


that looking-glass ache

by theputterer



Series: Binary Star Systems [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate History, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Expanded Universe, F/M, Humor, Jedi Ben Solo, Jedi Rey (Star Wars), Kylo Ren & Ben Solo are Twins, Lots of Jedi Fun, Memories, Romance, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, surprise cameos - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:27:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 104,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22671766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theputterer/pseuds/theputterer
Summary: Would-be Jedi Apprentice Rey is underwhelmed by the lessons given to her by Master Luke Skywalker. Luckily, she has Jedi Knight Ben Organa-Solo to guide her way forward.But the past demands to be relitigated. Power cannot be ignored. Futures cannot be diverted. In one universe, all your visions come true.To look into your mirror is a perilous thing.[Or: Ben Solo is not the one who becomes Kylo Ren, in this TLJ AU.]
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Binary Star Systems [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1616866
Comments: 188
Kudos: 181





	1. On The Island

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a sequel to the first story in this series, [and the world will be better for this](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22306288/chapters/53278168). You must read that first.

Though it feels like hours, in truth, Ben knows it’s only been minutes. Or one minute. Possibly less.

But Luke seems to just  _ stare. _ Stare at the lightsaber in Rey’s outstretched, trembling hand. Stare at Rey’s forlorn, near pleading face. Stare at Ben’s hard, determined expression. When Luke catches Ben’s gaze, Ben looks back. He has no idea what Luke is thinking or feeling when he looks at him, but he refuses to be afraid. He is done being afraid.

Finally, Luke reaches out, and lets Rey deposit the lightsaber into his hands.

She emits a soft breath as she does, her arm falling to her side.

Ben is standing a few steps behind her, and so he cannot see her expression. But the way her shoulders relax, her hands dangle loosely; he knows she’s enormously relieved.

Luke peers down at the lightsaber in his hands.

Ben wonders what he will say first. Something sarcastic and quippy, probably:  _ “Do you have the hand, too?” _ Or something wise:  _ “Well, I guess sometimes the things you least expect to be returned to you do come back.” _ Or something calculating:  _ “How’d you find this island?”  _ Or maybe something small and simple, like:  _ “Hello, Ben. It’s been a long time. Who’s your friend?” _

Ben is not sure which of these he’d prefer. He is not yet sure how he’ll react to Luke saying his name. Han and Leia saying his name had been a shock to the system, but something he’d spent the last six years desperate to hear. Luke is different. When Han and Leia say  _ Ben, _ they mean  _ Ben.  _ When Luke says  _ Ben, _ he really means,  _ Jedi. _

The three of them stand in stilted silence.

When Luke does react, he does something that is not even the  _ last _ thing Ben expects, simply because Ben never expected it at all.

Luke looks up, blank-faced, and tosses the lightsaber over his shoulder.

Ben and Rey stand, frozen, in mutual shock.

Without a word, Luke steps between them, and walks away.

Rey spins on the spot, mouth dropped. She looks at Ben, hazel eyes wide behind the loose hair being tossed around her face due to the wind. She looks at Ben like he has some insight or commentary on this reaction.

Ben has absolutely nothing.

“M-Master…” Rey tries, stops, and pulls herself together. “Master Skywalker?”

She hurries past Ben, trailing Luke as he moves purposefully down the stairs, back the way they’ve come.

Ben remains on the cliff edge.

The ocean lies ahead of him, cerulean blue and shivering, an opaque kind of sun overhead. It is undeniably very beautiful, very wild, yet Ben’s heart feels stiff and uncooperating. He doesn’t know what to do. He does know he’s in shock. He can barely feel the sharp breeze as it hits his face.

_ Keroo, keroo! _

The call of the birds of the island helps wake him up a bit. He shakes his head, rolls his shoulders, feeling a little like he’s getting ready to go into battle. He can’t hear Rey or Luke behind him anymore, and he walks forward, closer to the edge of the cliff.

Very luckily, Luke had not managed to throw the lightsaber into the ocean; Ben hates how he can’t be sure if Luke had meant to, or not. Either way, the lightsaber lies, abandoned and pathetic, in the tall seagrass. A couple of pudgy birds are next to it, poking at the strange metal cylinder; one is dangerously close to being sliced through by a misplaced claw on the activation switch. The birds take off when Ben approaches, their  _ keroos _ and  _ kerahs _ trailing them.

Ben picks the lightsaber up.

He holds it in his hand, and feels nothing. He wonders if this is what Luke felt when he held it as well.

Ben sighs.

He looks up, and his eye is caught by something in a small inlet, far below.

Under the water, blurry and covered in algae and decay, lies an x-wing.

_ That, _ Ben thinks,  _ is not a good omen. _

* * *

When Ben catches up to Rey, it’s to find her in the small village of round stone huts. She’s standing in front of one that has a makeshift door made of jagged, dirty metal; if Ben squints, he can see a serial number on one side.

“He won’t open the door,” Rey says. With one end of her staff, she raps on the door. “Master Skywalker? We need to talk to you.”

“Go away!”

In any other situation, Ben thinks he would laugh at his uncle’s petulant voice.

Ben reaches out, running his fingers over the metal. “He made this door out of metal from his starfighter.”

“His starfighter?”

Ben nods. “Yes. He’s submerged it in the ocean. Made it unflyable.”

Rey’s eyes are, impossibly, even wider. “But  _ why?” _

“Great question,” Ben mutters. He slams his open palm on the door. It barely moves the metal, but his hand makes a satisfying  _ smack _ sound, and Ben is pleased to get some of his rising anger out with that one move. “Luke! Get out here!”

Part of him expects Luke to come out if only to rebuke Ben for his rudeness.

But silence is the only answer he gets.

“Look,” Ben says, talking to the closed door, picturing his sulking uncle inside, “We’ve got time. Rey and I don’t have anywhere else to be. So unless you’re planning to live forever in this hut, then you’ll have to face us sometime. There’s two of us and one of you. We’ll outlast you.”

Silence.

He looks at Rey. She’s shaking her head, her bewilderment turning into a slow-rising fury.

Ben sighs.

He retrieves his lightsaber from his belt, and thumbs it on. The dark blue blade is electric, standing out before the pale blue sky, misty sun, green hills, and gray stone. Ben is sure the blade is visible over the crack at the top of the door.

“Luke,” Ben says, calmly. “If you don’t open this door, I’ll carve it open. X-wing hulls are tough, but we both know they can’t withstand a lightsaber. And then you’ll lose what I’m sure is a decent, weather-proof door, and we’ll just end up out here anyway.”

He waits.

Ben thinks he wouldn’t be surprised if Luke refused to open the door even with the threat; Luke is not behaving with any logic that Ben can follow.

But either he recognizes the lack of bluff in Ben’s voice, or the undeniable loss the metal door would be.

The door creaks open.

Luke glares at him from the gloom. Ben turns his lightsaber off.

“What are you doing here?” Luke snaps.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Ben replies, pleased with how calm he manages to sound. He isn’t used to being the adult in his dynamic with Luke, but he thinks he’s really rising to the occasion. “And as a matter of fact, I will. You have no idea everything we’ve gone through to find you, only for you to…”

_ “Ignore _ us!” Rey interjects, and Ben doesn’t disagree.

Luke turns away from Ben, raising his eyebrows at her.

“I don’t know you,” he says. “Who are you?”

“Rey.”

“Rey who?”

Some of Rey’s righteous anger leaves her; her tense shoulders fall into a familiar despair. “Nothing.”

“‘Nothing’ is an unusual surname, but I suppose I’ve heard stranger,” Luke says.

Ben rolls his eyes. “Glad to see you’ve still got your jokes.”

“And glad to see you’re just as cheeky as ever,” Luke grumbles. “You still haven’t answered my question, Ben; what are you doing here?”

Here, when Luke says  _ Ben,  _ he means,  _ Go away. _

Ben doesn’t know what to make of it.

“We’re here to become your apprentices,” Rey says, rescuing Ben from sinking into a melancholy over Luke’s dismissiveness. “Or, I am; I guess Ben already is a Jedi. But I want to become a Jedi. And we  _ need _ you. The Resistance needs you, and the galaxy needs you. Leia sent us. We need your help.”

Luke stares at Ben, and there is something hard in the line of his mouth.

_ “Leia _ sent you to me?” he asks, incredulous. “Your mother sent you back to me, after what happened with your  _ brother?” _

“It was my choice to come here,” Ben snaps, and he doesn’t try to fight down the anger. His calmness has evaporated like morning dew under a heat wave; perhaps all he needed to be pushed was Luke’s obnoxious response to the idea that his sister could encourage Ben to return to the Jedi Order. “I’m here because I want to be. The galaxy needs the Jedi now, more than ever.”

“That has never been true.”

“The First Order destroyed the Republic,” Rey says, at once. “They annihilated the entire Hosnian System with one blast of a weapon. The Resistance managed to destroy the weapon, but at great cost; the First Order will control all the major systems within a few weeks, months if we’re lucky. And Kylo Ren…” She takes a breath, half-glancing at Ben, but his eyes remain locked on Luke. “There is no light left in him. He’s getting stronger. We  _ need _ the Jedi Order back. We need Luke Skywalker back.”

Luke steps out of the hut, and Ben and Rey move aside to let him pass.

Luke looks more ancient than Ben has ever seen him. He runs his hand over his scraggly beard.

“Kylo Ren,” Luke repeats. He looks at Ben. “Kind of a stupid name, isn’t it?”

“They all have names like that,” Ben replies. “Vesper goes by Celosia, and Lior is Fallow. I don’t know who is who but Saffron and Hansa are now Evoleth and Qirin.”

“The Sith took new names when they turned,” Luke says. “My father was christened with the name  _ Vader.” _

Ben knows this; it seems Luke is giving the brief history lesson for Rey, who undoubtedly doesn’t know what they’re talking about. He hopes this is a hint that Luke is considering their plea.

Luke continues his slow walk forward, approaching the cliff’s edge. He gazes down at the ocean below, and Ben can ping the exact second he spots the  _ Millennium Falcon, _ powered down, resting comfortably on the rock at the shore.

“You flew the  _ Falcon _ here?” Luke asks, surprised, turning back to Ben. “And your father was okay with that?”

Ben stiffens.

Rey’s bewildered eyes turn away from Luke, becoming somber, staring down at the ruddy earth under her feet.

Luke picks up on the abrupt shift in mood easily enough. His voice is hard when he asks, “Where’s Han?”

“Sit down, Luke,” Ben says, quietly. “We have a lot to talk about.”

* * *

Luke does not interrupt Ben as he recounts the last week, and Ben is grateful for that. The two of them sit on a couple stone benches in the village, facing each other. Rey stands between them, arms crossed over her chest. She doesn’t move to interrupt either; instead, she remains still, and close, and Ben is thankful to have her and all her light so near.

Luke stares down at the stone under his feet, and does not meet Ben’s eyes.

Ben finds he prefers that; if Luke were to stare at him as he spoke, he worries he would not be able to get through the story intact.

The only change that comes across Luke is when Ben tells him about witnessing Bail murder Han.

Luke’s hand tightens into a fist, and his eyes close.

Ben swallows, hard, and powers on.

He has had very little time to process what he saw on Starkiller Base, from the experience of Kylo flipping through his memories, to the pain of the neurotoxin in his veins, to the murder of Han by his son, to the duel with Vesper and Lior in the snow. It is a lot to take in, a lot to sort through, and Ben has not had nearly enough time to come to terms with it. As he speaks, he pretends he is reciting someone else’s story. Someone else’s trauma.

When Ben tells Luke that Rey took on Kylo Ren and won, Luke looks up at her.

Rey meets his gaze unflinchingly, her chin lifted high.

Luke is the first to look away.

Ben wraps up the story with him and Rey arriving on Ahch-To.

Luke thinks.

He thinks in silence, gaze tilted down. The only noises around the three of them belong to nature: the incessant  _ keroos _ of the island birds, the wind rustling through the seagrass, the waves slamming onto the rocky shores far below. Ben keeps his eyes locked on Luke.

After a while, Luke looks back up. There is something pained and consoling in his eyes.

“You don’t need Luke Skywalker,” he says.

“Did… Did you not hear a word of what Ben just said?” Rey asks, true surprise coloring her voice.

Ben feels his shock returning.

After everything--after recounting the whole, traumatic ordeal--he was certain Luke would snap out of whatever odd funk he’s in, and immediately agree that they have a lot of work to do and need to get started right away. This; this is also something he didn’t expect. He feels a little bit like he’s been tossed carelessly over Luke’s shoulder, to fall into the sea below.

“You think… what, exactly?” Luke asks, getting to his feet, and speaking to Rey. “I’m gonna walk out with a laser sword and face down the whole First Order? What did you think was going to happen here? Did you think that I came to the most unfindable place in the galaxy for no reason at all?  _ Go. Away.” _

But it is Luke who walks away, ignoring his hut, and heading further up the hill.

Ben remains on the stone.

“We’re not leaving without you!” Rey yells.

Ben gets to his feet.

He’s halfway down the hill before Rey catches up to him.

“Ben, I’m so sorry,” she says, panting a little, stepping close behind him on the narrow stone stairs. “He had no right to say those… those  _ things _ to you. He has no right to be like this! Especially after you told him everything we’ve had to go through to get here… With Bail, and Han, and you were  _ tortured--” _

They’ve reached the  _ Falcon. _ Ben ignores the open entry ramp, walking with purpose to the island’s edge. Below is the sea, roaring and chaotic. And for a moment, he imagines throwing himself into it, to be drowned, or impaled on the sharp rocks.

But he doesn’t. He won’t.

Ben sighs, reaching into his shirt pocket and procuring the cigarettes and lighter.

Rey stares, aghast. “You  _ smoke?” _

“I know,” Ben replies, lighting up. “It’s an awful, dirty habit. But it keeps me calm, when I’m worried my… my emotions may get the better of me.”

And Rey, because she’s smart, because she pays attention; she gets it.

“You aren’t keeping yourself locked out of the Force anymore, though,” she comments.

“I still need help not letting my anger get the better of me. I’m out of practice.” Ben shrugs. “And as it turns out, I wasn’t the only one doing that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Rey,” Ben says, exhaling a cloud of smoke. “When we were up there with Luke; what did you feel?”

“Um.” Rey frowns. “Annoyance, mostly.”

Ben can’t help but laugh. “I’m sure that’s true. But I mean… What did you  _ sense?” _

“Oh.” She thinks about it. “Well, you, of course.”

_ Well, you, of course. _

Ben thinks he will never get used to that; Rey’s easy way of finding him, of feeling him in the Force. He wonders if she reaches out for him like he constantly does for her. Now that he’s found her bright light, as devastating and unique as a new star; he can’t imagine ever  _ not _ reaching for her.

“Anything else?” Ben asks.

“Um, the island, I guess,” she says, slowly. “Maybe the birds? I don’t know, I was distracted.”

“What about Luke?”

“Well, I--”

She breaks off.

Ben nods around his cigarette, patiently waiting for Rey to reach the realization he was struck by shortly after encountering Luke here.

“I didn’t feel him,” she whispers.

“Nor did I,” Ben confirms. “He’s cut himself off from the Force.”

_ “Why?” _

“Based on our interaction with him… I’d guess it’s because he truly wants nothing to do with the Force, or the Jedi, or…”

_ Me. _

The word is on the tip of his tongue. He swallows it down with the taste of ash.

“Ben, I’m so sorry,” Rey whispers.

Ben looks at her. “You said that already.”

“Well, I’m still sorry,” she says, voice soft. “I’m sure this is a… a shock to you. And you don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve to be ignored, not by your family.”

Her voice hardens as she speaks. Ben catches a minute tremble that shakes her frame.

He is not the only one struggling with Luke’s rejection.

“Come here,” he says.

She does, stepping into him, pressing her face into his chest, putting her arms around his waist. He drops his cigarette uncaringly onto the rocks at their feet, and wraps both arms around Rey, holding her close, pressing his nose into her hair. She smells like seawater and earth, natural and comforting.

“What are we going to do?” Rey asks, speaking into his sternum.

“In terms of long-term plans… I have no idea,” Ben admits. “But I meant it when I told Luke that we have nowhere else to be. I have a lot of questions for him, and I think I should get their answers. And I think you deserve the opportunity to learn about the Force, and the Jedi, from the last Jedi Master. I can get over Luke refusing me, but he has no business denying you.”

“I don’t think he should refuse you, either.”

Ben smiles into her hair. “That’s kind of you to say. But one problem at a time. Theoretically, Luke stopped training me seven years ago, when I became a Knight.”

“... But?”

“There is always more to learn,” Ben says, quietly. “Every text I read emphasized that; no one ever stops learning and growing. As soon as you do that, you’ve abandoned your capacity to be a better person.”

_ “Better is not the same thing as good,” Ben says. “Bail never wanted to be good as much as he wanted to be the best.” _

Ben pushes his own words about his brother out of his mind.

“C’mon,” he says, leaning down to briefly kiss Rey. “Let’s get our things out of the  _ Falcon _ and move into the village. That’ll be a good gesture to Luke that we aren’t going anywhere.”

* * *

Neither of them brought much, so it takes a very short amount of time to gather their things from the  _ Falcon, _ including the items that migrated during their day-long trip to Ahch-To.

As he rummages through one of the many storage bins in the  _ Falcon, _ Ben’s hand catches on a small, round object. He pulls it out, grinning at the sight of the ancient Marksman-H training remote. It’s a little beaten, absolutely outdated, but Ben suspects it will still work. He tucks it into his rucksack.

Rey pauses by R2-D2, running her hand over the droid’s still form. “We can’t take him up with us, can we? There’s too many stairs.”

“Well… I can,” Ben admits.

“How?!”

“The same way you called that lightsaber to your hand on Ilum,” Ben says, nodding at the lightsaber that’s been returned to Rey’s satchel. He’d given it back to her after retrieving it from the cliff edge. “Telekinesis. Working with the Force to move objects wherever you’d like them to go. It’s an ability common to every Force-user. But it does take quite a bit of practice, skill, and power to manipulate items that are large, heavy, or sentient. I once read about a Jedi who was able to open a door several light-years away, just by looking at the door through a holocomm.”

“That’s amazing,” Rey says, eyes big with wonder. “So you can bring Artoo with us?”

Ben hesitates. “Do you want me to?”

Rey frowns. “What do you mean?”

“I could bring Artoo up with us,” Ben says, “Or, we could wait until  _ you _ can. Carrying Artoo up the hillside would be an excellent challenge. If you worked at it, you could probably get him up there in a few weeks.”

Rey thinks about it, her hand moving absentmindedly over the droid.

“I think,” she says, slowly, “That I’d like him to come up with us now. And then later, I can try to bring him back down? If he’s in the village with us I can work on him until we get Master Skywalker to talk to us again.”

Ben nods. “Then that’s what we’ll do.”

Rey gathers up the blankets and pillows they’d acquired from Maz Kanata on Takodana and neglected to give back amidst the attack of the First Order the next morning; Ben somehow doesn’t think Maz will miss them much.

“Ready?” Ben asks.

“Ready.”

“You go first,” Ben says. “In case I drop Artoo; that way you won’t get hit.”

Rey pauses on the entry ramp. “Is that likely? I’m already trying to fix his computer, I really don’t need to also repair his broken hull.”

“It’s unlikely. But I’m being careful.”

“You always are,” Rey says, but she does not say it sardonically; she says it plainly, with affection.

She leaves the ship, and Ben takes a breath, running his hand over the droid.

“Artoo, if you’re in there,” he murmurs, “Please know I am going to do my very best not to drop you, but if I do, that I am very sorry.”

He gets no response. He wasn’t really expecting one.

Ben takes a moment to ground himself, closing his eyes, and feeling the island around him. Inside the  _ Falcon, _ the bird calls are quieter, and the gusting wind nonexistent. It is only the sea that is audible, a soft, constant rumble at the back of his head.

_ Breathe, _ Ben thinks, reminding himself of what may have been one of Luke’s most critical lessons.  _ Just breathe. _

The Force does not control Ben. He is only one person interacting with it.

R2-D2 lifts off the floor of the  _ Falcon. _

Ben opens his eyes.

He feels a thin thrumming in his chest, something warm pulsing in his veins. The Force is with him, touching him, a friendly, comforting presence. He’s been without it for six years, and to have it again, he can’t imagine how he managed to live like that.

He walks out of the ship, following the hovering droid.

As he expected, Rey is waiting outside.

She grins at the sight of the floating droid, one hand reaching up as if to touch it, before drawing back. She looks at Ben instead.

“Go ahead,” Ben says. “We’ll be right behind you.”

Rey turns, marching up the stairs.

Ben and R2-D2 follow.

The sun is stiff and ever-present overhead, yet not overbearing. Ben imagines it is a far cry from the Jakku sun that Rey spent so many years toiling under. She does not comment on this, and neither does he; he knows how disorienting it can be to be yanked unwillingly into the past.

They reach the village, and Ben carefully sets R2-D2 down outside one of the huts. Rey stands in awe, pressing her palm to the droid’s head, like she can’t quite believe he’s real.

Ben, with sweat gathering at his hairline, thinks of assuring her that R2-D2 is  _ very _ real.

Rey looks back up at Ben, and her smile is brighter than the sun above them.

“That was incredible,” she says.

Ben shrugs. It was tougher to do than he’d wished; he’s desperately out of practice.

“You’ll be able to do it too,” he says, instead.

“I can’t  _ wait,” _ Rey insists.

Ben laughs, but his smile fades as Rey’s does. Her eyes are locked on something behind him, and he turns on the spot.

Luke has returned to the village.

He stares at R2-D2, and Ben loses his breath at the agony in his uncle’s eyes.

Luke marches up to the droid, carelessly depositing the massive fish he’d had slung over his shoulders to the ground. “What did you do to him?”

“Not us!” Rey exclaims, clearly offended at Luke’s accusation that she would ever hurt a droid. Ben thinks of her loyalty to BB-8, how helping BB-8 even took her off Jakku, and is somewhat surprised that Rey hasn’t hit Luke over the head with her staff for his comment.

“He turned off one day,” Ben says, quickly, before Rey can do just that. Luke looks at him, from his position on his knees in front of R2-D2. “That’s what Threepio told us, anyway.” Luke stiffens at the other droid’s name, and turns back to look at R2-D2. “They don’t know what’s wrong with him. Rey is going to try and get him to power back on.”

“We were hoping,” Rey says, slowly, “That it would help if he was near you again.” She looks between Luke and R2-D2 pointedly. “Doesn’t seem to be having much of an effect. Yet.”

Luke sags at these words. And then he gets to his feet.

“I see you’re moving in.”

Ben looks at the bag hanging off his back, and the one Rey is carrying, and R2-D2 on the ground. “What gave us away?”

Luke sighs, shaking his head. “You’re wasting your time.”

“Someone certainly is,” Ben snaps. “But I don’t think it’s Rey or me.”

Before Luke can retort, Ben turns away, looking back at Rey. He jerks his head to the side, gesturing out of the village, and Rey sets down her satchel. Without a word to Luke, they walk out of the village, heading east, along a new stone path they haven’t explored yet.

Behind them, Ben still catches Luke’s first words to R2-D2: “Hello, old friend.”

He can’t help but smile at Luke’s clear fondness.

Rey waits until they’re definitely out of earshot before speaking.

“Why did we leave?”

“I’m hoping that seeing Artoo powered down and useless might stir something in Luke,” Ben explains. “He wasn’t obviously moved by what we told him about the First Order and Starkiller Base; maybe he needs a tangible reminder of what’s at stake, and what could be lost.”

Rey scowls. “You’d think the sight of  _ you _ would be enough.”

Ben shrugs. “I think… For a lot of people, Bail and I were a packaged set. Almost the same person.”

When people said,  _ Bail and Ben,  _ it sounded like,  _ Bail-and-Ben. _

They were always  _ the boys. _ Or  _ the twins. _

“I think, when Luke looks at me, he sees Bail, too,” Ben says, quietly. “And I think he isn’t ready to deal with what happened with Bail. I know I wasn’t ready until…”

Until he was on Starkiller Base, staring at his brother, as his brother tortured him with a neurotoxin and an invasion into his head. It was only then, when he was near delirious with pain and shock, that it fully hit Ben that his fears had been real. Bail was lost; it was Kylo now, who wore his face.

Rey takes his hand, squeezing it gently. Ben is grateful for the comfort.

“Neither of your parents had issues seeing you, and not Kylo,” Rey comments.

“Well, it’s different for them. What happened with Bail… it’s more abstract to them. They weren’t there. Luke was.”

_ And so was I. _

“What did happen?” Rey asks. “I know it’s hard for you to talk about, but I… I’d like to know.”

“I want to tell you, too,” Ben says. “But first, I--”

He breaks off.

Both Ben and Rey have stopped on the path, faces turned in the same direction. A strange sort of fog has rolled in, congregating in a small glen. Through the mist, if Ben squints, he thinks he can see the outline of a tree.

But what has stopped them is the chanting, as soft and quiet as a whisper:

_ There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force. _

Ben has heard it before.

To Rey, he asks, “Can you hear them?”

She nods, eyes locked on the glen. “What is it?”

Ben thinks this is for Rey to find out for herself. “Take a look.”

She drops his hand, moving slowly down the path, towards the tree. After a moment, Ben follows her.

The chanting grows louder.

The tree is a Uneti tree; Ben has never seen one in person, but he has seen them in old holos enough to recognize one. And the chanting; if it was going to come from any tree, it would be a Uneti tree.

The trunk is hollowed out, revealing a small opening. Rey hesitates in front of this opening for a moment before steeling herself, and walking inside, disappearing into the dark. Ben follows her in, ducking a bit to avoid smacking his head on the tree’s opening.

A beam of sunlight cuts through a hole at the top of the tree, illuminating a single shelf that’s been built into a wall. There are eight bound books and scrolls on the shelf of varying sizes; the only thing clearly uniting them is their undeniable relic status.

Distantly, Ben becomes aware that the chanting has stopped.

Rey walks to the texts. Her hand immediately goes to the one in the middle, carefully taking it out of the line. She runs her finger over the cover, tracing the wings and sword and star of the symbol there, one that Ben recognizes: the symbol of the Jedi Order.

“I’ve seen this before,” she whispers.

“Who are you?”

Ben and Rey whirl around. 

Shadowed in the doorway is Luke.

Rey ignores him, her gaze moving slowly over the books, the ancient tree’s walls. “I know this place.”

Luke walks into the tree, moving towards the shelf.

“Built a thousand generations ago, to keep these,” he murmurs, his hand brushing the page that Rey had touched. “The original Jedi texts.” He looks up abruptly, turning his gaze to Rey. “You’ve seen this place. You’ve seen this island.”

Ben is suddenly reminded that he’s seen this island, too.

In his head, during his interrogation by Kylo. A recollection that hadn’t been a memory. A dream where Rey was there, too.

“You were really there,” Ben whispers, and Rey and Luke look at him. “We were here, on the island. At the same time.”

“With Kylo,” Rey says, realization hitting her.

“But it wasn’t a premonition, or a memory,” Ben says, slowly.

“Not a Force vision?” Luke asks, voice hard.

Ben shakes his head. “No, I’ve experienced Force visions before… This was different. Almost like a mind meld, but… unconsciously.”

“Force vision?” Rey repeats.

“Visions of events yet to come,” Ben explains. “Glimpses of the future. But not always accurate.”

This last part, he adds with forceful intensity.

Rey’s eyes widen, her mouth opening to ask, but Luke interrupts her, repeating his earlier question: “Who are you?”

“Someone who wants to be a Jedi,” Rey snaps. “The Resistance sent me. Your sister, Leia, sent me.”

Luke ignores the comment about Leia, but Ben remembers Leia’s parting words to them.

_ “Please tell my brother that I say hello,” she says, “And that he needs to be kind to you.” _

_ So much for that, _ Ben thinks.

“They sent you,” Luke echoes. “But why did they send  _ you? _ What is special about you? Where are you from?”

It is an astonishingly rude thing to say, and quite rich coming from someone who was originally just a farm boy from Tatooine.

Rey rises to Luke’s challenge.

“Nowhere,” she says.

“No one’s from nowhere,” Luke says, a hint of gentleness returning to his voice. Maybe he’d remembered his own humble beginnings after all…

“Jakku.”

“Okay, that’s pretty much nowhere,” Luke amends, and Ben bites back a smirk. “Why are you here, Rey of Nowhere?”

“The Resistance sent me,” Rey repeats. “We need your help. The First Order is unstoppable--”

“That isn’t what I asked,” Luke interrupts. “You’ve already told me all that. And I know why Ben is here.” Luke’s eyes slide to him, at last. “Ben is looking for answers, and closure, and absolution.”

Ben stares. Luke turns back to Rey.

“Why are  _ you _ here?” he asks.

Rey’s eyes flicker down. In the half-sun emerging through the slit in the ceiling, she is ethereal, and Ben can’t take his eyes off her.

“Something inside me,” Rey whispers, “Has always been there. And now it’s awake. And I’m afraid. I don’t know what it is, or what to do with it. I need help.”

Luke nods. “You need a teacher. But I can’t teach you.”

“What?” Ben asks, at the same time as Rey demands, “Why not?”

“I will never train another generation of Jedi,” Luke says, to Ben and Rey’s astonished faces. “I came to this island to die. It’s time for the Jedi to end.”

Rey stares, bereft.

Luke turns, and leaves the tree.

In the next breath, Ben is marching out after him.

“Turn around,” Ben snarls, and the mist swirls around him, his anger affecting even nature. It is enough to make Luke still, though his back remains facing Ben. “Turn around, you  _ coward.” _

Slowly, Luke does that.

He looks old, and tired, and angry.

Ben can relate.

“What the  _ hell _ is wrong with you?” Ben demands. Dimly, he is aware that Rey has left the tree as well, and is standing behind him. “You’re Luke Skywalker, Master Jedi. You swore to uphold the Jedi Code and live with honor, and to instruct and teach, and pass on the Jedi Way. What right do you have to refuse someone asking for your help? Someone asking to learn the ways of the Force?”

“If you’re so determined to pass on the ways of the Jedi, why don’t  _ you _ teach her?” Luke snaps. “You are a Jedi, are you not?”

For a moment, Ben is taken aback.

He hadn’t really thought that he could be Rey’s teacher.

“Because I’m not a Jedi Master,” Ben says, slowly. “I’m not a galactic hero, or the head of a religious dynasty. I’m just a Knight. And Rey deserves to learn from the very best, and that’s you.”

Luke studies him.

“Amazing,” he says. “How completely wrong you are.”

Ben’s blood boils.

“Kriff, could you at least  _ pretend _ you care, and stop being condescending?” he says, aware he’s shouting now. “You can judge me all you want, Force knows I deserve it, but Rey doesn’t! If her hope is misplaced, if my  _ mother’s _ hope is misplaced, they deserve to know  _ why. _ It’s the least you could do, since it looks like you won’t do anything else.”

Silence falls.

Ben’s breaths are coming in harsh gasps. He feels both out of control and completely calm. A dam has broken between them. He is bursting with grief, rage, confusion, and sorrow.

He thinks of what Luke just said to Rey about him:  _ “Ben is looking for answers, and closure, and absolution.” _

_ Yes, _ Ben thinks.  _ I am. _

“You remind me of your mother,” Luke says, which is about the last thing Ben expected. “I suppose it helps, you have her eyes, and all. But to hear you also speak of hope…”

He trails off.

After another moment of silence, Luke straightens, rolling his shoulders. He looks at Rey over Ben’s shoulder.

“Tomorrow, at dawn,” he says. “Three lessons. I will teach you the ways of the Jedi.” He looks at Ben then, and it is to Ben he says, “And why they need to end.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome! I am nearly done with this story, but I am so excited about it I could not wait to start posting. I had so much fun with it.
> 
> Sources include "The Jedi Path" and "The Book of Sith" by Daniel Wallace, as well as several dives into Wookieepedia.
> 
> I am extremely pro THE LAST JEDI but will be taking some liberties with the plot to better fit my vision of the story and the development of the characters, most obviously in the fact that Ben is on the island with Rey and Kylo Ren is off with Snoke and the gang, and they are different people. (Identical twin brothers.)
> 
> I am on [tumblr](https://theputterer.tumblr.com/).


	2. Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There is no pain,” he whispers into her skin. “There is grace.”

Rey wakes slowly.

Soft, dawn light sneaks in through the cracks of the hut she’s claimed as her own. A thin blanket hangs as her makeshift door, and the sun’s rays have made it almost translucent. She sits up, rubbing her eyes and yawning. Outside, she can hear the incessant calls of the island birds, the ever-present breeze, and the crash of the waves, far below.

It is a calm, lovely morning.

It is her first day as a Jedi apprentice.

Her heart soars with this knowledge.

She has no idea what to expect, no idea how to prepare. She is nervous, but undeniably excited. She feels like she is standing on the precipice of something; understanding, hopefully.

She stretches, rolling her shoulders, feeling the sun on her face.

And then everything falls suddenly silent. Like all the noise in the world has been cut.

The only thing Rey can hear are her own breaths, turning harsh with the uncertainty of her environment.

Hesitantly, she turns her head.

At first, she thinks Ben has magically appeared in her hut.

But she blinks, and realizes it is not Ben, but his identical twin: Kylo Ren.

He’s sitting in some kind of elaborate chair; medical, maybe, going by his awkward position. He’s dressed head-to-toe in black, gloves covering his hands. These are all things that hint to her that she is not looking at Ben, but there is one sign even more glaringly obvious: a long, jagged scar that runs down the right side of his face.

She was the one who put it there.

On Ilum. In the snow. The blue fire of the Skywalker lightsaber, ringing through the air, cutting down her opponent.

Kylo stares back at Rey now, and she is quite gratified to see he looks similarly stunned at seeing her.

They breathe, exchanging short breaths across the space.

And then instinct returns to Rey.

She leans to the side, picking up her NN-14 blaster pistol, clicking the safety off, and firing.

Kylo jerks back.

Rey blinks, and he’s gone; a smoldering hole in the wall of the hut looks back at her.

She leaps to her feet, and hurries out of the hut.

Outside, the sun is bright, casting warm shadows over the mossy green grass that runs through the village. The fire pit in the middle, the one she and Ben had sat beside while eating dinner the night before, is all black ash. She turns on the spot, but she doesn’t see anyone else; not Ben, not Luke, and not Kylo.

But everything is still so _silent._

The hairs on the back of her neck prickle, and she spins around.

Kylo stands there, staring at her.

He lifts his arm.

“You will bring Luke Skywalker to me,” he says, and Rey recoils, fighting down her panic, focusing on her anger at the sight of him instead. She doesn’t yet know what to do to keep him out of her head--

But Kylo is already lowering his arm, something calculating crossing his face, his lips twisting together almost comically.

“You’re not doing this,” he muses. “The effort would kill you.”

Rey stares, as he slowly turns, glancing behind him. 

“Can you see my surroundings?” he asks, but Rey interrupts him.

“You are going to _pay_ for what you did!” she snarls.

She thinks of Han, falling in a haze of spasming red light. She thinks of Poe, with his battered face. She thinks of Ben, and his silent tears in the _Falcon._

Kylo presses on, ignoring her.

“I can’t see yours,” he continues. “Just you. So… No. This is something else.”

The creak of a metal door opening comes from behind Rey. She jerks her head around to see Luke leaving his hut.

Kylo follows her gaze, his eyes flickering to what she understands is only empty space to him, and back to her.

“Luke?” he guesses. And then he blinks, a minute change affecting his features, and his voice is quieter when he asks, “Or… Ben?”

Rey’s rage returns to her. She has a million things to say to him about Ben, but Luke is right behind her, and she doesn’t think she’s ready to sort out what is happening here just yet--

“Hey,” Luke calls, and Rey turns back to him. He’s gesturing to her hut, the new hole in the wall. “What’s that about?”

With Luke’s voice, noise rushes back into the world.

Rey looks into the space before her.

Kylo is gone.

* * *

She has no time to think about what just happened.

Luke seems to buy her blaster explanation, and part of Rey is a little offended at how easy it is for him to believe she mishandled a dangerous weapon. But the alternative of him asking questions is too dicey, so she will have to allow it.

When she finally sees Ben, climbing up the hill from the _Falcon,_ hair wet but fluffing up in the sunlight, she opens her mouth, to tell him about the appearance of Kylo.

But then he smiles at her, easy and affectionate, and he is such a far cry from his villainous twin that she loses her voice.

She resolves to not tell him unless she sees Kylo again; he’d seemed as nonplussed as her at the whole thing. Perhaps it is a strange one off event.

“Morning,” he says, and then catches sight of her partially demolished hut. “Um.”

“Don’t ask,” Rey grumbles.

“Okay,” Ben says, grinning, before abruptly straightening. “Oh. Hi.”

From seemingly out of nowhere have come creatures Rey has never seen before. Short, rotund, vaguely avian looking and not speaking any language Rey can recognize, they enter the village with brooms, washing basins, tools, and baskets. Two approach Rey’s wrecked hut and begin gesticulating at it, turning accusing fingers to Rey and back.

“Yes, yes,” Ben says, hands rising in a placating gesture. “We’ll fix it, no worries.”

“You can understand them?” Rey asks, surprised.

Ben snorts. “Absolutely not. Hopefully I sound friendly and apologetic, though.”

Rey laughs.

“Later, we can come down and repair the wall,” Ben says.

“Okay. I’m sure I’ve got tools in the _Falcon_ that’ll do it.”

“Yeah. And it’ll be a good start for working on your telekinesis,” Ben says, gesturing at the ragged and broken stone lying on the ground. Rey rolls her eyes.

“Let’s get started,” Luke calls, pulling on a battered leather cape.

Rey hurries to Luke’s side, grabbing the Skywalker lightsaber on her way, Ben shadowing her steps.

“Who are those… beings?” she asks, half-glancing back. It could be her imagination, but she thinks they’re glaring at her.

“Caretakers,” Luke replies. They’re climbing up the hillside now, headed in a different direction than Ben and Rey had gone to find Luke on the cliff edge the day before. “Island natives, called the Lanai. They’ve kept up the Jedi structures since they were first built.”

“I don’t think they like me,” Rey breathes. She hears Ben huff a soft laugh behind her.

“I can’t imagine why,” Luke says, and though she isn’t a hundred percent sure, she thinks he might be smiling.

She allows herself to feel a small moment of triumph, even if it is at the expense of her pride.

The higher they climb, the stronger the wind blows. The grass is thinner near the top of the mountain, but hardier, steadied by the harsh elements the fauna up here must endure. Rey starts to regret not pulling her tunic on for this first lesson, the contents of which she knows very little about. For all she knows, they might reach the top of the mountain and Luke will immediately turn on her with his own lightsaber, and expect her to duel him.

A thrill of fear and excitement rolls through her.

At the top of the mountain stands a solid wall of sharp rock, broken by a slight slit in the middle. Rey squints, but the sunlight prevents her from seeing anything inside. When Luke walks in without a word, she follows him in, Ben on her heels.

The rock opens into a stone staircase, leading into a cavern. She can hear water trickling somewhere, hazy sunlight filtering in from the gap behind them, and ahead, a rock ledge stretching out over the island below. The cavern itself is completely empty, save for a small reflecting pool in the middle of the space.

And Rey has _been here before._

She feels it keenly, just as strongly and obviously as she felt while standing in the tree the day before. She has seen this place. She thinks of what Ben and Luke said, of Force visions.

_“Visions of events yet to come,” Ben explains. “Glimpses of the future. But not always accurate.”_

So far, hers have all been accurate. That must count for something towards her Force sensitivity.

“This is the First Jedi Temple,” Luke says, as Ben and Rey walk further into the room. “Perhaps the only surviving one that the Galactic Empire failed to destroy. Built several millennia ago; so long ago that records of time were only sporadically kept.” He pauses. “Speaking of which; Ben, how long has it been?”

Ben turns around. “What?”

Luke looks pained. “How long has it been? Since…”

He trails off, but the end of his sentence is still heard loudly.

_Since Bail fell. Since you cut yourself off from the Force. Since I left._

“A little over six standard years,” Ben murmurs.

Luke blinks. “Is that really all?”

“What do you mean?”

“Time moves differently here, on Ahch-To,” Luke explains. “I suspect it has to do with the suns. There’s something a little strange about them; can you tell?”

Rey nods, slowly.

She hadn’t even realized Ahch-To had two suns.

“One of the texts I read mentioned it,” Luke continues. “But I was never able to get a confirmation. Until now.”

“How long does it feel like it’s been?” Ben asks.

Luke sighs. “Ten years, if not more.”

“You feel like you’ve been on this island, alone, for ten years?” Rey asks, alarmed.

Luke studies her.

“It is no less than I deserve,” he murmurs, and the sorrow in his voice gives Rey pause.

Ben walks further into the room, his gaze down. He stands over the reflecting pool, cocking his head, frowning down at it.

“What’s this?”

Rey and Luke join him. In the pool, under the water, is a tiled mosaic. It looks to be a humanoid figure, sitting, a lightsaber clutched in its hands and cutting the figure in half. The tiles on the figure’s left side have the figure in dark clothes with a light background, while on the other half the figure is clothed in white and shrouded in dark.

“The Prime Jedi,” Luke replies. “The creator of the Jedi Order; the very first Jedi. They founded the Jedi Order many millennia ago, before the construction of this Temple. The builders of this Temple made the mosaic in honor of that Jedi.”

“Perfectly balanced,” Ben murmurs, eyeing the mosaic’s design.

Luke nods. “And in a meditative state. The ideal Jedi.”

Rey bends, her fingers hovering over the water. She is tempted to touch it, though she is not sure where the impulse is coming from. She draws back before she can give into it.

Luke eyes her as she stands.

“Rey of Nowhere,” he says, walking towards the rock ledge. There is a single, large stone resting on the ledge, perfect for one person to sit. “Tell me again why you think the galaxy needs the Jedi.”

Rey exchanges a look with Ben. He shrugs, in a _just-let-it-happen_ kind of way.

Rey straightens.

“Master Skywalker,” she says, voice firm, “We need you to bring the Jedi back because Kylo Ren, and the other Knights of Ren, and Supreme Leader Snoke, are strong in the Dark Side of the Force. Without the Jedi, we won’t stand a chance against them.”

“Mm-hmm,” Luke muses. He’s unearthed a fern frond from his tunic, and is resting it thoughtfully under his chin. “And what do you know about the Force?”

Rey thinks of what Ben has already told her. She knows the Force does not belong to Luke Skywalker, that there are certain people more attuned to it… She thinks of everything she’s seen Ben do, and Leia too… and the recent development today with Kylo… 

“Um, it’s a… power that Jedi have,” she says, slowly. “That lets them… connect their minds, and… make things float.”

Luke looks distinctly unimpressed.

Rey doesn’t dare look at Ben.

“Well,” Luke says. “I see that you were right about one thing; you do need help.”

Rey scowls.

“As if you were an all-knowing Force user when you started on the Jedi Path,” Ben scoffs.

“Am I the teacher here, or are you?”

Ben rolls his eyes, but doesn’t say anything more. He’s adopted a stance in front of Luke here; straight-back, shoulders tense, hands clasped neatly behind his back. Rey wonders if this is his way of deferring to Luke and his status; a Knight standing before a Master.

“Lesson One,” Luke says, using the frond to tap the sitting stone in front of him. “Sit here, legs crossed.”

Rey does as directed, moving into the same position as the Prime Jedi in the mosaic behind her.

“The Force is not a power you have,” Luke says, coming around to stand beside Rey. “It’s not about making things float, whether it be droids or rocks. It’s the energy between all things; a tension, a balance, that binds the universe together.”

“Okay,” Rey says. She briefly recalls Ben saying something much similar to this under the stars on Takodana.

_“The Force is a living, breathing thing. It connects us all, connects all life. It exists outside of politics, outside of empires, rebellions, alliances, so-called First Orders… It is an immortal thing.”_

“But,” she says now, frowning. “... What is it?”

Luke nods once, unsurprised. “Close your eyes…” 

Rey does so.

“Breathe. And reach out.”

She moves instinctively, raising her arm, like she has seen Ben and Kylo do.

She takes deep, even, breaths.

And something _brushes her hand._ Rey gasps.

“I feel something!” she exclaims.

“You feel it?”

“Yes, I feel it!”

“It’s the Force,” Luke says.

 _“Really?”_ Rey had sensed the Force around her while she battled Kylo on Ilum, had sensed Ben’s warmth in Starkiller Base, but this is something different. Now and here, the Force is a tangible, _physical_ thing.

“Wow, it must be really strong with you!”

Rey beams. “I’ve never felt anyth--”

She breaks off, as something comes down and _slaps_ the back of her hand.

Rey’s eyes snap open, her mouth forming an _ow_ shape, and shakes out her hand. Luke is staring at her, frond still raised rather threateningly.

“Oh,” Rey says. “You meant reach out, like…” She presses her hand to her chest.

Luke’s stare turns even more pointed. Rey sighs.

She chances a look behind her.

Ben has abandoned his tense stance, and is hiding an amused smile behind his palm, his eyes twinkling with mirth in the light. Though her face is rapidly turning red, Rey offers him an embarrassed smile. She turns back to Luke.

“I’ll try again.”

He tosses the frond over the cliff edge carelessly, before taking Rey’s hands, and placing them, palm down, on the stone in front of her. Several small pebbles press into her palms.

“Breathe,” Luke says, and his voice is softer, now. Kinder, almost. “Just breathe.”

Rey’s eyes slip closed.

Behind her, she hears Ben take his own deep breath.

“Now, reach out,” Luke whispers. “What do you _see?”_

She reaches out.

She sees.

* * *

“The island.”

The shape of it, small and seemingly unremarkable. Rocky, green, ancient.

“Life.”

Wildflowers and seagrass, shimmering in early morning dew.

“Death and decay.”

In the soil, a ragged skeleton, thin and small.

“That feeds new life.”

Tiny buds of plants, sprouting out of that same soil, reaching for the soft blue sky.

“Warmth.”

Ben, smiling at her, bright and affectionate, in the sunlight.

“Cold.”

The waves crashing on the shore, pulling and receiving, endlessly changing.

“Peace.”

Those odd little birds, crooning, safe in a nest.

“Violence.”

That same nest, drowned by an errant wave, swept out to sea.

“And between it all?” Luke whispers, from somewhere far away.

Rey smiles.

“Balance,” she breathes. “Energy… A _Force.”_

“And inside you?”

She is life and death and decay and warmth and cold and peace and violence. She is wrapped in light, coated in serenity. Everything travels in and out and around her, and she takes it in, accepts it, welcomes it, breathes it out, revels in it. She is here, and she is now, and she is--

“Inside me,” Rey whispers. “That same Force.”

“And this is the lesson,” Luke says. “That Force does not belong to the Jedi. To say that if the Jedi dies, the light dies; it’s vanity, can you _feel_ that? Snoke and Kylo will never be able to destroy the light, no matter what happens to the Jedi. The Force belongs to everyone.”

Rey’s smile is wide, she feels so calm, so much, and--

_What’s that?_

A half-moon shaped inlet, shadowed in blue light. 

“There’s something else beneath the island,” Rey says, slowly.

Shimmering waves calmly lapping the black rock.

“A place. A dark place.”

A gaping circular hole, surrounded by thick seaweed.

“Balance,” Luke says. “Powerful light, powerful darkness.”

The hole is just wide enough for a person to fall through. She feels herself move closer.

She shivers. “It’s _cold.”_

She can’t believe her breaths aren’t coming out tinged in frost.

From somewhere very far away, she hears an echoing _crack._ Something is brushing her fingers, and it is not wind.

“It’s calling me,” Rey gasps, and her voice sounds like a plea.

Somewhere, rocks are tumbling.

“Resist it, Rey,” Luke snaps.

She’s at the hole now. It sounds like it's screaming; or someone is screaming.

Luke shouts her name: _“Rey!”_

She’s close, so close, she just needs to lean over a little… 

“Rey.”

Sunlight, sure and strong, pure and shocking in its warmth, leans over her. The dark hole quakes, the seaweed shrivels up, and the dark blue light turns pale.

“Rey,” Ben whispers, again.

Her sunlight.

* * *

Rey gasps, coming back to herself. Her palms slam on the stone under her; she’s fallen, somehow, sprawled on her hands and knees in front of the sitting stone. She feels sweat at her temple, water at her cheeks. She is panting like she’s run up the mountain and back down.

Ben is beside her, leaning over her, one hand at her back, his palm carefully touching her with soothing warmth.

“Breathe,” he whispers.

She nods, gasping still, trying to pull herself together. Carefully, on trembling legs, she sits up, stumbling back to look at Luke.

He’s staring at her, shock distorting his features.

“You went straight to the dark,” he says.

“That place was calling me,” Rey pants.

Luke gives her one firm nod. “It offered you something you needed. But you didn’t even try to stop yourself.”

He’s moving away, she realizes. Backing away from her, like she’s some kind of dangerous creature.

“I didn’t see you,” Rey says, softly.

Luke pauses.

Ben had noticed it first, and clued Rey in to it yesterday: that Luke had cut himself off from the Force. But she had not really noticed it until just now, not when she was feeling everything on the island, including Ben. Luke simply wasn’t there. If she was not able to see him in front of her, she’d think he wasn’t on the island at all.

“Nothing from you,” Rey continues. She heaves herself up, clinging to the sitting stone. “You’ve cut yourself off from the Force.”

Her accusation is wilted. She is too exhausted to confront him on this.

Ben, surprisingly, offers nothing.

“I’ve seen this raw strength only twice before,” Luke hisses. “In Bail and Ben Organa-Solo.”

At that, Ben moves, straightening up, but remaining on his knees. He stares straight at Luke, and his expression gives nothing away.

“It didn’t scare me enough then,” Luke says. “It does now.”

Rey stares, bereft, as Luke walks away.

* * *

She doesn’t know how long she and Ben remain there, kneeling on the stone, in silence.

Ben is the first to break it.

“Rey,” he murmurs.

Rey swallows, hard, her eyes stinging. She pulls herself up, to perch on the stone once more.

Ben gets to his feet next to her.

“I did that,” Rey whispers, staring at the crevice that has formed in the rock, to run wildly up the mountain wall. She thinks of other created gorges, from the canyon that formed in front of her on Ilum, to the jagged scar on Kylo Ren’s face. Two rifts she is inextricably linked to.

“It isn’t an uncommon thing,” Ben says, voice firm. “Luke is being dramatic. You’re strong in the Force, but I knew that. He should have been prepared for that.”

Ben climbs up onto the stone, sitting across from her. There isn’t really the space for it, and Rey has to squeeze her legs in tight to her body, but they manage to fit, knees brushing.

“I told you earlier about how you needed practice, skill, and power to manipulate items through telekinesis, right?” he asks, and Rey nods, remembering this conversation from the day before. “Well, I should’ve added that the range, accuracy, and intensity of the manipulation can be affected by the mindset and emotions of the Force-user. When you were interacting with the Force just now, you laid yourself bare, open to everything.”

“I felt you,” Rey whispers. “You were my sun.”

Ben grins, dimples forming. “Good. That’s good.” He takes her hands in his, turning her palms up, and Rey sees tiny cuts in her skin from the small pebbles on the stone. “You caused a bit of a shockwave just now. Raw, seismic energy. No wonder the mountain was so affected. I’m sure there are quite a few agitated porgs down below.”

“Porgs?”

“Oh, those weird pudgy birds that are everywhere.”

_“Porgs?”_

“Yeah,” Ben says, with a laugh. “I had to look it up on a holocron, but it’s true. A group of them is called a murder.”

Rey laughs. “No way!”

“I’m serious. It’s on the official galactic zoological record.”

Rey laughs again, loudly, trying to picture the odd, annoying little birds called a _murder._ She wonders who coined that name, if it were perhaps an irritated Jedi just before he set out to teach the birds a lesson for their unending noises.

Ben watches her, with a soft, kind smile. He drops one of her hands to reach forward, and wrap a hand around her cheek.

“There you are,” he says, softly. “You’re okay.”

“What am I going to do?” Rey asks, turning her gaze down, avoiding Ben’s gentle eyes. She wishes she does not sound as dejected as she does, as she feels. Ben’s warmth and kindness is welcome, of course; but the rejection by Luke, Jedi Master, galactic hero and sage… It stings.

“Luke promised you three lessons,” Ben says. “So you’ll get three lessons from him. But in the meantime… I’d like to try and teach you, too.”

She looks back up, startled.

_“Really?”_

Ben shrugs, a soft flush forming on his cheeks. “Yeah. If that’s okay with you.”

“Yes!” Rey exclaims. “Of course it is, yes, please, I would _love_ to learn from you--”

She leans forward, practically tackling Ben in an enthusiastic hug, throwing herself onto him. He catches her weight, huffing a little, but laughing underneath her.

“Great, I appreciate your energy,” he says. He runs a gentle hand over her head, his fingers brushing through the three buns her hair’s coiled in. She notices then that Ben still has the Alderaanian mourning braid Leia had done for him in his own dark hair. She wonders when he’ll unravel it.

“But, uh, first,” Ben continues. “Can we get off this ledge? It’s making me a little nervous.”

Rey grins.

This is pure Ben; generous, sympathetic, and careful.

* * *

“Okay, so. Here’s what I think.”

The two of them are seated on the green hillside, a bit away from the village, closer to the library and the old tree, yet not so close that they can hear the chanting. Ben had already visited the tree, to collect a few of the ancient texts there; he has one of them propped open next to him, and is half leaned over it, frowning as he studies the page.

Rey smiles at the sight. To know Ben is a _nerd;_ it’s filling her with a friendly delight.

“The goal of Luke’s lessons seems to be to explain why the Jedi need to end,” Ben says. “That’s his agenda. But that isn’t mine. My goal is to help you learn balance; to interact positively with the Force, to achieve serenity and peace, and to walk in the Light.”

Rey nods. “I want those things too.”

“Good. Glad we’ve got that sorted out. So what I want to start with is teaching you control, since it seems to be the main thing you and Luke are concerned about when it comes to your abilities. The Jedi organized aspects of control into three categories: _tutaminis, curato salva,_ and _altus sopor.”_

 _“Tutaminis,”_ Rey repeats. _“Curato salva. Altus sopor._ What do they mean?”

 _“Tutaminis_ is related to energy absorption,” Ben explains. “It’s the idea that through the Force, we can draw potentially harmful heat or electrical energy into ourselves without causing harm. An application of _tutaminis_ would be the ability to take in blaster fire without hurting oneself, and… regurgitating it into lightning. That’s a pretty extreme example though. A more common skill would be using energy to shield your body from attack.”

“Okay,” Rey says. _“Tutaminis._ Energy absorption. Can _you_ use it?”

Ben smiles. “Yeah. You could shoot a blaster at me, and I would block it with my hand.”

Rey stares. “Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, it took years for me to get there, and it’s been a while since I did it, but I could probably still do it.”

“Pardon me if I’m not keen on testing you, Ben.”

“I appreciate it,” Ben says, and Rey laughs. “Okay. _Curato salva.”_

 _“Curato salva,”_ Rey echoes.

“A class of Force abilities centered on self-healing,” Ben says. “It’s an inherent ability of Light-side Force users. With these Control powers, you can use the Force to stay fit, extend your lifespan by staving off decay, and rid yourself of poison or disease.”

“That sounds like a lot,” Rey says, frowning.

Energy absorption had already sounded daunting, but in an abstract way; something so extreme she can’t imagine herself being able to do it. Self-healing is a whole other thing. She can’t help but think of the sunburns she endured on Jakku, the throbbing pain she’d experience after accidentally cutting herself on duraplast in the desert, that time she fell and twisted her ankle in the sand. If she had been able to heal herself then… 

“How do I do it?” Rey asks.

“Concentration,” Ben says, at once. “Start small, and work your way up. Practice.”

He takes her hand, turning her palm, the shallow cuts up to the sky.

“Close your eyes,” he murmurs, and Rey does so immediately. He takes her other hand, moving it so it hovers half a foot above her cuts. “And reach _in._ Pull into yourself, to where the Force lives in your veins. Think of the tears in your skin. Think of your blood spilling. And now… _Fix it.”_

 _Reach in,_ Rey thinks.

In her sternum, in her heart, she feels it. That well of brilliant light. The elemental, ancient, cosmos that enrich her, sustain her.

“Heal,” she whispers.

“Rey. Open your eyes.”

She does, and gasps.

A soft, blue light is emitting from her palm, shimmering down onto her torn skin of the palm underneath. As she watches, the light enters the thin cuts, and they glow softly; and then her skin knits together, until all of the cuts on her hand have vanished, and the blue light disappears.

Rey lifts her hand up to her face. It is unblemished, unbroken; like it had never happened.

“Perfect,” Ben breathes. “Rey, that was _incredible.”_

“I can’t believe I did that,” Rey says.

She is filled with a wild, rabid, joy. Like she has been living her life as multiple separate pieces, a poor composite sketch of a human, and has now been offered a glimpse of what it all means, and what she is really meant to be. She is so hungry for even more.

“ _Altus sopor,”_ Rey prompts.

“This one is even more basic,” Ben says. “It’s the ability to increase your focus on the Force, to the point that you can merge into the Force so completely you become practically invisible.”

Rey’s eyes widen. Ben nods.

“Not even Master Skywalker can do it,” he says, and Rey wonders if he registers his use of the honorific regarding the man he’s so frequently referred to by his first name only. “He suspects it’s a skill that’s been lost with the fall of the Jedi Order. But that doesn’t mean we can’t learn it eventually. It’ll just take a lot of meditation, and patience.”

“You said that,” Rey says. “How you want to continue to learn, and grow.”

“I mean that,” Ben says, firm. “We can all always grow, and improve.”

“You must have been a good student.”

Ben’s smile is wry. “We were. Both Bail and me, I mean.”

He does that a lot, she notes. When he talks about himself, and his training, and his way of interacting with the Force, he slips into the pronoun _we._ Him and Bail, inextricable, one. She thinks of Ben describing people as thinking of him and Bail as a single being, and wonders if part of Ben does the same.

“We tested each other, challenged each other, constantly,” Ben continues. “If I could do something, he wouldn’t rest until he could; and vice versa. I am only the Jedi I am today because of him.”

He stops talking, something shuttering in his eyes.

Rey suspects the flipside holds true, too.

_Kylo is only the Knight of Ren he is today because of Ben._

Ben gathers himself together.

“There is an aspect of _altus sopor_ I desperately need to perfect,” he says. “Force Concealment. To mask my presence from other Force-users.”

“Oh,” Rey breathes, understanding. “So you don’t have to close yourself off from the Force again?”

Ben nods. “Force Concealment wasn’t something I’d fully mastered before it… It happened. Somewhat ironically, but I never imagined I’d need it.”

Rey isn’t sure _ironic_ is the word she would use; more like _tragic._

“I knew it would be safer to remove myself from the Force entirely than to attempt to mask myself, knowing I could fail otherwise. But now…” Ben raises his arms, gesturing around them. “Do you feel this, Rey? _Everything?_ Can you imagine tearing yourself away from it? How wrong, how awful that would feel?”

“I can’t imagine,” Rey murmurs.

 _But Luke has,_ she thinks. _He still is._

_Why?_

“I’m not doing that again,” Ben says, decisive. “I can’t. So I have to learn how to mask my presence, so… so Kylo can’t find me.”

It costs him to say that name, she knows.

“Okay,” Rey says. “Can I help?”

Ben smiles. “Yes. Please. It’ll be a good exercise for you, too, seeing how well and far you can sense other people.”

It is a kind, giving notion. It is clear to Rey that Ben is taking her training very seriously, putting it before his own goals, their however limited time with Luke on the island. She thinks of Luke’s words about Ben the day before:

_“Ben is looking for answers, and closure, and absolution.”_

Rey knows that Ben holds a tremendous amount of pain over the loss of Bail. But she doesn’t quite understand why he seeks absolution for it.

 _I want to help you, too,_ Rey thinks, looking into Ben’s dark eyes.

Even under the sun, he glows, like there is a whole other light shining from under his skin.

“We should think about working on your Force healing more,” Ben says. “It’s an incredibly important skill to have. It’s tricky though, because obviously we shouldn’t injure you for you to work on it…”

“I’d rather not,” Rey confirms.

“Hell, I guess we can kill two womp-rats with one stone,” Ben muses. “You can try and shoot me, and we’ll find out if I can deflect it, and if not, if you can fix a blaster hole in my chest.”

Rey blanches, and Ben laughs.

“We can start smaller, too,” he says. “Make it a dagger, and a slash to my face.”

She tries and fails to crack a smile.

She knows what Ben looks like with a slash to his face.

Somewhere in the galaxy, Kylo Ren is having his face knit back together since she carved it up. She has not told Ben this, has not told him much of their duel in the woods, of what happened. He only knows she won.

Ben frowns at her. “What’s wrong? Too grim?”

“I don’t want to think about you getting hurt,” Rey mumbles.

He reaches forward, and takes her recently healed hand in his, lifting it to his face. He presses a soft kiss to her palm, where the pebbles had cut into her earlier.

“There is no pain,” he whispers into her skin. “There is grace.”

_There is no pain, there is grace._

She wonders if this is also a line of the Jedi Code, one that the voices at the tree might whisper.

 _But I have felt pain,_ Rey thinks.

Her terrible screams, a ship disappearing into the Jakku sky. Her quivering stomach, hunched over a near empty portion packet. Her hollow shock, holding a single gold die in her palm. Her abject despair, as a red lightsaber cleaves a mentor through.

“Hey.”

She looks up.

Ben is studying her. He has one hand cupped around the back of her neck, and has moved closer to her. The text behind him has been blown closed by the wind.

“Where did you go?” he asks.

She shakes her head. “Nowhere. I’m right here.”

On this island. In this field.

Next to Ben.

“Stay with me,” Ben says, quietly, something vulnerable in his voice.

 _You have felt pain, too,_ Rey thinks.

She cannot imagine it; the loss of the Force, of the feeling of everything around you.

And the loss of a twin brother, a best friend, an other half.

She shuffles up to rest on her knees, Ben leaning back, letting her go. This time, she puts her hands on his face, as he looks up at her with something wary, something hesitant, something hopeful.

“You aren’t alone,” Rey tells him.

_There is no pain, there is grace._

Unfortunately, her kiss lacks any grace or finesse. But as Ben presses close, arms winding around her back, a hand reaching for her hair, her neck; as he pulls her forward, crushing her to him, so she loses track of where she ends and he begins; she thinks he doesn’t really mind.

* * *

A light rain begins to fall that evening.

Ben sits in the cockpit of the _Millennium Falcon,_ frowning deeply at the comm. Rey leans behind him, hands on his shoulders, the both of them listening and waiting.

“Still nothing?” she asks.

They had sent a message to the Resistance, to tell Leia they had reached the island safely, the day before; to no response. Neither of them had thought much of it; Leia was busy, and the Resistance was set to pack up and depart D’Qar any day now. But the lack of communication is still troubling.

Rey knows that after not hearing from her son for six years, Leia is determined to remain in touch.

She looks at the binary beacon, hanging from the ceiling of the _Falcon’s_ cockpit. The steady beat of its signal, indicating it is working, will have to be a comfort.

“No,” Ben confirms. “Maybe we’ve caught them at a bad time; mid-travel, or something.”

“Maybe,” Rey murmurs.

“I’ll keep at it. Not only do I want to reach my mother, but I’d like to hear how Finn is doing.”

Rey nods into his hair. “Me too.”

Finn had still been unconscious when they left, recovering from the devastating damage done to him by Kylo Ren and his lightsaber. Ben had left him instructions on how to reach them via the _Falcon,_ with a reminder that if he was interested, Finn was welcome to join them, and train as a Jedi as well.

Rey doesn’t know if Finn will take them up on this. According to Ben, there is something off about Finn’s connection to the Force; unlike her, all raw and blistering energy, Finn is muted.

Privately, she wonders if it has to do with his past as a stormtrooper.

Shaking her head, she straightens, squeezing Ben’s shoulders.

“They’ll comm us when they can,” she says, firmly. “Let’s not worry too much just yet.”

“Easy for you to say.”

 _“Kriff,_ you must have driven your poor parents mad with your constant anxiety.”

Ben laughs. “Hey, I was a delightful child.”

“Whatever you say, Limbs.”

“I regret telling you that,” Ben says, flushing a little at the reminder of his childhood nickname. She can imagine that Ben, while used to his height now, might have struggled a bit with his growth as a child. It’s a cute thought. She kisses the top of his head as affirmation.

She leaves Ben in the _Falcon,_ walking outside.

The rain is falling heavily, and Rey can’t help but grin at the sight. She’s never seen a downpour like this before in her life; rain on Jakku was nonexistent. This is a veritable storm, the waves slamming on the shore below her, the wind gusting overhead, a hint of lightning on the horizon. She stays under the _Falcon’s_ structure, but can’t help but stretch forward to where water is cascading down the ship’s sides, to feel it fall into her open palm.

And then everything becomes absolutely silent.

No rain, no wind, no thunder, no waves.

She grits her teeth, and turns.

Kylo stands in front of her. He looks the same as last time, the cut on his face red and blistering.

They stare at each other.

“Why is the Force connecting us?” he asks. “You and I.”

“Murderous snake!” Rey spits.

He looks distinctly unimpressed with her accusation.

“You’re too late,” Rey continues, vehement. “You’ve lost. I found Skywalker… _Ben,_ and I, found Skywalker.”

Again, that strange shift in Kylo’s face when she mentions Ben.

“Ben doesn’t need Skywalker,” he says, and briefly, Rey wonders if it pains him to say his brother’s name as much as it pains Ben to say Kylo. “He’s already a Jedi, and an excellent one at that. There is nothing more for Luke to teach him; he’ll only hold him back. Ben needs a real teacher, one who won’t hesitate when it comes to true power, one who will--”

“Torture him?” Rey snaps. “Like you did?”

Kylo grits his teeth. He looks away from her.

 _Regretful?_ Rey wonders.

_There is no pain, there is grace._

“Ben has always been too cautious,” Kylo snaps. “He needs to learn how to let go, and become the man he was always meant to be. Unafraid, ruthless, and _the very best.”_

“No,” Rey breathes.

Briefly, she imagines Ben dressed in black robes. Ben, wielding a red lightsaber. Ben, with hatred and rage in his eyes. Ben, his warmth shriveled up, turned deathly cold.

Like his twin.

“Did Luke tell you what happened?” Kylo asks, abruptly. “The night I destroyed his Temple? Did he tell you _why?_ Even Ben doesn’t know the whole story.”

Rey shakes her head, even as the curiosity gnaws at her.

Kylo doesn’t need to know she has been wondering what happened, too. That Luke and Ben have been similarly unforthcoming.

“I know everything I need to know about you,” Rey says.

Kylo is walking forward now. Moving closer to her. Rey forces herself to remain still, to hold her ground, to not break eye contact.

He lowers his head a little, to look into her eyes.

When Ben does this, it is always to hear her better, to understand her better, what she needs, what she wants.

When Kylo does it, it is to reach inside her, to steal her thoughts, to pick at whatever primal reaction she is having while staring down a murderer.

“Ah,” Kylo murmurs. “You do. You have that look in your eyes. From the forest.”

 _What look?_ Rey wonders. Determination, dismay?

Fury?

“When you called me a monster,” Kylo finishes. Fury it is.

“You _are_ a monster,” Rey spits.

He steps even closer. Wherever he is is poorly lit; uneven shadows play across his face, heightening his scar, the curve of his cheekbones, the dark hair that is discomfitingly close to being the exact same length and style as Ben’s.

“Yes I am,” Kylo whispers, a hint of a dark smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

She holds his gaze.

And then he’s gone.

Rey blinks into empty space, only the wild sea in front of her now. A wave crashes on the shore, sending salt water flying into the air.

 _Well,_ she thinks. _This might be a problem._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About the dyad thing: I have no plans to work that into this story/series, at least not as something between Rey and Kylo/Bail. No promises on possible other dyad(s).
> 
> Taking some liberties with the timeline of TLJ, and making the argument that time on Ahch-To passes differently than the rest of the galaxy. This allows me to extend the time spent on this island.
> 
> The pillars of Control Ben teaches to Rey are all described in "The Jedi Path", which I borrowed liberally from here.


	3. Juyo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I wondered... Why wasn't it me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've upped the chapter count of this story as Chapter 10 kind of got away from me, LOL.

“Are you sure you don’t need any more help?”

Ben asks this to Rey’s midriff. She is half submerged into the _Millennium Falcon,_ working quite loudly on the jammed gunner. Ben’s only involvement in this process so far has been giving Rey a boost to get in, and then passing her tools as she asked for them.

“Yep,” Rey replies, voice slightly muffled either by a tool she’s holding between her teeth, or the fact that she’s buried her top half into the bowels of the ship. “Go do something useful.”

Ben laughs. “I thought I was being useful?”

“Well, you were, but now you’re just bothering me.”

“Okay, okay,” Ben says, lifting his hands in a placating gesture, even though Rey can’t see it. “Hey, while you’re in there, try and get into a state of Moving Meditation.”

“Oh.” Rey pauses. “That is a good idea.”

Ben rolls his eyes. “I’ve been known to have them every now and then. And why would Moving Meditation help you in this situation?”

“It’s an awake state,” Rey says, grunting a little as she heaves something inside. Ben winces at the sound of scratching metal. “It’ll help me reduce any feelings of distraction and increase my focus. Which will help me get this kriffed switch back into place.”

“Exactly,” Ben says, pleased with Rey’s understanding. “I’ll head up and see if Luke’s feeling like giving you your second lesson this afternoon.”

It’s been three days since Luke gave Rey the first lesson, about the Force, and how it does not belong to the Jedi. Luke has largely spent those days avoiding Ben and Rey, though Ben has spotted him watching them a few times.

He supposes Luke wants to keep an eye on how Ben himself is training Rey.

After going through the classes of Control, they’ve moved on to the pillar of Self-Discipline. This has involved a lot of work on meditation, which Rey has, unsurprisingly, found more difficult than any of her attempts at manipulating the Force directly. Ben has walked her through Empty Meditation, getting Rey to clear her mind completely, and Moving Meditation, which she’s much better at. They’ve traveled around the island to do it; from the village, to the Temple, to the cove, to the saddle of the island. 

In the saddle, he’d introduced Rey to Rising Meditation. It had been a state he’d found remarkably easy for him to slip back into, the Force curving around him like a warm blanket. Rey’s gasp as he’d actually left the ground had been similarly satisfying.

She is now able to levitate about a foot off the ground, and Ben is sure she’ll only get higher with practice.

Now, Ben walks up the stone stairs towards the village.

There is definitely something unique about the island that Ben hasn’t felt before. He hasn’t gotten a chance to explore it too thoroughly; if there is something unknown, he doesn’t want to expose Rey to it just yet, as new and inexperienced as she is.

He thinks about asking Luke about it, what he knows of this place.

It doesn’t seem like a terribly big thing to ask his Master about.

He is somewhat surprised to find Luke in the village, sitting near the fire pit, mending one of his coats.

Ben wanders over. “May I join you?”

Luke studies him. “Of course.”

Ben sits, and watches Luke work for a moment. He suddenly wishes he had something to do with his hands, too.

“You’re doing well,” Luke says, breaking the silence.

Ben looks at him. “At what?”

“Teaching Rey,” Luke replies, gaze still down at his stitching. “I’ve seen you two around the island. Rey ran at Force sprint the other day, and stood in the Center of Being stance with the lightsaber.”

He says _the lightsaber_ as if it was not once _his_ lightsaber.

“And I saw her looking for you,” Luke continues. “But having a hard time with it. Which is strange, since she was only blindfolded, and you were right in the village.”

“That was more for me than her,” Ben admits.

Luke shakes his head. “No. She should experience what it’s like to deal with someone using Force Concealment. And it is not a bad thing for you to have someone check on how strong your Concealment really is.”

“I’d ask you, but you’re busy very much _not_ being involved in the Force.”

Though Ben started that sentence cool, he ends it with an edge of anger.

Luke sets down his needle.

“You and Rey are very close,” he says, unexpectedly.

Briefly, Ben wonders exactly what Luke has seen when he said he’d seen them around the island. Just as quickly, Ben decides it isn’t something they need to talk about.

“Yes,” he says, instead. Simply. “Are you going to give me a lecture about attachment? Because I’ve heard that one before.”

“I suppose I never did give you one on _romantic_ attachment.”

Ben has not looked at Luke once during this change of topic, and he keeps his gaze away still, staring out over the endless sea.

“You can give me one now, if you’d like,” Ben murmurs, “But since you’ve abdicated your role as Grand Master, forgive me if I don’t even give it a moment’s consideration.”

To his surprise, Luke _laughs._ It is enough to make Ben look at him.

Luke’s eyes are twinkling.

“You’re finally questioning things,” he says, and Ben realizes that Luke wasn’t actually planning to guilt Ben about his relationship with Rey. He was only testing Ben, to see how far he could push him.

It is the kind of thing Luke had done to him when he was an apprentice. Encouraging him to think for himself, to understand why things were as they were. This was never something Bail struggled with; if anything, he questioned too many things. It was Ben who internalized every little thing, who was quick to take the word of Luke as fact.

 _Is this who I am,_ he wonders, _without my brother? Unconsciously doing the things he would do, now that he isn’t here to do them?_

He is filled at once with grief.

“I walked past Rey in the cove yesterday,” Luke says, suddenly. “She was in Rising Meditation, and reciting the Code to herself. But she said something I hadn’t heard before.” He looks at Ben. _“‘There is no pain, there is grace.’”_

Ben twists his lips, nodding once.

“Where did you hear that?” Luke asks.

“In a Force vision,” Ben whispers. “When I was sixteen.”

“You never told me about it. What made this one different from the other ones you had?”

The other ones; the _worse_ ones, the truly horrible, terrifying ones.

Ben swallows. “It didn’t seem like anything too important. I was watching myself from above. I was standing on a black floor, in a red room. My lightsaber was in my hand, and I was holding it out. There was a scar running over the right side of my face.”

The scar had really been the most disturbing part of the vision. It had seemed to Ben like it’d been left there by a lightsaber.

“And I heard my own voice, though I didn’t seem to be speaking aloud,” Ben continues. “But that’s not uncommon with visions. And I said it. _There is no pain, there is grace._ And I watched as my own shoulders slumped, as I relaxed. It was clearly something I needed to hear in that moment.” Ben shrugs. “I forgot about that vision until the other day, when Rey…”

He trails off.

Luke prompts him. “When Rey…?”

“She told me she didn’t want to think about me getting hurt,” Ben murmurs.

“She is afraid for you.”

Ben looks at Luke. Luke’s gentle inquisition has vanished; he is guarded again, and wary.

“That is why the Jedi were so rigid about emotional attachment,” Luke says. “Rather than put an emphasis on all before the individual, attachment forces one to think of only some. That is detrimental to the Jedi Way, which teaches we are all part of something so much bigger than ourselves.”

“I know that.”

“Does Rey?”

Ben looks away.

“I don’t know how to… teach her this,” Ben says, slowly, “Because I don’t shun emotional attachments. I have always been close to you, and to my parents. Reaching out for my mother when I seek her comfort still feels like the most natural thing in the universe.”

_Hello, my love. I’m your mother._

“And with Bail…” And here, Luke stiffens, but Ben continues. “You couldn’t ask me to break off my bond with Bail, anymore than I’d ask you to sever your bond with my mother. You know how it feels to have a bond with a twin. My connection to Bail has always been just as important to me as my own connection to the Force.”

_You and me._

“And that is why you cut yourself off from the Force,” Luke murmurs, but he is gentle again. “To lose Bail was to lose the Force.”

“I was so alone,” Ben whispers.

Those dark, cold nights alone in deep space, no friends, no company at all. He would go weeks without speaking. Lonely evenings in ugly and dangerous bars, keeping to himself, at a table near the door, an open escape route at the ready. A gaping abyss in his body, walking around feeling like his heart had been torn out.

It is not a life Ben can ever return to.

It nearly killed him, living like that.

“Where is Rey’s family?” Luke asks.

Ben shakes his head. “She doesn’t know. They left her on Jakku when she was very young. We took a blood sample from her at the base. Mom was going to get it run through the Republic’s databases, to see if there was a hit of some kind; a familial genetic connection, or at least an indication of which system she came from.”

“Orphans were once ideal Jedi initiates,” Luke muses. “It was thought to be easy to teach them to shun emotional attachment, since they’d never had any before.”

“Rey isn’t like that.”

“No,” Luke agrees. “If anything, she is the opposite. She finally has someone who cares for her. She won’t let that go easily.” Luke’s eyes slide to him. “And somehow, I don’t think you would let her go easily, either.”

If Ben were a better Jedi, a better man; he’d understand the danger of this.

But he’s already lost the person he loved more than anyone else.

“There is no death,” Ben murmurs, “There is the Force.”

Luke eyes him.

“Sometimes, it’s easier to lose the people we love to death,” he says. “That way, we know they could come back, in some form, in another life. It’s losing people in life that is harder. To know they could come back, but won’t.”

In his worst memory, Ben hears Bail’s voice.

_“Come with me,” Bail says. “Ben, come with me.”_

“You don’t have to tell me that,” Ben says to Luke now.

Luke offers him a small, sympathetic smile.

“No,” he says. “I think I do.”

* * *

When Rey arrives in the village, it is to find Ben, sitting in silence, meditating.

He can sense her easily; her brilliant starlight, hesitating on the stone steps, torn between going to him and leaving him be. He decides to make the choice for her.

“Is the gunner fixed?” he asks, eyes still closed.

“Good as new,” Rey confirms, walking to stand beside him. He can feel her frowning down at him. “Or, as good as new as anything can be on that ship.”

Ben smiles. “Sounds about right.”

“Where’s Luke? Am I getting his second lesson today?”

“No,” Ben murmurs. “But he’s given me some things to think about.”

“Oh? Like what?”

Bail, and the tremendous loss of him. Leia, and her unending devotion.

Force visions, and his wildly different reactions to the ones he’s seen.

Rey, and the potential devastation of her departure.

Ben opens his eyes.

“I’ll tell you once I’ve sorted it out myself,” he says, getting to his feet. Rey studies him as he moves, and he knows he hasn’t quite convinced her of that. “For now, you should finish fixing your hut.”

“Thrilling,” Rey says, but she marches over to her hut. She’s mostly fixed it; the larger stones are back in place, carefully returned there by Rey and her use of a spade and silt, under the judgmental eyes of the ever-present island caretakers. Ben thinks they’re slowly coming around to them, and their presence here.

He wonders if it’s strange for them, having Jedi back on this island, after being gone so long.

Rey kneels down on the rocky ground, and reaches for one of the smaller lingering pieces of wall.

“No, no,” Ben interrupts, seizing her wrist and stopping her.

Rey frowns at him. “What?”

“Forget your physical tools,” he tells her. “And use the Force.”

“Really?” She looks down, at the remaining rocks around her. They are all quite small, meant to fill in the minute and tiny gaps left in the wall. “The bigger stones would’ve been harder to lift.”

“Not necessarily,” Ben replies. “Fitting in these little rocks is going to require concentration. Precision.”

She bites her lip, settling back more comfortably on her ankles. Ben takes a step back, giving her breathing room to work. She closes her eyes.

It’s a pleasant experience, Ben has learned, to be able to watch Rey interact with the Force.

On the island, she is becoming the picture of serenity, more and more by the day. With her eyes closed, mouth parted, loose tendrils of hair blowing softly around her face, she looks like she was always meant to be here, in this space. A Jedi.

The little rocks rise off the ground around her, cycling around her head like a strange kind of halo.

As he watches, they move, one by one, into their designated spaces. Some of them require more effort to fit than others, Rey’s lips pursing as she forces them to wiggle into cramped openings. More than once, her nose actually scrunches up with the effort, and it is enough to make Ben smile.

With his arms crossed over his chest, he rests his chin in one hand, as the wall is slowly filled.

When the last rock has been placed, Rey loudly exhales, and opens her eyes.

Ben reaches forward, patting the wall. It’s firm, and stable.

Rey practically _cackles._

“Is it weird,” she wonders, “That I found that to be easier than I would have if I’d put them all in by hand?”

“Not at all,” Ben says. “It means you are properly connecting to the Force. Working together, and closely at that.”

 _“Wow,”_ Rey breathes, not so much saying the word as mouthing it.

Ben can easily feel the delight, enthusiasm, and _hunger_ exuding from her. He decides to embrace it.

“Your choice,” he says, and Rey looks up at him. “What do you want to do next?”

Her answer is immediate, and it makes him wonder how long she’s been waiting for this:

“I want to spar with you again.”

* * *

They go to the flattest part of the island; a long strip of uninterrupted black rock, near the sea’s edge.

“When it comes to dueling, you’ve had a very different learning experience than I did,” Ben says, standing across from Rey. She holds the Skywalker lightsaber tight in one hand, clearly anticipating him to unexpectedly come at her with his. “I spent well over a year with a training lightsaber before graduating to an actual one. And I spent time perfecting the first Form before I moved on to any others. With you, you’re kind of all over the map when it comes to Forms.”

“Is that bad?”

“Not at all,” Ben says, shaking his head. “But exploring and perfecting your own style would have come much later in your training as a Jedi. So I’ll have to cheat a bit here, and make it up as we go, in terms of figuring out what you need to work on and what we should leave alone. You’ve spent a lot of time using and fighting with a staff, which isn’t too dissimilar to the weapon you wield now.”

Rey nods. She’s started hopping up and down a bit; Ben isn’t even sure she realizes she’s doing it.

He smiles reflexively.

She is eager for a fight. And he is, too.

“Before we start,” he says, “The Jedi have a word for calling an end to a fight. _Solah.”_

 _“Solah,”_ Rey repeats.

“When you hear it, you immediately back down and stop your attack. It means your opponent has conceded.”

“It’s nice of you to tell me, so I’ll understand what it means when you say it.”

Ben barks a surprised laugh. “Really? That’s how you think this will go?”

Rey’s grin is wide and manic. She is pure, spitting energy. 

As an answer, she switches her lightsaber on, moving easily into an opening stance, standing with her blade slashed diagonally in front of her. He recognizes it as the one he stood in, when they faced each other on Takodana, sparring with a training rod and her staff.

It’s good to know she’d been paying careful attention during their sparring match.

He turns his own lightsaber on.

The sight of the dark blue blade, the sound of that familiar ringing hum; it _changes_ something in him. It centers him, and sends the Force ringing around him, a grounding soundtrack to his every move. He wonders if Rey can hear it, too. He spins the hilt around in his hand languidly.

He shrugs his shoulders, holding her gaze.

_Your move, Rey._

She charges him.

* * *

As in all things, including dueling, Ben has spent the vast majority of his time with Bail.

They were the best at pushing one another, at challenging one another. While Luke worked with the other apprentices, offering wisdom, showing them different stances and positions, Bail and Ben were already deep into their own duel. They were a whirlwind of blue fire, identical blades, identical boys. Being able to sense someone so intimately became both an aide and a curse; it was impossible to surprise your opponent, but easy to know how they might slip up.

Bail and Ben were always diligent about their training. Bail would study Makashi, while Ben would learn Soresu, and then they would spend months trading knowledge, walking through the stances and steps, until they’d successfully taught the other the new Form to perfection. When it came to Ataru, and the frantic, kinetic moves it required, they’d create their own dangerous training courses in the jungles of Devaron, moving with the mantra of _higher, faster, stronger, better._ For Djem so, and its inherent violence, demanding dominance, the twins were constantly working to overpower the other.

There was no one Ben wished to impress more than his own brother.

And vice versa.

Rey is a different duelist than Bail.

She relies on her instincts more than anything else, and though Ben knows this is in part due to her lack of any classical lightsaber training, that another part of it is Rey’s outstanding innate connection with the Force. She is smaller than Bail and Ben, and Ben is constantly adjusting his movements to accommodate her space.

Of all his dueling partners over the years, she reminds him most of Vesper, now called Celosia Ren. Part of it is due to their similar size, but another aspect of it is their similar determination to be a masterful duelist.

It was well-understood that none of the apprentices could best Bail or Ben. But if anyone was going to; it would be Vesper.

Or, now; Rey.

Unfortunately for Rey, that day is not today.

When he forces Rey to step off-balance, Ben turns, spinning fast on the spot, and a quick sun djem jab causes Rey to lose her grip on her lightsaber. It flies into the air, and Ben catches it, now holding a blade in each hand.

Rey scowls at him, panting a little.

He raises an eyebrow. “Well?”

 _“Solah,”_ Rey says with a sigh. “Ugh.”

“You’re very good, Rey,” Ben says, powering the lightsabers down. “You just haven’t been training at this as long as I have. You’ll be mastering all of this in no time, with practice and patience. And don’t forget; you bested my brother on Ilum. Even with him injured, that’s a really impressive feat.”

He expects his comment to cause Rey to smile, as it’s obvious, admiring praise.

Instead, her face slackens, eyes briefly flickering down.

“What is it?” Ben asks.

“Did you…” She pauses. “There. On Ilum, in the snow. Did you still look at him, and think of him, as your brother?”

The unspoken question: _After he killed your father?_

The agony of witnessing that act has been seared into Ben’s brain. He will never forget it. It tore something in him, dislodged something, a rib or a lung or a piece of his soul.

And yet.

“Most days, I wish I didn’t,” Ben admits. “I wish I could separate Bail from Kylo. Sometimes, I think I can. When I think of that wretched mask, when I think of him standing over me and invading my mind, unearthing my worst memory.”

The night when the Temple burned, and his friends lay dead all around him.

The night Bail left him.

“We wear the same face,” Ben murmurs. “I am his brother, and he is mine. Blood brothers; quite literally, and in Knighthood.” Ben shrugs, offering Rey a grim smile. “We have a very complicated relationship.”

“I’ll say.”

Both Rey and Ben jump, turning to peer up at the top of the rock wall next to them.

Luke is perched there, studying them from above.

“How long have you been there?” Rey demands.

“Since Ben told you what _solah_ means, and you boasted you wouldn’t need it. Not very becoming of a Jedi.”

Rey flushes. Ben sighs. She doesn’t deserve Luke’s condescension.

“She is hardly the first student to feel invigorated by their own talent,” Ben snaps.

“Oh, I know,” Luke agrees. “Bail was also quite like that.”

Rey’s mouth drops.

Ben’s blood boils.

The comparison is an ugly one, and Rey _definitely_ doesn’t deserve it. Not with all her sure light. Not with her inherent kindness.

If Bail was ever something: it was not kind.

Luke makes his way carefully down the hillside, until he’s joined them on the plateau. He stands in front of Ben, eyebrow cocked pointedly.

“Your anger is all over your face,” Luke says. “You are all too eager for a real fight. You’ve been ready for days; years, I would guess.”

“Are you offering?” Ben asks, close to a snarl.

In response, Luke closes his eyes.

He slips into the Force, smoothly, quietly, softly. Like a tired person might lie down on a soft bed. Like an experienced diver might disappear into calm water with barely a splash. Ben feels him for only a moment, before he blinks, and Luke is gone.

“You’ve been working on your own Force Concealment,” Luke notes. “Now duel with a Force-user applying their own.”

Before he can overthink it, Ben tosses the Skywalker lightsaber to him.

This time, when Luke takes it, he turns it on.

“I won’t hold back,” Ben says, as Rey takes a few quick steps, backing away from them. “You’re right. I have been waiting for this.”

 _Grief, and rage, and sorrow, and confusion, and fear._ Emotions Ben has felt so often, so keenly, since that night. Since they got to the island and Luke rejected Rey, and Ben, too.

In response, Luke shrugs his shoulders.

The same gesture Ben had made to signal to Rey that they could begin.

Ben’s lightsaber powers on, and he runs at his Master.

* * *

To pass the Trials, to become a Jedi Knight, you had to defeat Luke Skywalker in a one-on-one duel.

In the Old Jedi Order, it would be a Jedi classified as a Master Swordsman who would hold this challenge. But with no other Masters, it was left solely to Luke.

When Bail and Ben underwent the Trials, Luke enforced a month’s break between their separate Trials of Skill. Because Luke knew that it was he who would need the break; the time to recover from dueling one twin, before taking on that twin’s equal.

It has been many years since Ben dueled Luke.

But he has not forgotten that for his age, his gray hair, his seeming weariness, Luke is a formidable swordsman.

He is light on his feet, deceptively quick. He has wielded a lightsaber for longer than Ben has been alive. He has lost his dominant hand to a lightsaber strike, but designed for himself a robotic hand that does the job just fine. Luke knows true physical pain and the power of endurance. 

When it comes down to it: the best qualities of Bail and Ben Organa-Solo belong to Luke Skywalker.

There is a reason Luke is a galactic legend.

He’s powerful.

This is a real fight.

Ben meets it wholeheartedly, giving himself over to the Force, acting as an extension of it, its sword and shield. He is taller and bigger now than when he’d fought Luke during his Trial, and he focuses on using these differences as strengths.

Every now and then, Ben catches a glimpse of white and brown out of the corner of his eye, and knows Rey is watching intently. He wonders what she sees, what she feels.

The crackling power rolling off him. The determination.

The sheer _rage._

He is not, Ben knows, distantly, completely angry at Luke for his rude comments to Rey. Of course he isn’t. 

This is more. This is Ben, after long last, finally getting out some of the pain, grief, and fury he has held deep inside him since Bail fell to the Dark Side. Since Luke disappeared into the galaxy, and abandoned his sister and the Resistance, and his nephew, too. It is so much for one man to carry on his own through six years of solitude.

And Luke, Ben knows, is aware of this.

Perhaps it is a kindness to let Ben work some of it out.

Or perhaps it is only foolishness.

Because Ben _feels_ his anger turn into passion. His inner turmoil, his grief, channel into a mental forge. He is on fire. He is moving with malignant grace. He is bold and ruthless and fearless and vicious.

And Luke knows he cannot defeat Ben when he is like this. Even Luke Skywalker; he cannot defeat Ben here.

_“Solah!”_

It takes Ben a moment to understand the word.

Realization and awareness comes to him very slowly. When it does, it is to find himself standing over Luke, who at some point had fallen to the ground. Luke has lost his lightsaber during their fight, and Ben realizes his own arms are lifted, lightsaber poised to strike down, directly onto Luke.

With a soft gasp, Ben lowers his arms, and extinguishes his blade.

Luke is panting.

“Juyo,” he says.

Ben nods. Juyo. Form VII.

One Luke did not teach him.

“You and Bail must have worked hard at it,” Luke notes. “Ambitious. I can only assume it was Bail’s idea.”

“It wasn’t,” Ben murmurs.

It had been his.

Luke’s mouth drops partially in surprise.

“I suppose that does make sense,” he reflects. “Juyo requires significant internal focus, and you always did live more inside your own head than any of the other apprentices. Infinitely more so than your brother; Juyo would confound him. He’d be useless with it.”

Ben holds his gaze.

Luke is the one who breaks it, looking at someone behind Ben. He feels his skin crawl; he’d forgotten Rey was watching.

“Juyo was the most controversial of all lightsaber Forms,” Luke tells her. “For a time, it was even banned from teaching at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. It is vicious and unpredictable, and clearly goes against one of the Jedi Code’s main precepts: _There is no emotion, there is peace._ Darth Sidious himself believed it to be a Sith Form.”

Ben turns his gaze down to his feet; he doesn’t dare look at Rey.

He doesn’t want to know what her expression looks like.

Deep shame wells up in him.

“But Juyo masters do not give themselves over to emotion blindly,” Luke continues. “And it is extraordinarily clear to me that Ben Organa-Solo has the makings of a most accomplished master of Juyo.”

Ben’s head snaps back up, to Luke.

Luke holds out a hand, and Ben pulls him to his feet. His Master stares straight at him.

“You are the most controlled Jedi I’ve ever known,” Luke says. “And that includes my own Masters: Yoda, and your namesake, Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

Ben swallows, hard, at the high praise.

“Juyo is incredibly dangerous,” Luke continues. “For both the opponent and the Jedi using it. It’s the most lethal Form there is. Master Yoda himself even feared it, and he was right to. But he never saw you moving with it. I know, if he did, he would realize the true serenity that a Jedi can wield Juyo in.”

Ben has no idea what to say.

“I worried, for many years,” Luke says, “That you were simply too sensitive, too careful, to be a Jedi. The Jedi I spent years reading about, while peacekeepers, were also powerful warriors. Bail easily fit that descriptor. But you; I was unsure about you. Yet you trained hard, and you were patient, and you listened thoughtfully to everything I told you. Where Bail erred, you excelled. While he fought in fits of rage, you fought in calm silence. And I see now how that allows you to move with Juyo. And I see why I was right to never try it.”

“Why?” Ben asks, voice a whisper.

Luke’s smile is dark.

“For the same reason your mother refused to become a Jedi, to wield a lightsaber,” Luke murmurs. “When it comes to true viciousness, I have too much of my father in me.”

He picks up the Skywalker lightsaber from the stone, and Ben takes it. As it passes to Ben’s hand, he feels an airy shudder, and knows Luke has slipped out of the Force again.

Luke walks away, but pauses beside Rey, who is staring at Ben with big eyes and a stunned expression.

“Rey,” Luke says, and her eyes snap to him. “Train up. I would like to _watch_ a Juyo master rather than fight one.” He glances to Ben, before returning to Rey with, “And it would do Ben well to be defeated every now and then.”

“Yes, Master,” Rey breathes. Luke gives her a nod.

And then he pauses, halfway up the slope.

“As you know, Ben, I never knew my mother,” Luke notes. “I’ve been lucky enough, over the years, to find recordings of her, speeches she gave, work she did. She was fearless, and fierce, and a warrior in her own right, even though I am sure she never thought of herself that way, not next to her husband. And between Leia and I, we have a few scattered feelings we associate with her. We remember her as kind, but sad.”

Luke’s smile this time is warm.

“Bail has quite a lot of Anakin in him,” he tells Ben. “I always knew that. But you have a lot of Padmé. And it is truly a shame that I never considered that until now. You always surprise me, Ben.”

With that said, Luke walks away.

Ben wonders how he can feel so joyful and so bereft at the same time.

* * *

The minced nerf stew is fine.

Ben watched Rey prepare it, and tried a spoonful of it, and confirmed it was fine.

He has a full bowl next to him now, but he’s barely touched it, even though it’s fine.

He’s too caught up in his own thoughts. Stuck in his own head, as Luke put it.

Even now, he can barely read the text in front of him.

“Ben,” Rey says.

He forces himself to look up, to meet her gaze.

The two of them are in his hut. It’s pouring outside again, rendering the firepit in the middle of the village useless, so they lit the one in his hut to cook dinner over. Ben has no idea where Luke has gone; he hasn’t tried to search him out since their duel on the island’s edge.

Since Luke said all those things about him.

All those _praising_ things.

“Ben,” Rey repeats. “Are you all right?”

Her bowl of stew is empty. Instinctively, Ben offers her his full one.

She shakes her head.

“You should eat,” she says.

“I’ve never seen you turn down food before,” Ben mumbles, but sets the bowl down.

Rey’s eyes are somber. “I’ve never seen you like this.”

“Like what?”

“Undone.”

He supposes that’s a fair assessment. He looks back down at the text he’d been ostensibly reading; a Jedi wields a lightsaber on the page.

“Luke was a good teacher,” Ben murmurs. “He was patient with us. He gave us smart, detailed answers to questions we asked; and if he didn’t know the answer, he’d admit it, and disappear for a bit to look it up in some text. But he never complimented Bail or me. He complimented the other apprentices, praised them for their efforts, but never us. I think he knew that we already had an inflated sense of importance; we were his nephews. We were always going to be powerful Jedi. Even before we knew we were also the grandsons of Darth Vader.”

_“Oh.”_

Ben looks up. Rey is staring at him.

“Luke said that,” she whispers. “The first day here. He said his father took the name _Vader._ At the time I didn’t… I didn’t comprehend what that meant. But his father… Leia’s father… was Darth Vader?”

Ben thinks he probably should have told Rey this already.

He is uncomfortably reminded of the way he found out. Too late, unexpectedly, over the holonet.

_MINISTER OF DEFENSE ORGANA REVEALED TO BE DAUGHTER OF VADER._

“I can’t describe what it was like to learn the truth,” Ben says, quietly. “My family does not publicly discuss it. To know their hero is the son of its once terrorizing villain… That would shake a lot of people in the galaxy. Their faith in Luke, and the Jedi; and the rest of Luke’s family. Bail and I only found out when we were seventeen.”

Just of age.

Right before their Trials.

“That’s when Bail started to fall,” Ben whispers.

The Darkness had always been there. In both of them, but Bail especially. Ben could keep it at bay, but it was harder for Bail. Some days were worse than others.

The day they found out about Vader was a good day.

It finally gave Ben some much-needed clarity.

And it instilled in Bail a seed of purpose.

“We had always been told we were destined for greatness,” Ben says. “The Voice always told us that, year after year, and--”

“The Voice?”

_The Voice._

Ben has never told anyone of The Voice before. He’s only spoken of it with Bail, who also heard it.

But he looks at Rey now.

In the firelight, she glows. Her chestnut eyes look at him with compassion, and yearning; how badly she wants to know, to understand him. Who he is; why he is like this.

How desperate he is to have her know him.

“My whole life, I’ve had a Voice in my head,” Ben says. “Looking into me. Speaking to me. He’d come to me whenever I was sad, or confused. Whenever I felt dejected, or afraid. Basically: Whenever I was weak, he was there. And he would tell me of how much better I could be, I could _feel,_ if I gave in.”

“Gave in,” Rey echoes.

Ben nods. “Gave in to the Dark.”

Her eyes widen.

“Bail heard him, too,” Ben continues. “He was more vicious with Bail, because he knew that would cause the biggest reaction in Bail. He didn’t have to be like that with me. He knew that I would respond better to friendliness, however feigned it was. And it was truly _feigned._ He was… Terrible. He sought to corrupt us. To break us.”

_“You need to find your true power. Reach your true potential. Rise above what holds you back. And then strike!”_

“The Voice was Snoke,” he tells Rey. “But neither Bail nor I knew who that was, so we just stuck with calling him The Voice. And we kept him to ourselves. Of course we did. We knew The Voice was bad news, but we…” He shrugs, and gives Rey a sardonic kind of grin.

“The Organa-Solo Twins,” Ben drawls. “Nephews of Luke Skywalker, Grand Master Jedi. Grandsons of Anakin Skywalker, famed Jedi Knight of the Old Republic, nicknamed The Hero With No Fear. We were strong enough to handle our own issues on our own. We only needed each other.” Ben shrugs. “I am my brother’s keeper.”

_You and me._

The hubris is staggering to Ben now. They were children who had yet to understand the Force.

But Bail was determined to handle it themselves. And Ben trusted his brother above everyone else. For Bail, he shunned his careful side.

“The Vader revelation catalyzed it for me,” Ben says. “I finally understood what The Voice meant, what he was seeking, why us. The path seemed clear to me; if I just refused to become Vader, then The Voice would have no use for me, and it would go away. I told Bail this, too. I told him that we just needed to stay steady, and be ourselves. And he…”

 _“This changes everything, Ben! Think of what we could be, what we_ get _to be! The best, Ben. The_ best.”

Ben shakes his head.

“I don’t know when he made his choice,” Ben says. “I don’t know what happened to cause it. I woke up one night to the smell of smoke, and blood in puddles on the ground. I saw my brother strike down an apprentice. I watched my brother choose The Voice, choose Snoke, over me.”

It was the ultimate betrayal.

The consummate loss. The beginning of never ending grief. The pain of it reverberated endlessly, until Ben was sure he would die, certain death would be kinder than the ache. He spent six years wishing for his death, knowing he himself could not bring it about, knowing how it would ruin Han and Leia. Yet he wished for it, craved it, nonetheless.

Ben will never again be who he was before that night.

“But you know what I thought?” Ben asks.

Rey gives a tiny shake of her head. “What?”

Ben sighs.

“I thought, _that could have been me,”_ Ben says. “I wondered… Why _wasn’t_ it me? I feel rage, and pain, and viciousness. I can fight with violence and lethality. I am not afraid to dip into passion when I want to win. I could make a great Sith if I wanted to.”

“And that’s it, isn’t it?” Rey asks, leaning forward, taking his hand in hers. “You don’t want to. You choose not to. And you already know that; that’s why you’ve always reminded me to make my own choices.”

Under the stars of Takodana, Ben looked at her.

_“Promise me something. Promise me that whatever you do, whatever you become… Promise me that it will always be your choice.”_

Next to the fire on Ahch-To, Ben smiles at her.

“I think it all comes down to choice,” Ben says. “I think Bail made a different one than me. But until today, until Luke said those things to me about how I control my emotions, how my internalization might be something that makes _me_ great… I didn’t really understand it. That The Voice was wrong; I don’t have to be Dark to be _the best.”_

Rey grins.

He squeezes her hand.

“See what I mean, about always being able to grow and improve?”

She laughs. “Yeah. I just have to convince Master Skywalker to take me seriously.”

Ben sighs. “I don’t know why he’s behaving that way towards you. My guess is he thinks he’s being cautious; but upsetting you seems like a stupid way to go about it.”

“Maybe. But he upset you, and look what happened there.”

That’s a fair point.

“I’ll think about it,” Ben says.

“Okay. Here,” Rey picks up his abandoned stew. “Eat your stew. I want to spar with you again, and I can’t do it if you’re weak from hunger.”

“You’re right, you do need the practice.”

Rey scowls, and Ben grins. He takes the stew from her, exchanging the bowl for the text he’d been perusing.

“Hey, can you take a quick read through there and let me know if there’s anything about Juyo?” he asks. “I’d like to read more about what its practitioners had to say about it.”

Rey takes the text slowly, looking down at the page with clear hesitation.

Ben pauses. “What’s wrong?”

“Um…” Rey frowns, avoiding his eyes. “It’s just that, um… I don’t really, I mean… I’m not very good at, um… I can’t… Read.”

Ben lowers his spoon.

“You can’t read?” he echoes.

Even with the fire behind her, he can tell Rey is turning bright red. She won’t meet his eyes.

“I think I must’ve known how at some point, right?” Rey asks, speaking extremely quickly, covering her embarrassment as best she can. “I can recognize words on ship hulls and know what kind of wiring and parts will be in there when I open them up, and I know what numbers mean for how fast speeders can go, but I never had any extra time to practice reading other things. So in terms of just… reading a text I haven’t seen before, on a subject I know nothing about… No. I can’t.”

Ben sets his bowl back down.

“Rey,” he says, carefully. “Don’t be ashamed.”

“I just, I never really _had_ to know--”

“I know. And I understand.”

Rey shrugs, still looking down at the open text in front of her.

“Rey,” Ben says, again. “Rey, may I teach you how to read?”

That gets her to look at him.

“That seems like going above and beyond what a Jedi would do,” she says.

“Not really,” Ben admits. “The one pillar of the Jedi that we haven’t gotten to yet is Knowledge. The Jedi strongly encouraged their initiates and apprentices to spend ample time in the Archives, taking advantage of all instructional tools, tablets, holocrons, and data. The Archives were destroyed with the Temple on Coruscant, but Luke was given access to the New Republic’s librairies for us. I spent much of my adolescence reading.” He pauses, and adds, “But Rey, you must know; I would want to help you learn how to read anyway, even if it wasn’t necessary for you to become a Jedi.”

She studies him.

“Yeah, Ben,” she says. “I do know.”

It is a very small, but true, example of trust. She trusts him. Rey of Nowhere, Rey the feral desert child; on this strange island, this unique path, Rey believes that Ben will only continue to help her thrive.

“Can you teach me how to write, too?” she asks, suddenly. “Handwrite? I’ve seen you taking notes, I know you can do it.”

“Of course.”

Leia had spent hours teaching her boys not just how to write, but how to write calligraphy. At the time, it had seemed like just another thing they needed to learn. But then they’d gone to train with Luke, and quickly realized the other apprentices couldn’t handwrite like they could.

Ben was the one who’d asked Leia about it. And she’d told him that every member of the House of Organa, the Royal House of Alderaan, was expected to be able to write in calligraphy.

In the very smallest, technical terms are Bail and Ben considered to be princes of Alderaan. Bail maybe a little more so, as he has the Alderaanian name.

But Alderaan is in pieces now, floating in the Core Worlds. Destroyed by the Galactic Empire, then ruled by the biological father of the princess of the annihilated planet.

And now the First Order has obliterated the Hosnian System, a move watched over by one of the last heirs of the Royal Family of Alderaan.

 _It is possible,_ Ben thinks, _that time is only a circle._

It is so important that he remain in the present as best as he can.

Here in this hut on Ahch-To, next to a glowing fire. Rey at his side, looking down at the ancient Jedi text with a look full of concentration and yearning.

Surrounded on all sides by light, Ben feels very far from his lost brother indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My headcanon is Rey doesn't really know how to read. Like she can read certain words, but if you gave her a book on a topic she knows nothing about, she'd struggle.
> 
> As far as I know, there is no canon setting for Luke's Temple. I read a theory once that it was on Devaron, which is what I'm going with for this series.
> 
> Anakin Skywalker was called "The Hero With No Fear" by the general public during the Clone Wars, as stated in the "Revenge of the Sith" novelization by Matthew Stover. It is my favorite canon novel.
> 
> Everything about Juyo was lifted from "The Jedi Path".
> 
> The theme of Choice in TLJ was so powerful to me, as was the way it complicated the fall of Ben Solo. Choice is the defining theme of this story.
> 
> If you are enjoying this story, please drop a line! It can be very lonely to write, and I have spent virtually all of my free time this month working on this, and I'd like to hear from you.


	4. Points of View

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The Dark Side will prey on what you desire most, and what you feel conflicted over,” Luke murmurs. “It will give you the answers it thinks will make you most malleable. And then it will watch as you destroy yourself and everything you love.”

The first thing Rey sees when she opens her eyes is Luke Skywalker, leaning over her.

It is such a surprise that it takes her a few moments to realize she is, in fact, awake and not experiencing a very strange dream.

“Master Skywalker?” Rey manages to ask, lucidity slowly returning to her.

The sun has just barely risen, going by the misty halo surrounding Luke’s head. In this light, his hair looks grizzled, and unkempt; and while he usually looks like both these things, no matter the time of day, it is particularly noticeable in the morning sun.

Though Rey is sure she doesn’t look much better at the moment.

“Morning,” he says.

“Did you just…” she sits up a little, and sure enough, the ratty blanket she’s using as a door for her hut has been pulled to the side. “You just walked in here?”

“I spoke to Ben when he was leaving his hut this morning already,” Luke says, dismissively, “I knew I wouldn’t be walking into anything… untoward by turning up here unannounced. So I told him as much.”

Rey rubs her eyes. “Why are you… like this.”

“It’s always fun to see the kid blush,” Luke says, a soft smile on his face. “You’re just a casualty of my attempt.” He clears his throat. “But I am here for a reason. It’s time for your second lesson.”

That wakes Rey up.

She straightens, staring up at Luke from the bedroll she’s fashioned for herself.

_ “Really?” _

It’s been nearly a week and a half since the first lesson.

Luke nods. “Yep. Meet me in the Temple in twenty minutes. And don’t bother to wait for Ben.”

“Is he meeting us up there?” Rey asks, scrambling around for her socks.

“He isn’t joining us today.”

Rey stills. 

Ben has been present for all of her interactions with Luke. He’s often served as a second source of knowledge, as a sympathetic supporter, and her own advocate. She suspects that, more than once, he’s prevented a shouting match between Luke and Rey with his quiet presence.

“Was that your choice, or his?” she asks.

“Mine,” Luke says. “Ben won’t be short on things to do this morning; I imagine he’ll spend the whole time meditating, trying to gleam more knowledge of Form VII, and Vaapad. I’ll be surprised if we see him at all before dusk.”

“Vaapad?”

“A variation of the Juyo you saw Ben employing yesterday,” Luke replies. “Vaapad was created by a Jedi Master called Mace Windu. Ben has no need for it, but he’ll learn everything he can about it anyway. He’s always been an overachiever.”

Rey smiles. Luke offers her one of his own.

“But even without his agenda,” Luke continues, “I would want to share this lesson with you alone. It is a lesson Ben has already learned, of course… But I think, more than anything; I would like to offer you an apology.”

She stares.

“And that won’t be necessary for your defender to witness,” Luke says, “As this is for you, and not him.”

Luke turns, walks through her doorway, and then pauses.

“I’ve got Thala-siren milk and dried needlegawp for breakfast,” Luke adds. “You’re on your own for caf.”

* * *

Rey clambers up the mountain.

She was not able to catch sight of Ben before leaving the village, and guesses that he’s gone to be near the library tree in order to meditate alone. The sun is rising slowly over the island, turning Rey’s steps ethereal, until she feels a little like she is climbing up a heavenly ladder, reaching for the sun itself.

She enters the Temple, to find Luke sitting next to the reflecting pool and the Prime Jedi mosaic.

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, offering Rey a canteen of green milk.

“Thanks,” she says. “This is from one of those weird sea cow things, isn’t it?”

“I take it you aren’t too fond of them.”

Rey shrugs, taking a gulp of milk. It is surprisingly tasteless, and she gives it another shot, preferring tasteless to disgusting. “They’re odd. And loud.”

“They’re very docile,” Luke replies. “You can hop onto one and take a nice, easy swim around the cove.”

Rey eyes him. “Do you say that from personal experience, Master?”

Luke shrugs, but his eyes are twinkling.

This is more like the Luke Skywalker she’d been expecting, based off the legends of the farm boy from Tatooine she’d heard. Those tales, coupled with the real-life generosity and support of Leia and Ben, Luke’s closest family, had only confirmed Rey’s belief that she’d be learning from a warmhearted man eager to pass on ancient knowledge. The reality, the sight of the angry, dismissive man who’d tossed his family heirloom over his shoulder carelessly; it had been a lot to take in.

Rey has spent more time worrying about how Ben might be reacting to this version of Luke than examining her own feelings towards the Jedi Master.

Now, she feels gratified, and a little sad.

“Master Skywalker,” Rey tries, quietly. “Why don’t you like me?”

Luke sets down the bit of needlegawp he’d been gnawing on.

“I don’t… not like you, Rey,” he says, slowly.

Rey frowns. “That hasn’t been the impression I’ve gotten.”

“I know. And I apologize for that.” Luke sighs. “The reason for my… my dismissiveness, my  _ scorn, _ towards you, is tied up in my second lesson. Shall we proceed?”

“Please,” Rey says, abandoning her breakfast to give the Jedi Master her full attention.

* * *

“Lesson Two,” Luke says. He gets to his feet, and clasps his hands neatly behind his back, moving with a serene stillness. “Now that they’re virtually extinct, the Jedi are romanticized, deified. But if you strip away their myth, and look at their deeds? The legacy of the Jedi is  _ failure. _ And hypocrisy. And hubris.”

Rey is already shaking her head.

“That’s not true,” she insists, jumping to her feet. “How can you say that, when--”

“At the height of their power,” Luke interrupts, speaking fluidly now, “They allowed Darth Sidious to rise, create the Empire, and  _ wipe them out. _ And it was a Jedi Master who was responsible for the training of Darth Vader; a Jedi Master named Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

“But it was a Jedi who saved Vader,” Rey interjects.

Luke’s eyes flicker down, and Rey allows herself a small moment of accomplishment.

“He was the most hated man in the galaxy,” Rey continues. “But you saw there was conflict in him. You believed that he wasn’t gone, that he could be turned!”

Luke offers her a very dark grin.

“And I became a legend,” he says.

Rey hesitates, taken aback. “Well… Yes.”

Luke nods once. He returns to his seat next to the pool, and Rey follows him down. The rising sun slants between them, almost perfectly aligned with the lightsaber held by the Prime Jedi.

“For many years,” Luke says. “There was balance. Vader and Sidious were gone; the Empire was in shambles. Leia, and the Alliance, and then the Republic, were all there to beat it back, to raise democracy from the ashes. Han was freed from his debts, living like a new man. And I was a galactic hero. Everywhere I went, I would be asked to… to bless people, to offer them comfort, to heal their ills. And I was all alone in this.” Luke looks at Rey. “To continue to live after the climax of your myth is a very difficult thing.”

Rey stares back.

“And then… There they were. The twins,” Luke says, that warm twinkle returning to his eyes, making him easily twenty years younger. “Born on the same day the Civil War formally ended. Leia always had impeccable timing.” Rey can’t smother her high laugh, and Luke smiles. “Right away, we knew they were something special. The Force… It was ever-present with those boys. I’ve never felt anything like it before. My nephews, with the mighty Skywalker blood. I knew I had to train them. In my hubris… I thought I could.

“Han, was… Han about it,” Luke says, offering a little rolled-eye shrug, and Rey’s smile is softer and sadder because she misses Han, how she  _ misses _ him. “But Leia…”

Luke’s eyes turn large, looking in open space, looking into the past.

“Leia,” Luke whispers, “Trusted me with  _ her boys. _ Her sons. The weight of that choice, that  _ trust… _ Even now, I can hardly believe it. Perhaps even more so, now, because of what happened.”

He sighs.

“Bail was eager to go,” Luke says. “He couldn’t wait to be a Jedi. He was swinging around sticks on the beaches of Chandrila since he could walk. He got a bit quiet when the time came, but he acclimated well enough once he was at the Temple. Ben was the one we weren’t sure about. He was strong in the Force, certainly--while his brother pelted rocks into the sea with nothing but his thoughts, Ben was reading under a tree, and unconsciously making the grass grow around him--but he didn’t have the same…  _ drive _ for it.”

“Then why did he go?”

Luke’s sadness returns.

“Because Bail wanted to go,” Luke says. “And Ben could not bear to be separated from him. And because… Because I told him that I would help him be the best he could be. I promised him that he would never be alone.”

_ Oh, _ Rey thinks.

_ “I don’t know when he made his choice,” Ben says. “I don’t know what happened to cause it. I woke up one night to the smell of smoke, and blood in puddles on the ground. I saw my brother strike down an apprentice. I watched my brother choose The Voice, choose Snoke, over me.” _

The grief in Ben’s eyes, six years after the event, is still so raw and true and terrible. It is enough to turn the twenty-five-year-old man into a child; enough for Rey to understand that some part of Ben has never left that day, that burned-out Temple.

And then she thinks of those same eyes, hardened by anger and darkness, staring at her across time and space.

_ “Did Luke tell you what happened?” Kylo asks, abruptly. “The night I destroyed his Temple? Did he tell you why? Even Ben doesn’t know the whole story.” _

“Master Skywalker,” Rey whispers. “What happened?”

* * *

“I had felt the Darkness rising in him. I would be a fool not to; and perhaps I wasn’t foolish when it came to the ways of the Force. But I was foolish in believing I was powerful enough to match it. I went to confront him. And he turned on me.”

Luke gestures to the rock ceiling of the cavern above them. “He pulled the roof of his hut down on me. It was only the start of what was to come. The destruction he was about to create; the pain, the suffering, and the endless grief.

“He must have thought I was dead,” Luke continues. “When I came to… the Temple was burning. He had vanished with a small handful of my students. And slaughtered the rest. Except for one. The sole survivor of the massacre; my last Jedi.”

“Ben,” Rey whispers.

Luke nods. “At first, I thought Ben was dead. I couldn’t feel him anywhere. Ben has always been… very warm.”

Rey smiles. It is exactly the first thing she noticed, the first time she felt Ben in the Force.

“And then I saw him, standing in the downpour, just staring at the black sky,” Luke murmurs. “But I still couldn’t  _ feel _ him. It was such a strange thing; if I was in a lesser state of shock, I would have understood what it meant right away. But as it was… I was only confused. And a part of me, a part I am not proud of… A part of me was surprised that he was still there. That he hadn’t followed his brother into the Dark.”

“That was Ben’s choice,” Rey says, softly.

“I know,” Luke confirms. “I understand that, now. At the time, I… I wasn’t capable of making any kind of thoughtful choice. And perhaps Ben thought I was dead, too, like Bail did. It doesn’t really matter now. Ben walked away. And I let him go.”

Luke turns back to her, and his smile is mirthless and cynical.

“Leia blamed Snoke,” Luke says. “But it was me. I failed. Because I was  _ Luke Skywalker.  _ Jedi Master. A  _ legend. _ Useless to prevent the Dark from rising, and incapable of comforting the Light to confront it. I failed Ben when I let him go that day; he didn’t need his Master, he needed his uncle, and I was too proud to understand the difference. And as for Bail…”

“You didn’t fail Kylo,” Rey snaps, refusing to use the man’s birth name. She has seen no hint of the boy in the monstrous man who has caused Ben and Luke so much sorrow. “Kylo failed  _ you. _ And I won’t.”

“I appreciate that, Rey,” Luke murmurs. “I truly do. But you have to understand why your enthusiasm, your zeal; you have to see why it scares me.”

Rey pauses.

“In many ways,” Luke explains, “You remind me of Bail. You’ve got that similar, near-rabid strength in the Force. You’re headstrong, and keen to learn, to go from nothing to the very best, most difficult things in a heartbeat. You have a temper lurking beneath your skin. And you have a proclivity to reach for the Dark.”

She looks away.

She thinks of that black cove, the hole in the stone, the slick seaweed dripping down. She has dreamt of that space every night since, sometimes waking up with the taste of saltwater on her tongue.

“What did you mean,” Rey asks, “When you said the Dark had something I needed?”

“The power of the Dark Side lies in its ability to offer temptation,” Luke explains. “Temptation to give into our basest, most desperate pleasures and desires. Emotions such as fear, anger, and hate; three emotions that have no place in the Light Side of the Force.” Luke pauses. “You’ve noticed the… strangeness of this island?”

Rey nods. She would be numb not to. There is something extremely heady about the place; something rich in the air, soil, and water, all the elements that make it up. Though Ben hasn’t talked it through with her, she knows he feels it too; she’s caught him pausing in the middle of various tasks to look around, as though hearing something he cannot place.

“Think of the Force as this island,” Luke says. “The Dark Side is what lies  _ underneath _ the island. Everything that is submerged, and hidden, and unknown. That is the Dark Side.”

“So what could it offer  _ me?” _

“The truth.”

“... The truth?”

Luke’s eyes are sad. “What do you want, Rey?”

Rey frowns. “To be a Jedi. I’m here, am I not? I want to be here.”

“But  _ why _ do you want to be a Jedi?”

_ “Something inside me,” Rey whispers, “Has always been there. And now it’s awake. And I’m afraid. I don’t know what it is, or what to do with it. I need help.” _

“Because I want to understand,” Rey breathes now.

Luke nods. “Knowledge was a core pillar in the teachings of the Jedi. But they focused their desire for knowledge on understanding cultures, and science, and society. The pillar of Knowledge was not where the Jedi searched out for their own truths. There was not really a space for that, save for what they could gleam from meditation. The Jedi were not much in the business of answering questions… such as questions about the past.”

One of the first questions Luke had asked Rey was about where she came from.

“You think the Dark Side could answer that for me,” she whispers.

“I think the Light could, as well,” Luke hastens to add. “But perhaps in not as straight-forward a way as you are hoping. Perhaps in a way that is not as promising.”

Rey thinks about it.

“Has the Dark Side ever showed you… truth?” she wonders.

She expects Luke to refuse to answer.

To her surprise, he sighs.

“When I was an apprentice,” he says, “I trained under an old Jedi Master called Yoda. The very last Jedi Master from the Old Republic. He did not have much patience for me; he suspected I had too much of my father in me.”

_ Vader. He’s talking about Darth Vader. _

Rey fights the urge to back away from Luke.

“During my training, I encountered a lure from the Dark Side,” he says. “The cold, the sense that something was wrong… It called to me. Master Yoda cautioned me. I asked him what was in there.” Luke looks at Rey with sharp, pale blue eyes that have seen so much more than Rey thinks she ever will. “He told me: ‘Only what you take with you.’”

_ Only what you take with you. _

“The Dark Side will prey on what you desire most, and what you feel conflicted over,” Luke murmurs. “It will give you the answers it thinks will make you most malleable. And then it will watch as you destroy yourself and everything you love.”

* * *

Rey spends the bulk of the day sitting with Luke in deep meditation. She doesn’t get much out of it; she is so single-mindedly focused on avoiding anything cold and dark that she thinks she ends up just side-stepping the Force altogether. It isn’t ideal, but at least she managed to not slip into the cave under the island.

As dusk falls, she begins her slow walk down the hillside, towards the village.

The frequent calls from the porgs have slowed, the birds settling in for the evening, as the nocturnal creatures come out in their place. Ahch-To, for all its strangeness, is rich with life. Rey encounters a new species of fish seemingly everyday while passing by the tide pools and cliff edges of the island, while every now and then a bird she hasn’t seen before appears on a rock or the top of the  _ Falcon, _ visiting from another island in the endless sea. She is eager to explore the planet further, but knows doing so is very low on her and Ben’s list of priorities. There is already so much to do and learn here, on the island of the First Jedi Temple; with Luke, who continues to show no interest in ever leaving it.

Below her, she can see the firepit in the village, lit up with a strong flame, and smiles at the sight of Ben, sitting in front of it, reading one of the ancient texts. Waiting for her.

She takes another step forward, and her whole world goes silent.

Rey groans.

“You have to understand that this is out of my control,” Kylo Ren says.

He’s surprisingly close to her, and clearly in a room with better lighting, judging by the strange way he is illuminated versus the shadows dominating her background. She watches this same thought occur to him, causing a minute wrinkle to form next to his eyes.

“This island, with the First Jedi Temple,” he muses. “It’s night on the planet, already?”

“Where are you?” Rey asks, before she can stop herself.

“I’ll tell you if you tell me where you are first.”

Rey rolls her eyes. She takes a few more steps down the hill before stilling, eyes locked on Ben below.

She has not told him of her occasional encounter with Kylo Ren. She tells herself it’s because she really doesn’t know how to bring it up;  _ Ben, remember your homicidal twin brother who tortured you on Ilum? Yeah, he’s taken to popping up out of nowhere and visiting with me. Weird! _

If Kylo Ren is bemused by this phenomenon, then Rey is sure Ben would be as well. And there is no point in worrying him over something he cannot fix. In the meantime, she’s been flipping through the ancient texts, searching for a hint of what is happening to her and Kylo. Nothing yet, though her reading skills have not advanced enough to confirm this.

She’s getting better, though. Literate.

Normally after dinner, Ben will sit with her while she reads, making himself available for any questions she may have. It’s been a nice, companionable quiet between them, a bit of downtime after a long day of training and working and moving. She adores these bits of soft intimacy; she likes that she will sometimes lean her head against Ben’s shoulder, or he’ll rest his head in her lap, and they’ll just sit there, breathing the same space. Wanting the same things.

She thinks her presence brings Ben’s comfort. He is so tightly wound all the time, so careful and hesitant, and above all; tinged with that ever-present melancholy.

She refuses to add to Ben’s burdens by bringing Kylo--somewhat literally--into his midst.

Which leaves her stuck on this hillside, waiting for Kylo to disappear so she can return to Ben.

“Please go away,” Rey says. “I have things to do.”

“Oddly enough, spending time with you is not high on my to-do list, either,” Kylo drawls. “Though I expect I am doing things much more productive than whatever…  _ Jedi _ training Luke is putting you through.”

Rey spins on the spot, glaring at Kylo fully.

“He told me what happened,” she snaps. “That night. At the Temple. You killed your  _ friends. _ You left your  _ brother.” _

Kylo looks away, and Rey feels more successful than she has all day.

_ You cannot deny that that is what happened, _ she thinks.

“I did,” Kylo murmurs, looking back at her. “I did kill some of my classmates. But they were weak; they would not have been able to stomach the Dark, would have been crushed by as powerful a Master as the Supreme Leader. It was in their best interests to become one with the Force, then.”

Rey scoffs. “Do you even  _ hear yourself? _ That is the most… the most kriffed-up logic I have ever heard.”

“You have spent so much time living only in the present,” Kylo says, voice suddenly thoughtful. “You have no idea how to prepare for the future. I don’t blame you; I imagine, on Jakku, thinking with the long-term in mind was impossible.”

“You don’t know anything about me,” Rey says, but the snarl under her voice gives her emotion away.

“You don’t need to tell me,” Kylo says. “It’s all over your face, Rey. I can feel it.”

It is the first time he has ever said her name; he’s only ever referred to her as the  _ Scavenger. _ She can’t help but look up at him when he says it.

“You’re so lonely,” Kylo murmurs, voice so soft and gentle it causes her eyes to widen in surprise. “And you are so afraid.”

“I am not the only one who is  _ afraid,” _ Rey replies.

He is so strangely clear in this space, with the two of them locked in some other world as the real one continues to spin outside. He remains deathly cold; but the cold is tinged by something new, and something known. Fear.

It drips off her, too.

“I am doing something with my fear,” Kylo says. “But what are you doing about yours? From what I recall, the Jedi had no interest in acknowledging fear.”

_ There is no emotion, there is peace. _

_ But there is emotion, _ Rey thinks, recalling how Ben fought beautifully and mesmerizingly and fiercely against Luke.

“Maybe you were just a bad Jedi,” Rey offers.

Kylo  _ grins. _ It is feral; all teeth.

“I was,” he confirms. “Perhaps you should remember that, whenever you ask yourself about what really happened that night at the Temple. Perhaps you should consider that I am not the only one.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asks, stalking towards him, but Kylo has frozen solid, eyes locked on something over her shoulder.

She turns around.

Ben is still below, but he’s now standing next to the fire, leaving his text open on the stone rock. He’s bent a little, stirring whatever he has cooking in the kettle over the firepit.

It is Ben on whom Kylo’s eyes are locked.

“Ben,” he whispers.

Rey stares. “You can see him?”

A new thrill of fear shakes her. It was one thing for Kylo to only be able to see her and a whole lot of nothing, as she experiences with him. But if he can see Ben… Perhaps these restraints will be lifted, and he’ll be able to see  _ everything. _ Including the location of the island.

Yet Kylo’s face remains on Ben’s figure, down below. His eyes are wide, mouth slightly parted; and Rey knows that no part of Kylo has thought of what she just did.

He is too focused on the sight of his brother.

Ben walks around the fire, picking the text up again.

“He’s… reading,” Rey says, hesitantly, unsure exactly what Kylo can see; perhaps just Ben, shaped in flickering flames. “Some kind of text, I don’t know which one. And he’s cooking us dinner. We’ve been switching off, but it’s his turn tonight. He’s been introducing me to a bunch of different foods. Tonight he mentioned making some stew with ruica, malla petals, synthetic oro bark, and something called l’lahsh.”

“He’s making you Alderaanian stew,” Kylo whispers.

“Oh.”

Ben had not mentioned this, she’s sure. And it should not surprise her that Kylo would hear the list of ingredients and recognize what kind of stew they would make. If Ben had this recipe long-memorized, then Kylo--or, rather, Bail--would likely have it memorized as well.

“When’s the last time you had Alderaanian stew?” Rey asks.

She doesn’t know why she’s doing this, why she’s giving Kylo so much, things like a description of the mundane activity his brother is doing, or asking him personal questions. It just seems right, almost logical.

She suspects it has to do with the small, vulnerable look on Kylo’s face that unerringly reminds her of Ben, when he’s thinking about something that makes him sad. More specifically, Kylo’s face now is reminding her of that time back on D’Qar when Ben and Leia did the Force meld, so Ben could give her the last piece of the map to Luke. While deep in the meditative state, looking at his memory of Bail, Ben had whispered, almost unconsciously,  _ “Come back.” _

The expression on his face then matches the one on Kylo’s now.

“It’s been awhile,” Kylo says, and Rey has to think to remember her question.

She opens her mouth, but with an odd snapping feeling, Kylo disappears, and the island life returns to her.

She blinks her eyes, adjusting to the sudden dark space in front of her.

As she begins her walk down the mountain, reflecting over her conversation with Kylo, one small thing keeps returning to her.

How, when she charged Kylo with killing his friends and leaving Ben, he’d only admitted to one thing: Killing his friends.

He had not admitted to leaving his brother.

* * *

“Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Rey almost swallows an entire malla petal whole after Ben speaks. She coughs, sputtering a bit, causing him to stare at her with alarm.

“I’m fine,” she gasps, a little hoarse. “Sorry. Tried to answer too quickly.”

“Don’t apologize to me,” Ben says, slowly. “You’re just… a little weird.”

“Aren’t I always? I feel like you’ve said that I am before.”

Ben sighs, but there’s a smile at the end of it. “You know what I mean, Rey.”

“Luke told me what happened with Bail, at the Temple, that night,” Rey says suddenly. The  _ that night _ part of her sentence feels wholly unnecessary. Whenever one of them talks of Bail and the Temple, it is always in reference to the night Bail burned it down and walked away.

Ben nods, staring down into his almost empty bowl of stew. “I see.”

“Has he talked to you about this?”

“Briefly,” Ben says. “The other day, while you were practicing Makashi stances in the saddle. He told me he went to confront Bail, and Bail turned on him.”

“What did you say?”

Ben shrugs inelegantly. “Nothing really. I wasn’t surprised. I’d assumed as much. I just…”

Rey pauses. “You just… ?”

“I wish… Luke had come to get me, first. That we’d gone to talk to Bail together.” Ben shakes his head, staring into the fire in front of them. “I’m not sure it would have changed anything. Probably not; I imagine Bail had decided before that night that he was going to go to Snoke. But I don’t know… Part of me wants to believe… That I could have done something.”

“Ben…”

He laughs a little, but there is no humor in it, only bitterness. “I can’t help it. And I know it doesn’t matter now. I need to move forward. Move on.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Ben.”

Ben nods. “I know. I know.”

He seems to pull himself together, rolling his shoulders, nodding down at her unfinished bowl of stew. “The stew is not  _ that _ bad, right?”

Rey smirks. “Best Alderaanian stew I’ve ever had.”

He smiles, getting to his feet, and gathering together the other used dishes and cups. “How did you know?”

“Know what?”

“That it was Alderaanian stew.”

Rey freezes, spoon halfway to her mouth. Luckily, Ben hasn’t looked up, too focused on repacking the remaining ingredients.

“Ruica isn’t an incredibly common plant,” Ben says, as he carefully returns the remaining ruica leaves to their container. “Which isn’t the worst thing, to be honest. My mother hated the taste of ruica when she was a child; my grandfather bullied her into eating it, everytime. He told her it would make her strong. Considering who she is now; maybe she ate too many ruica leaves.”

Ben looks back up, still smiling, and Rey gathers herself together.

“Oh, I just assumed,” she says, speaking a little quickly, “Since your mother gave us the food and you made the stew. Lucky guess.”

“Sounds like you’d better make those more often,” Ben muses, packing the remaining food into a knapsack. “Lucky guesses.”

“Right,” Rey says.

“I’m going to return these to the galley in the  _ Falcon. _ Need anything while I’m down there?”

“No, thanks.”

He leans down, to give her a quick kiss and last smile, before walking away, disappearing down the stairs. A moment later, the small light from his glowrod appears, a single pinprick of light in the pitch black darkness that is the island at night.

Rey tucks her sweater in more tightly to her sides.

She is suddenly no longer hungry.

* * *

The porg’s black eyes are massive, and disproportionately large in its round face, though it doesn’t even really have a face. Its head and neck seem to disappear into the folds of its rotund body, until the porg has the appearance of a slightly misshapen loaf of bread.

A somewhat burned loaf of bread, going by the patches of black and brown on its back feathers.

“You won’t get me to give in,” Rey tells the porg. “I’m not Ben.”

Ben, in his seemingly infinite kindness, has taken to the porgs. The sight of them, whether it be as they squabble over a bit of moss for a nest, or as they poke around in the reeds for some kind of meal, always causes him to grin. Rey doesn’t understand it. With their non-stop  _ yelling, _ and ability to get into  _ absolutely everything;  _ they are far more annoying than anything else.

Making nests out of exposed wires and insulation in the  _ Falcon _ is the last straw.

“This is a very old ship,” Rey says, glaring at the porg, which only blinks its big eyes at her. “She needs to be taken care of. She doesn’t deserve to be picked apart for… for whatever parts you lot think will make the best nests.”

“Are you seriously talking to the porg?”

Rey spins on the spot, giving Ben a similar glare that she has just given the porg. He’s pulling his leather jacket on, and his expression is far too amused for her liking.

“It won’t budge,” she complains. “We can’t take it with us.”

“Why not?”

“Porgs are classified as an invasive species,” Rey explains. “What if they aren’t native to Zakuul? We’d be exposing that ecosystem to an unknown species. Possibly a threat. The Galactic Zoological Guide is very firm on this topic.”

Ben beams. “Your reading skills are getting really good.”

“I’ve had a good teacher,” Rey says, allowing her stern expression to momentarily shift into a smile at Ben’s praise. “But the point stands.”

“If you think you can kick a bunch of wild birds out of the  _ Falcon, _ be my guest,” Ben replies, walking back towards the entry ramp. “Otherwise, we’re leaving, porgs or no porgs, in ten minutes.”

Rey sighs.

When she walks outside the  _ Falcon _ a moment later, it is to find Luke standing with Ben. Luke is scribbling something on a spare bit of paper, and Ben is leaning over his shoulder to read it as Luke writes. There is something comical in the sight of them; taller Ben, in his dark traveling clothes looking like a typical spacer, versus shorter Luke, dressed in the humble uniform of a Jedi of the Old Republic.

Rey feels like she’s at the intersection where the two styles meet, in her tan leggings and wraps, a soft gray shawl gifted to her by Leia shielding her from the wind.

_ “Hot chocolate?” _ Ben cries, incredulous, staring at his uncle. “Really?”

“You sound like your father,” Luke says, refusing to respond to Ben’s disbelief. “I used to keep pods of hot chocolate stashed around the  _ Falcon. _ Looks like someone cleared me out.”

Ben rolls his eyes. “Or someone found your pods and just threw them away.”

“Their loss.” Luke hands Ben his list, and looks at Rey. “You ever have hot chocolate, Rey?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“You’d know,” Luke replies. “It’s the best drink in the galaxy. Don’t let Ben tell you otherwise. He’s the son of a smuggler who had the same taste as all other smugglers; if it didn’t have alcohol in it, it wasn’t worth drinking.”

Rey laughs, but this does jibe with Han; she’s not sure she ever saw him drinking anything non-alcoholic.

Ben is scanning the list, shaking his head.

“You’ve got expensive taste,” he comments.

“Tell your mother to add it to my tab,” Luke says.

“I would,” Ben murmurs, and something uncertain darkens his otherwise content expression.

It’s been fifteen days, and they have not heard from the Resistance once, or managed to get in touch with them during that time. Their communication efforts have resulted in one thing: unending static. It is a most depressing kind of soundtrack.

Though Ben puts a brave face on, Rey knows he’s growing more and more worried by the day.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” Rey asks Luke, trying to pull Ben back from his melancholy.

“I’m sure,” Luke says, but he looks at the  _ Falcon _ as he speaks, and Rey doesn’t need the Force to sense the longing under his voice.

“We aren’t going far,” she presses. “Zakuul is practically right next door. Don’t you want to get off this island, if only for a few hours?”

“I came to this island to die,” Luke snaps, all his softhearted joking gone in an instant. “So no. I won’t be leaving it.”

Ben looks at Luke, disapproving, but Rey rolls her shoulders. She is used to Luke’s abrupt anger.

In some ways, it reminds her of her own.

She wonders if Luke ever worked with Bail, and saw himself.

“Maybe you can work on Artoo, then,” Rey says, diplomatically. “I haven’t had a lot of time for him, and I feel bad.”

Luke nods, accepting her peace gesture as well as he can. “That’s a good idea.”

“I’ve picked through him, and he doesn’t seem to be missing any parts, but I’ll keep an eye out for anything on Zakuul. Maybe ask a droid repairman what they know.”

“But not too much,” Ben interjects, shooting Rey a cautious look. “We’re flying under the radar here.”

“I know,” Rey confirms.

They are going to Zakuul strictly for supplies, things like food and medicine. In packing for Ahch-To, neither of them (nor Leia) had anticipated Luke living with so little. There is only so much fish Ben can eat before getting grumpy about it.

Rey, meanwhile, has spent the vast majority of her life eating tasteless portions, so the fish are still a delicacy. Luke also eats the same diet without complaint.

Another odd similarity between them.

“I’m going to get you some new leather, too,” Ben says suddenly, adding a note to Luke’s list. “Your heaviest cloak is developing a hole in the right shoulder.”

He looks up when there is no response, to find Luke and Rey looking at him with soft expressions.

“What?”

Luke sighs.

He walks to Ben, placing a heavy hand on his nephew’s shoulder.

“You ignored me when I said it earlier,” Luke says, softly, “But I meant it then, and I mean it now, and I hope you will believe me. You remind me of your father; the best of him.”

Ben flushes.

He clears his throat, gently shrugging Luke’s hand off.

“Rey, you ready?” he asks.

“Yes,” Rey says, until she takes a step and stills. “Er, I think I left my lightsaber in my hut. Should I--”

“Yes,” Ben confirms. “Better to be safe than sorry.”

She nods, and turns, hurrying up the stone stairs towards the village. Her lightsaber swings against her hip, hidden under the shawl.

It had seemed wise to give Luke and Ben a moment with their grief.

She is not sure they’ve spoken to each other about Han yet; most of their discussions have been centered around the Force, the Jedi, Leia, and Bail. Han is yet another loss, and one more recent, and in some ways crueler.

In the village, Rey dawdles in her hut, aimlessly folding blankets and clothes, wondering how long she should give them to offer one another comfort in their shared loss.

Alone, she is more prepared for the sudden silence than she would have been if she’d been back at the  _ Falcon _ with Luke and Ben.

“I’m kind of in a hurry,” she complains. “I’d really rather not do this right now.”

“Yeah, me too,” Kylo replies.

As the blanket that acts as the door of her hut is moved by the wind, she catches frequent glimpses of Ben and Luke, far below. They are standing close together, heads bowed. Luke seems to be speaking to Ben. Even from far away, Rey recognizes Ben’s stance as what he looks like when he is close to tears.

She sighs. She might as well ask. She turns.

“Why did you hate your fa…”

She trails off, immediately jerking her gaze down to her feet.

Kylo Ren is staring at her, face blank. He is extremely shirtless, and a little shiny; sweat, she assumes.

“Do you have something… a  _ cowl, _ or something, you can put on?” she asks.

She chances another look at him.

He’s still just standing there, not making any move to put  _ a cowl or something _ on.

“Do I make you uncomfortable?” he asks, wonderingly. “I’d have assumed you’ve seen Ben like this before.”

Rey’s face heats up. She forces herself to raise her head, focusing on Kylo’s face.

“You’re not Ben,” she snaps.

“No,” he murmurs. “I’m not.”

The scar on his face, smaller than ever before, suddenly looks more present now that she refuses to look below his neck. Her earlier demand returns to her.

“Why did you hate your father?” Rey asks, and as she speaks, grasps the question itself, a sudden flurry of hot, painful emotion drives through her, until she’s close to sobbing. “Give me an honest answer. You had a father who loved you, who gave a damn about you!”

Kylo walks towards her. She remains rooted in place.

“I didn’t hate him,” he says, calmly.

“Then  _ why?” _ Rey demands.

He cocks his head, looking intently at her. “Why what?”

Rey’s breaths are still coming in ragged gasps.

Kylo’s face is calmer than she’s ever seen it.

“Why, what?” he repeats.  _ “Say it.” _

She has no idea why he’s doing this, what he is goading her into. She knows she should be worried by that, concerned she’s playing into some trick, but her curiosity is too overwhelming.

“Why did you…” She chokes, and swallows, and speaks: “Why did you kill him?”

She thinks of Han Solo: clever, sarcastic, friendly Han, with his loud laugh, his crooked grin. She thinks of Han, piloting the  _ Falcon _ with a ritual-like intensity, colluding with Finn in the Resistance Base. She thinks of Han and Chewbacca bickering together, like a hive brain organism. She thinks of Han asking her where she was going to go after Takodana, offering to give her his contact info for if she ever wished to leave Jakku. She thinks of Han holding Leia, as she cried into his chest. She thinks of Han giving each of his sons a die that he treasured, that brought him so much good fortune.

She thinks of Han, staring in shock at Ben, and running to him, to embrace him tightly.

She thinks of Han, reaching for Kylo’s face, a beam of angry red violently erupting from his back.

“I don’t understand,” Rey whispers.

“No?” Kylo asks, still so unnervingly calm. “Your parents threw you away like garbage--”

“They  _ didn’t, _ ” Rey spits.

“They did,” he says, unmoved. “But you can’t stop needing them. It’s your greatest weakness. Looking for them everywhere. In Han Solo… Now, I expect, in Skywalker. You said he told you what happened that night. But somehow; I don’t think he did.”

“He did!”

Kylo shakes his head. “No. He had sensed my power… as I am sure he senses yours. He fears it. He feared me then, as he fears you now. As he should.”

Rey swallows.

Because Kylo; he isn’t wrong.

Luke has repeatedly stated his fear of her raw strength, how it reminds him of Bail, how Luke has long felt he was not a match to Bail’s power and darkness. That this was the crux for his reluctance to train Rey; how he continues to refuse to do it, to give her proper lessons.

Some of this must cross her face, for Kylo’s blank expression softens, his dark eyes turning sympathetic.

Were it not for the scar; she’d almost think Ben was comforting her.

He steps closer, until they are almost touching.

“Let the past die,” Kylo whispers. “Kill it, if you have to. That’s the only way to become what you are meant to be.”

In the next breath, he’s gone.

The plain sunlight returns to her, funneling through her swaying doorway. Rey stares at it, unseeingly.

_ “Your parents threw you away like garbage--” _

_ “They didn’t!” _

_ “They did.” _

_ How does he know that? _ Rey wonders, and then--

_ How do I find out on my own? _

She leaves the hut on oddly shaky legs.

Luke is outside, kneeled in front of R2-D2, an open toolkit next to him.

“Found what you were looking for?” he calls, and it takes Rey a second to remember what she had claimed to be up here for.

“Oh. Yeah.” 

She pats her side for emphasis.

Luke nods. He sits up, withdrawing his hand from one of R2-D2’s open ports.

“Ben’s waiting,” he says, nodding to the  _ Falcon _ below. The engines are rumbling, and Rey pictures Ben in the cockpit, setting their route for Zakuul.

“Right,” Rey says.

She’s almost to the stairs when she pauses, turning back to Luke.

“Master,” she calls, and he looks back up. “Did you ever have a hard time telling them apart? Bail and Ben, I mean.”

She has not referred to Kylo as Bail since she got to the island. If Luke knows this, he doesn’t comment on it. He only sits back a bit on his ankles, eyes looking into open space.

“When they were very young, I did,” Luke replies. “But I wasn’t the only one. Han used to draw a line on Ben’s foot with a marker, to help him know who was who.”

Rey offers a stilted smile, hoping it is more natural than she feels.

“But as they got older… Not as much,” Luke continues. “Once they became more proficient at interacting with the Force. Their signatures were very different. Particularly as Bail started to fall; he changed a lot. His warmth became colder.”

_ “No. He had sensed my power… as he senses yours. He fears it. He feared me then, as he fears you now. As he should.” _

“And you were afraid of it,” Rey whispers.

Luke gives her a calculating look.

She swallows, hoping her uncertainty, her shakiness caused by what Kylo had said to her just now, is not knowable to him.

“I was afraid of what he could become,” Luke says, slowly. “I am sorry to know that my worst fear came true. I am sorry that Bail killed Han, and tortured his brother.”

Rey nods.

She is sorry, too.

She goes to leave again, but Luke’s voice stops her.

“Ben is very like his father,” Luke says. “They both have more heart than they really know what to do with. Han was always surprised by it, when he chose to do the right thing. Ben does the right thing because it is instinct to him. He will sacrifice himself to save those he loves, rather than strike others down to do that job for him. He will let himself be torn apart, to be used, to be thought of as lesser, if he thinks it would help someone.”

“I know,” Rey says.

Luke studies her.

“Ben is not as strong as he can seem,” he continues. “And he’s already had his heart broken once, by his brother. He still carries the weight of that loss, still holds his guilt and pain tightly to him, still feels a tremendous amount of responsibility for it. He will never fully recover from it.”

Rey knows all this too.

“Be careful with him, Rey,” Luke says. His ice blue eyes are tight, challenging, as if seeing something in Rey that she can’t see herself. “Don’t break his heart.”

“I won’t,” Rey whispers.

Luke gives her an acknowledging nod, and she trips down the stairs, hurrying to the  _ Falcon. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Only what you take with you" is one of my favorite lines/scenes in the whole series.
> 
> Alderaanian Stew is made up but the ingredients are all food found in the Old EU. Also in the Old EU, Luke was a big hot chocolate drinker. Bless his heart.
> 
> Zakuul is an Old EU planet; I don't think it's officially canon anymore. But it is the closest planet (proximity wise) to Ahch-To I could find, and actually does have something unique about it to interest Ben and Rey; this will be explored more in the next chapter.
> 
> To clarify: Kylo has not yet told Rey his version of what happened at the Temple. He is certainly hinting to her that she is not getting the full story, but he has not explained it fully yet.


	5. Heart Lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Clinging to a star that you fear will leave you."

“This is… _incredible.”_

Ben grins, turning his head to take in the sight of Rey, bent over the navigation computer, staring in awe at their route through Deep Space. The Unknown Regions stretch around them, so there is very little to actually see in the computer besides the thin blue line that is the _Millennium Falcon,_ cruising in lightspeed smoothly and fearlessly.

Guided by a Captain who feels a little smooth and fearless, too.

“I expect you could do it too,” Ben says. “Instinctive Astrogation is a Sense-based ability, and that’s really where you excel. You should pilot on the way back to Ahch-To.”

“Without a nav computer?”

“Without a nav computer.”

“Stellar,” Rey breathes.

There is something undeniably freeing and electric about it, to feel the hum of a ship under your hands and know you are the only thing saving it and yourself from smashing into an object ahead of you, whether it be a star, asteroid, planet, or another ship. Of all the things his sons could do that he could not, Han was most envious of their ability to pilot the _Falcon_ without the aid of anything besides the Force. It was the kind of independent, self-ruling thing Han had spent his whole life chasing.

Ben misses him like a lung.

It had been a special kind of devastating to witness Luke’s own grief. For all Ben thinks about Luke and Leia’s connection, he doesn’t spend nearly enough time as he should considering Luke and Han’s friendship. Luke had known Han as long as he’s known Leia, and vice versa. They were each other’s closest friend, the other’s only brother. For Luke to lose Han is probably not too unlike Ben losing Bail.

Luke never got to say goodbye.

And neither did Ben.

Neither of them ever will.

* * *

Zakuul slithers out of Deep Space like a snake emerging from a hidden hole in the earth. It’s a green planet, surrounded by three smaller moons, all orbiting almost alarmingly close to Zakuul itself. Further away, into the utter blackness that is this part of the galaxy, is its milky sun.

Rey’s eyes are glued to the planet as they approach it.

“It’s so _green,”_ she whispers.

Ben recalls that her reaction to Takodana, and its lush forests and growth, had been similar. It almost hurts him, to see how amazed she is by something that is so commonplace across the galaxy. For so many, to see green is to see life; it is just another brutal reminder of Rey’s sad past, her lonely life, her stunted growth. How badly he wishes to change that. How much he wants to show her the galaxy, so she can see new and fantastic worlds.

“Zakuul is primarily swamp-covered,” Ben says, directing their ship to the biggest patch of artificial light on the planet below. “Dominated by a single ocean that runs well over half of the planet. Zakuul is so far away from most systems that it’s been largely left to its own devices, untouched by the Old Republic or the Empire. A very long time ago, it was ruled by a system of government called the Eternal Empire, an absolute monarchy with goals to branch out to the rest of the galaxy at large. To my knowledge, they were never able to branch out beyond Zakuul. Not even to Ahch-To, which as far as any of us knows, is its closest neighbor.”

“What stopped them?”

Ben shrugs. “Infighting, I’d guess. But I don’t really know. Like I said; Zakuul is so far and isolated that its histories are not readily available. What I can tell you for sure is that the Sith, the _very_ ancient Sith, did visit this system, and might have left a footprint here. So you and I will have to be careful.”

“Why were the Sith here?” Rey wonders.

“They probably came here, initially, to try and expand their own empire,” Ben says. “The Jedi had a bit of a stranglehold on the Inner Rim, and were known in parts of the Outer Rim. The Unknown Regions provided the best opportunity for Sith growth, as the Jedi likely didn’t bother spending time and resources in venturing this far out in the galaxy.”

Rey gives him a fond sort of look. “That’s well thought-out.”

“I’m the son of a woman who is both a politician and a royal,” Ben says, dryly. “Some of her strategic thinking and political philosophy was bound to rub off on me.”

Rey laughs, abruptly stilling as they break through the atmosphere. She turns slowly, her eyes widening at the hazy fog that envelops the _Falcon._

“Like I said,” Ben says, softly. “That was probably _initially_ why the Sith came here.”

“What _is_ that?” Rey whispers.

Ben can feel what she feels. It is an odd feeling, something almost physically heavy, twinkling with both Light and Dark. Outside the transparisteel window is only unblemished nature, calm and quiet.

“There are places in the galaxy where the Force is unusually strong and present,” Ben says. The feeling intensifies the more time they spend flying over the swampland of Zakuul. “They’re called Force nexuses. They can be caused by a whole bunch of things; long-term residencies of Force-users, mysterious and logic-defying experiments, or… Or a traumatic event that has seared itself into the planet’s memory.”

Rey looks at him. “Because the Force acts as a conduit of memory.”

“Exactly.”

“What other Force nexuses are out there? Where are they?”

“Dathomir,” Ben says, “Where the Nightsisters live and practice their unknown magic. Korriban, which is home to an ancient Sith Temple. The old Jedi Temple on Coruscant allegedly had a Fountain that was considered by the Jedi there to be a Force nexus. Ruusan, which is home to a site called the Valley of the Jedi; the final battleground between the Jedi and Sith over a thousand years ago. Mortis, which is a bit of a question mark in terms of _what_ it is, exactly. And, well… Ilum.”

Rey’s eyes snap back to him, widening. _“Ilum?_ Starkiller Base?”

“Ilum was once the main site that Jedi apprentices traveled to in order to mine for the focusing crystals that would power their lightsabers,” Ben says. “Ilum was rich with them. I got my crystal there. And I’d place a big bet that the crystal in your lightsaber came from there as well.”

Rey briefly looks down at the Skywalker lightsaber, lying innocuously next to the deflector shield controls in front of her.

“There are other places to find crystals that will suffice for lightsabers,” Ben continues. “We’ll just have to get creative. When the time comes. _Should_ it come.”

“Right,” Rey says. “So Zakuul is a Force nexus?”

“Yes, but a rather unusual one,” Ben admits. “Reach out. Tell me what you can feel.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Rey close hers.

“It’s so strong,” she breathes. “It’s… _pulsing._ I can feel everything. Creatures, and clouds, and water and voices and breath and song and earth and…”

“And what about it?” Ben presses. “Ahch-To is also a Force nexus. Compare the two. Are they the same?”

“No,” Rey says at once, a frown appearing on her face. “No, there’s something… Something… Solid? About this place. It’s decisive, but it…”

She opens her eyes.

“Ahch-To has a Light presence,” Rey says, “And Zakuul doesn’t. But it isn’t dark, either. It’s… balanced.”

Ben grins. “You’re exactly right. There are a handful of planets in the galaxy that are Force nexuses without leaning more on the Light or the Dark Side of the Force. Looks like Zakuul is one of them; and I’d guess that’s why the Sith did not linger here. The Sith were absolutists, and would have no interest in a place that sought the positive qualities of the Light and Dark.”

“So the Dark has positive qualities?”

He looks at her.

She is not looking at him, but is instead focused on the planet outside, the endless mossy green.

It’s a good question.

“I think,” Ben says, carefully, “That Balance has a place in all things.”

It is not much of an answer, but it is the one he feels most prepared to give. Luke is a far better expert on navigating the Dark and the Light.

Ahead of them, the green begins to break off, as golden towers rise ahead.

Ben gets to his feet.

“Switch with me.”

Rey does so, sliding in front of him to clamber into the pilot’s chair. He remains standing, and stretches one hand up, to touch the top of the _Falcon,_ while the other moves down, to touch the control panel.

“What are you doing?” Rey asks.

“Trying something. Find us a place to land outside the city. Tap into the Force for guidance.” He glances at her. “Don’t sink us into a swamp.”

“I’ll do my best,” Rey says, sounding both fervent and sarcastic at once.

Ben closes his eyes.

He slips into the Force.

* * *

_“Ready or not! Here I come.”_

_Though he’s already well tucked away under the control panel, Ben squeezes himself in further, bending his eight-year-old spine in an almost bruising angle. He used to fit into the panel directly in front of the pilot’s seat without issue, but sometime in the past year he’s gotten too big for it. His feet hang out now, glaringly obvious._

_His father will only need to take one step into the cockpit to find Ben, and then this game of hide-and-seek will be over, and Bail, wherever he is, will be the winner._

_Ben bites his lip._

_He can hear Han’s loud, lumbering steps, likely exaggerated to give his young sons warning time before his arrival in their hiding spaces. Ben wiggles back as far as he can, but the metal of the_ Falcon _is hard and unyielding against his spine._

_His boots are still all too visible._

_Ben squeezes his eyes shut, one hand gripping the edge of the panel in front of him, the other tight on his own knee._

Hide, hide!

_He hears Han enter the cockpit. Ben holds his breath._

_“Huh,” Han mutters, an edge of surprise to his voice. There’s another moment where Han seems to be looking around._

_And then he leaves._

_Ben’s eyes fly open._

_His boots are still very obvious._

_Yet Han somehow didn’t see him._

* * *

Ben doesn’t open his eyes until the beam of starlight slips across his vision, and Rey’s hand touches his chest.

“Ben?”

He blinks.

She’s landed them in a thicket, surrounded on all sides by mind-bendingly tall, overgrown green trees. The thicket itself is overgrown, bushes and grass brushing up against the transparisteel window, and Ben is sure the entry ramp will be immediately swallowed up the second they open it.

It’s a good landing spot; an excellent place to hide.

“Are you okay?” Rey asks.

“Fine,” Ben says, lowering his arm from the ceiling.

“What were you doing?”

“Trying to hide us.”

Rey stares. “You can do that?”

“Sometimes,” Ben admits. “I can usually hide myself pretty well; or I could, at least. Been a while since I tried it. And I could really only hide myself physically; I’m sure you’d still be able to find me through the Force, no problem.”

“But you’d be invisible?”

“Not _invisible,_ exactly… That would require mastering _altus sopor,_ and like I said, even Luke can’t do that. It’s more like a really efficient camouflage.”

“So you just camouflaged the _Falcon?”_

“Tried to,” Ben says, emphasizing the _tried_ part. “I don’t know if it worked. Probably. I know that anyone running a scan on approaching ships still pinged us; I’m definitely not that good. But maybe they would’ve just written it off as a blip.”

Rey considers this.

“Was it necessary?” she asks. “I know we’re being careful here, but do we really need to hide the ship?”

Ben offers her a shrug.

“Probably not,” he says. “But this kind of Corellian freighter has long been discontinued. And considering what happened with the Guavian Death Gang out past Jakku… I don’t trust my father’s character enough to believe he never made any enemies that might have found their way to Zakuul.”

* * *

“All roads on Zakuul lead to the Spire,” Ben says, pushing through the grass that rises a solid two feet over his head. “So it makes sense that we go there to get what we need.”

He cannot see Rey as much as hear her, pushing through the growth behind him, determined to make her own path rather than step through the grass he’s already treaded on. Due to this, she’s walking a bit more slowly than him; the difference in their heights never seems as profound as when they’re traveling through dense nature.

She emits a muffled curse every now and then, ranging from Huttese to Toydarian to languages he doesn’t recognize, and he smiles every time.

“I don’t know much about it,” Ben admits, aware that Rey might not be able to hear him over the sound of their feet crushing the grass, their arms brushing it aside. “Just that it’s considered to be the capital city, and it’s got a very tall tower in the center; hence the name, the Spire.”

 _“Fierfek,”_ Rey spits, and Ben laughs, turning on the spot, and catching Rey’s hand before she can smack him rather than the tall plant stalks she was aiming for.

“Just half an hour ago, you were admiring how green this planet is.”

Rey glares up at him. Surrounded on all sides by dark green ferns and leaves, the bits of hazel and emerald in her eyes are pronounced, and he is enchanted. 

“It wasn’t my idea to land in the _middle_ of it,” she complains.

Ben supposes that’s fair.

“Isn’t there some kind of Jedi trick that would make this trek easier for us?” Rey asks.

“Probably,” Ben allows. He can think of one or two. “But it’s important to hone your non-Force strengths, Rey. If you don’t; that’s how you get complacent. We’ve spent the last two weeks doing very little other than working with the Force. It’ll do us good to get by without it.”

“Easy for you to say,” Rey mutters.

He reaches forward, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, and pulling her into his side. 

“Walk _with_ me,” Ben murmurs. 

She stiffens for a moment.

Ben forgets, he thinks, that Rey went without human touch for a very long time; or, if not human touch, than any kind of affectionate or companionable touch. And this has not been Ben’s experience. He has always reached out for loved ones, everyone from his brother to his parents to his uncle to his Jedi classmates to the veritable squadron of friends that made up the extended Organa/Solo family. It is simply not in Ben’s nature to avoid contact, or shun it, or feel uncomfortable with it. And it was this that did contribute to his frequent suicidal ideation during his six years of complete isolation.

To spend so long without touch or care had cut him deeply. He knows he is being greedy about it now.

He just wishes to be close to Rey, to reach out for her, and not only for her blinding, undeniable starlight that is her presence in the Force. He wants to touch _her;_ her oddly styled yet soft brown hair, her corded and lean arms, her bewilderingly long legs, her achingly soft skin, all of her body heat that draws him in. If she is here, he wishes to be next to her, as close as she will allow.

He needs to remember that she might not always want him close to her, that she may desire her own space above all else, including him.

“Is this okay?” he asks, his fingers brushing her shoulder, to make sure she knows what he’s talking about.

In the swampland of Zakuul, Rey relaxes, and wraps her arm around his waist.

“Yeah,” she says, softly, and he wonders if she went through her own self-reflection as he did just then with his own. “Let’s go.”

* * *

The Spire is a much bigger city than Ben would have guessed, going off the very little information he had about Zakuul and its capital.

The city’s namesake is also taller than Ben could have guessed, or even imagined; it stretches impossibly high into the pale sky, disappearing through the clouds and into the atmosphere itself. Rey practically bends her spine in half in an effort to track the tower’s height, while Ben takes a glance around the city they’ve entered.

All of the buildings are either painted in a sheen of gold, or made of actual gold. They catch on the dim sun’s light, rays illuminating the streets and people in prisms of golden light. The majority of the city’s occupants are humans, mostly dressed in familiar, casual clothes that Ben would see in just about any other Outer Rim capital. The second biggest population is Nautolan, and Ben thinks he should have been able to anticipate as much; Nautolans are amphibious beings that establish their homes in wetlands and swamps, and Zakuul likely makes an alluring location.

Rey’s eyes are very wide at the sight of the Nautolans, and Ben realizes she might never have seen one before; Nautolans would never step foot on Jakku, an arid desert wasteland. The head-tresses alone are reason enough to stare.

Ben squeezes Rey’s hand, tight in his, and she returns to herself.

“I’m going to do something,” he murmurs. “Don’t panic.”

“What--”

Her grip turns vice-like around his fingers.

 _“Oh,”_ Rey breathes. “You’re gone.”

“Force Concealment,” Ben confirms.

He’s been practicing at it, to the point it’s become just as effortless as walking. It is still gratifying to know that anyone who might encounter him here, on this Force-sensitive world, would not be able to pick up on his own affinity for the Force.

Their chances of running into the First Order, into _Kylo Ren,_ are practically impossible. But Ben is paranoid.

“You’re good at that,” Rey murmurs. “Hiding yourself. Disappearing.”

He untethered himself from the Force for six years, in an effort to hide himself from his own brother and Snoke, sacrificing his connection to the rest of his family and the entire _galaxy_ to do so. And on their way into this very planet, he made their ship practically invisible to a wandering eye. And now here, in the middle of a bustling capital city, he’s hidden from anyone searching for him in the Force.

Rey, Ben knows, is not wrong here. He is good at hiding.

“I’ve had some practice,” Ben says, softly.

It is Rey’s turn to squeeze his hand comfortingly.

They walk further into the city.

The architecture of the city mostly consists of skyscrapers and odd pyramid-shaped buildings stacked on top of each other, stretching higher and higher into the sky. Every now and then, Ben will catch a glimpse of a mass of darkness, interspersed only with thin lights, under the edges of the paved streets. He isn’t sure, but he guesses these are the remnants of the original city of Zakuul that was crushed (metaphorically and, evidently, literally) by the rise of the Eternal Empire and the Spire. It reminds him of the Coruscant Underworld; he wonders if the underground city of Zakuul is similarly dominated by criminals.

If they were not here with a “get in, get out” mentality, he’d take some time to explore it.

But they do not have that kind of luxury.

He draws comfort from the feel of his lightsaber, tucked under his jacket.

Deeper into the city, they find what they came here for: an open-air market, lit up in the sun and the gold of the buildings around it.

“Okay,” Ben says, leaning down so Rey can hear him over the bustle of the area. “Let’s stick to the outskirts of the market and deal only with the food stands that contain foods we recognize. We only have New Republic credits, which might narrow down who we can buy from. Keep your eyes peeled for anything hostile; and that includes people who look like they have bad blood with the Jedi.”

“Is that likely?” Rey asks, her eyes panning around the market, taking it all in.

“The Jedi have not always had a good reputation, particularly among Outer Rim systems,” Ben murmurs. “They were often accused of not doing enough for the planets out there, who were caught up in wars and slavery.”

Rey nods, her eyes turning somber. “That seems understandable.”

“Hopefully we won’t be recognizable as Jedi,” Ben continues. “We aren’t dressed like the Jedi of the Old Republic did. But all the same…”

“Be careful,” Rey finishes.

“And stay close to me. Please.”

She shadows him through the market. Zakuul is not as diverse as most Outer Rim worlds would be, and Ben chalks this up to Zakuul’s isolation. There is not much to draw a casual spacer here, save for a brief pit stop between destinations, such as why Ben and Rey are here in the first place. The full-time residents of Zakuul are easy to recognize, as they look to be the ones accompanied by creatures. Ben grips Rey’s sleeve as they pass by a Ycaqt, a massive orange creature that blinks at them with dull eyes, a farmer sitting on its back, and similarly giant Sureggi, pulling carts full of wares and supplies.

“This is amazing,” Rey breathes.

Ben smiles.

They visit several food stalls, where it is quickly revealed that Rey is the far better haggler than Ben. Her quick wits come into play, her subtle acting (a flash of rolled eyes, a hint of pursed lips, a glance to a different stall) making her counteroffers more enticing. Ben is content to hang back and let her deal, dutifully taking the food she hands him and giving her credits in exchange.

“Your mum gave you all these?” Rey asks, in between transactions, twisting a credit chip between her fingers.

“Some are mine,” Ben says, as it’s true; he was never _rich_ while living independently, cut-off from his family, but he wants to make it clear that he can fend for himself. “But yes, my mother gave us some as well. If it makes you feel better, you can think of them as part of my inheritance.”

“Your inheritance?”

Ben runs a hand over the back of his neck, feeling a little awkward. “The Organas were savvy with their wealth, and tied it up in multiple systems in the Core Worlds; even when Alderaan was destroyed, the House of Organa maintained its status. And my mother has made critical investments in various accounts around the galaxy.”

The bulk of the money is used these days to fund the Resistance.

It’s a cause that Leia is certain her parents, early supporters of the Rebel Alliance, would have approved of.

Ben glances at Rey.

She is staring down at the chip in her hand. Ben realizes, suddenly, that Rey has probably never held this much money before in her life.

“Remind me to thank her,” she says, quietly.

“The Jedi were once funded by the Republic,” Ben says, and she looks at him. “My mother was planning to introduce a similar system, once Luke had trained enough Knights to go on missions on behalf of the Republic. She hadn’t managed to get it organized, before…”

He trails off.

He doesn’t need to finish the sentence.

Rey takes his hand.

* * *

While Rey dives into an argument with a Nautolan over the price of bread, Ben walks a couple stalls over, to a stall filled with teas and caf grounds, in an effort to find Luke’s beloved hot chocolate.

He understands it, mostly; why Luke is attached to the drink. He imagines it acts as a comfort food for Luke, and it is definitely not Luke’s fault that Ben can clearly remember Han making fun of him for it.

A quieter part of Ben remembers how Luke used to keep hot chocolate pods on hand at the Temple. Remembers how Luke was quick to brew a mug for an apprentice when they’d had a difficult day or were missing home. It is incredibly easy to understand why Luke might be craving it now, when he’s prepared to spend the rest of his life on the island.

 _What happens,_ Ben wonders, _When Rey is knighted?_

What happens when there are more Jedi to be trained? Will they all have to go to Ahch-To? Or will they reopen Luke’s Temple?

Privately, Ben isn’t even sure _he_ can stomach returning to the Temple on Devaron. So maybe Ahch-To is the best bet.

Luckily, he won’t have to worry about this for a while.

The Zakuulan merchant gives him a courteous nod as he approaches. She’s an older woman, with straight white hair that falls to her waist, a lined tan face, and unusually big, dark blue eyes.

“What brings you to my stall today?” she asks.

“Hot chocolate pods, if you have them,” Ben replies. “And Gatalentan tea. If you have that.”

“Course,” the woman replies, setting about to gather the items. Ben watches as the woman moves, scooping the loose leaf tea into a small bag. He places a few credits on her table.

“You’ll want to keep a careful eye on that girl of yours,” she says suddenly, keeping her gaze down on her work.

Ben stiffens.

The urge to turn his head and seek out Rey is strong; he settles for reaching out for her in the Force. She’s near, and content.

“I’m not sure what you mean,” he says, looking up at the merchant.

“That girl is as bright as a supernova,” the merchant replies, meeting Ben’s gaze unflinchingly. “It’s been a long time since Zakuul has seen that kind of light. The Knights of Zakuul may be long gone, but their memory remains.” At Ben’s look, she clarifies, “Force-sensitive warriors who defended the Emperor of the Eternal Empire.”

“Different from the Jedi and the Sith?”

The merchant nods sagely. “The Knights believed the Force was a tool to be used to dispense justice; not something specifically for good or evil.”

“Is the Force commonly known here?” Ben wonders. Anyone Force-sensitive can easily feel Zakuul’s sharp presence, but he wonders what it might present as to someone lacking that sensitivity.

“It is less myth here than in other parts of the galaxy,” the merchant says. “Here, we do not treat Force-users like gods. Here, they are dispensers of justice. Would-be warriors of Zakuul, save for those who would be a Scion.” She stares directly at Ben, and he feels like she is looking straight into his soul. “Your girl; does she see the future?”

Ben stares back. “You can’t believe I’d answer that question.”

The merchant laughs. “Of course. Just note; if she is a Scion--one who can use the Force to see the future--then she is in even graver danger here. Zakuulans always seek to know their destiny.”

“The Force does not grant visions that always come true,” Ben says, slowly.

He knows this; knows this very well.

“The Knights believed otherwise,” the merchant replies. “As do a good number of the people here. The Scions were destroyed by their own comrades, after one had a vision that spelled doom for the Emperor here, so certain were they that it would come to pass.”

Ben raises an eyebrow. “That’s not how the Force works.”

“So a Jedi would believe,” the merchant muses. “But anyone who has studied the ways of the universe knows that we are but one of the infinite. In some universe, at some time, every vision will come to pass. The trick is to know; in which universe are we?”

His blood runs cold.

He thinks of his visions, those _visions…_

“Are _you_ a Scion?”

“Child,” the merchant drawls, “You can’t believe I’d answer that question.”

She holds out the hot chocolate pods and tea. Ben accepts them in numb hands. Before he can pull away, she seizes his wrist, turning his hand, bringing his palm face up. She bends, peering intently at the lines of his palm.

“You are a sun,” she notes, running one long, alarmingly cold finger down the middle of his hand. “Twin to a moon. Clinging to a star that you fear will leave you. Dark matter at your heels. You’ve got an entire galaxy on your shoulders. You should do well to remember that suns create their own light; you needn’t feel like you are walking in anyone’s shadow.” She looks up at him. “You are your own best thing.”

Ben jerks his hand back.

“Thank you for the tea,” he says, slowly.

“And the reading,” she replies. “Take care now, sun thing.”

* * *

Ben returns to Rey. He must look strange, for she gives him a double-take, looking between him and a bag of Jogan fruit and back again. He feels her reach out for him in the Force instinctively, only to hit the unknown that is his presence there currently.

“I’m okay,” he says, quietly. “Let’s not talk about it here.”

Rey gives him a brisk nod.

Laden with bags full of food and other supplies, they leave the marketspace. Ben takes Rey’s hand as usual, and she grips his back; even without the Force, she seems to be able to tell he needs the assurance. They walk down the gold-lit streets, past chattering Nautolans and humans, past a handful of those strange pyramid-shaped buildings, until they reach a beautifully manicured garden, empty save for a handful of people enjoying the late afternoon sunshine.

Ben finds himself moving into the garden, Rey following without complaint. He spots a bench in between two massive pots of blueblossoms and sits, Rey sliding down next to him.

“Ben?” she prompts.

“I just had a very strange interaction,” Ben says. “I was talking to this woman selling tea--I got the tea and hot chocolate, by the way--and when I was about to leave she suddenly grabbed my hand.” He holds his hand up for emphasis, and Rey frowns at it. “And she… Stared at it. And started telling me things about _me.”_

Rey blinks. “And?”

“And it was really weird!”

“Ben, have you never heard of a palm reader?”

“A _what?”_

Rey studies him, amused. “For all your knowledge of foreign cultures, you’ve really not heard of a palm reader?”

He shakes his head.

Rey takes his outstretched hand, placing it in her lap, and turning his palm up.

“This is your life line,” she says, running the tip of her index finger over the curved line near his thumb. “And your head line.” The shorter line above it. “And your heart line.” The longer line that runs the span of his palm. “Going off the way your heart line curves upward, I’d say you have a caring and understanding personality.” She looks up at him and grins, her eyes sparkling. “But I could have told you that without looking at your hand.”

He swallows. “What else does my palm say?”

“Your head line is broken here, see?” she asks, tapping the way the shorter line seems to be split. “That means you’re very good at what you do. Which also tracks; you’re a good Jedi.”

“If you say so.”

Rey frowns. “You _are,_ Ben.”

He can’t handle her ferventness. “And my life line?”

“Strong,” Rey says, “But this divot here indicates a cataclysm that’s changed its trajectory. I’m not sure what that means for the rest of it.”

“You got all of this from my _hand?”_

“Yes.” Rey pauses. “What did she say to you, Ben?”

“Things that were… mostly comforting, actually,” Ben says, slowly. “But honestly, the more interesting things she had to say were about visions. They must have something to do with her… palm reading.”

“Palmistry,” Rey corrects. “What about visions?”

Ben sighs.

“We haven’t talked about visions very much,” he says. “It’s a touchy subject with the Jedi.”

_And me._

“Force vision is when a Jedi gets a vision of the future,” Ben explains. “But it’s only a _possibility_ of a future; not set in stone. The future changes so rapidly we cannot receive a vision of it and think of it as fact. Visions do not come true because we wish or fear them.” He pauses. “The merchant has an interesting perspective. She told me that others who have studied the universe know that we are one of an infinite number, and that at some point, in some universe, the vision _will_ come to pass. The trick is to know in which universe we are.”

Rey nods, thoughtful. “That makes sense.”

Ben glances at her. “The Jedi would disagree with you.”

“I said it makes sense, not that I necessarily agree.”

Ben thinks they should discuss this more, but decides it isn’t the time. He isn’t ready.

“Rey,” he says. “How did you know about palm reading?”

“There was this woman I’d see around Niima Outpost,” Rey says, quietly, and Ben listens, because she so rarely discusses her life on Jakku. “She was very, very old. Incomprehensibly old, for someone who lives on Jakku. I’d look at her, and wonder if I was looking at my future.” Rey looks at him. “She saw me looking and told me to give her my hand, and she would predict my future.”

“What did she say?”

“That if I didn’t stop being afraid that I would die in the desert and be buried by the sand.”

Ben stares. Rey shrugs.

“It was the most likely future,” she says.

“Did she tell you what would happen if you stopped being afraid?” Ben wonders.

Rey’s gaze turns wide and distant, looking out over the beautiful garden, the lovely flowers, the well-manicured shrubs. 

“Something so wild and unknown that a woman who had never left Jakku could not even dream of comprehending it,” she whispers. She looks at Ben. “I’m still afraid. I don’t know what lies ahead of me; or even what is behind me.”

Ben takes her hand in his.

“We’ll find out where you came from,” he says, quietly. “The New Republic will get a result. You’ll find your homeworld.”

“Which I’d love to,” Rey says. “But what about my family? What about the questions I have for them? Why they… Why they…”

She can’t say it.

He won’t make her.

“Sometimes, we don’t get all the answers we seek,” Ben murmurs. “Some things remain mysteries forever.”

“How do I _bear_ it?”

Tears are sliding down her face. She has been thinking about this for a long time, Ben knows. She’s been reminded of it at some point recently; the loss, the ache. Her missing family.

“There is no emotion,” Ben whispers, “There is peace. There is no chaos, there is harmony.”

“There is no pain,” Rey says, “There is grace.” She swallows. “But I still… I feel it. I feel all of it. And I want to know, Ben, I need to know. I need to know if they really chose to leave me, or if they were forced to, or if they were going to come back. I need to know.”

“I don’t have those answers for you,” Ben says. “I don’t think anyone does.”

“Does the Force?”

He thinks about it.

“I think the Force can help you learn to live with your fears,” he says, slowly. “I think it can grant you solace. But I don’t know if it can show you what happened to your family.”

She wipes her eyes with the back of her free hand.

“I have to know, Ben,” she says, again.

“And I want to help you find out,” Ben says. “Once we find your homeworld, we can work backward from there, and find your family that way.”

He knows this answer is not satisfying enough. He knows it might not suffice.

But it is all he can offer her.

He can barely answer his own questions; he cannot understand why his brother left him. Why Bail chose Snoke over him.

These are questions Ben knows he will carry forever.

“I’ll stay with you, Rey,” Ben tells her, squeezing her hand. “As long as you want me. I won’t leave you. You’ll always have me.”

He knows it isn’t much.

He knows he isn’t enough.

His own brother walked away from him.

The best he can do is remind Rey of his presence, that he will stay with her as long as she wants him to, that he won’t leave her unless she asks him to. Now that he’s been close to her, and all her bright, overwhelming light; he cannot imagine walking away from it willingly.

The palm reader’s words return to him.

_“Clinging to a star that you fear will leave you.”_

_I am,_ Ben thinks.

How he is afraid to lose Rey.

_“Sometimes, it’s easier to lose the people we love to death,” Luke says. “That way, we know they could come back, in some form, in another life. It’s losing people in life that is harder. To know they could come back, but won’t.”_

Like Bail will never come back.

His worst memory, that night when the Temple burned and the rain fell and Bail was swathed in darkness and Ben’s heart was breaking and he was the last, the last one:

_Hansa laughs. “Run, Jedi.”_

_“You’re all alone,” Saffron calls._

And the memory where Kylo looked at the map with the missing piece, and Ben was there too, and despite it all, despite everything, Ben looked at their reflections and thought--

_“Come back.”_

How after all this time, Ben wishes Bail would come back.

He snaps out of his melancholy when he feels Rey’s fingers on his cheeks. He looks up at her.

“I know, Ben,” she whispers. “I know.”

There on that bench, in the garden, in the Spire, on Zakuul, Rey places both her hands on his face, and kisses him.

He kisses her back desperately, clutching her tightly to him, the bags filled with their things all but forgotten at their feet. He feels one of her hands slide around his neck to tangle in his hair, which is longer than ever, while her other hand remains on his face, her thumb brushing the skin under his eye. He leans in even closer, pulling her into his lap, bringing her as close as he can, because he doesn’t know any other way to love.

He can only love wholeheartedly, with everything he has, everything he is. He doesn’t know any other way.

He is not sure which member of his extended family tree that makes him.

His melancholic grandmother, dead in childbirth, who lost the will to live as her beloved Republic and husband fell to darkness.

His beloved father, dead at his son’s hands, disappearing into an abyss after being unable to convince his child to go home with him.

Or him, Ben Organa-Solo, whose heart was torn out of his chest by his twin, who spent six years in self-imposed solitude, who was nearly buried under the weight of his grief.

He thinks of the palm reader’s voice:

_“You are your own best thing.”_

_I don’t know what I am,_ Ben thinks. He only knows one thing.

“Rey?”

She leans back from him. Her face is flushed, her mouth red, and Ben thinks, _You are going to ruin me._

“I just…” he feels very young, far younger than his twenty-five years, but he thinks she deserves to know, as anyone deserves to know: “I love you.”

Her hazel eyes widen. Her mouth forms a little _oh_ shape.

“You don’t have to say it back,” Ben says, quickly. “You never do. Even if you someday… love me. You don’t ever have to say it. I just… I wanted you to know.”

He knows it’s too fast, too soon. He can’t help it.

Rey stares at him. Her elbows are on his shoulders, one hand in his hair, the other cupping the back of his neck, and yet she is the one who looks painfully vulnerable.

Slowly, she nods.

“Okay,” she whispers.

She presses her forehead to his, a benediction.

Ben feels very grateful.

* * *

They are walking back, hand in hand, to the _Falcon,_ when they jerk to a stop in unison.

Ben can see the top of the _Falcon_ over the grass. He looks away from this sight, to Rey. She’s staring at the _Falcon_ as well, and he knows she can feel them too.

He guesses there are four Mawvorr in the area. The _Falcon_ likely got their attention; he doubts anything dawdles in the Endless Swamp for long, that Zakuul’s full time residents know better than to inhabit the swamp itself. He can hear the Mawvorr sniffing around, little grunts and growls slipping to Ben and Rey through the weedy grass.

Rey pulls her lightsaber out from under her shawl, but Ben shakes his head, staying her hand.

“No,” he whispers. “Let’s send them to sleep.”

She frowns, confused. Ben jerks his head, and she follows him towards the _Falcon._

The first Mawvorr appears in front of them, its leathery skin a rugged green, allowing it to blend in quite well with the foliage. It’s gnawing on a stump, its deadly sharp teeth making ugly scratching noises.

Making sure Rey is watching, Ben acts.

First, he ends the Force Concealment, so Rey can feel what he’s doing.

And then he breathes, extends his hand, and curls his fingers.

The Mawvorr collapses, its mouth lolling open, a ragged snore spiraling out.

Ben looks at Rey.

Her eyebrows have soared, but there’s a hint of amusement in her features.

 _Your turn,_ he mouths.

He follows her through the brush. They find the second Mawvorr quick enough, this one a bit bigger than the first, licking its clawed foot under a tree. Rey and Ben crouch in the reeds to watch it. Rey lifts her hand, closes her eyes, and curls her fingers.

This Mawvorr doesn’t snore, but its sprawled position is as good a confirmation as any that it is fast asleep.

Rey beams.

They each take one of the other Mawvorr, until all the creatures are asleep, and Ben and Rey can scramble into the _Falcon_ unharmed.

“What was that, exactly?” Rey asks, as she pilots the ship to the stars, Ben watching her from the co-pilot’s seat.

“Force stun,” he replies. “It doesn’t hurt. It’ll disable an enemy, preventing them from moving, or knocking them fully unconscious. You just use the Force to induce an unconscious state. It’s long been a very popular defense among the Jedi; entirely unharmful, but quite effective.”

“Can you do it to people, too?”

Ben nods. “Just as easily.”

They break into the atmosphere, and Rey looks at Ben, her hands hesitating over the _Falcon’s_ controls. She clearly wants to try Instinctive Astrogation, but isn’t sure how.

“Reach out,” he says. “Let the Force guide you. Put your trust into it. Your senses will lead us back to Ahch-To.”

“Okay,” Rey murmurs, keeping her eyes locked ahead as she prepares to make the jump to lightspeed. “Stop me if I’m going to run us into an asteroid or star, okay?”

Ben leans back in his chair, tossing his feet up on the control panel carelessly, putting his arms behind his head. “I won’t need to. You can do this, Rey. I trust you.”

* * *

They arrive back on Ahch-To well after midnight. The sky is an inky black, lit only by stars, the planet’s single moon, and the lights of the _Millennium Falcon._ Rey lands the ship back in its original spot at the island’s edge. All is quiet; even the sea seems more still than normal.

With glowrods, they hike back up the hill to the village, which like the rest of the island, is completely dark. Ben expects Luke went to sleep hours before, in order to rise for his morning rituals of milking the thala-sirens, going fishing, and meditating without the Force.

The reveal that Ben and Rey managed to buy hot chocolate for him will have to wait for the morning.

Ben can’t wait to see his face.

They reach Rey’s hut, and she draws her blanket curtain open, using the glowrod to illuminate the dark space, empty save for the assorted blankets on the ground she’s used to make herself a kind of nest. Ben watches as she sets a few of their bags on one of the shelves inside, as she starts a small fire in the little firepit in the hut, before she straightens to look at him.

He smiles.

“Good night.”

He goes to walk away, to go to his own hut for the night, but Rey’s voice stops him.

“Ben.”

He turns around.

Rey holds his gaze, her chin lifted. He thinks she looks a little like she did when they first arrived on Ahch-To, and she stood in front of Luke, his lightsaber held aloft in her hand. She looked at Luke then with vulnerability, laced underneath by hard determination.

It is this same expression she gives Ben now, though the hand she extends towards him is empty. Reaching out, reaching for him.

Ben’s eyes flicker down to her open hand, and then to her eyes.

Even in the dark, she glows. He can see the desire mixed in with resolution.

“Rey,” Ben says, carefully. “You don’t owe me anything.”

“I know,” Rey says, and she sounds calm and sure, which is great, because he feels suddenly nervous. “I want to.” And then, to make sure he understands her perfectly, she adds, “I want you.”

And then, as if to remind him that she is also awkward and doesn’t quite know what to make of her feelings, she says, “But only if you do… Too.”

He does. He really, really does.

He walks back to her, and takes her hand.

She leads him inside.

* * *

_“You’ve a good heart, Ben. And it ain’t a weakness.”_

Rey’s hair is longer than Ben would have guessed, falling past her shoulders, edging towards her elbows. He runs his hands through it, admiring the way the chestnut color is magnified by the color of the fire behind her.

_“You’re warm.”_

Her legs are long and soft to the touch, but when he curves his palm around her knee, he feels the muscle coiled tight under her skin, that raw, undeniable strength that seeps out of her in the Force and in her wild personality. He is awestruck, and electric.

_“That while you think I’m bright; you’re warm to me. Like something comforting, something I want to stay close to. I’ve never felt anyone like you before.”_

She has constellations of freckles, _everywhere._ Three pebbled on her right shoulder blade. Eleven in a cluster on her left hip. A half a dozen running down the length of her spine, pooling at the small of her back. He presses his mouth to every one.

_“My best hope.”_

Rey’s eyes are wide open, pupils blown, shading her dark eyes further, and he is sure his match hers. Her hands are gripping his shoulders, her nails pressing deeply into his skin, leaving thin, crescent shaped marks; a physical symbol of the marks she is carving into him, his mind, his heart, whatever it is he is.

“Rey,” he breathes. “Rey.”

_“You are your own best thing.”_

Her breath is hot in his ear, and her hand scrabbles, finding his. Her fingers twine between his, and he clings to her.

_“Clinging to a star that you fear will leave you.”_

She is as close as she can be, legs and arms and hips and mouth, and he gives her everything he can, all of him, every memory and word and scar and fear and wish and dream and plea and future.

_“I love you.”_

He mouths the words into her forehead, whispers them into her collarbones, caresses them into the warm skin of her abdomen.

_“Stay with me.”_

_Stay with me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben's history of Zakuul is largely true to Old EU canon. But the palmistry is decidedly not and something I threw in for fun. I don't think it's too weird to think there is palmistry in the SW universe. Though Ben's palm reading is pretty detailed.
> 
> I really tried to write smut. I really tried. But I think this last scene is actually pretty descriptive, in that it accurately represents the way Ben thinks about love and sex and romance and how these three things are, to him, the same thing. He is someone who falls in love very quickly, and completely. Like, he's done. He's toast. The first thing he loved about Rey is her brilliant light; the second thing is her kind spirit; and the third thing is her physical beauty. Ben understands that this way of thinking is not terribly common, and also understands how it makes him very vulnerable; which, as someone whose defining personality trait is his carefulness, makes Rey pretty dangerous for him.


	6. Future History & Future Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey sees the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate Chapter Summary: The Shit Hits the Fan. (h/t @SuperficialOwl)

Rey wakes and is at first uncertain as to what has awoken her.

The sun, slipping through the blanket hanging over her door, is only misty, decidedly not brilliant enough to pull her from her previously deep sleep. She can hear the porgs outside, but their calls are no louder or irritating than usual. And she can definitely hear the wind and the sea, two sounds that she has always felt to be more calming than anything else.

Rey turns her head.

Ben is fast asleep behind her, his right hand and arm stretched towards her, his fingers brushing her bare shoulder, as if even unconscious he reaches for her. He breathes evenly and smoothly, his bare chest rising and falling languidly, lying on his side, face and body tilted towards her. In sleep, he looks young, five years younger, close to her own age.

She moves instinctively, taking Ben’s hand in hers, and pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

He doesn’t stir.

Smiling, she sits up.

And practically jumps out of her skin.

Kylo is sitting on one of the low shelves of the hut, staring, eyes flickering from her to Ben and back. He is, thankfully, fully dressed in his typical all-black uniform, gloves and boots and all. His hair is a little lankier than normal, his scar shinier compared to the rest of his skin. He catches her gaze, and his face turns bright red, and he looks down at his knees.

Rey _growls._

She stretches back, fumbling for her shirt, yanking it none too gently over her head. She shimmies into her trousers as best she can while remaining under the blanket, keeping her gaze locked on Kylo’s ducked head.

He looks back up when she wiggles her booted foot in front of him.

She jerks her thumb towards the door of her hut, as universal a sign as, _Outside!_ can really be. He gets to his feet.

Ben sighs, and Kylo and Rey freeze.

But he only rolls over, rolling onto his back, his left arm flopping to the side. He isn’t awake. Rey breathes again.

She clambers up, only then noticing that Kylo has not unfrozen.

His eyes are locked on his sleeping brother.

Rey tracks his gaze, and realizes Kylo is really staring at Ben’s bare left arm.

Namely, he is staring at the crook of Ben’s elbow, where a large, black, protruding round scar appears prominently on Ben’s otherwise pale and unblemished skin.

Rey knows exactly why Kylo cannot stop staring at this scar.

He was the one who put it on Ben, when he injected a neurotoxin into Ben’s veins that made him feel like his entire body was on fire. When Kylo was torturing him.

It is a physical reminder of that event that Ben will wear for the rest of his life.

Rey waves her hand in front of Kylo’s face until he looks at her.

Pointedly, she opens the curtain of her hut, and steps outside.

Kylo trails her.

She leads the way out of the village, down the dirt trail that leads in the direction of the Tree Library. It is a place Luke never ventures, and she is certain they will not be interrupted. As she walks, she becomes more aware of her dishevelment, of the love bites lingering on her neck and collarbones, of her messy and loose hair. She hurriedly begins to pull her hair back up in its normal three-bun style, if only to regain some of her control back.

She waits until she knows they’re out of sight of the village before turning on her heel to face Kylo.

She is ready to unleash on him, to yell, to demand to know how long he was there just _staring_ at them, but is stopped short by the look on his face.

He’s gazing out over the sea, though she knows for him it is only nothingness. There is something quietly devastated in his dark eyes, something morose, something empty. A kind of lost despair that Rey relates to on a visceral level.

Where is the _monster,_ where is the killer who stabbed Han, where is the villain she is eager to fight?

“I didn’t…” Kylo says, and stops.

His hands are tight in fists at his sides.

“I didn’t realize he would scar,” he says, quietly.

“It hasn’t faded at all,” Rey says, and is surprised by the gentleness of her voice. Kylo glances at her, wary. “It’s raised to the touch, engorged, almost. Ben insists it doesn’t hurt. But I’ve seen him running his hand over it, like he can’t help it. He’ll never be able to forget it’s there.”

“Neither will I, now,” Kylo whispers.

“Why did you do it?”

The question surprises her, though it does not seem to surprise Kylo. He looks away from the sea, back to Rey.

“I had to get the map,” he says, slowly. “We couldn’t risk the Resistance getting to Skywalker. He’s a symbol of hope for the galaxy; his image alone would cause uprisings in a hundred different systems, inspire recruitment for the Resistance in tens of others. Skywalker and… and General Organa are a formidable team.”

It is the first time Kylo has mentioned Leia to Rey. He seems to stumble over her name, settling for the title Rey imagines she is known to the First Order as.

Not _Mom,_ as Ben so fondly calls her.

“Ben was your brother,” Rey says. “He was your brother, and you _tortured_ him--”

“He _is_ my brother,” Kylo snaps. Some of the familiar fury returns to him, distorting his features, and it is a relief for Rey. _This_ is the Kylo Ren she knows how to handle. “We share the same face. I am his, he is mine.”

Rey scowls. “He isn’t yours. He used to be _Bail’s.”_

Kylo’s smile is dark; there is no humor in it. “Then Ben reaches only for a memory. If he were to let the past go--if he were to acknowledge that while the brother he knew is gone that I… That _I_ am here, then--”

“What do you have to offer?” Rey asks, more confused than anything else. “What do you want from him?”

“What I have always wanted from him.”

“Which is?”

Kylo hesitates.

His cheeks hollow out, his eyes dim. In the morning sunlight, he looks very exposed, and oddly young, as Ben does when he is speaking a truth he finds painful.

“To stay,” Kylo whispers. “I have only ever wanted him to stay with me.”

Rey stares.

“But you… You left him,” she says, slowly.

Kylo’s eyes flash.

“He left me _first,”_ he snarls, snarling like a wounded creature does when confronted with a predator. Snarls because anger is the only thing it has left in its arsenal to defend itself. “It was him and me, it was _us,_ and when the time came for us to rise and become who we were meant to me, he refused. He backed down. He stepped back. That night, in the rain, I stood in the dark and watched my brother reject me. He left me alone. He left me to _Snoke.”_

He spits the word; it is the first time she’s heard him speak in less than respectful terms for the Supreme Leader of the First Order.

“It was the both of us,” Kylo says, speaking quickly and emotionally, like a dam has broken and he has decided he can be candid. “The two of us, listening to the Supreme Leader, dreaming the same nightmares, hearing the same whispers. Until it _wasn’t._ Until Ben stopped hearing The Voice, until it was only _me in the dark!”_

He falls silent, like his voice has been abruptly torn from his throat.

He shakes his head, puts his hands on his hips, and turns away from Rey.

“Kylo,” Rey whispers. “Have you told him this? Have you told him how you feel?”

Ben, in his surreal kindness, patience, generosity; Rey has no doubt that if Ben could see Kylo now, see the pain and the grief that spills from his brother, that he would immediately reach for him. Ben would seek to understand.

What was it Luke had said about Ben, that first day on the island?

_“Ben is looking for answers, and closure, and absolution.”_

This side of Kylo seems to have all three of those things.

“I can’t reach him,” Kylo murmurs. “He’s closed off to me. It’s never been like this before. It was one thing when he was fully closed from the _Force;_ but he is on that island, he is with Luke, he is clearly with you… And yet I feel like he’s a ghost. He’s…”

Kylo trails off.

His eyes are wide, and red. His hands tremble.

Rey can only gawk.

He simply does not compute with what she knows of Kylo Ren. What she has seen. What she has been told.

“I don’t understand,” she breathes.

Kylo looks back up at her. His brown eyes are so familiar, and fervent, and striking.

“Look what’s become of me, Rey,” he whispers. “Let the past die. Or else it will destroy you. And seek out the truth; before the lie can turn you insane.” He steps closer, and Rey holds her ground, staring up at him with her own wide eyes.

“Reach out, Rey,” Kylo says. “You would not believe the things that can be true. Let the Force show you; let _all_ of the Force show you. Uncover your own future; step into your destiny.”

He disappears.

Rey is left staring into misty air.

* * *

Later, she finds Ben in the cove, sitting on a rock ledge, his legs below his knees submerged into the water below. He’s got a small woven basket filled with dead scalefin fish, and it takes her a moment to realize he’s skinning them. The small silver knife in his hand flashes, dripping with dark green scales, pooling into the sea at his feet.

He looks up when he hears her approach.

“Hey,” he says, offering her a small, shy smile. His hair is wavier than normal, tossed around his head with the ocean breeze. He pushes it impatiently out of his eyes with his hand. “Where did you go?”

She shrugs, unsure she can speak, hesitant about what she can say.

“Did you want to practice swimming again?” he asks.

She had mentioned to Ben during their first flight to Ahch-To from D’Qar that she didn’t know how to swim. He hadn’t been surprised; a scavenger from a desert wasteland had no reason to know. But Ben had been very concerned about this lack of ability, and Rey supposes that makes sense. The island is surrounded on all sides by a wild ocean. It’s quite dangerous for Rey to be running around without knowing how to survive if she were to fall into it. She practices every now and then, under his watchful eye, in between Jedi lessons.

Rey hesitates, looking at the dark blue sea in front of the rock that Ben is sitting on. In the cove, it’s quite calm.

“Let me try on my own, first?” she asks.

He nods. “Reach out if you need me. I won’t go anywhere.”

“Okay.”

She kicks her boots off, and then pulls her shirt and pants off, leaving her only in her underwear. She crouches on the rock, and slips into the water below.

It’s cold, colder than she expected, and she gasps, causing Ben to grin at her. He’s making a big effort at appearing nonchalant, but he’s set the knife down, his other hand gripping the rock ledge like he’s preparing to dive into the sea after her. She gives him a firm nod, and then sinks into the water.

It is very quiet under the waves.

She lets herself float down, watching the little bubbles that slink out of her nose, staring underwater in surprise. She’d thought there would be lots to look at, but there really isn’t much. Just more of the same black rock, more ugly seaweed, mud and grit. A few small schools of fish swim nearby, but most of them avoid her and the movements she makes to undercut the natural current.

She swims back up to the surface.

“That was good,” Ben says.

Rey nods.

She treads water, looking at the way Ben’s feet become distorted under the clear waves.

“Ben,” she says. “Did the Dark Side ever call to you?”

She feels Ben tense up.

Carefully, she raises her eyes.

Ben is not looking at her. He’s suddenly become quite interested in the knife in his hand.

“Yes,” he says, after a long moment, evidently deciding honesty is his best bet here.

Rey wonders if she should feel hurt for his hesitation.

“What did you see?”

“Terrible things,” Ben says, softly, and she has to strain to hear him over the lapping water. “Things I didn’t know I feared until I saw them.” He looks at her. “The Dark Side has a lot to say, Rey. It can’t realize all of them. You shouldn’t ever put too much stock into it. It’s far better to put your faith into people over anything the Force can show you.”

“Like answers,” Rey murmurs.

_“You think the Dark Side could answer that for me.”_

_“I think the Light could, as well,” Luke hastens to add. “But perhaps in not as straight-forward a way as you are hoping. Perhaps in a way that is not as promising.”_

“Ben,” Rey presses. “Ben, what did you _see?_ What did you see that was so terrible?”

 _“Reach out, Rey,” Kylo says. “You would not believe the things that can be true. Let the Force show you; let_ all _of the Force show you. Uncover your own future; step into your destiny.”_

“Did you see the future?” Rey asks. 

_“Not a Force vision?” Luke asks, voice hard._

_Ben shakes his head. “No, I’ve experienced Force visions before… This was different. Almost like a mind meld, but… unconsciously.”_

_“Force vision?” Rey repeats._

_“Visions of events yet to come,” Ben explains. “Glimpses of the future. But not always accurate.”_

“Did the Force show you something that could happen?” Rey asks.

_“Force vision is when a Jedi gets a vision of the future,” Ben explains. “But it’s only a possibility of a future; not set in stone. The future changes so rapidly we cannot receive a vision of it and think of it as fact. Visions do not come true because we wish or fear them.” He pauses. “The merchant has an interesting perspective. She told me that others who have studied the universe know that we are one of an infinite number, and that at some point, in some universe, the vision will come to pass. The trick is to know in which universe we are.”_

“It isn’t important now,” Ben says, after a tense silence. “None of it came to pass, and none of it will. What matters is remaining in the present. Not lingering back in the past, and not allowing myself to fit into the shape of a future I might have seen.”

And Kylo had said basically the same thing; save that he encouraged her to see all of what the Force had to offer her.

“What do you think the Dark Side would show me?” Rey wonders.

“Nothing worth believing.”

 _That’s not good enough,_ Rey thinks.

She is filled with confusion. She needs so many answers.

Ben gets to his feet.

“Luke should be back in the village, now,” he says. “You should give him the hot chocolate.”

He holds his hand out, but she ignores it, pulling herself out of the sea.

* * *

As Ben predicted, Luke is in the village.

But he isn’t alone.

R2-D2 is beeping cheerily, whirring around the firepit, and testing out all of his ports and gadgets to Luke’s clear delight.

 _“Artoo?”_ Ben exclaims, and the droid turns on the spot, sees Ben, and calls back, _Ben!_

Rey has never heard Ben laugh like this; loud, elated, almost childlike. He races to the droid’s side, dropping to his knees as the droid approaches him.

 _You’ve gotten big,_ R2-D2 says.

Ben beams. “I have. It’s so good to see you. It’s been a long time.”

_What happened? I remember Luke going to confront Bail._

Both Luke and Ben stiffen.

 _Where are we now?_ R2-D2 continues. _Why are we here?_

R2-D2’s lens turns, and focuses on Rey.

_Who are you?_

“I’m Rey,” Rey says, stepping forward. She is aware that her hair is dripping, her skin wet, her clothes sopping wet and creased. But she can’t stop her wide grin as R2-D2 approaches her, until she’s looking down at him and he up to her.

 _Hello, Rey,_ R2-D2 says. _Are you a Jedi, too? Is this Luke’s new Temple?_

“Um…” She hesitates, looking at Luke and Ben.

“Rey’s an apprentice,” Ben tells the droid. “And yes; she will be a Jedi.”

_Stellar._

Rey laughs.

 _I’m still confused,_ R2-D2 says, and he turns back to Luke this time, bypassing Ben entirely. _What did Bail say when you went to talk to him? Where is he?_

Rey looks at Luke as R2-D2 speaks.

Luke’s eyes are hard, his mouth thin. His earlier joy at interacting with his droid has disappeared, a silent cloud slipping over the sun.

“Yes,” Ben says, quietly. “What _did_ Bail say?”

There is uncertainty on Ben’s face, and it makes Rey stare at him.

 _Did Luke not tell you, either?_ Rey wonders.

It was one thing for Luke to not give Rey all the details of his last encounter with Bail. It is another thing for Luke to withhold information from Ben.

_“Did Luke tell you what happened?” Kylo asks, abruptly. “The night I destroyed his Temple? Did he tell you why? Even Ben doesn’t know the whole story.”_

“He turned on me,” Luke tells R2-D2 now. “He pulled the roof of his hut down on me. He killed several of the apprentices, and took the others. Ben was the only one left.” He glances up, and it is Ben’s turn to look away, his hand tightening into a fist. “And I… I left. I came to this island, and I’ve been here ever since. Ben and Rey brought you back to me.”

“We’ve been trying to get him to come back to the Resistance with us, once Rey is trained up,” Ben says, and R2-D2 swivels to look at him. “No luck so far.”

When R2-D2 turns back to Luke, moving with a hint of purpose, Luke glares. “Nothing you can say will change my mind.”

R2-D2 doesn’t say anything.

Instead, there is the soft whirr of his insides moving, data chips shuffling, and he emits a shaking beam of blue light onto the stone ground. A slim figure dressed in white rises to her feet.

“Years ago, you served my father in the Clone Wars. Now he begs you in his struggle against the Empire. It hurts me not to be able to fulfill my father’s request in person--”

“This is a cheap move,” Luke says, in a grunted aside to R2-D2.

“... I fear my mission to bring you to Alderaan has failed. It is our most desperate hour. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.”

Though the woman in the hologram is fuzzy and highlighted in blue, Rey can recognize something in the shape of her lips and the size of her eyes. She sees them reflected in the young man who is still kneeling on the ground, staring in amazement at her image.

“That’s Leia,” Rey says, unnecessarily. “When was this?”

“Kriff,” Luke breathes, running a hand through his gray hair. “Forty years ago? Leia had stolen the Death Star plans, and placed them in Artoo for safe-keeping, sending him to Tatooine to find Obi-Wan Kenobi; a Jedi Knight who her father trusted to deliver the plans to the Alliance.”

“Obi-Wan Kenobi,” Rey repeats. 

_“At the height of their power,” Luke interrupts, speaking fluidly now, “They allowed Darth Sidious to rise, create the Empire, and wipe them out. And it was a Jedi Master who was responsible for the training of Darth Vader; a Jedi Master named Obi-Wan Kenobi.”_

Ben sighs.

“A Jedi Master of the Old Republic,” he explains. “One of the few survivors of Order 66, the command from the Emperor that led to the execution of every Jedi in the galaxy. Obi-Wan went into exile on Tatooine, to look after Luke, who was the son of Obi-Wan’s apprentice: Anakin Skywalker. My mother entrusted the Death Star plans to him when she was captured by the Empire, with her plan being that Obi-Wan would take them to her father, on Alderaan. Alderaan was annihilated before he could get there.”

“Good thing too,” Luke comments. “If Obi-Wan had been on Alderaan when it was destroyed, then I would’ve been, and Han would’ve been, and you would never have been born.”

Ben rolls his eyes.

“Obi-Wan… trained Darth Vader?” Rey asks.

“He didn’t mean to,” Ben says, at the same time as Luke says, “You could think of it that way.”

Rey and Ben look at him.

“Master Kenobi--” And Rey finds it interesting how Luke slips into the honorific, while Ben refers to the Jedi Master by his first name “--Felt tremendous guilt over what became of his apprentice. He ultimately chose to go into hiding on Tatooine, believing it would be best that he remove himself from the galaxy as much as he can. Master Yoda did something similar, on Dagobah.” Luke looks up, and he stares directly at Rey as he speaks, “And as I do now.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Ben says, softly. “Bail made his choice.”

Luke looks down, meeting Ben’s sympathetic gaze. He gives him a terse nod.

He looks back up, to find Rey staring at him.

“You’ve still not had any luck reaching Leia?” Luke asks.

“No,” Ben confirms, getting to his feet, wiping dirt off the knees of his pants.

 _Where is Leia?!_ R2-D2 demands.

“Not sure,” Ben says, and he begins to walk to his hut, and the droid trails after him. “We left the Resistance a few weeks ago, but Mom promised to be in touch…”

His voice fades as he goes inside.

It is only Rey and Luke standing in the sun, next to the firepit.

“Do Jedi Masters always go into exile when their apprentices turn on them?” Rey hears herself ask.

Luke shrugs. “Mine did. It’s like I told you, Rey, during our second lesson: the legacy of the Jedi is failure.”

“And hypocrisy,” Rey whispers, filling in the rest of Luke’s speech to her in the Temple. “And hubris.”

Luke studies her.

She wonders what he sees.

She suddenly knows, clearly and wholeheartedly, what she needs to do now. She thinks she’s been walking towards this path the second she stepped on the island for the first time.

_I need answers. I need the truth._

_The whole truth._

_All of it._

And she knows exactly where to go to get it.

The cave under the island.

But first, she needs to think. And have another calm, nice day, with Ben.

She’ll go to the cave tomorrow.

* * *

“What are the Jedi Trials, exactly?”

The sun is soft overhead, and Rey and Ben lie in the tall grass, staring up at it. A handful of clouds obscure the power of the sun’s sheer rays, and on the horizon, Rey can see a tumble of dark clouds, an evening or night storm rolling in. But for the moment, it is afternoon, and she is warm.

And a little sweaty.

She thinks Ben looks far too tranquil for someone who just spent the last hour and a half sparring nonstop.

“Five separate Trials, technically,” Ben says. His hair is loose and long, and he frequently stretches an arm up to brush it out of his eyes. “Skill, Courage, Spirit, Flesh, and Insight.”

“And if you pass them, you become a Jedi?”

“A Knight. No longer a Padawan.”

Rey frowns. “Neither you nor Luke have called me a Padawan. Is that wrong?”

Ben laughs; Rey feels his heart move with it under her palm, cradled in Ben’s hand on his chest. “Rey, _nothing_ about your training has been by-the-book. You’re an Apprentice. If you want us to call you a Padawan, I’m sure Luke would be amenable.”

“I’ll pass,” Rey replies. Of the things she wishes to get Luke to acquiesce to, her title is not very high on the list. “So what exactly do the Trials test? How are they different?”

“Skill is probably the most obvious,” Ben says. “You have to prove your competence with a lightsaber. Courage indicates you have fortitude in the face of danger and debilitating odds. Spirit tests your ability to handle internal battles. Flesh shows you have the capability to overcome immense pain. And Insight confirms you can distinguish reality from illusion.”

Rey considers this. “But… What _are_ they exactly?”

“It’s different for everyone. No two Jedi are the same; so no two Trials are the same.”

“Even yours and Bail’s?”

Ben glances at her.

She is not in the business of referring to his brother by his birth name. 

“Ours were different,” Ben confirms. “Save for the Trial of Skill, I expect; all the Knights had to duel Luke.”

“So I’ll have to as well?”

“Maybe,” Ben says, with a shrug. “But he has another option now, which he didn’t when he was training his first group of Jedi.” He looks at Rey, offering her a crooked grin. “He has me.”

Rey groans, glancing at where they’d deposited their lightsabers in the grass. “I need more practice.”

“Sure,” Ben allows, smiling wider at Rey’s unimpressed look. “But honestly, I think you’ve already passed your Trial of Skill.”

“How so?”

“When you defeated Kylo Ren on Ilum.”

This gives Rey pause. “But I wasn’t an apprentice then.”

“True. But the Jedi of the Old Republic would consider an apprentice’s training history when planning their Trials. Defeating a Dark Force user on your own would certainly count for a successful Trial of Skill.” Ben pauses. “It counted as one for Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

“Darth Vader’s Jedi Master.”

“Yes. He defeated a Sith Lord while he was still an apprentice. He became a Knight almost immediately after. And took my grandfather on as his apprentice.”

“So soon?”

Ben’s smile is wry. “Luke thinks we’re missing some history there. He had to dig deep into Imperial Archives to even find out this much about Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan isn’t very forthcoming about his time as a young Jedi Knight.”

“Isn’t,” Rey says, softly. “You said; he _isn’t._ But isn’t he dead?”

Ben turns somber. “When the Jedi say, ‘There is no death, there is the Force’? They aren’t really speaking in metaphorical terms. It’s possible for Jedi who have passed on to return, briefly, to commune with the living. Obi-Wan and Yoda have both appeared to Luke; that was only how he was able to complete his training.”

“What, like ghosts?” Rey asks, startled.

She thinks of earlier, how Kylo described Ben as a _ghost_ because of how he hasn’t been able to find him in the Force.

“No,” Ben says, voice firm. “They aren’t restless. They’re at peace. They just come every now and then to offer guidance.”

“Have they appeared to you?”

A hint of longing crosses Ben’s face.

“No,” he murmurs. “No. I hope they will. Someday. Maybe I’m just not ready to hear them yet.”

Rey frowns. Ben seems the most _ready_ person she knows. If Obi-Wan and Yoda are waiting for something, waiting for _Ben_ to do something; she has no idea what it could be.

“My mother named me after Obi-Wan,” Ben says, suddenly.

“I think Luke mentioned that, briefly,” Rey notes.

“Yeah. His nickname was Ben. No idea how he got that from Obi-Wan, but I appreciate it.” Rey laughs, and Ben’s warmth returns, his uncertainty disappearing like a stormcloud in a blue sky. “I’d really like to talk to him. I think he would have some wise things to say. Particularly as… As he was very close to my grandfather, before he turned. They were like brothers.”

_Oh._

Rey understands exactly why speaking to a Jedi Master who lost their brother to the Dark appeals to Ben so much.

“Obi-Wan and Anakin were hugely popular Jedi during the Clone Wars,” Ben says, and he starts speaking quickly, his enthusiasm for history overwhelming his melancholy. “They were all over the Republic holonet, stories and reports of their heroics. They called Anakin ‘The Hero With No Fear’; they said he was brave to the point of recklessness, but all his daring stunts ultimately worked out. And they called Obi-Wan ‘The Negotiator’; they said he was an incredibly powerful, brilliant Jedi who would do everything he could before he would pick up his sword. That when he did pick up his sword, he was an amazing warrior.” Ben’s smile is a little wistful. “Skywalker and Kenobi. An inseperable, unstoppable team.”

And there are clear parallels to the story of Bail and Ben Organa-Solo in the history of Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi.

 _What is that like,_ Rey wonders, _to have your ancestor’s famous history replayed in your own tragedy?_

She has no ancestors to compare her life to.

And she wishes she did; she wishes this so much. She thinks a blueprint wouldn’t be too bad right about now; a sign that she is on the right path, that she knows where she is to go next. Someone to offer her comfort, when she is lost and confused. A fact that she can turn things around like someone before her managed to.

“Rey?”

She blinks.

Ben is looking at her, concern darkening his features.

Concern, and--

_“Oh!”_

Rey jumps to her feet, grinning. A cloud overhead has parted, and for the first time, she can clearly see the two suns of Ahch-To.

“Look at that,” Ben drawls. “Luke wasn’t kidding after all.”

Both suns are thin and a little wispy looking, and Rey can’t help but be amazed that they manage to create so much light while appearing so frail.

“Jakku only has one sun,” Rey says, turning to Ben. He’s peering up at her from the grass, squinting a little, like she is also a sun. “But it was powerful. Really overbearing and just… It suffocated everything. I always thought all suns were like that. But these suns are… not. Kind of gentle, really.”

_“The sun will keep you safe.”_

Those words, her first memory.

Her heart soars with a new thrill.

Might the Force be able to place the voice for her? Could it show her who had said it? Give her a face, a name, a person?

She turns to Ben, to ask, to find out how she might be able to dive into the Force to get her answers, but stops short.

Ben, for all his enthusiasm for teaching; he shies away from dealing with things the Force can actually _show_ Rey. He relies instead on what he can feel, what he can reach out and touch. He picks and chooses things from the Force, without looking at _all_ of it. She doesn’t know why, only that something happened once to make him like this; or it was something he saw that has made him so reticent.

She knows he wouldn’t have any guidance for allowing her to see the faces of her family.

“What’s wrong?”

Rey blinks.

Ben has gotten to his feet, and is standing beside her, blocking out one of the hazy suns overhead with his height.

“You… You’re sad,” he says.

He reaches forward, and puts his hand to her cheek.

“Thinking about Jakku makes me sad,” Rey murmurs.

It isn’t the whole truth, but it isn’t a lie, either. She thinks it’s a kinder truth.

“I’m sorry,” Ben says, quietly. “I hope the fact you aren’t there anymore can bring you some comfort.”

“It does,” Rey confirms. “And you’re here. That always helps.”

He smiles. Rey grins back, and knowing he isn’t expecting it--

Moving quickly, Rey jerks her arm out, and Ben’s lightsaber soars into her open hand. She ignites it, raising it over her head--

And slams it down on the blade of the Skywalker lightsaber, held aloft in Ben’s hand. He holds it diagonally across his torso, and is looking at her with clear amusement over the light of the paler blue blade.

“Really?”

Rey smirks. “I read somewhere that it’s important that Jedi learn how to duel without their preferred weapon.”

“These are both lightsabers,” Ben replies. Their interlocked lightsabers are reflected in his dark eyes. “And quite similar in shape and size. I don’t imagine that this is what that Jedi author really had in mind.”

“Small steps,” Rey says. “But I do think we’re past my staff and that rod.”

Ben smiles, reminded of their first ever sparring match on Takodana. He straightens, jerking his lightsaber straight up, sending Rey stumbling back. He twirls the hilt carelessly around in his hand, testing the shape of it, studying the arc of the lighter blue blade. Rey wonders if he holds it and thinks of its past owners; Luke Skywalker, Master Jedi of the New Order, and Anakin Skywalker, Fallen Jedi Knight.

Maybe even Rey of Nowhere, Jedi apprentice.

She won the lightsaber in a duel with someone who felt they inherited it; surely that means the blade is really _hers_ now.

“Okay,” Ben breathes. He looks away from the light blue glow, turning back to Rey. Above his head, one of the suns has disappeared again; only one remains in the sky. “Your move, Rey. Reach out. And surprise me.”

The blade of Ben’s lightsaber is a dark, almost navy blue. Its shade reminds her indelibly of the odd light that surrounded the strange cave under the island, the black space, with the seaweed and the cold, and the undeniable feeling of someone calling to her, specifically.

 _For_ her.

Ben’s lightsaber hums under her hand, the heat almost overwhelming, and she thinks of the way Kylo Ren’s blade, identical in design to this one, spat red fire onto the white snow of Ilum. How Kylo’s same brown eyes glowed in the red and blue light, as he spoke to her of the Force. How his eyes ensnared her here on Ahch-To, under the weight of her confusion and doubt.

 _“Reach out, Rey,” Kylo says. “You would not believe the things that can be true. Let the Force show you; let_ all _of the Force show you. Uncover your own future; step into your destiny.”_

_Step into your destiny._

Rey takes a quick step forward. And another.

And then she spins on the spot, jabbing Ben’s lightsaber forward, and he meets her halfway.

* * *

It is easy to find the physical location of the dark rocks centering on the seaweed-covered hole in their middle. All Rey has to do is reach out, and the space beckons to her, as inviting as the smell of a much-loved meal cooking in a kitchen. She scurries down the grassy hillside of the island, jumping off the beaten stairs to walk over the moss to the bottom of the island, to the black rocks.

She has left Ben in the _Falcon,_ doing his evening ritual of resetting the comms system in an effort to contact the Resistance. He’s branched out a bit, going further day by day; he no longer searches only for a signal from Leia, but ones from Poe, Amilyn Holdo, Chewbacca, and a host of other rebels Rey doesn’t know. If they had a more secure channel, Rey is sure he’d reach out to someone like Maz Kanata and get a physical location for the Resistance. But the risk of the _Falcon’s_ comms being hacked is too high.

Luke, meanwhile, has disappeared entirely. She thinks she saw him heading up the mountain to the Temple in the light of the sunset, but she could be wrong. He’s likely spending time with R2-D2.

Near the bottom of the island, Rey hops over the side of a line of black rock, landing sure-footedly on slick stone. Everything is a little damp, as an occasional rogue wave smashes against the side, sending seafoam and saltwater into the air. Rey feels droplets pebble over her face as she approaches the hole.

She kneels down, her hands tangling in the thick seaweed, so dark green it looks nearly black. She frowns, peering down; below she can only see the sea, nearly pitch black in its cave. She leans over the edge, uncertain--

_Rey._

Her name, as a whisper. As a breath. Rey stretches--

And falls over the edge.

She is only able to let out a brief yell of surprise before she hits the water.

It is cold, _freezing_ cold, colder than any other part of the ocean she’s swam in. Rey blinks her eyes open, ignoring the bite of the salt, overwhelmed by the sheer darkness and chill. She can see the skull of a sea creature before her, but she doesn’t investigate; she kicks out, climbing in the direction she desperately hopes is the surface.

She breaks above the water, and gasps, inhaling air with greedy gulps.

After all of Ben’s studious attempts to teach her to swim; she’ll have to thank him.

Rey paddles forward to the ledge, her usual speed dampened by her soaked clothes.

She is in a cave, a dark space carved out by waves made long ago. She scrabbles for the rock shore, gripping the stone and heaving herself up.

And faces a wall of ice.

Frowning, Rey moves closer. It’s cold in the cave, oddly dark for being only just after sunset, but it is nowhere near cool enough for there to be actual ice. She approaches the wall, lifting a hand, and stops just before the surface as she realizes she is staring at herself.

It’s a mirror.

Everything goes silent, and Rey turns her head, and there are a hundred other Reys in the space with her, all wearing identical looks of trepidation. She lifts her hand, and the other Reys do as well. She snaps her fingers, and the sound repeats in the space; not as an echo, but as a noise in sync with itself. 

_What do you want?_

“I want to know,” Rey whispers.

It is cold, so terribly cold. Rey shivers in the gray light. All her other selves tremble with her.

_What do you want?_

“I want to see them,” she says. And then, as a reflex: “Please.”

The mirror is unmoved.

Rey lowers her arm, stretching her hand out to the glass.

“Let me see them,” Rey whispers. “My parents.”

If she squints, she thinks she can see shadows forming in the mirror, dark masses gathering, moving closer. Coalescing into two separate shapes. Walking to her. She presses closer, greedily, until the tip of her nose is almost touching the glass.

Her fingers brush the mirror.

The shapes shift into one.

On the other side, a hand presses to the mirror.

Rey breathes.

The mirror unfogs.

And she is looking only at herself.

Rey drops to her knees, oddly spent.

_“During my training, I encountered a lure from the Dark Side,” Luke says. “The cold, the sense that something was wrong… It called to me. Master Yoda cautioned me. I asked him what was in there.” Luke looks at Rey with sharp, pale blue eyes that have seen so much more than Rey thinks she ever will. “He told me: ‘Only what you take with you.’”_

This is what Rey has taken to the Dark. And this is what it has offered her in return.

Herself.

Only herself.

The only thing she has.

* * *

The village is quiet and dark when she reaches it.

Ben’s hut is empty, but she thinks she would have bypassed it anyway, even if he’d been there. She walks past the firepit in the center of the village, marching straight to her hut, and ducking inside.

Her hands shake as she lights a fire.

She wraps a spare blanket around her wet shoulders, and wrings her hair out carelessly onto the stone.

The fire slowly pumps itself up. Rey tucks her knees in close to her body, leaning forward, searching for the warmth.

“Rey?”

She closes her eyes, steeling herself, and opens them.

Kylo sits across from her, closer than he has ever been before. His position matches hers almost exactly; wherever he is, he’s seated at a low level too.

“Why are you _here?”_ Rey asks and she hates how her voice is only a croak. “What do you want from me?”

“What’s happened?” Kylo asks, and his eyebrows draw together in odd concern. “Why are you all wet? Are you cold?”

Rey hiccups a grim laugh.

“I _looked,”_ she spits. “I looked into the Force; I looked into the Dark! And it showed me _nothing._ Just myself, and a whole lot of empty space. Because I am nothing, because I _have_ nothing. You and Ben have so much! Your family, living and dead, this whole fantastic, incredible legacy and history. You both know exactly where you fit in this story. And I have _none_ of that. I have no answers, and I have nothing to show for any of it.”

“Rey,” Kylo says, and she hates his voice, hates how it is Ben’s, hates how it’s so soft and gentle in the fiery light.

“I’ve found some answers here,” Rey whispers, staring into the fire itself, but speaking to Kylo nonetheless. “I’ve been happy. I feel more in control of myself than I ever have before. And Ben… Ben has been everything.”

She looks to the side. Kylo stares at her, waiting.

“But he is so… afraid,” she continues. “And I know he’s got good reason for it, but I just… I don’t know as much as he does, and I would like to. I’m training to become his equal, and he… He lost you, and I think he’s scared that if I become strong like him, like you, that I’ll turn, too. Which is nonsense, of course. But I can’t seem to convince him of it.”

“Ben was always more afraid of himself turning than he was of me.”

Rey jerks her head up, to look at Kylo. It is his turn to gaze into the flames.

“Ben was right there,” Kylo murmurs. “For everything. Every whisper, every dream, every memory. To this day, I don’t… I don’t know how he didn’t _feel_ it.”

“He did,” Rey says. “He felt the Dark. He did.”

“Then how did he _ignore it?”_

Kylo’s voice rises at the end. It is rife with pain, with grief.

Rey has had this exact conversation with Ben; only mirrored.

“He didn’t,” Rey murmurs. “He never could. He just made a different choice. He chose to be good, he chose to follow the Light.”

Kylo scoffs. “There is no _choice._ There is only what _is._ There is only instinct and fallout.” He looks away from the flames, staring at Rey with blistering intensity. “I am the consequence of instinct and fallout. I am the reason why the past must die. I am the only one honest and brave enough to acknowledge and live as I am _meant to be.”_

“What are you talking about?”

But Rey knows.

She thinks she knows.

She thinks she’s known for weeks, she thinks Ben has known for weeks, but neither of them have sought to confront it.

“Luke Skywalker tried to murder me,” says Kylo Ren.

Rey closes her eyes.

She can see it, see it so clearly.

“I was asleep. I woke up to a green light. I’d seen it a hundred times before, knew what it was from. But I didn’t understand why I was seeing it in my room. At first, I thought someone was playing a prank of some kind. I thought that was a bit below the decorum of a Jedi, but I was nineteen, and a prank was infinitely more likely than what I saw when I rolled over. My Master--my _uncle--_ stood over me. His face was distorted in hatred and rage. He lifted his lightsaber over his head. I reacted as I’d been taught, as only I could, as a Force-user. I called my own sword to my hand. And I defended myself. And it all fell down. As it was always meant to.”

Rey opens her eyes.

Kylo’s gloved hands are in tight fists at his sides.

“Hansa set the fire,” he whispers. “But I woke him, and Vesper, Lior, and Saffron. I told them it was time. The Dark had called to them as well, though not in the same way Snoke whispered to me. Snoke sought me out specifically. Snoke knew then, as he knows now, that _I_ am the true heir. I am the one with all the power. I felt it keenly then, as we walked through the burning Temple, as the rain fell. I felt it roar around me as I fought my classmates. I struck them down, and the Force wrapped around me. And I knew; this was always inevitable.”

“Bail,” Rey breathes, and it is the first time she has called him by his birth name.

He looks at her.

“Ben caught up to me at the end of it,” he says. “He was shocked, though he shouldn’t have been. But I looked at my brother, my best friend, my other half, and I thought… _This is it._ I asked him to come with me. And I told him the truth. I told him that our uncle had tried to kill me. And Ben… He didn’t _believe me.”_

Bail laughs, but it is humorless and grim and merited.

“I have never lied to him,” Bail says. _“Never._ And that night, when I was feeling _everything_ so acutely and brilliantly, he chose not to believe me. He decided I was lying, rather than acknowledge that what he’d been led to think we were meant to be was built on one Jedi’s lie. He was _wrong,_ Rey. I was right about who we were meant to be. He was so convinced I was wrong, so convinced what the Force was showing us was wrong, that he chose to pretend rather than understand the truth.”

Rey opens her mouth to ask, because she doesn’t understand, because what exactly was Ben wrong about, what did Ben see that made Bail believe they needed to turn to the Dark Side--

“He chose everything else over me. Absolutely everything else.” Bail’s eyes are wide and manic. _“Ben_ left _me,_ Rey. It was never the other way around. He chose Skywalker over me, and now I am alone.”

Rey shakes her head. “You’re not alone.”

Bail looks at her, all sharp angles and dark vulnerability and something she cannot name. The scar she placed on his face glows red hot in the light.

“It isn’t too late,” Rey says, and she holds her hand out. “It isn’t too late, Bail.”

From somewhere far away, she thinks she hears someone call her name.

In front of her, Bail slowly peels the glove off his right hand. His skin is dry and pale, and his hand trembles a little, but he reaches forward, lining his bigger hand, longer fingers, alongside hers.

She holds his gaze.

With nervous hesitation on both sides, they close the minute gap, and Bail’s fingertips touch hers.

* * *

Rey sees the future.

And what a future it is.

Everything she has ever wanted.

Everything Ben has ever wanted.

* * *

And then Ben steps into the hut.

And then Bail looks at his brother over the fire.

And then Luke Skywalker tears it all apart.

* * *

_“Bail?”_ Ben exclaims, his face so shocked, eyes so wide, that it could be funny in any other situation. He stands there, a text in one hand, while his other is stretched out, instinctively, reaching for Bail.

Or for Rey, she realizes, as Ben’s arm changes direction, and he scrambles past the fire to get to her. He drops his text thoughtlessly to the stone ground, and it is the very first time she’s ever seen him treat a Jedi relic with anything but the most careful attention.

His hand curls around her upper arm. His eyes are still on his frozen brother.

“Ben,” Bail whispers, and with his free hand, he reaches out--

_“No!”_

The roof of the hut comes crashing down, and Ben is forced back by falling debris. The storm comes racing into the hut, immediately quashing the fire, and when Rey blinks in front of her, she sees only empty space where Bail had been. She turns back, rising, to see Luke lowering his hand, staring at her in horror.

Rey has no time for his emotions.

She has no time for _her_ emotions.

It is time for the truth.

“Is it true?” She yells, and she doesn’t sound like herself, so stunned and sick and disgusted at what she’s learned. “Did you try to _murder_ him?”

_“What?”_

Ben is dressed in a black sweater and trousers, and with his hair rapidly matting down in the rain, his pale face is the only thing separating him from the night and the storm. He stares, horror-struck, at Luke. Luke holds his gaze, chin lifting, before turning back to Rey.

“Leave this island,” he says, and turns to walk away.

And Rey is having _none of it._

“Stop,” she calls. _“Stop!”_

It is easy, so easy, to call her staff to her hand, and smack Luke in the back with it. He stumbles at the force of her blow, slipping to the ground, and she stands over him.

“Did you do it?” she shouts. “Did you create Kylo Ren?”

“Rey--”

 _“No,”_ Rey snarls, turning on the spot to face Ben. “It’s time for the truth now. I have heard enough, enough excuses and half-truths, and I am sick of it! I haven’t had answers my whole life, and I am getting them now. And right now, I need to hear Luke Skywalker either confirm or deny that he tried to kill Bail Organa-Solo the night the Temple burned.”

Ben stares at her, in a mixture of terror and dread, like he is seeing her clearly for the very first time.

There’s a strange _thwack_ sound, the noise of something whistling through the air, and Rey looks back in time to block a blow from, of all things, a weather vane.

And then she and Luke Skywalker are a blur.

Lost in a fight.

She has never fought Luke before, has only watched Ben fight Luke that one time, but she is a burning whirlwind of fury and disbelief, and she has fought with this staff her whole life. She swings and ducks and dives, but Luke meets her step for step, thrust for thrust. More than once, he lands a hit on her, causing her to cry out. She hears Luke yell _“Stay back, Ben!”_ but she returns for more and more.

Until Luke disarms her with an aggressive cut, and her staff goes flying.

Rey moves fast, reaching out, and the Skywalker lightsaber soars into her hand. She ignites it, and Luke falls backward to get away, and the blade is still moving--

It lands, hard, on another blade of blue, positioned defensively over Luke’s prone form.

Ben stares at her over their locked blades.

He’s breathing hard, like he’s run a marathon in the last five minutes. They are a far cry from who they were earlier, when Rey sought to land a friendly blow and Ben blocked her with a dextrous move. Here, her blade is perpendicular to her body, and it is only Ben’s similarly perpendicularly angled sword that has blocked her from landing a hit on Luke Skywalker himself.

Ben shakes his head, wordlessly.

She is the one to break their gaze.

“Tell me the truth,” Rey says.

Luke looks at her, at Ben, at the locked blue blades, and he seems to deflate all at once.

“I saw darkness,” he says, his voice so soft Rey has to strain to hear him over the storm. “I’d sensed it building in him; I’d see it in moments during his training. But then I looked inside… and it was beyond what I ever imagined. Snoke had already turned his heart. He would bring destruction, pain, and death… and the end of everything I loved. And for the briefest moment of pure instinct, I thought I could stop it!” Luke sighs. “It passed like a fleeting shadow. And I was left with shame… and consequence. And the last thing I saw… were the eyes of a frightened boy whose master had failed him.”

Rey turns off the Skywalker lightsaber.

Ben staggers back, but keeps his blade ignited; Rey thinks he might not be aware he’s holding it anymore.

“Luke,” Ben whispers. “Luke, how could you?”

“I’m so sorry, Ben,” Luke says. “Not a day goes by where I don’t regret it, regret it in my _bones._ No matter who Bail was at that moment… I should not have raised my sword to him.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Luke closes his eyes. “Because I knew you would look at me the same way your brother did that day. As you are now.”

Ben extinguishes his lightsaber.

He looks stricken. He falls to his knees, grabbing his head in his hands, shaking his head.

“He wasn’t lying,” Ben breathes. “He told me that night that you’d tried to kill him, and I didn’t believe him. My own brother, I didn’t believe him. And it’s all over now. It’s too late.”

“It isn’t,” Rey says, stepping between the fallen old man and the anguished young one. She looks to Luke first.

“You failed him because you thought his choice was made,” Rey insists. “And it wasn’t. There is still conflict in him, to this day!”

Luke stares.

Rey turns to Ben, whose expression matches Luke’s.

“If he turned from the Dark Side, we could shift the tide,” Rey says, hurriedly. “We could _win.”_

Ben looks at her in the pouring rain.

And she realizes what he’s looking at her with; not resolution, like he often does when she’s entreating him. But with sympathy, laced with pity. Rey’s skin crawls.

“It’s too late,” Ben says, again. “He’s gone. Kylo Ren is all that remains.”

“He is _not,”_ Rey snaps. “We’ve been talking--”

“Yeah, about that,” Luke starts, but she ignores him.

“And he’s had doubts, Ben,” Rey says. “He’s so sad, so full of grief. He just needs to know he has a place, that you’ll be there for him. He misses you so much. All this time, while you’ve been thinking he left you, he’s been thinking you left him.”

Ben shakes his head. “That’s--”

“It makes sense! Just look at it from his point of view.”

“His point of view?” Ben repeats, clambering to his feet. “What, his point of view as the _Jedi Killer?_ He killed our classmates! He burned the Temple down--”

“He thought he was trapped, Luke had betrayed him, and you--”

“It was everything Snoke told us would happen, everything he said we would become--”

“It was what Bail had seen in the Force, the truth he’d been seeking out, the destiny he saw coming--”

Ben stops on the spot.

“Those visions don’t always come true!” he yells. “Rey, I’ve told you this, you have to be mindful of what you see in the Force, because visions are not always true, they do not always show things that will come to pass!”

“But they _can._ Remember what that woman said to you on Zakuul? All visions come true in some universe. In this one, Bail’s were right, and mine are too.”

Ben freezes. “Yours? What have you seen?”

_The island, the First Jedi Temple--_

“What will happen if we go to Bail now,” she insists, and her eyes are wide in the downpour, and Ben can only stare at her. “Ben, if we go to your brother now, he’ll turn. He’ll come home. You’ll have him at your side again, like you’ve always wanted. He’ll come with us.”

Silence falls, save for the pouring rain.

Luke is still sprawled on the wet stone, his gray hair turning black with water.

Rey remains standing over him, similarly soaked.

And Ben stands a little away from both of them, his lightsaber in his hand, his hair hanging flat to his head, and a horrified look on his face.

“Oh, Rey,” he whispers. “He’s using you.”

Rey stills. “What?”

“The Dark is patient,” Ben says. “And it is smart, and it is cruel. Snoke sought to corrupt me by appealing to what he knew I craved; validation, and kindness. And now Bail is doing the same to you, corrupting you by offering you guidance and hope. It’s textbook. Whatever you think you saw; it was a lie.”

Rey shakes her head. “No. It wasn’t.”

“It was, I assure you. Bail is tricking you into following a lie that feeds into his greater goals. It was how Snoke tried to turn us. Once you’ve done what he wants, he’ll pull it back, and you’ll see it was only you choosing to believe in what you wanted to happen, all along. Nothing else, no one else. That’s how I knew what Snoke was showing me wasn’t going to happen.”

“What did you see, Ben?” Rey whispers.

She has asked him this before, has wondered for longer.

_“I have never lied to him,” Bail says. “Never. And that night, when I was feeling everything so acutely and brilliantly, he chose not to believe me. He decided I was lying, rather than acknowledge that what he’d been led to think we were meant to be was built on one Jedi’s lie. He was wrong, Rey. I was right about who we were meant to be. He was so convinced I was wrong, so convinced what the Force was showing us was wrong, that he chose to pretend rather than understand the truth.”_

He answers her now, with brown eyes so dark and hard that he looks even more identical to his brother than ever before.

He looks like Kylo Ren.

 _“I saw myself become Kylo Ren,”_ Ben says. He yells it, something afraid and angry and heartbroken in his voice. “I burned the Temple. I murdered my classmates. I massacred villages. I watched the Republic go up in flames. And I pushed my red lightsaber into my father’s chest. It was all _me.”_

It is Rey’s turn to be gripped by horror.

How easily she can see it; because in some ways, she already has. Because Bail and Ben are identical.

One choice separates them.

“Bail was beside me,” Ben whispers, all the fight gone out of him. “Identical to me, dressed in black, wielding a red lightsaber. As familiar as he has always been, as familiar as looking into a mirror. We saw the two of us taking on the galaxy, shaping it as we wished, ruling it, as our grandfather had done before us. But we were doing it _right.”_ He shakes his head. “Rey, don’t you see how twisted it all is?”

“It was a future Bail saw and felt _had_ to happen, was always going to happen, he didn’t realize it didn’t _have_ to happen,” Rey says, desperate now, finally understanding the crux of Bail and Ben’s separation, the awful miscommunication of it all.

Their mutual confusion at the choice the other had made.

How easy it would be, so easy, for Ben to go to Bail now and show him that they could diverge their paths? That they could choose to join each other?

She can see it, so clearly.

She just needs to facilitate.

“Force visions,” Rey says. “The Jedi don’t believe they are always accurate; and that can be true. But other societies, other Force users, believe they will _always_ come true, in some universe. Luke,” and here she turns to Luke, who had been watching her and Ben’s fight with something like dawning horror, “You told me the Jedi were flawed, and wrong. Hypocritical, and proud. Can’t the Jedi be wrong about this? Can’t my visions possibly be true? Can’t I make them so?”

_“Maybe you were just a bad Jedi,” Rey offers._

_Kylo grins._

_“I was,” he confirms. “Perhaps you should remember that, whenever you ask yourself about what really happened at the Temple. Perhaps you should consider that I am not the only one.”_

“Ben,” Rey continues, “Ben, I know you experienced Force visions that didn’t come true. But you must know, surely: You could never have become Kylo Ren.”

She has no idea how he cannot grasp this.

How obvious it is to her that Ben; kind, patient, thoughtful, sorrowful Ben; _her_ Ben; he could never become Kylo Ren.

“It was a different choice, made by someone else for me. If what you saw just now can only be guaranteed if someone else makes the right choice…” Ben shakes his head. “Then don’t put faith in it. Especially not if it relies on my brother’s goodness.”

“If we go to him now, he _will_ turn. This could be our only chance.”

“There never was a chance. Bail’s shot at redemption died with our father.” He looks away, studying Luke instead. “And besides. We don’t have time to deal with Bail right now. We have to leave.”

This snaps Rey out of her shock. “What?”

Luke clears his throat.

“I opened myself back up to the Force,” he says, and Rey recalls how he pulled the weather vane to him, and how obvious it is now. “Artoo had me thinking, and… I decided to reach out for Leia.” He half-glances at Ben when he says, “There is no Force connection like the one between twins.”

Ben looks down at his boots.

“Leia is very sick, Rey,” Luke murmurs.

_“What?”_

Ben’s eyes are tightly closed. It finally hits Rey that Ben has been operating in a daze this whole time, and not because of the appearance of Bail; or, at least, not wholly because of it. But because of something Luke had told him, or showed him.

“We have to go to her, Rey,” Ben says. “I don’t know if there’s anything I can do, but I have to try.” He looks up, meets Rey’s eyes. “She’s the only family I have left.”

The finality is crushing.

Rey realizes how deeply Ben believes that Bail is gone.

She gives Ben a quick nod.

Just as clearly as she saw earlier, she sees the future unravel before them now.

* * *

They do not bother packing everything. Rey goes into her dilapidated hut and retrieves a change of clothes and a tunic, recovers her staff, and runs down the stone steps towards the _Falcon._

“Rey?”

She turns.

Luke stands in the dark, barely visible in the storm.

“I should have been more honest with you,” he says, softly. “I apologize.”

Rey gives him one terse nod.

She really doesn’t care.

She goes to continue, but Luke’s voice stops her again.

“Step lightly, Rey. This is not going to go the way you think.”

She pauses on the steps.

And then she continues running.

She does not look back.

* * *

With the _Falcon_ powering on, Rey looks out the transparisteel window, to see Luke and Ben speaking to one another. Ben only has his jacket half-on, lightsaber in one hand, bag in the other. He’s staring hard at Luke, and speaking quickly, gesturing to the _Falcon._

Rey glances up, and sees the binary beacon hanging over her head, the one identical to the beacon Leia wears.

She pulls it down, examining it in her hand.

Ben walks into the cockpit a few moments later, carelessly throwing his soaking jacket over the back of one of the passenger seats.

“Let’s go,” he says, and Rey nods, guiding them to the stars. “Do you know where we’re going?”

“Yes,” Rey replies, glancing at the binary beacon, and Ben nods.

He leans forward over the control panel, burying his face in his hands.

“I wish you’d told me,” he whispers.

“I wish you’d told me, too.”

He looks up at her, and she holds his stare, even as he glares at her more fiercely than he ever has before.

“Me not telling you about the kriffed up Force visions I saw as a child is _not_ the same as you not telling me that _Kylo Ren_ has been showing up here,” he snaps.

“Your brother.”

Ben’s eyes flash. “Excuse me for choosing to call my father’s murderer by his chosen name. My point still stands; you’ve been keeping a lot of secrets. Why didn’t you tell me you’ve been struggling with this?”

“What, like how you have? It isn’t the only thing you haven’t told me,” Rey snaps back, her voice rising. “You dictate our every move, everything we do, but you don’t have anything real for me when it comes to the things I _really_ want to know. I told you, Ben, that I came here for answers! And that includes answers on what happened to my family, and who I am, and what I am meant to be.”

“We came here to be Jedi,” he replies, scathingly. “Or is that something you no longer want?”

“Don’t act like you know better than me what I want,” Rey hisses.

“I really don’t, Rey!” Ben exclaims. “I thought I did. I thought we wanted the same things. I thought we were…” He trails off, as all the fight seems to leave him at once. “I thought this was enough. Learning the Jedi Way, studying the Force… I thought it would be enough. I thought _I_ was enough.”

He looks at her with big, sad brown eyes, eyes Rey has looked into, eyes Rey has loved, and she feels something in her crumble.

“You’ve always been enough, Ben,” she whispers.

“I never have,” he says, heat and anguish lacing his voice. “I’ve never been enough, not when people I love have to choose between me and the things they feel they are promised, or owed. The things they _really_ want.”

He’s talking about Bail.

And her. 

_“Be careful with him, Rey,” Luke says. His ice blue eyes are tight, challenging, as if seeing something in Rey that she can’t see herself. “Don’t break his heart.”_

“Sometimes, people do things because they truly think they can make it right,” Rey whispers. Ben doesn’t look at her, keeping his gaze downward. “Sometimes we take risks for great reward.”

“Some falls are too hard,” Ben murmurs, and she sees now that he’s rolling his gold die between his fingers. His last gift from Han. “Some prices are too high.” He looks at Rey now. “Please believe me when I tell you that my brother is gone.”

“Please believe me,” Rey replies, “When I tell you that it isn’t too late. Please believe me when I say that the future I saw is worth reaching for.” She looks at him, imploringly. “We have to _try,_ Ben. He’s your brother, your best friend, your other half; don’t you want to try again, one more time?”

“Don’t ask me to do this, Rey,” Ben whispers. “Don’t you dare. You have _no idea_ how hard it’s been, how it… how it goes against everything I _am_ to acknowledge my brother is gone.”

“He isn’t--”

“Kriff, he _is,_ Rey! Why is this so hard for you to understand?”

“You haven’t spoken to him recently,” Rey interjects. “We’ve had conversations, he’s shared with me why he is the way he is, he _finally_ makes some sense to me. He’s made a lot of bad choices, Ben, but if you offered him that choice, that chance to come home, you must know he would take it. In a heartbeat. You would be together again.”

“He’s told you that?”

She shakes her head. “I’ve felt it.”

“Nice,” Ben says, bitterness hardening his tone, and he has never sounded like this before, not when he’s talking to her. “That’s what any man wants to hear. That his brother has been messing around with his…”

Ben trails off.

He closes his eyes, and shakes his head.

“We have to get to my mother,” he mumbles, and picks up the binary beacon from where Rey has left it on the control board. He twists it around, looking at the signal on the beacon, and comparing it to the map on the nav computer. He frowns.

“Rey,” Ben says, slowly, “This isn’t right, why are we--”

She is on her feet, leaning over him. She wraps her arms around his head and shoulders, holding him to her, pressing her lips to his temple.

“My love,” she whispers, and Ben stiffens, and she knows he has realized what is about to happen. “Please forgive me.”

And just like Ben taught her, she stuns him.

He collapses, falling back into his seat, eyes closed.

Rey swallows, feeling the tears slide down her face. Carefully, she pulls the binary beacon over his limp wrist, and presses a kiss to his palm.

In one of the storage bins, she unearths a piece of ancient-looking paper and a half-dead pen. In trembling, ugly letters, she writes a note in the atrocious handwriting Ben has so patiently taught her. 

The note he will find when he wakes up alone.

She buckles Ben’s unconscious form into the co-pilot’s seat. 

She reaches out, relying on Instinctive Astrogation, to continue on her course to the ship she saw in her vision, as Bail touched her hand.

Continuing on to meet the future she has seen.

The destiny that awaits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anakin and Obi-Wan being galactically popular and called "The Hero With No Fear" and "The Negotiator" was lifted from the "Revenge of the Sith" novelization by Matthew Stover. I cannot overstate how good a book it is.
> 
> I have been trying to build the story to this inevitable schism. Everyone has made their case for their own point of view, and unwittingly led the others to it. Ben's fear and unwillingness to capitulate to Rey what the Dark Side can really do has fed to her confusion over why the Force is showing her these things; Luke's dismissiveness and scorn towards the Jedi Way has soured her faith in it; and Bail's pain and grief has changed the way she looks at what he has done. The fun thing is I don't think any of them are wrong. It all makes sense; from a certain point of view.
> 
> The first story in this series saw Ben imploring Rey that she always make the choice she wishes to make, not anything she feels she has been forced into. This chapter makes it clear exactly why Ben felt that way, and why he has so long believed it was choice, and not destiny, that saw Bail doing what he did: Ben saw a future in which he became Kylo Ren. When Ben told Snoke that he wished to make choices he could forgive himself for, he was really referencing those visions, and the future that Snoke tried to create for him.
> 
> To Ben, that future could easily have happened. But to Rey: It never, ever could, which makes Ben's fear of Force visions bewildering to her. Rey's certainty on this topic should be clear, but she will explicitly explain it later in this story.
> 
> Bail's opinion of Force visions and his part in them is the complete opposite of Ben's, and Bail will have his say the next time we see him. It is more important than ever to consider that Bail is Ben's mirror, and vice versa. Identical, but opposite.
> 
> Next chapter will see us reuniting with some old friends!


	7. The Shape of Things to Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Ben thinks. That’s what I am.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Ben opens his eyes.

The stars outside the transparisteel viewport of the _Millennium Falcon_ blink innocently back at him, shaping an unfamiliar constellation. Closer still is a large, pale blue moon, covered in divots and dips from asteroids or other debris. And far below is an orange planet, so bright it seems to emit its own light, emerging like a flower from a seed in cold, black earth.

For a moment, Ben can only look at this image, his mind utterly, blissfully, blank.

And then, in a rush, he remembers.

Luke reaching out for Leia to find her nearly comatose. Ben racing down the mountain to find Rey so they could leave. Bail sitting across from Rey in her hut, touching her hand. Luke tearing the room apart with the Force. Rey charging Luke with the attempted murder of Bail. Rey and Luke dueling in the rain. Ben turning his own blade on Rey to defend his Master. Luke confessing the truth of the night the Temple burned. The revelation of Rey’s Force vision. Rey ignoring Ben’s pleas that she listen, that she reconsider. The hurry to the _Falcon._

Ben remembers picking up the binary beacon, the twin to the one on Leia’s wrist, only to realize the coordinates on the beacon were different than the ones Rey was flying them to.

He remembers Rey pressing her lips to his head.

_“My love; please forgive me.”_

The beeping noise, Ben realizes, is coming from the binary beacon that’s now hanging around his wrist. It’s indicating that its twin is on the orange planet below.

And on the control panel in front of him is a folded piece of paper, his name scrawled in Rey’s messy, childlike handwriting.

_Ben--_

_I have to try. And if I don’t try now, I might not get another chance. The time is right. The Force is strong and it will guide me. Bail will turn. I will bring your brother home to you._

_Give your mother love from me; you have all of mine._

_Rey_

Ben crumples it in his fist.

 _Rey,_ Ben thinks, _Why couldn’t you listen to me?_

* * *

Ben sits, dazed, in the cockpit.

He thinks part of his daze is to do with his recovery from Rey’s Force stun; he’s only been stunned once before. Ironically, by the person Rey has left him to go to.

Ben only remembers Kylo lifting his arm and calling the Force to him in order to knock Ben out on Takodana, for easier transport to Starkiller Base. He’d been unconscious for the duration of the trip, waking only when he was strapped down to a chair with a needle ready to plunge a neurotoxin in his veins by his own brother’s hand. The memory is fresh, and raw; Ben wears the physical scar of that day on his arm, and he knows the mental scars will last just as long.

Personally, Ben has never actually stunned a _person_ before, only animals, and usually only as a practice lesson when he was a child. He wonders if Rey might have overdone it a bit, in knocking him, a human and a Force user, unconscious.

The teacher side of him would be impressed, but Ben has no time for that aspect of his personality.

He is torn between a numbing grief, a rabid anger, and an unspeakable fear.

He doesn’t know where Rey has gone, only that she has gone to Kylo Ren. To Snoke.

Just like Bail did, six years earlier.

 _Why must everyone I love leave me?_ Ben wonders.

A light on the control panel is flashing repeatedly, indicating that one of the escape pods has recently been jettisoned. It is as good a confirmation as any that Rey flew them to Kylo Ren, set an auto piloted course in the direction of the binary beacon for Ben, and then got into an escape pod that was sent to Kylo Ren before the _Falcon_ took off in the direction of Leia.

Ben fingers the binary beacon on his wrist.

There is one person he loves who he can reach now.

He moves into the pilot’s chair, and guides the _Millennium Falcon_ down to the orange planet below. On the nav computer, the planet’s name and profile pops up. It’s an Outer Rim desert world, sparsely populated save for a few large settlements, cities perched on the edges of artificial oceans.

Cantonica.

* * *

He follows the binary beacon’s insistent beeping as the signal grows stronger. The artificial oceans below the _Falcon_ are massive, and Ben has no idea how or why anyone would bother to create an artificial ocean on an Outer Rim planet.

But then he flies over a tall hill, and sees why.

Canto Bight is a stretch of soft, golden light at the edge of the sea. Ben can see large, opulent buildings, the kind of extravagant architecture that should really only have a place in the Inner Rim, yet exists here in the Outer Rim nonetheless. A huge domed building dominates the capital city, making it appear as if this building was the first thing built here and the rest of the city was built around it to accommodate it. Ben has never been to Canto Bight, but he’s heard about it; Leia had attended several affluent galas in the city during her tenure as Minister of Defense for the New Republic. At these events, she rubbed shoulders with weapons manufacturers, royalty, kingpins, and socialites.

Canto Bight is a playground for the wealthiest and most despicable citizens of the galaxy.

Ben can only assume that Leia has come to Canto Bight in an effort to recruit donors to provide credits or weapons for the Resistance.

But why this would prevent her from comming him, he has no idea.

Nor why she would be comatose here, in the casino city.

He flies to the spaceport at the back of the city, landing in the bay furthest from the others, and powering the _Falcon_ down. Ben gets to his feet, hurrying now, grabbing his jacket from the chair behind his seat and shrugging it on. He retrieves his lightsaber, clipping it to his belt and then, to be safe, grabs his DL-44 pistol as well.

Rey’s note stares up at him from the co-pilot’s seat.

Ben pulls himself together.

He steps off the _Falcon’s_ entry ramp and is immediately intercepted by a harried looking attendant, a Suerton, in a khaki-colored uniform.

“Sir, docking your ship for the night here will cost--”

“I’ve already paid,” Ben replies, airily waving his hand over the Suerton’s reptilian-like face.

“Oh,” the Suerton breathes. “Right. Of course.”

Ben would normally feel guilty for abusing the Force in this way.

But he’s feeling altogether far too _many_ things to waste any thought or emotion on something that in the grand scheme of things is incredibly benign.

“Where is the hospital?” he asks.

“In the Old Town,” the Suerton replies, promptly. “Near the police headquarters.”

“Thank you.”

He sets off, jogging quickly through the spaceport. It becomes increasingly obvious to Ben that he is underdressed for the city; in his dark clothes, black leather jacket, he looks like any other Outer Rim spacer, and no one else here does. Everywhere he turns, he sees furs, and stoles, and evening dresses, and satin robes, and velvet tuxedos, all in luxurious shades and patterns. He attracts a few stares for his grubbiness, but he focuses on keeping his head down and moving quickly, the feeling of his lightsaber swinging at his side comforting.

Though it’s late in the day, the sky dark blue and shimmering with stars, Canto Bight shows no sign of slowing. Partygoers spill out into the streets, gulping down drinks colored in metallic shades, gold champagne and silver wine. Small clusters of people litter the sidewalks, quietly exchanging tiny bags of spice and other illicit highs. Speeders zip past Ben, speeders that are the very definition of sleek and sexy, platinum and rose gold, carrying passengers whose manic laughter echoes louder than any engine rumble. The streets are narrow and twisted, softly lit, arches and balconies lining overhead, perfectly paved cobblestones underfoot, and Ben continuously glances down at the beacon on his wrist for guidance.

Canto Casino rises in front of Ben, the massive domed building he saw from the air. It is clearly the main draw of the town, bringing in more people than not, a magnificent pale pastel stone staircase stretching to the bottom of the street. Gamblers plod out of transports, dressed to the nines, carrying small gold coins carelessly. Casino workers in pristine black suits march in and out of the casino, offering their arms and assistance to the new patrons.

There is undeniably money here, serious amounts of it, but Ben knows much of the Resistance won’t be pleased over its source.

He checks the beacon on his wrist.

It’s still pointing him towards Old Town. He continues his brisk jog.

As he moves, he reaches out in the Force, letting himself be known as well. Leia should be able to sense him here; she and Luke had managed to connect over a large distance as twins, and Ben is her son, and he is much closer.

 _Mom,_ he reaches, as he runs. _Mom, I’m here._

Luke wasn’t sure what was wrong with her, exactly; only that she was very weak, weaker than he’d ever felt her before. He’d reported that her Force presence was muted, dulled down, and from this he’d guessed she had been grievously injured and was in a comatose state as a form of recovery.

That had been all that Ben needed to hear.

His mother was ill, possibly dying.

Of course he needed to be at her side.

He’d already lost Han. He’d already lost Bail.

He can’t afford to lose her, too.

Not when he also feels like he’s losing Rey at the same time.

* * *

The beacon grows stronger the deeper he gets into the Old Town, and Ben finally sees a street post pointing in the direction of the hospital, and he hurries, moving to the right--

And is nearly tripped up by a whirring _ball._

Ben staggers, spits an impolite Corellian swear, and straightens, turning to glare at whatever has stopped his run.

_“BB-8?”_

BB-8 chirps up at him.

Ben grins, dropping to his knees, and the droid rolls up to him. He has not seen BB-8 in weeks, not since he and Rey left D’Qar, and he hasn’t heard a peep from BB-8 or the rest of the Resistance in that time. The sight of BB-8 here, in this very strange and wealthy town, is a massive relief. It shows that at least one member of the Resistance is unscathed.

“I’m looking for my mother,” Ben says. “Where is she?”

BB-8 rolls back a little to peer up at him.

 _With the fleet,_ he says, and Ben’s heart drops. _Trying to outrun the First Order._

“What are you talking about?”

 _They tracked us in hyperspace,_ BB-8 replies. _Some fancy new tech. Rose can explain it better. The Resistance is trying to stay out of range of the First Order’s Star Destroyers. Poe sent Rose, Finn, and me down here to get a master codebreaker, so we can get into the lead Star Destroyer and disable the tracker._

“And what about my mother?” Ben asks, a little more frantic, his relief at seeing BB-8 very much evaporated. “Is she okay?”

BB-8 wilts.

 _No. The_ Raddus _was fired on. The bridge was destroyed, all of the senior leadership killed, save for General Organa. She pulled herself back into the ship, using the… The Force, I guess._

“Yes,” Ben whispers.

Of all of Leia’s Force abilities, she is most adept at physical ones. Much like Rey; much like Bail.

 _She was in critical condition when we left,_ BB-8 says. _Unconscious. That was when Poe made the decision to send us here. If we can disable the tracker, the Resistance can get away safely._

“I see,” Ben murmurs.

He fidgets with the binary beacon on his wrist.

“Do you have this beacon with you?” Ben asks, pointing at it.

BB-8 twitches a denial. _No._

“Someone here does,” Ben murmurs, thoughtfully. “You said Finn and… Rose? You said they’re here?”

_Yeah. They’re being detained._

“For what?”

 _Parking illegally on a public beach,_ BB-8 replies, somehow sounding droll in binary. _We were in a bit of a hurry._

Ben smiles.

“Well,” he says, straightening. “Let’s go break them out.”

* * *

The Canto Bight police headquarters doubles as a holding facility for the city. Ben assumes the bulk of its cells are filled with patrons and partygoers indicted for excessive drunkenness, but also is certain there is a darker class of criminal locked away as well. Thieves and drug dealers; con artists and embezzlers.

He approaches the booking desk with trepidation.

“Hello,” Ben says. “I’m here for two of your detainees.”

A bored-looking clerk glances at a datapad next to him. “No one’s on the books to be bailed. Come back later.”

BB-8, Ben notices, has begun to shuffle in place, almost rumbling.

“I don’t really have that kind of time,” Ben tells the clerk.

The clerk looks very unimpressed. “Not my problem, pal.”

Ben sighs. “It’s about to be.”

“What does that--”

He breaks off, when Ben reaches over the divide, grabs the clerk by his short blond hair, and slams his face into the counter.

* * *

Han Solo bequeathed to his sons lots of things. His wavy hair; his cocky smirk; his height, and then a little more. He gave them a smuggler’s sense of style, a gambler’s arrogant drawl. He passed on an ace pilot’s flight skills, expansive knowledge of hidden runs, tricks and shortcuts and cheats learned by a galaxy explorer. And he bestowed on them a cunning sense of right and wrong, and the whereto know when you had to talk with your fists.

Han Solo taught his sons how to fight.

And not how to fight as his Jedi brother-in-law understood it. And not how to fight as his diplomatic and regal wife thought it ought to be.

Han Solo taught his sons how to fight dirty, rough, fiercely, and victoriously.

During their breaks from Luke’s Temple, Bail and Ben would spend hours with their father, copying his moves and steps. Bail laughed a bit about it, but inhaled the viciousness of Han’s style greedily. And Ben took it seriously, as he does all things.

Han Solo taught his sons how to fight like him.

* * *

_That was impressive,_ BB-8 proclaims, hurrying after Ben down a long dark hallway, moving into the holding facility.

Ben brushes his fingers over his bloody and beaten knuckles. “Not my best work.”

_Four on one? Not great odds._

“I’ve faced worse. And you were pretty impressive, too.”

He’s never seen a droid use casino chips as projectiles to take down an assailant.

_You’re really growing on me, Ben._

Ben laughs, glancing behind him at the small droid. “I’m pleased to hear it.”

He rounds a corner, and abruptly stills.

That dim light, a squint and you might see it kind of sunrise. He’s felt it before. He knows who it emits from.

“Finn,” Ben yells.

Silence, and then, from further away:

“... Ben?”

The holding facility seems to make the shape of a spiral, and Ben and BB-8 hurry down more curves and turns, running past dark cells. Many of these cells have occupants, and many of these occupants call to Ben as he passes, pleas for release, promises of rewards if he does, and he ignores them all. He’d prefer to limit his lawbreaking as much as he can.

They round one last curve, and Ben sees a hand waving from one of the cells.

 _“Ben,”_ Finn exclaims, his entire face brightening in a huge grin. He’s dressed in Poe’s jacket again, and the rest of his clothes are the style Ben commonly associates with Leia’s rebels. “Stars, am I glad to see you!”

“You, too,” Ben replies, and his smile matches Finn’s.

The cell door is locked, and Ben sees BB-8 shuffling through his various compartments for a lockpick. Ben shakes his head; they don’t have a moment to lose.

“Stand back,” he tells Finn, who nods, pulling his cellmate, a young woman with sand-colored skin and short black hair, back with him.

Ben retrieves his lightsaber from his belt, and thumbs it on.

With one quick slice parallel up the door’s side, he cuts the door off its hinges. He catches the door in his free hand before it can clang to the ground, and gingerly sets it on the floor.

“Astral,” Finn says, nodding in approval.

“Is that a lightsaber?” the young woman at his side asks, a little breathless.

Ben extinguishes the blade as Finn and the woman leave the cell.

“Ben, this is Rose Tico,” Finn says, making a rapid introduction. “Rose, this is Ben Organa-Solo, he’s--”

“The General’s son!” Rose exclaims, and Ben’s face warms.

“Nice to meet you,” he mutters, shaking Rose’s hand, feeling overwhelmed at the clear awe in her brown eyes.

“Ben, how did you find us?” Finn asks.

Ben reaches forward, grabbing Finn’s left wrist. He holds up his own wrist alongside it, showing the two beacons going haywire, now back together. 

“You got this from my mother,” Ben says.

“Yeah,” Finn confirms, softly. “Listen, Ben, something happened on the _Raddus--”_

“BB-8 told me.”

Finn looks relieved. “Right. Yeah, I just… It fell off her arm, and I picked it up. You and Rey had offered a place for me to train with you, and it felt right to be able to reach you if need be.” He abruptly brightens. “Hey, is Rey here, too?”

Ben swallows.

Some of his grief and heartbreak must cross his face, because Finn’s face instantly hardens in fresh fear, and Rose’s eyes widen in concern.

“She’s okay,” Ben says, quickly. “She, ah… She left me.”

“Left you? Where’d she go?”

Ben is saved from answering by BB-8 whirring: _Can we get out of this jail, now?_

“Right,” Ben says, but he is only able to take a few steps down the hall when the echoing clang of multiple pairs of running feet sound from further away. He glances behind him, but the same sounds are coming from the other direction as well.

“Kriff,” Finn breathes.

 _What are your odds when fighting a dozen?_ BB-8 asks Ben, and he waves his hand dismissively at the droid. He could take a dozen on his own with his lightsaber, he’s sure; but Finn and Rose are unarmed, and could get hurt in the resulting skirmish.

“Wait,” Rose says. She darts forward, dropping to her knees next to a drainage covering. She hooks her fingers in the metal.

Finn and Ben join her, and the three of them manage to heave it out of place, revealing a pitch black sewer.

“Lovely,” Finn mutters.

Rose squints into the dark. “I’m not sure how far down it is--”

A dark blue lightsaber blade powers on, lighting the pipe somewhat, revealing a ten foot drop. Ben, Rose, and Finn look at each other.

“I’ll go first,” Ben says, and keeping his lightsaber ignited in one hand, he hops into the sewer.

The drop is short, and even better, the sewer is nearly dry, with only a few scattered small puddles of an unknown liquid that Ben is not interested in investigating. He turns on the spot, looking up and down the pipe, and sees nothing except more of the same darkness.

“We’re good to go,” he calls, and not a moment passes before Rose drops down next to him.

“Here,” Ben says, handing her his lightsaber. She takes it in fumbling hands, holding it aloft, and Ben relies on its light as he steps forward directly under the open covering.

BB-8 falls, landing hard in Ben’s arms, and he can’t help but huff at the weight.

 _Hey, you aren’t a feather weight, either,_ BB-8 complains.

Finn drops down a moment later. Ben sets BB-8 down onto the cold pipe (ignoring BB-8’s squabbles over the mysterious liquid) and accepts his lightsaber back from Rose.

“So, you’re like… a real Jedi,” Rose says.

“Something like that,” Ben confirms.

“Don’t listen to him,” Finn says, as the four of them set off down the pipe, heading in the direction Ben thinks the spaceport is, if his sense of direction hasn’t been too damaged by all the twists and turns of the holding facility. “He’s a _Knight._ Trained by Luke Skywalker himself.”

The mention of Luke sends a sharp pain crashing around Ben’s sternum, like a dagger to the chest. Or maybe the back. The realization that Luke had gone to Bail’s room and turned his own lightsaber on his nephew has shaken Ben deeply.

The fact that Bail had told Ben what happened, and Ben… Ben didn’t believe him.

_“I can help you,” Ben says, practically begs it. “I’ve helped you fight Snoke before, remember, I’ve always heard him too--”_

_“That was before,” Bail says, with an elegant shrug. “Now Skywalker’s tried to kill me. There’s no going back. Only forward.”_

_“That can’t be true.”_

_Bail’s grin is a snarl. “You wouldn’t believe the things that can be true.”_

_What else was true?_ Ben wonders.

But then he thinks of Bail pushing the neurotoxin into Ben’s veins. He thinks of Bail calmly informing him of the Hosnian System’s annihilation. He thinks of Bail plunging his lightsaber into Han’s chest.

Those; those things are true.

And Ben will never forget them.

* * *

The pipe grows smaller and smaller, the stench stronger, and they have to call a halt to their journey, though Ben is certain they aren’t at the spaceport yet. When they spot a drainage covering overhead, they shove it open, and clamber out, emerging in a stable.

“Well, that smelled great,” Finn mutters, giving the pipe a scathing final look. “Those cops will catch up to us before too long; that pipe only went in two directions. What next?”

“The _Falcon_ is in the back of the spaceport,” Ben says, while Rose wanders a little further away from him and Finn, peering around at the stalls. “If we can get to it, we’re all clear. Do you know how to get back to the fleet?”

Finn looks pained. “Yes. But we didn’t get the master codebreaker.” 

Ben runs a hand over his face. “You needed a codebreaker to get onto the First Order’s lead Star Destroyer?”

“Yeah. Snoke’s ship.”

_Snoke’s ship._

Where Snoke will be. Where Bail probably is, to be near his master. Where Rey will be, to try and turn Bail.

“I’ll get you on that ship,” Ben says.

Finn raises his eyebrows. “What, you can splice through First Order security shields?”

“Not exactly,” Ben says, wryly. “But I--”

_“Oh!”_

Ben and Finn spin on the spot, Finn taking a step forward, Ben unholstering his pistol; only to see Rose smiling and laughing, staring up at a creature that towers over her. It has large ears, soft-looking brown hair, and an oddly flat face. The creature has poked its head over the top of its stall door to peer down at Rose.

“It’s a Fathier,” Rose says, noting Ben’s bewildered face.

“Those things we saw racing earlier?” Finn asks, going to her side, the two of them looking at the Fathier. Rose stretches her hand up, and the Fathier leans down, sniffing her palm. It emits a sound that is halfway between a whinny and a roar, its ears twitching, and Ben watches as Fathiers step forward to peer over the edge of every stall in the stable; there must be two dozen of them.

Rose is frowning at the Fathier, a complicated look on her face.

Before Ben or Finn can stop her, she’s stepped forward, pressing a button on the stall door. It opens.

Ben looks past the Fathier and sees, of all things, a small child sitting in the straw: a boy, dressed in old tan and gray clothes, a gray wool hat pulled over his sandy blond hair. There is a small moment where the boy looks at the three of them, and they look at him. And then he jumps to his feet, stepping right to the wall--

“No, no, no!” Ben, Rose, and Finn call in unison, and the boy freezes, hand paused over an alarm button.

Ben stares at the boy.

He _shines._

His glow is soft, yet undeniable. This boy, this farm worker, who cannot be older than nine years old, is Force sensitive. A stablehand in Canto Bight; a victim of unjust child labor laws.

“Wait,” Rose says, and Ben blinks away from the boy. Rose twists a ring on her finger, revealing the starbird insignia that once symbolized the Rebel Alliance and has now been inherited by the Resistance. “We’re with the Resistance.”

Privately, Ben is not sure this means enough to the boy to prevent him from raising the alarm.

But to his surprise, the boy smiles.

“Really?” the boy asks.

“Really,” Rose confirms.

A soft scuffling noise causes Ben and Finn to turn around. Two other children are also in this stable, both close to the boy’s age, both in weathered clothes, faces smudged with dirt and grime. They inch forward, slowly, as if afraid that Ben and Finn will attack them.

Ben does not wish to think of what might have caused young children to behave with such scared caution.

“We’re being pursued by police,” Rose continues. “We need help.”

The boy shuffles forward a little, until he’s standing in the stall door. The top of his head barely reaches the Fathier’s shoulder, and the creature seems to know it, its ears dipping down to carefully track the boy’s steps, lest he accidentally be crushed.

“You’re rebels?” The question comes from one of the other children, a girl with frizzy red hair.

“Yeah,” Finn says, something soft in his voice.

It does not surprise Ben that Finn sees these nervous children, hungrier for far more than just food, and is deeply affected. Ben is feeling heartsick as well.

“Are you slaves?” he asks.

The three children look down, studiously avoiding each other’s eyes.

“If you can’t pay the house,” the boy mumbles, “Then you have to give up something as collateral.”

Ben feels nauseous.

These children were given up by their parents due to gambling losses.

“Kriff,” Finn breathes. He and Rose exchange a look. Ben wonders if they’re feeling as torn as he is; they have to hurry and get on Snoke’s ship, but they cannot in good faith abandon these children here.

“We’ll help you,” a new voice interjects; it’s the last of the children, a boy with black skin and crooked white teeth.

“Yes,” the girl confirms, nodding fiercely.

“Alright,” Rose says, planting her hands on her hips and surveying the children. “What’s the plan?”

* * *

The boy in the stall’s name is Temiri. The girl is Arashell, and the other boy is Oniho. They know their way around the stables, traversing it with comfort and calm like it’s their home. And Ben knows; for them, it might as well be. He wonders if any of them remember their parents. He wonders how long they’ve been here.

“We can’t just _leave_ them,” Finn hisses in an aside to Ben, watching as Arashell and Oniho go from stall to stall, murmuring to the Fathiers.

“I know,” Ben agrees. “Temiri?” The boy looks up, all thin light, and Ben’s chest aches. “Do you have a spare bit of paper?”

Temiri leads Ben into the room adjacent to the stables. Like the stables, it is poorly lit and monochrome, a large table covered in tools and empty drink bottles and a few short stools dominating the space. Ben watches as Temiri ruffles through a small desk, procuring a piece of wrinkled paper and a thin pen.

“Thanks,” Ben says. As Temiri watches, he begins to write.

“This is the direct comm line for Leia Organa,” Ben says, and he sees the boy’s eyes widen at the name. “Call her, and she’ll send someone to come get you and your friends. Tell her that Ben gave you her information.”

Temiri takes the page, holding it like it’s a cherished relic. “You’re Ben?”

“Yes.” Ben pauses, and adds, “Ben Organa-Solo. I’m her son.”

“Stellar,” Temiri breathes. “And you’re a rebel?”

Ben supposes he is, even though he isn’t really a part of the Resistance.

Not yet.

“I’m a Jedi,” Ben says, and Temiri’s eyes turn as wide as the gluttonous dinner plates served in the casino behind them.

Temiri turns on the spot, and yells something, and Arashell and Oniho come running in. Ben is not entirely sure which language Temiri is speaking in, but he recognizes one word: _J’idai._

 _Yes,_ Ben thinks. _That’s what I am._

He thinks of the palm reader on Zakuul: _“You are your own best thing.”_

“Do you know Luke Skywalker?” Oniho demands.

“Yes,” Ben confirms. “He’s my Master.”

The children exchange wide-eyed, awestruck looks.

“Are the stories true, then?” Arashell asks, breathless.

Ben thinks of the pain of Luke’s betrayal, and feels it all melt away.

No matter what lies between Ben and his uncle, the fact remains: Luke Skywalker is a galactic symbol. He represents justice and goodness. He is a beacon of hope for the weary, including three slave children on an Outer Rim desert world. For these children, and for the rest of the galaxy that clings onto Luke and his mythology, Ben will forget his own grief.

“They’re true,” Ben says, and sees the children light up, sees Temiri’s glow turn luminescent. “They’re all true.”

“Ace pilot,” Oniho says.

“War hero,” Arashell gushes.

“Outer Rim farm boy.”

“Death Star destroyer!”

“Rebel fighter!”

“Rancor slayer!”

“Master Jedi,” Temiri inserts.

“He’s all of those things,” Ben says, and the children seem to vibrate with glee.

Ben thinks of how derisive and scathing Luke has been to his own legacy, to the Jedi. To see these children now: no matter the personal cost, it is obvious to Ben that there is value in Luke Skywalker and his legend. Obvious to Ben that the Jedi are still worth something.

“Ben?”

The four of them look up to see Finn and Rose in the doorway.

“We gotta go,” Finn says, and Ben nods.

* * *

Finn and Rose clamber onto the first Fathier they encountered, whose name is Cinnabar, according to Temiri. Finn looks wary about this development, shuffling close to Rose, who looks absolutely delighted to be sitting astride the creature.

 _Good luck,_ BB-8 calls, and rolls away, taking his own route back to the _Falcon._

On the Fathier, Finn pats the space behind him. “Hop up.”

Ben shakes his head. “I have to stay here.”

_“What?!”_

So the children don’t hear, Ben steps in closer to Cinnabar, and Finn and Rose lean down to hear him.

“Once the stablemaster comes back and sees his entire stable has been freed, he’s going to go apoplectic,” Ben murmurs. “I need to stay behind to make sure the police catch a glimpse of me, so they think we forced the children into helping us.”

“That’s… a good point,” Rose says.

“So I’ll need you two to draw as many police officers away from this place as you can,” Ben continues. “To give me a fair shot at getting out of here, too. Head out of the city if you can, and then cut back south to the spaceport. I’ll go the other way and meet you there.”

“How are you gonna get out of here, exactly?” Finn asks.

“Arashell,” Ben calls, “Who’s my ride?”

“Distant Star!” Arashell yells back, and Ben hears the aforementioned Fathier issue a confirming nicker.

“Distant Star,” he says to Rose and Finn.

Finn looks unimpressed, while Rose grins. She leans forward a bit, adjusting her grip on the Fathier’s thin mane, while Finn scoots up as close as he can to her, clinging to the belt of her jumpsuit. Ben exits the stall, walking to the open doorway leading into the side room of the stable, where Arashell and Temiri are waiting.

Right on cue, Oniho comes tearing around the corner. “They’re coming!”

The three children step into the room, backing up behind Ben, who moves back to stand in the doorway in front of them. He holds the controller to open the large stable door leading directly onto the racetrack.

With his other hand, he unclips his lightsaber from his belt, and thumbs it on.

He glances behind him, sees the dark blue blade reflected in the children’s amazed eyes, and he grins.

The police in steel gray and white colored uniforms, long black cloaks sweeping their ankles, march into the stable. In the shadowed doorway, Ben waits until they’ve spread out before he hits the button on the controller. The police turn to watch as the door splits apart, and every single stall door slides open. 

The Fathiers burst out.

Over the whickering and neighing, the clattering hooves, Ben can hear Rose’s exhilarated laugh and Finn’s quieter groans.

They gallop out of the stable, a blur of tan and brown, as the Fathiers move as a single herd outside, to run ramshod over the racetrack, leaping the barrier into the center field. The police react too late, several having been knocked down by the stampede, while others scramble to follow, yelling into radios.

Ben steps out of the shadows.

_“There!”_

The Force curls around him as he moves, twisting and sliding, smoothly deflecting the blaster shots they send his way. A few shots strike the empty stalls, upending water troughs, one even creating a minor fire in a feed bucket. Others turn the dirt floor to ash, while others scar the stone walls, and others hit tack and tools. Ben moves further into the stable, drawing the blaster fire away from the children, paying attention to the radio calls.

_“Immediate backup to the racetrack, there is a Jedi--I repeat, a Jedi--here who’s released the Fathiers and is aiding the fugitives--”_

_Perfect,_ Ben thinks.

He slices blasters in half, lands thin but painful cuts on the arms and legs of the officers, waves his hand and knocks police unconscious, doing the most he can to be unharmful yet efficient. A Cloddogran comes stumping into the stable, yelling furiously, and Ben feels the sharp spike of fear from the children, and he knows, instantly knows, that this is their master. One they desperately fear, and have been abused by.

The man’s hand moves to his side, uncoiling a whip hanging there, and Ben reaches out, calling the whip from the stablemaster’s hand to his. He tosses it aside, takes two steps, and cuts off the man’s dominant hand with his lightsaber.

The stablemaster shrieks with pain before Ben jerks his wrist, and knocks him unconscious.

It was a vindictive, cruel thing to do, cutting off the hand of a man who had not actually done Ben wrong, who had not really threatened Ben. But Ben does it anyway, and feels no remorse.

Before too long, he’s standing in a room filled with slumbering bodies.

Ben turns around, to find the children gawking at him.

“That was your master, right?” he asks, though he doesn’t have to check.

“Bargwill Tomder,” Oniho confirms with a shaky nod.

“It’ll take him a while to learn how to use that whip with his other hand,” Ben notes. He extinguishes his lightsaber.

Arashell whistles, and from around the corner trots a Fathier, saddled and ready to go. Ben climbs on.

“That was the Force you used? The Jedi power?”

The question comes from Temiri, who stares up at Ben with wonder, Rose’s ring on his biggest finger. Ben pauses, and looks down at him.

“Yes,” he says. “But the Force doesn’t belong to the Jedi. It belongs to everyone.” He holds Temiri’s gaze. “Reach out. Let the Force guide you.”

He looks to Oniho and Arashell. “Temiri has the contact information for Leia Organa. Call her when you can, but maybe give it a week or so. The Resistance is on the run from the First Order right now.”

“There really is a war, then,” Arashell says.

“There always is,” Ben admits. “But we’re going to win.”

The children smile, and Ben returns their smiles instinctively. He wishes he could remain with them, or bring them back to the _Falcon_ with him, but he’s about to go to Snoke’s Star Destroyer, and he thinks that might be even worse than this stable in Canto Bight. Whatever happens, with Kylo and Rey and even Leia; if he has to come back to Canto Bight for the children himself, then he will.

He gently kicks the Fathier’s side, and it takes off, breaking into a gallop under the moonlight.

* * *

He races through the streets of Canto Bight.

The Fathier is surprisingly smart, heeding Ben’s request for the spaceport with something like knowledge, moving quickly through the streets in the direction Ben had planned to go in anyway. There is something undeniably satisfying about seeing the wealthy inhabitants of the city forced to dive out of the way of the galloping creature, the sound of glass and china breaking under the Fathier’s hooves. The Fathier takes him all the way to the Coruscant Hotel and Casino before they manage to duck out from under the searchlights of the police flying above them on jet-sticks, and in an alleyway, Ben spots a lightweight speeder.

Ben coaxes the Fathier to a halt.

He slides down from its back on shaky legs. “Thanks, um, Distant Star.”

The Fathier nickers. Ben brushes its face, and it presses its nose into his palm. He watches as it trots away, breaking into a canter as the searchlights lock back onto it.

Ben turns to the speeder. It’s a Lancer Luxury class, chrome plated, and he would normally take a moment to properly admire it, but he just doesn’t have the time.

He clambers on, and the engine roars under him.

Racing through the streets on the bike is easy, Ben’s fast reflexes and driving skills keeping him stable and on track, passing slower transports with ease. He assumes the police are looking for a Jedi on a Fathier, and seeing as Ben is no longer on a Fathier and isn’t dressed like a Jedi the galaxy would expect, he is unchased.

He makes it back to the spaceport in no time at all, abandoning the speeder at the entrance and hurrying inside. 

The _Falcon_ is just where he left her, and Ben wastes no time climbing aboard, running straight to the cockpit. BB-8 is already there, rolling threateningly out from under the control panel, welding torch at the ready, but holsters it upon seeing Ben.

_You made it!_

“Glad to see you did, too,” Ben smiles, sliding into the pilot’s seat. “Have you seen the others?”

_Not yet._

He powers the _Falcon_ on, shaking his sleeve back to look at the binary beacon; Finn is still far away, and getting further.

 _“Loz noy jitat,”_ Ben swears.

 _Nice language,_ BB-8 says, approvingly.

The _Falcon_ flies out of the spaceport, and Ben keeps her low, flying over the city, following the signal of the beacon to the grassy cliffs just past the city limits. The searchlights of the police’s jet-sticks tell him he’s headed in the right direction, and before too long, Ben flies alongside the cliffs and sees two small figures and a Fathier standing at the edge.

He brings the _Falcon_ in close, dropping her down below the top of the cliff, so her roof runs parallel to the cliff’s edge. He reaches forward and hits the switch to open the hatch on the top of the _Falcon,_ hoping Finn and Rose will get the hint.

They do; Ben hears two comforting thumps, and then two pairs of running feet burst into the cockpit.

Rose looks very windswept, and Finn a little nauseous. BB-8 stays well out of his way.

“Rose, plug in the coordinates for the fleet,” Ben says, and Rose hurries to do just that. She picks up Rey’s note before she can sit on it, holding it out, but Finn takes it before Ben can. As he guides the ship up to the stars, Ben sees Finn read the note out of the corner of his eye.

 _“Bail?”_ Finn exclaims, looking up at Ben. “She’s going to try and turn _Kylo Ren?”_

Rose’s head snaps around. Ben grimaces. 

“I would explain, but I’m having a hard time understanding it myself,” he admits.

Finn sinks into the chair behind Rose.

“Okay, got it,” Rose says, and Ben looks, a route map unrolling before their eyes.

The fleet is just fifteen minutes away by lightspeed.

“Looks like we’ve got a little time,” Finn says. “Care to fill us in on what’s been going on with you the last few days?”

Ben pauses. “Is that it?”

It’s been weeks on Ahch-To; almost a full month.

Luke had said time passes differently there, but the confirmation of it is still surprising.

“Okay,” Ben says, before Finn or Rose can ask. “Let’s talk. You also have to tell me what’s happened with the Resistance. When did you leave D’Qar?”

* * *

They talk the whole flight.

They give him a fast and dirty rundown of the previous days in the Resistance fleet. The air raid of D’Qar, the destruction of a First Order dreadnought. The fallout. The loss.

Rose’s eyes shutter during this bit of the tale, and Finn squeezes her arm in a comforting gesture. Ben doesn’t ask.

They tell him about the First Order tracking them through lightspeed. Rose goes into great detail of how it works, with Finn interjecting every now and then to offer his perspective as someone who used to work on a Star Destroyer. They work well together, Ben decides. Finishing the other’s sentences and starting up new thoughts. A bit like Finn and Rey.

Ben aches, that hollow cavity in his chest starting up again.

The painful physical reminder; the feeling of his heart having been torn out. He is walking around with an empty pit in his chest.

Leaving the _Falcon_ on autopilot, the three of them go into the galley. Ben pulls out boxes of crackers and protein bars, and Finn and Rose fall on them with a rabid hunger. Though Ben is feeling far too distressed to eat, he forces himself to, knowing he needs the strength.

He opens a new cupboard to search for something to drink, and comes face to face with a porg.

 _“Ooh!”_ Rose exclaims. “What is that?”

“A porg,” Ben says, gruff. The porg hops out of the cupboard, cheerfully _kerooing_ as it does so, and Ben hears other _keroos_ echoing around the _Falcon._ Just as Rey had feared; they’ve got a full infestation.

“Huh,” Finn says, holding his protein bar close to his chest as a porg flies out from under the dejarik table to make a grab for it.

They return to the cockpit, and it’s like that one porg has announced to the others that it’s okay to come back out. There is a porg poking around the control panel, and another trying to tear up the leather covering the passenger seats. Ben sighs at the mess, but decides it isn’t worth his time to try and do something about it.

Rey’s note lies abandoned on one of the seats. Ben takes it, folds it up, and sticks it in his shirt pocket.

Though they undoubtedly see this movement, neither Rose nor Finn say anything.

Instead, the three of them sit down, and rest. Finn leans back as far as his seat can go, though his eyes remain open, staring at the cockpit ceiling. Rose folds herself into a complicated shape in the co-pilot’s seat, curling up as tight as she can. And Ben stretches his legs out on the control panel, and watches the stars.

Rey’s note burns a hole in his pocket.

He aches, and he aches, and he aches.

* * *

The flight is far too short to sleep, and before too long, the proximity alert goes off.

“We’re here,” Rose says, looking at the nav computer.

“We have to be quick about this,” Finn says, hurriedly. “The First Order’s scanners will pick up on this ship as soon as we’re here longer than about fifteen seconds. So, Ben, whatever you’re gonna do to get us past the security shields, you’ll have to do it fast.”

Ben nods. “Rose, switch with me. Finn, take co-pilot.”

They do, moving seamlessly without question. Ben stands in the space between the two seats, and stretches one hand up to the _Falcon’s_ ceiling, while putting the other flat on the control panel.

“Uh, Ben?” Finn prompts.

“Here’s the plan,” Ben says. “Finn, direct Rose to the most out-of-the way landing platform you can think of. It doesn’t even have to be a landing platform; it can be an exhaust vent, a docking bay, anything like that. Rose, get us there as quick as you can. And most importantly; don’t bother me until we’ve landed.”

“What are you going to do, exactly?” Rose asks.

Ben rolls his shoulders. He’s assumed the same position he had days earlier, when he and Rey approached the capital city of Zakuul.

“I’m going to hide us in the Force,” Ben says. “Which will camouflage us in their eyes, but not to their scanners. Which is why we have to move as fast as we can, so hopefully they’ll assume it’s just a blip.”

 _“Hopefully?”_ Finn repeats, aghast.

“Rebellions are built on hope,” Rose murmurs. Ben and Finn look at her, and then at each other. Finn gives an acquiescing sort of nod.

“Okay,” Ben breathes.

“Coming out of hyperspace,” Rose starts, “In three, two, one--”

The _Falcon_ jerks to a stop, and for a moment, Ben can only stare at the sight.

It looks to be the entirely of the First Order fleet, eight Star Destroyers and a hundred other cruisers in the area, a massive black Mega-class Star dreadnought dominating the scene. And just ahead of this fleet, staying just barely out of reach of the First Order’s firing range, is a single large flagship.

The _Raddus._

 _Mom,_ Ben thinks, but he doesn’t have time to reach for her now.

Instead, he pulls himself _back._

He moves internally, reaching inside himself, doing what Rey had so astutely noticed he is exceptionally good at.

Disappearing.

* * *

_The rain is a veritable torrent, pouring down around Ben, soaking his hair, cooling his skin. He stands perfectly still, head tilted up to the stars, where he watched a First Order transport containing Bail, Vesper, Lior, Hansa, and Saffron fly away._

_Behind Ben, the Temple burns._

_He is surrounded by death._

_He isn’t sure if he is feeling nothing, or everything, with the overwhelming emotions coalescing into numbness._

_Overhead, the moon is bright._

_There is nothing left for him here._

_Ben thinks of his clothes, back in his room. His boots and his jackets. His stash of Republic credits. His comlink._

_His lightsaber._

_All waiting for him to come back and claim them._

_But Ben looks at the moon, gray and judgmental, and he knows he cannot go back for them. He cannot go back for anything._

_Bail is gone. Gone to the First Order, gone to Snoke, answering the call of The Voice after a solid decade of ignoring it._

_And Ben couldn’t stop him from leaving. Could not convince him to stay._

_The grief and the guilt causes a more violent shiver in Ben than the cold of the rainwater and gusting wind ever could._

_There is absolutely no part of Ben Organa-Solo that is worth anything anymore._

_Ben leaves those things, those possessions, in the hut behind him._

_And he walks away._

* * *

A hand gently shakes his arm.

“Ben? Ben, we’ve landed.”

Ben blinks his eyes open.

Finn is standing in front of him, his hand on Ben’s arm above the control panel. Ben lowers his arms, wincing a little, finding himself surprisingly sore. He looks out the transparisteel window to an unfamiliar gray space.

“This is a repair depot for TIE fighters,” Finn explains. “We saw it was empty, and I figured, the Resistance isn’t going to be damaging any TIEs anytime soon…”

“It’s a great idea,” Rose interjects.

“Yeah,” Ben agrees. “Perfect directing, Finn. And excellent flying, Rose.”

Rose beams. “I can’t believe I’ve just flown the _Millennium Falcon!”_

Finn fumbles for his pocket, retrieving a small white comlink.

“Poe?” he calls. “Poe, are you there?”

There’s a crackle of static, and then--

_“Finn! Buddy, am I glad to hear from you. Where are you?”_

“On Snoke’s ship,” Finn says, pride lacing his voice. “And you’ll never believe who we ran into in Canto Bight: Ben!”

“Hi, Poe,” Ben says, and smiles at Poe’s delighted whoop.

 _“Ben! Kriff, you’ve got great timing. Holdo’s giving up, she’s preparing transports to evacuate the_ Raddus. _How long will it take you guys to get to the tracker?”_

* * *

Minutes later, they disembark, running down the entry ramp, Finn leading the way, Ben and Rose following, BB-8 at their heels.

“First things first,” Finn says, turning on the spot. “We need uniforms. We are incredibly obvious imposters.”

The three of them look at each other. Though Finn and Ben left their jackets on the _Falcon,_ Rose is still in her mechanic’s jumpsuit, Finn is in tan and white clothes consistent with the uniforms of the Resistance, and Ben is dressed in a plain black sweater and black trousers. None of them are wearing any kind of First Order uniform. Not to mention BB-8, a white and orange astromech droid who has no business being on this ship.

“There should be a laundry nearby,” Finn says, continuing on. “Injured TIE pilots had to have a place to get rid of their bloody clothes.”

Sure enough, it doesn’t take them long at all to find one. It looks to be empty, irons pressing uniforms, steam curling into the air, but Ben hangs back, glancing nervously at the long hallway. He can see a few stormtroopers walking, an occasional black-suited officer.

“You two change first,” he decides. “I’m the least conspicuous-looking one here. I’ll keep an eye out. And see if you can find something to mask BB-8 a bit.”

BB-8 titters a droid’s approximation of a groan, but follows Finn and Rose anyway.

Ben loiters in the hallway. He forces himself to stand straight-backed and imposing, like he has a right to be here, drawing on his height to make it so. He sees a pair of stormtroopers marching his way, an officer leading them, blasters at their sides, and he looks at them with his sharpest glare.

To his surprise, they _recoil,_ before stepping into nervous salutes. The officer looks at Ben, fear in his blue eyes.

“C-Commander Ren,” he stutters. “Is there anything we can help you with?”

Ben stares.

 _Bail,_ he wonders, _When did you take off your mask?_

It is surely the only explanation for how these stormtroopers and their First Order officer look at him and think he is Kylo Ren. At some point, Bail took off his mask, and has been walking around this ship without it; and now his identical twin can be mistaken for Kylo Ren, leader of the Knights of Ren, apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke. Dressed a bit more casually and commonly than usual, but undeniably him, with his identical face.

Ben smiles.

* * *

“This is so messed up,” Finn mumbles, quietly enough so only Ben and Rose can hear him.

Ben does agree that it is incredibly strange that he can walk freely around this dreadnought and have every single person who looks at him snap to harried and fearful attention. He doesn’t so much as acknowledge them, thinking of the way Bail walked around Starkiller Base like he owned the place. Bail was always the haughty and proud one of the twins; Ben was more likely to be lagging behind, slouching to make himself smaller. Traits that aided him in the six years he spent as an anonymous cargo hauler.

Here, people look at his face, at the lightsaber at his hip, and scurry out of his way.

It’s a bit of an ego trip.

Of the three of them, it is Finn who is struggling the most. Though he’s dressed as an officer, he continually turns his gaze down, avoiding eye contact. Ben isn’t too surprised; Finn’s lifelong training as an anonymous stormtrooper was bound to leave ingrained scars. He’s quite amazed that Finn came onto this ship at all, knowing the kind of abuse and terror he undoubtedly experienced here. It speaks so much to Finn’s character, his bravery and determination.

Although to be fair, BB-8 is also struggling in the upturned waste basket Rose put over him. He keeps running into walls, emitting colorful swears as he does.

“This way,” Finn hisses out of the corner of his mouth, and Rose hurries to follow.

Ben slows, as he is walloped with _them._

He can feel them.

Rey’s brilliant starlight, a shock of luminescence to Ben’s bereft system, the light of it cascading around him, sending him into spirals of memories, of Rey’s hazel-flecked eyes, her smile, her laugh, all of the things he has so loved about her.

And then there is the spike of cold fire, brilliant like a chemical flame, blue and flickering and annihilating everything in a burst of frost-bitten destruction. Cold as the night sky; cold as the moon. A luminescent glow of dark blue, like the lightsaber he once wielded, identical to the one his twin still carries.

Bail.

Ben stands in the middle of the hallway, torn. Somewhere above him are Rey and Bail; and moving further away from him are Rose, Finn, and BB-8, doing their best to save the Resistance.

“Lord Ren?”

Automatically, Ben turns.

A red-haired man, a general going by the insignia on his chest, walks to him, his hands clasped neatly behind his back. He’s the most high-ranking officer Ben has encountered on this ship, and so Ben meets his gaze coolly.

“General,” he drawls, mimicking the way Leia Organa would speak to government officials she was not very fond of.

The man hesitates, his eyes flickering down, taking in Ben’s dark trousers and somewhat grubby sweater, but ultimately rolls his shoulders to brush it off. “I thought you were meeting the Supreme Leader with the Jedi girl.”

_Kriff._

Rey is with Bail _and_ Snoke.

The general glances behind Ben, probably distracted by the _thump_ of BB-8 running into something. Ben does not turn around, hoping to keep the general’s attention on him and not BB-8, Finn, and Rose.

“The Supreme Leader asked me to check in on the Resistance,” Ben replies. “To confirm they have not managed to… slip away.”

The general reddens. Ben gathers that there is decidedly bad blood between this general and Kylo Ren.

“Tell the Supreme Leader that we will have the Resistance in our grasp very shortly,” the general snaps. “They’ll be out of fuel soon enough, and we will _crush_ them like the vermin they are.”

Ben raises an eyebrow coolly, ignoring the way his heart stutters in horror.

“We’ll see,” he says.

The general turns a fantastic shade of purple, but stalks off, unfortunately going in the same direction Ben had wanted to go, after Finn and Rose. There is no sense in Ben following the general now, so he turns around, choosing a different direction, moving automatically towards the cold flame and the stella nova.

Moving instinctively to Bail and Rey.

 _Rey,_ Ben thinks, and he reaches for her, sending out all his comfort and relief as he can. He knows that if Rey can feel him, then Bail and Snoke probably can, too. He knows this is alerting all three of them that he is on this ship.

He doesn’t care; he has a message to pass on to Rey, to give her strength now.

As soon as Ben thinks her name, and reaches, the world hollows out.

He sees her.

Ben freezes in place.

He’s looking down at Rey from above, standing before her. She’s staring at him, eyes wide in horror and revelation, on her knees, painfully unarmed, a bruise blossoming near her temple. In his hand, he holds his lightsaber, positioned for it to be switched on and send a beam of light directly into her heart.

Ben trembles. His hand shakes minutely with it.

 _Rey,_ he thinks. _It’s me. I’m here._

And instantly; Ben knows what he is seeing, and why.

He thinks of the words he has had in his head for nearly ten years, the words he told Rey and she took to heart, the words Luke heard from her and found intriguing. The words Ben holds dear as a personal reminder of what he can take, of all he can endure, of what can come out of his suffering.

His long-ago Force vision, made reality by him now, by his own choice.

 _There is no pain,_ Ben reaches to Rey, _There is grace._

He has no idea if the words are enough. They are all he can offer Rey now.

Suddenly, he feels a strange sort of echo in his head. A reverberating wave of another’s consciousness.

A hint of relief, from Rey; and this new presence.

 _Ben?_ whispers Bail.

And then the binary beacon on his wrist goes haywire.

Ben’s eyes snap open, unaware that he’d closed them.

Ben slams his hand on the beacon, covering it, as passing stormtroopers glance at him for the noise. Ben surreptitiously looks at the beacon, and sees it is indicating that its twin has had its panic button pressed. Wherever they are, Finn and Rose need him.

Ben hesitates.

Somewhere above him, Rey needs help. And somewhere behind him, Finn and Rose do, too. Ben stands, torn, between going to the girl he loves, who is here in a surely futile effort to turn his brother, and his friends, here to save the Resistance from annihilation.

It is an impossible choice.

One he has to make. He thinks, and he hears her voice in his head, the first voice he ever heard, the memory he clung to during his six years of solitude, the voice that forgave him and hugged him and called him her best hope.

_“I know,” Leia says. “It was the right choice. It was the choice I would have made, if I were in your shoes. But, Ben; I never wanted you to have to make that choice.”_

He knows what he has to do.

Ben turns around, and walks towards Rose and Finn.

 _My love,_ Ben thinks as he walks away, _Please forgive me._

It will have to be Rey’s turn to forgive him for leaving her.

* * *

Ben enters the main hangar of the dreadnought and immediately sees that Finn was right to press his panic button. He and Rose are on their knees, surrounded on all sides by stormtroopers, staring up at a chrome-plated stormtrooper and the red-haired general.

“... How could I ever forget you, FN-2187,” the general boasts as Ben approaches. The lines of stormtroopers on either side of him snap to attention. “I recognized your face even in that stolen officer uniform.”

Ben can’t help but be surprised that a general would remember what one deflecting stormtrooper looks like. But maybe Finn’s betrayal is part of the bad blood between him and Kylo Ren. It doesn’t really matter; as it’s turned out, Finn donning the uniform of an officer rather than a stormtrooper was a bad idea.

“And now we know of the Resistance’s pathetic plan,” the general brags, and Ben realizes he’s twirling Finn’s comlink in his hand

Two stormtroopers on either side of Rose and Finn are holding laser axes. As Ben watches, they step forward, and Finn and Rose are shoved to the ground, necks exposed.

_“Stop!”_

Ben’s voice carries, and everyone freezes. Ben sees Rose’s spine stiffen, while Finn’s practically collapses.

“Commander Ren,” the chrome-plated stormtrooper says, a female voice coming out of her modulator.

Ben walks to them, noticing how the executioners have lowered their axes.

_Now what?_

“What is happening here?” Ben asks.

“Surely you remember FN-2187,” the general says at once. “The traitor who freed the rebel pilot? He’s returned to us, though not in the way we would have hoped. And he’s brought another rebel along with him.”

“The procedure is clear, Commander,” the stormtrooper agrees. “Execution. I decided death by blaster was too kind; beheading will be much more fitting.”

Ben looks at Rose and Finn. They are doing their best to not look at him directly.

“No,” Ben says, and before anyone can question him, he says, “I’ll do it.”

He unclips his lightsaber, so his meaning cannot be misinterpreted.

The general and stormtrooper step back, as do the executioners.

“An excellent idea, my lord,” the general says, in a somewhat surprised tone of approval. Ben wonders if he should be offended on Bail’s behalf.

Ben looks at Rose and Finn, prone on their knees, hands cuffed behind their backs. They stare up at him, confusion and fear, and Ben is certain they are wondering how the hell any of them are getting out of this one.

Ben glances up at the ceiling; three full-sized AT-AT walkers are suspended there.

The next thirty seconds will have to be done very fast.

Ben holds his lightsaber hilt in one hand, raising it, preparing to ignite it--

His other hand waves through the open air, and the _click_ of the binders on Finn and Rose echo as they fall to the ground---

And Ben ignites his lightsaber.

The dark blue blade _sings._

“Commander Ren?” the stormtrooper exclaims, but Ben is already turning, lopping off the two executioners’ heads with one strike. Behind him, he hears Finn and Rose scrambling up, moving to seize the laser axes.

_“Ah.”_

Ben looks up to see the general’s cold stare.

“Captain Phasma,” he drawls, holding Ben’s gaze. The stormtrooper looks at him. “Did you know that Kylo Ren has an identical twin?” He looks at Ben’s lightsaber pointedly. “A _Jedi_ twin, as it were.”

Ben shrugs. “I guess he shouldn’t have taken off his mask.”

“Indeed,” the general snarls. He looks at the stormtroopers amassed in the area, all of whom have not moved a muscle. “What are you waiting for? Kill the Jedi!”

Ben turns his gaze back up to the ceiling, raising his free hand, drawing the Force to him, and _pulling._

The clips holding them in place are snapped. The AT-AT Walkers fall, and chaos erupts.

* * *

It is all Ben can do to keep moving, to draw as much blaster fire away from Rose and Finn as he can. It helps that the dark blue of his lightsaber makes him an obvious target, as well as the fact he looks exactly like Kylo Ren; a moment of hesitation on a stormtrooper’s part is plenty of time for him.

His blood boils as he moves, the Force guiding his steps, catching blaster fire on his lightsaber and sending it spiraling in another direction. He runs straight into an officer, spearing the officer clean through, and then he senses the laser shot his way, and with his free hand, he _catches_ the laser, absorbing it with no pain.

_Tutaminis._

_“Okay,” Rey says. “Tutaminis. Energy absorption. Can you use it?”_

_Ben smiles. “Yeah. You could shoot a blaster at me, and I would block it with my hand.”_

_Look at that,_ Ben thinks. _I guess I can still do it._

The rush of satisfaction is heady, but the fact remains that it’s just him, Rose, and Finn against legions of stormtroopers and officers, and they can’t keep this up forever. The _Millennium Falcon_ is a hangar away, if it hasn’t been discovered yet, and the First Order knows that the Resistance is fleeing the _Raddus_ in small transports, and it’s only a matter of time before they destroy them all.

And Rey is upstairs with Snoke and Bail, and Ben cannot get to her, not now the First Order knows Kylo Ren’s identical twin is on this ship.

Behind him, Rose crouches behind a stack of crates, firing with a stolen blaster, while Finn swings the laser axe at everyone he can.

 _Come on,_ Ben thinks, to no one at all, to the Force itself. _Help us._

And his prayer is answered in a way he never would have expected.

There is a deafening _screech,_ a flash of brilliant white light, and the world ends.

* * *

_Ben?_

_Please don’t be dead._

_Ben, where are you?_

_I’m so sorry._

_You were right. I was wrong._

_Please don’t be dead._

* * *

Ben comes to in a world filled with fire and ash.

The hangar is burning, flames and smoke and sparks raining down from every metal object. He coughs, sitting up, taking in the impossible sight of a ship that has suffered a hit so catastrophic it seems to have been torn to pieces. But how this could have happened to a ship as massive as this dreadnought is beyond Ben.

“Ben!”

He turns around, and sees Rose waving frantically at him. She’s got her hands wrapped around Finn’s ankle, and is trying to pull him to safety. Ben stumbles to his feet, but by the time he’s reached them, Finn has woken up, scrambling to his feet.

“There’s a ship that way!” Rose yells, gesturing towards the hangar’s end, where a small transport has miraculously been left unscathed.

But Ben shakes his head.

“I can’t leave the _Falcon,”_ he says. “You two go on ahead, get to safety--”

“Don’t be an idiot, Ben,” Finn snaps. Ash is settling in his dark hair. “We aren’t leaving you here.”

Rose nods in confirmation.

Ben’s shoulders sag.

The loyalty, the generosity, the potential of sacrifice for him, here; it is so much.

“Okay,” he breathes. “In that case, we--”

_Hey!_

They look up.

Nothing Ben has ever seen in his life has prepared him for the sight of BB-8 in a First Order AT-ST. 

He stares. 

_Can we get out of here already?_ BB-8 demands. _The_ Falcon _is nearby._

Luckily, Rose is able to overcome her disbelief quickly. She breaks into a run to BB-8, halfway to him before Ben and Finn can snap out of it.

_“Traitor!”_

Phasma, the chrome-plated stormtrooper, approaches. As she does, several other stormtroopers move in, surrounding Ben and Finn. Rose, now a good twenty yards away, watches in horror. Ben catches her gaze and moves quickly, yanking the binary beacon off his wrist and throwing it to her. He only gets a brief sight of her catching it before she has to dive down, as stormtroopers fire at her. Ben smiles in relief.

If she and BB-8 can get to the _Falcon_ and bring it over here, then they’ve all got a way out.

Rose continues her run, out of range of the stormtroopers’ blasters.

Ben calls his lightsaber back to his hand, sending it flying out of the rubble to him. He ignites it, spinning it around in his hand, while Finn bends down, seizing a riot control baton that’d been lost in the calamity. They stand side by side, Jedi and former stormtrooper, as Phasma glares at them. Her helmet has been damaged; one blue eye peeks out at them.

Finn steps forward, and Ben looks at him, and his breath is taken away by the mix of pain, anger, and purpose in Finn’s face.

“You call for order,” Finn breathes. “And you _beat us down._ You call me a traitor, but when your shiny neck was threatened, you squealed like a _hog._ The evidence blew up at Starkiller, but you and I know the truth. When I put a gun to your head, _you_ shut down Starkiller’s shields! Now what would your troops do if they found out? Or your masters?”

Phasma stares back.

“Who would believe a story like that?” she growls.

But Ben is watching the stormtroopers that surround them.

They’re moving, slowly but thoughtfully, exchanging glances between themselves and at Ben and Finn.

Curious. Doubtful.

Ben glances at Finn, who is also studying his previous comrades with something like realization.

Phasma comes to the same realization at the same time.

In a rapid move, she fires, killing all five of her soldiers.

 _“No,”_ Finn yells, and charges her. He swings the baton, cutting her blaster in half, and she screams. She comes back though, lugging a heavy metal fist at Finn, and he goes flying.

Ben takes a step forward, raising his lightsaber.

_“No!”_

It’s Finn, again. Ben turns around.

Finn is struggling to his feet, using the baton for balance. He’s staring hard at Ben, shaking his head.

“No,” Finn repeats. “She’s _mine.”_

Righteousness. Fury. Heartbreak. Vengeance.

Ben understands.

He stands down, and Finn runs at Phasma, who reveals a thin lance, and meets his strike.

Ben runs ahead, to the end of the hangar.

There are few adversaries to cut down, most of them having been killed in the disaster or knocked away by the force of it, so his way is mostly clear. He sweeps debris out of his way as he goes, telekinetically throwing it aside, making an easily navigable path for Finn, whenever he defeats Phasma. He does glance back every now and then, to confirm Finn is still winning his duel, that he doesn’t need Ben to step in.

He never does.

Finn, Ben knows, has the makings of an excellent swordsman.

A lightsaber in his hand would be wondrous.

As Ben runs, he reaches out in the Force, searching for the stella nova that is Rey.

And, because he’s Ben, because he can’t help it, because he always will: he looks for Bail, too.

He can’t feel either of them.

Ben is not prepared to think about what this means. There is too much at stake for him to fall apart now.

He spins around, as Phasma shrieks behind him. Finn has knocked her off her feet with a decisive blow.

“You were always _scum,”_ she declares.

Finn grins at her.

“Rebel scum,” he agrees.

And then he smashes her helmet into pieces.

When Finn looks up, he catches Ben’s gaze, and his face splits in euphoria and gratification.

“Good job,” Ben tells him.

“Thanks,” Finn says. “I--”

He breaks off, as flood lights burst into the hangar, and the _Millennium Falcon_ appears, hovering just outside the dreadnought. Its lights flash two times, and Ben and Finn sprint towards the ship, as the entry ramp lowers. They jump across open space, and run up it.

Rose and BB-8 are waiting in the cockpit. Rose immediately gives the controls over to Ben, sliding into the co-pilot’s seat, while Finn sits behind her. Ben drops into the pilot’s seat, and guides the _Falcon_ away from the burning dreadnought.

“Do you know where the Resistance was headed?” he asks, but cuts himself off.

A full fleet of First Order ships are flying ahead of them, headed towards a brilliant white and blue planet.

“I’d say that one,” Finn says.

“Yep,” Rose agrees.

Ben nods. “Ready for another battle?”

The three of them look at each other. They are covered in soot and smoke; Rose has a burn on her cheek, while Finn’s hair looks a little gray due to the ash that had fallen over them, and Ben knows he looks just as bad. But there is clear determination and confidence in all of them. They have faced down a full squadron of First Order combatants, and emerged victorious.

And the Resistance needs all the help it can get.

Ben pushes the throttle forward, and the _Falcon_ chases the fleet towards the planet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would die on a battlefield for Rose Tico, and you may quote me on that.
> 
> I know Finn gave the binary beacon to Poe when he and Rose left for Canto Bight; but what if he didn't? I don't think it's too weird to think he may have kept it. Similarly, since Hux in canon knows who Kylo Ren really is, it tracks he'd be aware of the existence of Kylo's identical twin. And if you weren't expecting to run into said identical twin, you'd probably assume you were dealing with Kylo Ren at the start.
> 
> I loved the Canto Bight sequence. It was a fully contained STAR WARS story about the importance of perseverance, and the power of being a visible hero for someone who has never had an advocate. These children will never forget what happened there, particularly the sight of the Jedi who struck down their abuser. Legends power hope.
> 
> Rose's "Rebellions are built on hope" line is a direct shoutout to my great love, Cassian Andor. Is the whole "visibly hiding the Falcon while not hiding its presence" a good plan? Probably not! Do I think it is still ok for this fic? It'd better be.
> 
> Finn's speech to Phasma, and the stormtroopers' doubt, is lifted from a deleted scene from TLJ. This whole chapter is probably the most prescient of this story, as the shape of the future is starting to develop.
> 
> Next chapter will be going back in time a bit, to find out WTF happened with Rey, Bail, and Snoke.


	8. The Mirror's Lesson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You are your own best thing."

Rey thinks that leaving Ben unconscious in the _Millennium Falcon_ is the hardest thing she has ever had to do.

Harder than surviving a sandstorm on Jakku with only a sheet of duraplast to shield her from the sharp grains. Harder than spending an entire week living on only a half portion. Harder than going out to work in the Graveyard of Giants while fighting a nasty flu.

Rey kneels in the space between the pilot’s chair and the co-pilot’s chair, where she’s carefully buckled Ben in, to make sure he does not fall during his solo flight. She runs her hand over his soft hair, her fingers trembling with fear and doubt, tears sliding down her face.

Her vision was so _clear._

It was her and Bail.

Killing Snoke.

It was her and Bail, going back to Ben.

It was Bail and Ben hugging tightly, laughing and crying.

It was Leia, smiling so wide she looked younger than her years, her arms wrapped around her boys.

It was Luke, on the island, sitting in deep meditation with Bail and Ben.

Rey has lived her whole life without any family. She yearns for them desperately.

She has a chance now to bring back the only living family left to Ben, Leia, and Luke. Of course she is going to try.

She leans over, pressing a kiss to his forehead, gripping his shirtfront in her hands. 

“I will come back to you,” she whispers, her tears staining his skin.

Against his skin, she tries the words, mouthing them and not vocalizing them: _I love you._

Perhaps, next time she sees him, she will be ready to say it.

* * *

She has one shot to get this drop-off right.

Rey plugs in the coordinates flashing on the binary beacon on Ben’s wrist, sees that it sets a course for a planet just fifteen minutes away from where she’s being dropped off. She feels heartened at the thought that Ben might sleep that entire flight, that he might wake to Leia waiting for him.

She steps into the escape pod of the _Falcon._ It’s incredibly old, as ancient as the ship itself, and she has to wiggle a bit to get inside it. She clings to the Skywalker lightsaber, drawing comfort from its solid shape, its sureness.

She waits.

The _Falcon_ lurches out of hyperspace, and there is a brief, floating moment where Rey holds her breath, and hopes the complicated code she entered into the ship’s computer worked. And then the escape pod is jettisoned, floating numbly in space, and Rey gets a glimpse of metal transitioning into blurred blue as the _Falcon_ jumps back to lightspeed.

Ben is gone.

Rey is alone.

The single engine in the escape pod rumbles, and it pushes forward, searching for the most heavily populated thing near it.

The massive First Order dreadnought.

Rey catches glimpses of the First Order Navy as the escape pod sails through it. There are Star Destroyers, of course, at least a dozen. Plus frigates, light cruisers, warships, tankers, bombers, and tons of comparatively light TIE fighters. Rey watches them all pass in front of her window with a horrified kind of awe. So much money; so much potential for destruction.

And then the blackness of space is swallowed up by steel gray.

The escape pod slides to a surprisingly smooth stop, and Rey waits.

_Bail,_ she reaches.

And as if she’s summoned him, he appears above her, face framed by the small window on the escape pod. There’s a hiss sound as it slides open, compressed air gushing out, and Rey finds herself looking at Kylo Ren in person for the first time since Starkiller Base.

She is somehow surprised, still, by how _identical_ he is to Ben. Even their hair is the same length.

The only differing factor is the ugly, thin scar running down the right side of his face.

Bail stares at her, and looks into the escape pod briefly. He turns his head, peering out of the landing platform, to the empty black of deep space outside the dreadnought. 

And then he walks away.

Rey is only given a moment to gawk before a couple stormtroopers approach. One holds binders in their hands, and Rey can’t help but think of Luke’s parting words to her.

_“Step lightly, Rey. This is not going to go the way you think.”_

* * *

Bail does not go far; Rey is led to him by two stormtroopers. One of the stormtroopers presents him with her lightsaber.

“Her weapon, my lord,” he pronounces.

Bail takes it, his gloved fingers curling tightly around the hilt. The stormtroopers shuffle away, and he takes her by the elbow, pulling her to an elevator. They step on together. Bail takes a few steps behind her, but she can feel him, as sharp and cold as a shard of ice.

As they begin to rise, Rey clenches her hands into fists. The binders are cutting into her wrists, her hands threatening to purple.

_Don’t panic,_ Rey thinks, _It will all work out. Trust the Force._

“You don’t have to do this,” Rey says. She keeps her gaze ahead, focused, though she dearly wishes she could face him. She will, she just has to time it right. “I feel the conflict in you. It’s tearing you apart.”

_Silence._

Rey breathes out through her nose. She turns on the spot.

“Bail.”

Finally, a bit of emotion. It is small, but when he turns his head, automatically responding to the name he claims to have renounced, there is a brief glimpse of something yearning and lost. But then he blinks, and it’s gone again.

“When we touched hands,” Rey says, “I saw your future. Just the shape of it, but so solid, and so clear. You will not bow before Snoke. You will turn. I’ll help you, I saw it.”

“I saw something, too.”

She blinks.

She doesn’t know why she’s surprised. If she received a Force vision in that brief, shining moment, then it wouldn’t be too strange for Bail to get one, as well.

“Because of what I saw,” Bail says, “I know that when the moment comes, you’ll be the one to turn. You’ll stand with me, Rey.”

Rey is already shaking her head.

“No, that isn’t right,” she says.

“It is,” Bail insists. “All of this is playing out just as I saw. It’s the same.” His face hardens. “You couldn’t get Ben to come with you, could you? Even now… Even now he won’t stay with me.”

Rey stares in numb horror.

“But he didn’t stop you from coming here, either,” Bail muses. “He didn’t prevent your paths from diverging. We really are the same, aren’t we, Rey? Abandoned, and alone?”

The elevator slides to a smooth stop.

The doors behind Rey open.

Bail takes her by the arm again, turning her around, and leading her into the room.

It’s a throne room, with shining black floors and tall red walls, everything in the room accented in black and red and gray. There are guards of some kind, coated in heavy red armor and capes, positioned every ten feet or so along the monochrome walls. And sitting on the large throne in the center of the space is a tall, thin humanoid man. He’s dressed in robes of gold, a heavy ring set on one of his wrinkled fingers. It is his face that is the most disorienting to Rey; a massive scar, or crack, has torn through it. It is not too unlike the one on Bail’s, save that this man’s scar has disfigured him.

She doesn’t know for sure, but she would bet everything she has that this is Snoke.

The Voice.

“Well done, my good and faithful apprentice,” Snoke drawls as Bail pulls her forward. “My faith in you is restored.”

Bail drops to a knee behind her, leaving Rey standing alone to face Snoke. With a click, the binders on her wrists are telekinetically released.

He smiles widely at her, a smile that is predatory and mocking.

“Young Rey,” he says. _“Welcome.”_

Rey forces herself to remain still, to hold Snoke’s gaze, even as her heart is threatening to thud right out of her chest.

“Come closer, child,” Snoke coos. Rey remains unmoved. His smile darkens, though it becomes no less derisive. “So much strength… Darkness rises, and light to meet it. I knew, and told, my young apprentice that as he grew stronger, so would his equal in the light. Naturally, that equal is his own twin brother; the Jedi who fled like a coward rather than accept his destiny.”

“He is not a coward,” Rey spits.

Snoke grins, all teeth. “You’re right. I do not think he is, not anymore. His flight was cowardly, but his return to the Force was anything but. What an irrepressible beam of _light_ that boy is. Power and strength mirrored by his own brother. How fortuitous it was for me, that the daughter of Darth Vader birthed twin boys. And then… There was _you.”_

“Me?” Rey echoes, before she can stop herself.

“A variable even I did not foresee,” Snoke says. “The Force works in strange, yet divine ways. It could not be simple coincidence that the droid that kickstarted the return of Ben Organa-Solo found its way to your naive hands. You, I realized… You have a purpose, here. A purpose in my plan. I thought any anomaly I came across would be Skywalker himself, and yet…”

Rey is nearly clipped as Snoke summons the Skywalker lightsaber out of Bail’s hand, catching it smoothly. He shrugs, sardonically, and sets the lightsaber down on the space next to him. He turns back to Rey.

“I said, _closer.”_

Rey is lifted off her feet, and pulled to Snoke as if by a hook around her waist.

“You underestimate Ben Organa-Solo,” Rey says, as she is pulled. “And Bail Organa-Solo. And Skywalker. And _me.”_ She is right in front of Snoke now, hovering a little in the air before him. “It will be your downfall.”

“Oh?” Snoke asks, and his face lilts in a comically astonished expression, and Rey’s blood runs cold. “Have you seen something? A weakness in my apprentice, perhaps? Is that why you came? Completely alone, and that is a thing I certainly did not see coming.”

Behind Rey, she can sense Bail looking up, at last.

“Young fool,” Snoke snarls, and Rey turns her head a little as his spit settles on her face. “It was _I_ who bridged your minds. _I_ stoked Ren’s conflicted soul. I knew he was not strong enough to hide it from you, and you were not wise enough to resist the bait.”

Numb shock spreads through Rey.

She wishes she could see Bail’s face.

That first day, that first time, he had told her that she couldn’t be the one to create the bridge between them, that she was not strong enough for it. And yet, somehow, the entire time; she hadn’t really thought about the mechanics of it, save for glancing through the Jedi texts. And there were no answers to be found in any of the tomes. 

It was Snoke. It was all Snoke.

“Why me?” Rey asks, quietly. “Why me, and not Ben?”

“It should have been Ben,” Snoke says, agreeing with Rey’s unspoken assessment. “And it would have been. If Ben had not let himself fall into my apprentice’s grasp on Takodana. If he had not then experienced the full weight of his brother’s power, and desire for it. If I had not gotten that deep dive into the way Ben Organa-Solo _thinks.”_

Snoke cackles. Rey wishes to exit her skin, the horror and the shock and despair rolling through her.

“Because Ben is far more _careful,”_ Snoke snaps. “After he returned from his catastrophic failure on Starkiller Base, I plumbed my apprentice’s mind. I witnessed his every interaction with his brother. And I saw the truth of what Ben Organa-Solo is, a truth that both you and Kylo Ren seem to fail to grasp: Ben is _wise._ Far wiser than either of you, and wiser, even, than his Master. It is all that careful thought and cleverness in him that my apprentice lacks. His six years of solitude gave him time to think and reflect, and he has become a better Jedi for it.” Snoke smirks. “Ben would have seen through my attempt right away. He would have resisted the connection. I spent over a _decade_ trying to turn him, and was unable to. If I connected Ben and Kylo Ren, I would have had to fear losing my own apprentice.” Snoke looks at Rey with such cruelty it makes her tremble. “Kylo Ren’s own _brother_ failed to turn him. What made you think that _you,_ nobody, nothing, somehow _could?”_

And Rey has no answer for this.

“As I said, I was surprised to learn you came here alone,” Snoke muses. “I expected you would either not come here at all, or you would come here with Ben at your side. Because that is what I aimed for, of course. I wanted Ben here, and I believed, wrongly, that only you would be able to do that. Surely, I thought… He would follow you.”

Rey swallows.

“During Kylo Ren’s interrogation, Ben thought of you; did he tell you that? When Kylo Ren informed him that it is love that makes him _weak._ He thought of you.”

Ben had not told Rey this.

Her heart stutters in her.

Snoke continues, “And then on the _island…_ Well. You might have caused my apprentice to flush when he found you laying with his brother, but I saw the scene for what it was: an opportunity. A confirmation that my plan was as brilliant as I had hoped. Love does make Ben weak. Surely, if you decided to come here, he would join you. And yet he didn’t? Did he refuse you? Is he still on the island with Skywalker?”

Rey stares him down. Snoke curls his fingers, and she is moved closer, until he can lift his hand, and shape his palm on her cheek.

“You will give me Ben and Skywalker now,” Snoke declares, and Rey’s breaths come in faster pants, holding his stare. “And I shall kill them, and you, and the Jedi Order.”

“No,” Rey says.

“Oh, yes,” Snoke replies.

He abruptly shoves her back, sending her higher into the air. Sharp spazzes zip through Rey; something hot and barbed and acidic running inside her.

“Give me everything,” Snoke snarls from below.

The sensations turn to a raw, unhinged kind of agony.

And Rey screams, and screams, and screams.

* * *

_“Do you remember them at all?”_

_Rey stares into the fire. Ben leans over her, pressing a series of soft kisses to her spine. Goosebumps pebble on her skin in response, and she feels him smile into her back, his hair tickling her bare skin._

_“Not really,” Rey admits. “Just that voice, saying that one thing. Do you remember what it was? I told you, but it was a while back--”_

_“‘The sun will keep you safe.’”_

(Ahch-To, the tall island, the green hills, the wild sea, the brutal wind.)

_Rey smiles. Ben pays attention to everything; she should not doubt he’d remember her telling him that memory, not when it came during their conversation under the stars of Takodana, not when it came when they were both feeling at the precipice of something new. Ben returning to the Force after six years separated from it, Rey stepping into the Force knowingly for the first time._

_And the precipice of_ them, _and knowing and loving each other._

(Luke in front of her, Luke telling her, “Tomorrow, at dawn. Three lessons. I will teach you the ways of the Jedi.”)

_Rey turns on her back, to look at Ben. He has his head propped up in one hand, and is watching her with dark eyes so soft and warm she almost cannot bear it._

_“And you have no idea what it means?” he asks._

(Ben in front of her: “Before we start, the Jedi have a word for calling an end to a fight. _Solah.”)_

_She shakes her head. “No. Nothing about the sun on Jakku was safe. It swallowed up everything, drowned out what was left in heat and blisters. It tried to kill me, more than once. The sheer scalding temperature, the awful burns it placed on my skin…”_

_“You aren’t as tan as I would have expected, for living on a desert world.”_

(“I’ve seen this raw strength only twice before,” Luke hisses. “In Bail and Ben Organa-Solo.”)

_Rey rolls her eyes. “I got smarter about it eventually. I didn’t go out to scavenge unless I was mostly all covered up. I’d change the placement of my arm and leg wrappings every other day, so my skin never got too burned. Only a little crispy.”_

_She offers him a joking smile._

_Ben looks sad, and Rey supposes the imagery of her doing this ritual is a little depressing._

_She’s so used to it._

(Rey, looking sadly at Ben: “You’re good at that. Hiding yourself. Disappearing.”)

_“Even now, I keep forgetting I don’t really have to worry about a sunburn,” Rey says, trying to make light of it. “Not here, at least. The sun is too shallow.”_

_Ben picks up her hand, and presses a kiss to her knuckles. “I hate that you had to live like that. I hate that your family left you.”_

_“I do, too,” Rey admits, because she cannot tell him she’s gotten over it, that she’s forgiven them, because she has not. And she tries to limit her lies to Ben._

_“I might have made it up,” Rey adds. “‘The sun will keep you safe.’ It kind of sounds like something I’d pretend my parents said to me when they left me on Jakku. That they did it with my safety in mind, that there was a clear purpose in them picking Jakku, instead of a kinder world. I wouldn’t be surprised if I made it up, in an effort to… to make the loss easier to bear.”_

(“I’ll stay with you, Rey,” Ben tells her, squeezing her hand. “As long as you want me. I won’t leave you. You’ll always have me.”)

_“False memory,” Ben murmurs._

_“Yeah. Do you have any?”_

_Ben’s smile is wry. “I’d hardly know, would I?”_

_“I guess,” Rey allows. “Making up memories is probably bad, so…”_

_“If it brought you comfort,” Ben muses, “Then I wouldn’t consider it to be a bad thing. It’s just a survival instinct. A way for you to protect yourself.”_

_“When the sun couldn’t?” Rey asks, dryly._

(“My love,” she whispers, and Ben stiffens, and she knows he has realized what is about to happen. “Please forgive me.”)

_“Sure sounds like it couldn’t,” Ben agrees, serious. “It’s important that you draw your strength from wherever you can, Rey. And if there is nothing else: It’s important you learn how to find strength in yourself. That is what will save you, and prevent you from losing yourself.”_

_“Don’t the Jedi find strength in others, in the Force?” Rey asks, more confused than anything else._

_Ben gives a little shrug, catching Rey’s hand, and holding it to his bare chest. His heart beats under her palm._

_“I think it’s important,” Ben says, quietly, “To draw strength wherever we can. We don’t know what losses we will be handed next. When you only have yourself, your own mind and grace and ideals… Cling to it. Don’t ever lose it.” Ben looks at her. “You are your own best thing.”_

* * *

Slowly, Rey opens her eyes.

She’s lying flat on her back in the middle of Snoke’s throne room. The ceiling over her is a matte black, completely unremarkable and uninteresting. She wiggles her fingers and toes, and is relieved to find everything is working.

Distantly, she realizes Snoke is laughing.

“Well, well, well,” he says. “I did not expect Skywalker to be so _wise!_ We will give him the death he desires. After the rebels are gone, we will go to his planet, and obliterate the entire island.”

Rey struggles to a sitting-up position. She glances back. Bail is still there, kneeling, and looking at her with a completely blank expression.

Some things in the room have changed; it looks like a few of the guards have moved, and there is a datapad at Snoke’s side, opposite the Skywalker lightsaber. Rey wonders how long she was unconscious.

“And _Ben…”_ Rey snaps her head back to Snoke, who has his chin steepled in his fingers in thought. “It’s unfortunate that Ben has probably left that planet you sent him to by now. If you had not abandoned him so cruelly… I might anticipate he’d come here after you. But surely he understands that you’ll have been forced to give me the location of Skywalker, and his loyalty to the Jedi Order will send him back to that planet to try and save his Master. Perhaps we will be lucky, and destroy them both in one cruel stroke.”

Rey leaps to her feet, more smoothly than she had prepared for in her slightly disoriented state. She stretches her arm out, calling the lightsaber to her like she had on Ilum. To her surprise it shoots right past her, circles, and zips back to Snoke, clipping Rey on the head as it goes.

She straightens, fighting the urge to rub the bruise surely forming on her skull.

“Tell me something, Rey of Nowhere,” Snoke says, and Rey’s heart thuds at the name, the brief honorific bestowed on her by Luke. “What is it like? How does it feel, to know you broke a Jedi’s heart?”

_“Be careful with him, Rey,” Luke says. His ice blue eyes are tight, challenging, as if seeing something in Rey that she can’t see herself. “Don’t break his heart.”_

“I didn’t,” Rey spits.

Snoke looks distinctly unimpressed. “You left him, did you not? As I, and my apprentice know, _love_ is Ben Organa-Solo’s weakness. One his own Master does not seem to have attempted to caution him against. It was the catalyst of many a Jedi’s fall, including that of his own grandfather, who fell to the Dark in a futile attempt to save his wife. Perhaps it will be the catalyst for Ben’s own fall?”

Rey is already shaking her head. “No. It won’t. He’s too _good.”_

Snoke studies her.

“I see now that I have wasted my time searching out Skywalker,” Snoke says. “I should have put all my focus on hunting down Ben. Skywalker shirks his duties as head of the New Jedi Order, and Ben picks up the slack with more grace and wisdom than I ever anticipated. He took you on as an apprentice so fearlessly for someone who fears so much. How poetic that his one leap of faith should cause the destruction of everything he has loved.”

Rey is running at Snoke before she can make the conscious choice to do so.

Carelessly, he waves his hand, and she is diverted off her course; she struggles, but it is no use. She is swept to a mirror at the side of the room. As Rey watches, the wall behind it opens, revealing the mirror is a magnifying glass, showing her the view outside the dreadnought.

Two dozen small transports, rapidly being fired upon.

“The entire Resistance,” breathes Snoke, as Rey stares in mute panic, “on those transports. Soon, they will be gone. For you, here, all is lost.”

She spins around.

_No,_ Rey thinks. _All is not lost. Not yet._

For her. For Finn, Poe, Chewie, and Leia, and everyone else on those transports.

For Luke Skywalker, who warned her of all of this.

For Ben, whose heart she has broken.

She does not bother trying to summon the Skywalker lightsaber. Instead, she lifts her hand, and Kylo Ren’s lightsaber sails through the air to land in her hand. She takes it, holding it aloft, and turning on the emitter switch.

It is absolutely identical in size and shape to Ben’s, save that its blade is a spasming, angry red. It spits, vibrating a little in her hands.

“Ooh!” Snoke crows with deranged delight, waving down his guards as they turn on Rey. “And that fiery spit of hope. You, Rey of Nowhere, have the true spirit of a Jedi.”

With a rabid snarl, Rey runs at Snoke, though she knows she will not be able to get to him. She does it because it’s instinct. Because she is so afraid. Because she is full of regret. 

Because she has to do it.

Snoke throws her aside, and she lands hard, on her back. Bail’s lightsaber spins out of her hand, sliding in front of him again.

“And because of that,” Snoke murmurs, “You must die.”

Rey gasps as she is jerked back up, on her knees, and spun around. Bail kneels before her, eyes locked on his Master.

“My worthy apprentice,” Snoke declares. “Son of Darkness, heir to Lord Vader. Where there was conflict, I now sense resolve. Where there was weakness, there is now strength. Complete your training, and fulfill your destiny!”

Bail picks up his sword.

He walks to Rey, until he is standing over her.

“I know what I have to do,” he says, and her heart freezes.

Those are the same words he said to Han, right before he murdered him.

_I was wrong,_ Rey thinks. _I was so wrong._

Still, she tries: “Bail.”

Snoke laughs behind her. “You think you can turn him? Pathetic child, Lord Ren tortured his own brother, and killed his own father. What meaning do you hold for _him?_ I cannot be betrayed. I cannot be beaten. I see his mind, I see his every intent.”

Bail holds her gaze, and Rey searches for something to say.

She has nothing.

She is out of time.

Still: she reaches out.

_Bail,_ she thinks, but there is nothing. _Bail, please. Not like this. If not for me, then for Ben._

If she dies now, at Bail’s hands: It will destroy Ben.

He stares at her, unmoved. He stretches his arm out, lightsaber poised to spear through her heart.

“Yes,” Snoke breathes. “I see him turning the lightsaber to strike true. And now--”

Both Bail and Rey abruptly still, suddenly transfixed. Suddenly called.

_Ben._

He is a ray of sunlight through an overcast sky. A patch of warmth in a desolate field of gray.

She can hear him, his voice in her head. He’s close.

_Rey. It’s me. I’m here._

“--Foolish child, he ignites it--”

Bail’s eyes are very wide. When he blinks, Rey feels, bizarrely, almost like she is looking directly at Ben and not his brother.

Bail’s hand trembles.

She can still hear Ben’s voice. And Bail’s. 

The two of them in sync. 

_There is no pain—_

“--And _kills_ his true enemy!”

_\--There is grace._

* * *

Rey lands, hard, on her knees.

She scrambles, rolling onto her side, turning around, in time to see the blade of shimmering blue still lodged through Snoke’s middle. His eyes are open, comically wide, mouth similarly round. In the next moment, the blade is pulled through him, and out him, moving in a straight line, and Rey lifts her arm, and catches it.

Dimly, Rey is aware that Snoke’s guards are shouting shocked, angry cries. Dimly, she sees them unsheathing weapons, and moving to her.

To _them._

Rey gets to her feet, lightsaber clutched in her hands, to stare at Bail.

He holds her gaze, but there is something a little wild in his eyes.

_This is it,_ Rey thinks, and sees the resolution mirrored back at her. _This is why I came here._

His blade lights up in a roar of red light.

They turn as one, back to back, and meet the furious guards in a wave of plasma and fire and righteous resolve.

_I was right,_ Rey thinks.

Bail Organa-Solo has returned.

* * *

It is a vicious fight, and the first time Rey has gone up against multiple opponents.

Ben had made it look so easy back on Ilum, as the snow fell and the base burned. He’d moved flawlessly and fearlessly, his lightsaber an extension of himself, the Force a tool at his disposal. His opponents were injured then, but he was too, and of the three of them he was the most serene. The undeniable victor.

On Snoke’s dreadnought, Rey fights furiously, relying on her wits and that _fiery spit of hope_ and _true Jedi spirit_ Snoke had seen in her.

A guard with a strange weapon of coiled light throws his weapon like a whip, and it snares her lightsaber in it. Rey tugs, growling as she is unable to free it, and is instead pulled inexorably closer, towards the point of the weapon’s blade. When she is close, so close the sharp point is close to breaking her skin, she leans forward, and instead does a complicated ducking motion.

She watches the Skywalker lightsaber slide cleanly into Snoke’s red armored guard, and feels only a thrill of satisfaction. One adversary down; time to face the next.

The next is standing further in the room, his weapon two red stakes, plasma firing at each end. He steps towards her, moving them smoothly.

Rey mimics him, swinging her lightsaber, baring her teeth, and snarling.

Across the room, she catches glimpses of Bail fighting his opponents. Like his brother, he uses the Force as a tool, bringing opponents flying through the air close to him so he can land a devastating blow at close range. He is not afraid to fight physically, either, landing hard kicks in vulnerable places. When two guards seem to have caught him and his lightsaber in their grasp, he rears back and jabs forward, knocking them both aside, and catching a third opponent on his lightsaber.

Rey is down to just one opponent but the two separate weapons are confusing her; she’s never dealt with an opponent like this.

One of the stakes cuts her dominant arm, and she cries out.

Bail and his three opponents are a blur of black and red.

Flame and sparks and ash fall heavily through the room.

Rey’s opponent lands a heavy kick in her midriff, and she goes down hard, slamming onto the unforgiving floor.

_There is no pain,_ Rey thinks, _there is grace._

She gets to her feet, and goes on the offensive, until she is a blur of gray, white, and blue.

Leaving Form II, Makashi, for Form IV, Ataru.

Just as Ben had taught her how to do. All those hours on the island, where he corrected her stance, gently adjusted her grip, moved slowly so she could copy his movements, pointed out something in a text for her to read. He had always been preparing her for this.

For her to fight her own battles.

_Ben,_ she calls, but it is all she can do to focus on this fight. She has no space left to search for him in the Force, for wherever he is on Snoke’s dreadnought.

Rey manages to force her opponent to lose one of his stakes, but he catches her right arm in his, crooking it back. Rey gasps, pushing, but the blade is coming closer, and--

She drops to the floor.

The guard staggers with the sudden space, and Rey slices his knee open with her lightsaber. She jumps back up, and in another rapid spin, cuts his head off.

He falls backward.

Rey pants, satisfied and pleased, and then turns around.

Bail is on one knee, hands frantically grasping at the spear he’s being choked with.

_“Bail!”_ Rey yells, and he glances at her. She switches her lightsaber off, throwing it to him, and Bail catches it in one hand.

There is a simple click, and a flash of blue light. A smoking hole cuts through the guard’s helmet. Bail steps out from the guard’s spear, causing his body to fall to the ground with a thud. He tosses the spear aside carelessly, staring at Rey.

“The fleet,” Rey says, already moving, pointing out the window desperately, at the transports that are still taking heavy fire. “There’s still time to save the fleet! Order them to stop firing.”

But Bail is no longer looking at her.

He’s walking, slowly, to stand before the corpse of his former Master.

To stand before the empty throne.

“I know you’re in shock, but we have to move quickly,” Rey says, walking towards him. “People are dying every moment, we have no time to lose.”

He still doesn’t look at her.

He’s breathing, hard, and looking only at the throne.

Rey slows. “Bail?”

Sparks and ash rain down around them, fluttering silently to the ground. The imagery reminds Rey of Ilum, though their colors are completely opposite, and everything here is hot and not cold snow and ice.

“It’s time to let old things die,” Bail says. “Snoke. Skywalker.”

He’s turned, and is walking to her, and Rey stands frozen.

“The Sith,” he continues. “The Jedi. The Rebels. Let it all die… Rey. I want you to join me. If you join me, then Ben will too, and together, we can bring a new Order to the galaxy.”

He holds his hand out to her, as he had in her hut on Ahch-To.

Rey has experienced a lot today.

Grief. Sorrow. Anger. Pain. Relief. Victory. Rage. Fear.

Love. Loss. Regret.

Ben had warned her, repeatedly, that Force visions do not always come to pass. That he had experienced some that hadn’t. That he had seen himself as Kylo Ren. But of course he couldn’t become Kylo Ren; it was Ben. It wasn’t in his nature. That vision had no hope of becoming realized. 

One thing had come true of that vision, though: Someone _did_ become Kylo Ren.

It just wasn’t Ben; but it was the closest thing.

“Don’t do this, Bail,” Rey whispers. _Don’t prove me wrong._

“No, no,” Bail says, shaking his head furiously. “You’re still holding on! _Let go!”_

“What, like you’ve let go?” Rey asks, and she takes a step forward, aware that she is actually moving closer, and Bail does not back away. _“You’re_ the one clinging to the past, Bail! Here, in this opportunist’s throne room. Here, with an army based off a dead Empire. Here, having killed your own Master, which is a _very_ Sith thing to do!”

She’d read about it, a brief anecdote in one of the texts. The more recent Sith operated in units of two, where the apprentice would kill the Master, and take on a new one, becoming Master in the absence of one.

“Snoke was right about you, Rey,” Bail says, and his voice is suddenly soft and gentle, and Rey’s neck jerks with the emotional whiplash. “You’re just a variable in this story. The real focus is on me and Ben. We’re the ones who will end it. You… You come from nothing. You’re nothing. You’re no one.” 

Rey sniffles, becoming aware that there are salty tears on her face, mingling with her sweat.

Bail swallows. “But not to Ben. And by extension; me.”

He holds a hand out, and Rey looks at it.

“Join me,” he says.

* * *

_“I don’t know when he made his choice,” Ben says. “I don’t know what happened to cause it. I woke up one night to the smell of smoke, and blood in puddles on the ground. I saw my brother strike down an apprentice. I watched my brother choose The Voice, choose Snoke, over me.”_

Rey looks at his hand.

_“I saw darkness,” Luke says, his voice so soft Rey has to strain to hear him over the storm. “I’d sensed it building in him; I’d see it in moments during his training. But then I looked inside… and it was beyond what I ever imagined. Snoke had already turned his heart. He would bring destruction, pain, and death… and the end of everything I loved.”_

Rey looks at his hand.

_“I think it all comes down to choice,” Ben says. “I think Bail made a different one than me. But until today, until Luke said those things to me about how I control my emotions, how my internalization might be something that makes me great… I didn’t really understand it. That The Voice was wrong; I don’t have to be Dark to be the best.”_

Rey looks at his hand.

_“Hansa set the fire,” Bail whispers. “But I woke him, and Vesper, Lior, and Saffron. I told them it was time. The Dark had called to them as well, though not in the same way Snoke whispered to me. Snoke sought me out specifically. Snoke knew then, as he knows now, that I am the true heir. I am the one with all the power. I felt it keenly then, as we walked through the burning Temple, as the rain fell. I felt it roar around me as I fought my classmates. I struck them down, and the Force wrapped around me. And I knew; this was always inevitable.”_

Rey looks at his hand.

* * *

“You were always going to make this choice,” she whispers. “It was never inevitable; but you made it be so.”

Maybe he hadn’t fully settled on it, that night the Temple burned. Maybe he was still unsure, when he woke with Luke standing over him, green lightsaber ablaze. Maybe he hesitated a little, when Ben refused to follow him.

But it is clear to Rey, so painfully, hysterically clear: Bail Organa-Solo was always going to end up here.

Here, in a room of red and black and blood and ash. Here, at the head of an army that annihilated an entire system. Here, over the body of his Master. Here, having murdered his father and tortured his brother.

She doesn’t know when his choice was made. Ben doesn’t know, either. Maybe the choice was made when he killed Snoke. Maybe the choice was made when he saw the empty throne.

And Rey is not sure it really matters.

“You were wrong about Ben,” Rey murmurs.

Bail is frowning now, head cocked to the side. “How so?”

“He didn’t leave you,” Rey says. “Because Ben has never changed. He is as he always was. Kind, careful, patient, and good. He’s so _good,_ Bail. Better than you. And me.”

Bail’s face doesn’t change.

“So, that night,” Rey continues, “When you burned the Temple down and killed your classmates. _That_ was when you left him. That was when Bail Organa-Solo left the Light. And in leaving the Light, you left Ben as surely as you did when you walked away from that Temple. Because Ben… Ben would not be _Ben_ if he wasn’t so fully Light and good.”

Rey’s tears are falling harder now.

_“I thought, that could have been me,” Ben says. “I wondered… Why wasn’t it me? I feel rage, and pain, and viciousness. I can fight with violence and lethality. I am not afraid to dip into passion when I want to win. I could make a great Sith if I wanted to.”_

_But it never could be you, Ben,_ Rey thinks.

The palm reader on Zakuul might have thought it could be true, but Rey knows, as sure as she knows anything, that there is no universe in which Ben Organa-Solo becomes Kylo Ren.

But they are in the one where there was no way to prevent Bail Organa-Solo from becoming Kylo Ren.

_“The Dark Side will prey on what you desire most, and what you feel conflicted over,” Luke murmurs. “It will give you the answers it thinks will make you most malleable. And then it will watch as you destroy yourself and everything you love.”_

_You were trying to warn me,_ Rey realizes. _And you didn’t create Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren created Kylo Ren._

Luke and Ben had both been courted by the Dark, and refused it. So when Rey was also challenged by the Dark, they begged her to refuse it. Ben, with his repeated reminders of knowing the future was not set but was malleable due to choice; and Luke, with his haunted eyes, his failure, and his regret.

_Hypocrisy and hubris,_ Rey thinks, charges she has leveled at Luke and feels acutely in herself now, too.

Rey of Nowhere, Luke Skywalker, and Bail Organa-Solo: Three Force-users bouncing their worst qualities and traits off each other. Playing to the other’s faults and weaknesses, because they are all the same.

And in the middle of them: Ben Organa-Solo.

True and righteous and cautious and forgiving.

“Ben was supposed to be here,” Bail snaps, and she blinks, and looks back up at him. “You were supposed to bring him with you. He was supposed to see me kill Snoke, and he was supposed to… He was going to _stay.”_

Rey shakes her head, sympathy twisting in her. “Bail. He wouldn’t. You must know that.”

“Maybe not for me,” Bail says, and Rey’s heart aches, because how clear and awful it is that Ben and Bail have only ever reached for the other and thought they’d be considered not enough. “But for you, he would. If you join me, Rey, Ben will come, too. He loves you.”

Rey smiles, hiccuping a sob.

“He does,” she whispers. “But he does not love me as much as he loves the Light. He would not fall into the Dark for me; he would not fall for anyone. Because if it _was_ going to be anyone… It would be you.”

_“We were strong enough to handle our own issues on our own. We only needed each other.” Ben shrugs. “I am my brother’s keeper.”_

“You are your brother’s keeper,” Rey says, and something in Bail’s eyes turns cold. “He loved you first. But when it comes down to it… You are more your own than your brother’s. You’re your own best thing, Bail. And I…” Rey steadies herself. “I’m nothing. It’s true. But I am my _own_ nothing. And my own nothing is good enough for me.”

It’s good enough for Ben, too.

But even if it wasn’t, if she wasn’t; she would be enough for herself.

Bail stares at her, and she knows that while she has come to terms with the fact the future has not played out as she’s foreseen, that Bail is still stupefied by it.

She moves quickly.

She raises her hand, but ignores Bail’s, reaching out and calling the Skywalker lightsaber out of his hand. It rises, and moves--

And _freezes._

Bail’s hand is lifted, calling it to him.

The lightsaber trembles between them.

Rey focuses. She turns inward, reaching, grasping, clinging, panting--

With a sudden wave, she slides back on the floor, her feet still planted. Across from her, Bail has been moved as well. The two of them stand there, stretching and telekinetically pulling, and the Skywalker lightsaber is suspended in the air, shaking violently.

Bail’s breaths are coming out as low growling gasps.

Rey’s turn into bloodcurdling snarls.

The lightsaber between them glows.

And then there is a brilliant wave of white light, and both Rey and Bail are knocked off their feet.

* * *

Rey wakes before Bail does.

He’s lying on his side, limbs splayed a little awkwardly, right where he’d fallen. She’s not sure why he’s still passed out and she is not; perhaps he hit his head harder on the floor when he was thrown. She barely avoided that catastrophe, only managing to do so by curling herself up tightly as she hurtled through the air.

Rey clambers to her feet, searching around the destroyed room.

She’s not sure what’s happened exactly, but the room has been _demolished._ More so than anything that could be caused by two Force users repelling each other. She turns on the spot, her eyes landing on the window outside: every First Order ship has been handed a catastrophic blow, each torn and broken. Rey has no idea how it could have happened. She turns back around, to the room at large

And there, broken in two jagged halves: the Skywalker lightsaber.

Rey can’t bite down her sob upon seeing this. She hurries forward, scooping up the two pieces in her hands, cradling them to her chest.

She wonders if they can be fixed. Rey has barely read about lightsaber creation in the Jedi texts; it had always seemed like a distant future problem, one that she’d only need to rectify should another Jedi be trained. Ben himself had been largely dismissive of this possible issue, only briefly commenting on the crystals needed to create a lightsaber. And if Ben wasn’t worried, Rey decided that she didn’t need to be; he worried enough for the both of them.

_Ben._

_Ben,_ Rey breathes, and she reaches out, closing her eyes to focus.

Ash and embers are still falling around her. The room stinks of smoke and burnt flesh. Snoke’s split body still lies on the throne.

And Ben… Ben is nowhere.

_Please don’t be dead,_ Rey calls, more frantic now. _Ben, where are you?_

Silence.

The Force is there, she can feel it as she always can, in her veins, in her bones, in her heart--

_I’m so sorry,_ Rey thinks, squeezing her eyes shut, tears joining the smoke stains on her face. _You were right. I was wrong._

She hadn’t been able to turn Bail; she never could. No one ever could. He’s been lost for so long.

_Please don’t be dead,_ Rey thinks, feeling herself suffocating over her fear that he could be. That he might have followed her to Snoke’s ship after all and met his death here. That she will never again get to see him, to touch him, to hear his laugh, to be near his warmth. That she will not get to apologize to him.

Rey pulls herself together.

There will be time to grieve later, so much time, an endless, horrific amount of time.

For now, she needs to do what Ben would do. She needs to make the hard choice he would make.

She needs to get to the Resistance, and save as many of her fellow rebels and friends as she can.

She needs to save Ben’s mother.

* * *

There is a small shuttle attached to Snoke’s throne room, one Rey supposes is Snoke’s escape shuttle to be used in the most desperate of emergencies. But Rey is quite sure Snoke never really imagined ever needing to use it. The shuttle is sparsely stocked, not much in the way of things like rations or extra tools, but there is an assortment of blasters and even a blanket. Rey tucks the blanket in around her as she pilots the ship out of the dreadnought.

And flies straight into annihilation.

Something has _halved_ the First Order fleet; every single ship in the area has either been sliced to bits or knocked aside by debris. Rey navigates the calamity like it’s an asteroid field, trying to avoid as much shrapnel as she can. Corpses float past the front transparisteel window, faces distorted in shock and fear, and she turns her gaze down, focusing on anything else.

A small fleet of First Order ships are moving rapidly towards the large white and gray planet that has opened up in space. Rey watches their fast speed, and comes to the realization that the planet must be where the Resistance had been going while it was taking heavy fire from the First Order. There is no sign of any other Resistance ships in the area, and she wonders what happened to their flagship, their cruisers, their frigates.

There is nothing.

Only miles and miles of blasted metal and broken ships.

Rey follows the First Order down.

She pushes the shuttle fast, faster than it was likely really designed to go, and she zooms past the bigger First Order ships careening to the unknown planet. She catches up to the TIE squadrons that have breached the atmosphere, sees that they are speeding wildly towards a line of tall, gray mountains stretching above the endless white plateau. There is a massive blast door of some kind built into the rock, and as Rey watches, the door is slowly sliding closed.

She knows she wants to be on the other side of it.

Rey guns the engines, physically leaning forward as if her slight weight might make a difference. She overshoots the TIEs, and immediately realizes that if she’s actually going to make it through the door alive that she needs to slow down.

She shuts the engines off entirely.

Moving in a state of inertia, the shuttle soars, descending slowly, and Rey turns the engines back on and yanks on the brake toggle. The shuttle _shrieks,_ and Rey grits her teeth, watching as the gap between the door and the white earth gets smaller, and smaller--

She does not so much as fly as _skid_ through the opening.

The shuttle crashes onto the ground, which is dirt and brown rock on this side, the door opening into a large cavern of space. Rey is given only a second to breathe and acknowledge she’s survived her incredibly rough landing (thinking fondly of the landing Han and Chewie executed on Ilum that ended with the _Falcon_ narrowly avoiding hurtling off a cliff) before the unmistakable sound of blaster fire starts hitting the steel of the shuttle.

Rey scrambles, ducking under the front window as it cracks with the rapid fire. She covers her head with her hands as glass rains down over her, making herself as small as she can, and she reaches, and--

Something so _soft._

Like satin under her fingertips. Dew drops over morning grass. Early dawn light, promising and hopeful.

Rey can’t believe she never felt _her_ before. But maybe that was just because she hadn’t yet learned how to, properly.

_Leia,_ Rey calls, desperately. _Leia, it’s Rey._

Haltingly, the blaster fire stops. Amid the dripping glass, the creaking metal, the running feet, Rey hears a voice call her name.

She rises slowly, her arms raised over her head, making sure her hands are the first part of her visible over the broken window.

“Please don’t shoot,” she whispers, mostly to herself, and straightens.

The Resistance stands below her. A few dozen soldiers in tan and gray uniforms, holding blasters and other weapons, peering up at Rey with wariness and distrust. Rey’s eyes flick through them all quickly, smiling softly, and her smile grows when she catches familiar faces.

C-3PO, who’d referred to her as “Mistress Rey”.

Poe Dameron, staring up at her in amazement, a wide grin rising to match hers.

Chewbacca, bowcaster at the ready.

And Leia Organa, regal and undeniable, in a long, dark cape, blaster held aloft in her arms. She is the only one who has lowered her weapon, so it is no longer pointed at Rey.

“Rey!” Poe yells.

Rey hurries back into the shuttle, skidding down its broken hallway, sliding out into the dirt. She jumps up, uncaring about the soil stuck to her clothes, and runs to meet Poe’s hug with her own. Chewbacca wraps his arms around them both.

“You’re _here,”_ Poe gushes. “How’d you get here? We thought you’d be with Luke--”

“It’s so good to see you,” Rey murmurs, hugging him tightly. “I saw what was happening with the fleet, I was so worried--”

Poe pulls back.

“You saw?” he repeats, confused.

“Rey.”

Poe lets her go, revealing Leia standing behind him. She holds out a hand, and Rey takes it, clutching it tightly in both of hers.

“Rey,” Leia murmurs. “I am so happy to see you. But where are my brother and my son?”

* * *

There is no time to really talk.

The Resistance jumps into motion, soldiers running around, searching for any weapons, ships, and supplies that can be found. Rey learns, in bits and pieces of sentences, that the planet is Crait and they are in an old Rebel base, one Leia remembered from her days in the Alliance. The base is filled with ancient tech, and Rey is quickly enlisted to help get the computer systems up and running, pulling out wires and shaking the dust and cobwebs off them in an effort to get them back online.

Silver foxes run rampant through the base, clearly torn between fear and confusion at the sight of the Resistance. The creatures are small and seemingly ice-covered, making tiny clinking noises as they move, a quiet soundtrack to the overwhelming chaos.

Rey can’t help but notice there is no sign of Finn or BB-8 anywhere. 

“Shields are up,” calls an older woman with an unusually large nose.

“Good, they can’t hit us in orbit,” Poe says, giving the woman an appreciative nod. “Use whatever power we’ve got left to broadcast a distress signal to the Outer Rim. The closer the better, but now’s not the time to get picky.”

“Use my personal code,” Leia calls. She’s seated herself on a stack of crates, and Rey is jarringly reminded of Luke’s urgent insistence that Leia was gravely ill. Though she appears fine, there is something about Leia on Crait that is different from the Leia Rey knew on D’Qar. Here Leia is slow, almost frail; seemingly taking a backseat to the action, only stepping in when absolutely necessary. 

“If there are any allies to the Resistance,” Leia continues, “It’s now or never.”

Rey watches this information play out over the soldiers’ faces. There are lots of shaky nods, clenched fists, trembling shoulders. This is a tiny army that has experienced significant trauma in a very short amount of time. Each soldier looks to be a breath away from falling apart entirely.

“Kaydel, what’ve we got?” Poe yells, and Rey turns to see a young woman with dark blonde hair that Rey vaguely recognizes from D’Qar enter the room.

“Rotting munitions, rusted artillery, some half-gutted skim speeders,” the woman lists, becoming more and more unimpressed as she speaks.

Poe’s frown deepens. “Well, we’ll have to hope that big-ass door holds.”

Right on time, the entire mountain is shaken by a solid _boom._

Leia looks up, at the quaking ceiling.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” she says, drolly.

* * *

While Poe and almost everyone else in the room race out to get a better look at what kind of tech the First Order has unveiled, Rey walks to Leia. She kneels in front of the older woman, who peers down at her with a face lined with loss and pain.

Rey hates to add to Leia’s grief. But she knows she must.

“I’m so sorry,” Rey whispers.

“Please, tell me,” Leia entreats.

And Rey does.

She tells Leia of Luke’s reaction to her and Ben arriving on Ahch-To, his dismissiveness, his refusal. She tells Leia about Luke finally agreeing to three lessons. She tells Leia of Ben also teaching Rey; teaching her about the Jedi, about the Force, how to read, how to swim, and how to write. She tells Leia of what Luke and Ben told her separately about what happened to Bail. She tells Leia about visiting Zakuul and the palm reader’s take on Force visions. 

She tells Leia about Bail appearing to her. She tells Leia of what Bail said. She tells Leia that Luke confirmed Bail’s version of events. She tells Leia about the Force vision she had.

“I watched him kill Snoke,” Rey whispers. “Clean through with his red sword. I watched Snoke fall. And I watched Bail leave the First Order. We went to Ben, and they… they hugged. They were together again. And you, and Luke…”

She tells Leia of what really happened in the throne room. Of Snoke’s death at Bail’s hands.

Of Bail’s decision to remain with the First Order; to become its new Supreme Leader.

To remain in the Dark Side.

Leia nods during Rey’s story, and Rey sees that Leia is not surprised at Bail’s decision.

“You already knew he wouldn’t turn,” Rey whispers in realization.

Leia offers a sad little shrug of her shoulders. “I have… prepared myself. For this outcome. Ever since Han…”

She trails off.

“I am not surprised to hear my son is gone,” Leia murmurs. “But I am sorry. Of course I am. This is never a fate I would wish for him; nor for me.” Leia looks up. “But, Rey; where is Ben?”

Rey tells Leia about how she sent Ben off to follow the binary beacon, and understanding lightens Leia’s dark eyes.

“Finn has it,” she explains. “He and Rose went to Canto Bight, to find a master codebreaker to get into Snoke’s dreadnought.”

“They made it!” Rey exclaims. “They must’ve found one, because Ben was on the dreadnought!”

“He was?”

“Yes, I felt him,” Rey says. “He was…”

She trails off.

Ben had been there. And then he’d been gone.

“I lost him,” Rey breathes. “He… disappeared. I couldn’t reach him. After the First Order fleet was torn apart, I couldn’t find Ben anymore. Do you… Is he…”

“No,” Leia says, voice so firm Rey stares. “No. I would know if my son was dead. I would _feel_ it. I felt Han’s death from the other side of the galaxy. I know I would feel Ben’s just as keenly.”

Relief races through Rey.

“Thank goodness,” she whispers.

“Hopefully, Finn and Rose are with him,” Leia decides. “Between the three of them, they ought to be able to find a functional ride off the dreadnought. They’re rebels; they’re resourceful.”

“Right,” Rey says.

She looks down, at the dirt floor. She is full of a million things to say, but they all tangle up in her throat. Above all, she is just sorry.

“Rey,” Leia murmurs, and Rey looks back up at her.

“My son told me once,” Leia muses, “That his father would not condemn me for clinging to my hope that Bail could be turned. So I will tell you the same now: Do not feel guilty for choosing to believe in the better parts of people. For most of us, that is an impossible thing, so we can only react to it with fear and denial. Do not blame yourself for being able to rise above the kind of cynicism and doubt that plagues my brother and my son; it is something that makes _you_ truly special.”

Tears slide down Rey’s face, and Leia lifts a hand to brush them away.

Running feet makes both women turn around.

“Rey,” Poe says, panting. “Rey, if you want it; I’ve got a skim speeder with your name on it.”

* * *

Once upon a time, Rey referred to the _Millennium Falcon_ as _the garbage._

Looking at the ancient skim speeders on Crait, she wonders if she can issue the _Falcon_ an apology for her statement. Compared to these speeders, the _Falcon_ is a top-of-the-line marvel. The speeder is small, fitting a pilot and not much else, and incredibly finicky; Rey finds she has to perpetually be jerking her controls to the left to maintain a semblance of a straight path.

The cannons seem to be in working order, however, so she can’t complain too much.

Over the somewhat staticky headset, she hears Poe yelling instructions to the others who stepped up to pilot the ski speeders. What Rey can mostly see is a blur of red; while the white surface of Crait is a layer of crystal salt, the actual soil of the planet is a deep blood red. Stepping on the salt, even jostling it slightly, leaves red marks on the planet like bloodied scars. 

It looks like every soldier of the Resistance is walking in blood.

Rey hopes the imagery does not prove to be prophetic.

Ahead of them stands a long line of First Order AT-ATs, a laser cannon, and incoming TIE fighters. But Rey’s eyes skim all these terrifying machines to look at the pale blue sky. Hovering above the scene is a command shuttle, one Rey has seen before, when she watched it fly away from Takodana with an unconscious Ben Organa-Solo inside.

Kylo Ren is here.

She wonders if he can sense her now, below, one of a dozen dilapidated speeders.

She wonders if he will make her a priority target.

The TIE fighters are unleashed, and the battle begins.

The tight formation the Resistance had led is immediately scuttled, as it is all any of them can do to avoid the rapid and sudden fire. Rey hears screams and cries in her ears as her fellow rebels are shot down, their speeders hitting the salt and soil in a splash of blinding color. Little fires start on the tundra, a welcome bit of orange in the two-chrome world.

Rey executes a complicated zig-zag pattern, even as she hears the TIE fighters over her, even as she knows she cannot outrun them like this.

_Help me,_ Rey thinks, wildly, reaching desperately for the Force, for Luke Skywalker, for--

_Ben._

A familiar shadow flies over the white tundra, and three TIE fighters go down in a burst of rapid orange-red blaster fire.

_“Yeah!”_ Poe yells in Rey’s ear, and she can’t help but give an exhilarated laugh.

The warmth in the _Millennium Falcon_ is undeniable. There could be no other pilot.

No one else in the galaxy has that warmth.

And no one else in the galaxy can pilot the _Millennium Falcon_ with the same speed, dexterity, and skill, as the son of Han Solo.

* * *

Ben (and hopefully Finn and Rose with him) is quick to draw the TIE fighters away from the main battle. They choose to follow the _Falcon,_ the Corellian freighter disappearing over the gray mountains with a whole squadron on its tail. But there is no time to celebrate; the cannon still stands ahead.

And there are only four of them left.

And Rey knows they will not make it.

“They’re picking us off,” Poe breathes, static heightening the pain in his voice. He gathers himself together, shouting, “Pull up! The cannon is charged, it’s a suicide run! All craft, pull away! Retreat!”

Though it goes against Rey’s every driving urge, she turns her speeder, and follows Poe’s back to the massive metal door. Deep grooves of blaster fire litter the tundra, the white salt obliterated to a distressing red. The trenches of soldiers also show signs of having been attacked ruthlessly; aside from the smoke and ash, there are bodies lying on the ground, and Rey’s heart clenches at the sight.

She powers her speeder down, and it spins ahead as the cannon behind them reaches its full power. Rey makes a flying jump, landing on her side, and skidding the rest of the way to the trench. Poe is already there, his dark hair fluffed up in the wind, salt sprinkled in it, and he pushes her towards the hole leading into the base while he waits for their other pilots, ensuring he is the last one to come inside.

It is a brave, smart, _guiding_ thing to do.

Even in the calamity, Rey can’t help but smile.

What a thing it is, still, for Rey of Nowhere, to see people looking out for others.

* * *

Most of the Resistance is gathered in the main part of the base, staring in horror and terror at the red hot hole opening up in the solid steel door. It is an awful, devastating sight, one Rey can only spare a glance. She hurries back to the command room.

“Leia,” Rey calls, “Leia, Ben is here--”

“I know,” Leia confirms, but there is no comfort or relief on her face. She has her gaze locked on a single computer, showing a solid line of green data.

“Our distress signal’s been received at multiple points, but no response,” Kaydel murmurs.

The woman with curly gray hair leans over her. “They’ve heard us… But no one’s coming.”

Ice, as sure and sharp as the cold fissures Rey has felt from Kylo Ren, stabs Rey’s heart. She closes her eyes.

To think that they are here, the last of the Resistance, the one faction left to stand against the First Order; to know all this and to comprehend that the galaxy is not willing to save them. It is so much. Leia may have told Rey always hoping for the good in others was not unforgivable, but with this evidence, Rey is really starting to think it is. Nothing good can come from reaching for goodness if it is not answered. All she feels is a debilitating sorrow.

Even though Ben is nearby, Rey does not think he can get to them. Not when the First Order has the only entrance locked down tight; not when Ben already has his hands full trying to outrun an entire squadron of TIE fighters with just his one ship. No; not even Ben can help them now.

“Well,” Leia murmurs, clutching her cane in her hands. “We fought until the end. But the galaxy has lost all its hope. The spark… is out.”

It is an awful speech.

Made worse by the fact that Leia _believes_ it.

Rey glances around the room, and sees the despair mirrored on the soldiers’ faces, and knows it is one thing for them to lose hope. It is something else entirely to see Leia Organa lose hope. Leia Organa: princess of an annihilated system. Rebel Alliance icon. New Republic champion. Resistance general. This is one person you never want to see defeated; never want to imagine defeated.

_Please,_ Rey thinks, closing her eyes tightly, praying as she did earlier on the blood-marked tundra. _Help us._

She doesn’t sense him, which is why she’s taken by surprise. A few gasps fill the room, and Rey’s eyes snap open.

And there, in the command room, in this mountain, on middle-of-nowhere Crait, stands Luke Skywalker.

He’s dressed in dark robes, darker robes than any she’s seen him wearing on Ahch-To. And his hair has been cut, his beard trimmed neatly. In some ways, he looks years younger than he had just hours earlier when she last saw him.

He crosses the room to his sister’s side. 

Rey stares at Luke, and wonders how he can be here, and she can’t feel him. Force Concealment? Is he worried Kylo Ren can feel him from here, and the wrath that might release in him?

The twins are speaking.

“Leia, I’m sorry,” Luke says, and Leia shakes her head.

“I know,” she whispers, her voice a rasp of shaking emotion. “I know you are.”

Rey can’t help but think of how Luke spoke of Leia agreeing to let him train Bail and Ben.

_“Leia,” Luke whispers, “Trusted me with her boys. Her sons. The weight of that choice, that trust… Even now, I can hardly believe it. Perhaps even more so, now, because of what happened.”_

“I’m just glad you’re here, at the end,” Leia continues, looking warmly at her twin. 

Luke leans forward a little. “I came to face him, Leia.”

Tears slide down Rey’s face. Leia, somehow, does not cry.

“I know,” Leia says. “I held out hope for so long… But I know my son is gone.”

But then Luke does something strange.

Rather than confirm this statement of Leia’s, as Rey expects him to; he only looks at her, with something kind, something imploring: “No one’s ever really gone.”

He takes Leia’s hand, and places something in it, wrapping her fingers around the item.

Rey can’t see what it is from her position, but she watches the way Leia’s face freezes when she opens her palm to see it.

She looks back up at Luke in rapt understanding.

But Luke is already on his feet. With the brilliant sun framing him in the window, he bends, and plants an achingly tender kiss on Leia’s forehead.

Luke straightens, and turns, smiling up at Chewbacca, who is staring down at him in stoic silence.

“I know,” Luke says.

_“You’d better not leave her again,”_ Chewbacca says, his eyes gesturing to Leia. Luke gives him a soft sort of nod.

He catches sight of Rey, hovering in the doorway.

“Rey,” Luke says. “Walk with me.”

* * *

She follows him out of the room, voices murmuring in their wake.

“Master Skywalker,” Rey gasps, “Master, I am so sorry.”

“When you first left on Ahch-To,” Luke says, “I thought I wanted to hear that. I wanted an apology. But then I meditated on it, and I spoke to an old friend, and I realized, so clearly: You don’t owe me anything, Rey.”

“How can you say that?” Rey asks. “Master, I _attacked_ you. I disobeyed you, I said… I said--”

“Nothing that wasn’t the truth.”

Luke has stopped, and Rey stops to face him. They’ve reached the bottom of the stairs leading to the command room. Ahead of them is the main, open cavern. Natural light is filtering in through the recently created hole in the massive door.

“The legacy of the Jedi,” Luke says, “is one of hypocrisy, hubris, and failure. But it is only the legacy of the Jedi because I made it be so. Because I embody those three things. And you, Rey… You are the first person to call me out on it. You challenged my claims. You asked me difficult questions. You were never willing to take my answer as fact. Nor any of Ben’s, for that matter. Sure, you listened, and I like to think you mostly agreed; but if you didn’t, you let us know it. And I am so grateful for that. For you.”

“I don’t understand,” Rey whispers.

“I have spent the past six years drowning myself in my own misery,” Luke says. “I forgot what an incredible treat it is to experience the Force as it should be experienced. Not as an inheritance I am given, but something I am allowed to feel. To have you with me, to see your… your determination, your power, your anger. It surprised me. And it frightened me. I thought, surely; the Dark Side would tempt you.”

Rey nods. “It did, Master.”

“I know. Because it tempts us all. I told you before, Rey, that you remind me of Bail. And so I assumed that you would also fall to the Dark. And then I’d have two _very_ powerful Force-users, trained at my hands, running around in the galaxy. So I resolved not to train you at all.” Luke offers her a sad smile. “All the while forgetting that there has always been someone else who reminds me of Bail.”

“Who?”

“Me.”

Luke’s smile widens at Rey’s astonishment.

“You remind me of the best parts of me,” Luke says. “When I look at you, I think… I think of everything I used to be, when I was young, and so sure, and so hungry. You are like the version of me I might have been, if I were not… not touched so unforgivingly by legacy. But that is not the real difference between us. The true difference between us lies in how I was visited by the Dark Side, and nearly undone by it… And you touched the Dark Side, and chose to walk away from it. You didn’t even hesitate.”

Rey thinks of the mirror cave, and of Bail’s hand stretched to her.

She thinks of choice, and how one single choice can separate two futures.

“Yes,” she says to Luke now. “I made that choice.”

“A good one,” Luke says. “A strong one.” He smiles. “One a _Jedi_ would make.”

Rey’s heart soars, but there is something she is still bothered by.

“I’m sorry I was so… mean to you,” she says. “You were trying to warn me all this time, with your lessons, and your teachings--”

Luke _snorts._

Rey cuts off, and stares at him.

“Rey,” Luke says, deeply amused. “Oh, Rey, I was never really _teaching_ you.”

“What? No, you gave me lessons--”

“I gave you two _lectures,_ maybe,” Luke insists. “But you were never my apprentice.”

Rey’s heart plummets, and she stares at the ground. Shame and rejection swell in her, feelings turned raw and ragged by Luke’s words, and--

“You were always _Ben’s_ apprentice.”

Her head snaps back up. Luke smiles.

“Do you remember what I said to Ben, that first day?” Luke asks. “When I told him that everything he’d said to me was wrong?”

Rey thinks about it.

_“Because I’m not a Jedi Master,” Ben says, slowly. “I’m not a galactic hero, or the head of a religious dynasty. I’m just a Knight. And Rey deserves to learn from the very best, and that’s you.”_

_Luke studies him._

_“Amazing,” he says. “How completely wrong you are.”_

“Ben is the very best,” Luke says now. “He is the best of the Skywalkers, and he is the best of the Jedi. He always has been, but the events on Ilum confirmed it for me. A man who gave himself up to certain torture and death in an effort to buy the Resistance a little more time to save the so-called Last Jedi. A man who lives with the loss of the person he has loved the most, his twin, and returns to confront him as he has become, a Dark Sider with his brother’s face. A man who goes out of his way to study and think and meditate and learn, to continue to grow and evolve. A man who feels deeply, who channels his emotion into strength for a fight, and wisdom for the life after the fight. So many things I forgot to be.” Luke shrugs a little. “Ben Organa-Solo is a Jedi Master. A very good one.”

Rey stares. “Why didn’t you tell him all this? He would be so happy to hear it--”

“I was waiting for him to reach that conclusion on his own,” Luke says. “Forgetting, it seems, how so much of Ben’s personality is tied back in his own anxiety and hesitation. And that’s where you come in, Rey. He needs someone who will always challenge him, who will push him, who will force him to make changes and consider a new perspective. He needs someone who is not afraid to follow her gut. He needs someone who is not _afraid.”_

“I need him, too,” Rey murmurs.

_“Definitely._ You definitely do.”

She can’t help but laugh. Luke smiles.

“Kenobi and Skywalker were galactic legends,” Luke muses. “Celebrities in their own right. A formidable duo. I cannot even imagine what kind of things the galaxy will say about you and Ben. Think about it. Ben Organa-Solo, the Jedi who cannot be corrupted or broken. And Rey of Nowhere, the Jedi who always searches for the good in others. Oh, the great _stories_ they will tell of you two…”

“But I was wrong, Master,” Rey insists. “Bail didn’t turn, he isn’t--”

“But you _tried,_ Rey,” Luke interrupts. “You tried. I think that is all that can be said for any of us: We tried. And you came back from it, better for it. You took the failure that stains the Jedi legacy and you met it head-on. And still, you are here, and you fight another day. Nothing I nor my Masters ever deigned to do.”

Luke reaches forward, and Rey takes his hand.

She stills when she does so. She does not feel warm skin, or muscle, or a pulse. She feels only something like air, if air still held a shape.

She stares at Luke.

“I know you might not believe it anymore,” Luke says, “But I want you to consider that there is still meaning in it, if only that death is not the true end, and maybe life is not always full of final goodbyes, either. Rey. This is the third lesson: No one’s ever really gone.”

And she knows.

Luke is not really here.

But he is not gone, either.

And he never will be.

“Thank you,” Rey whispers.

“Thank _you,_ Rey. Thanks for putting up with me. And hey; tell that nephew of mine all the nice things I said about him, yeah?”

Rey laughs, but it is watery, the tears in her eyes starting to make her image blurry. “I will.”

“May the Force be with you, Rey of Nowhere.”

“May the Force be with you, Master Skywalker.”

Luke drops her hand.

She watches him walk away.

He walks past the Resistance rebels, who all straighten, and stare, at the Master Jedi who walks in their midst. The wide eyes and slack jaws of a generation who grew up on myths and tales of the hero who saved the galaxy. The hope that sustained the rebellion. The boy who resurrected a religious dynasty from scratch. The man who lifted rocks and healed others. The son who refused to let his father go. The brother who returned in his sister’s most desperate hour, to fulfill the plea she once made of another Jedi.

Luke Skywalker steps out of the base.

And walks into his final legend.

* * *

With a dozen Resistance fighters behind them, Rey and Poe watch as Luke Skywalker stands before Kylo Ren.

Rey is more comfortable to call him by that name than Bail. Though she knows now that Kylo and Bail are one and the same, there is a savagery to Kylo’s face here that is a far cry from the vulnerable man who had looked at her in the elevator on Snoke’s dreadnought. It is easier to think of him as Kylo Ren, standing on a battlefield already drenched in red, eager to shed more blood.

“He’s doing this for a reason,” Poe mutters, and Rey glances at him. Poe’s eyes are flickering quickly between Luke and Kylo. “He’s… He’s stalling.”

“So we can escape,” Rey confirms.

It is the kind of sacrificial, heroic thing a Jedi would do.

“Don’t we have to help him?” shouts a rebel from behind them, and Poe and Rey turn around.

“No,” Poe says, firm. “We are… We are the spark, that will light the fire, that will burn the First Order down. Skywalker’s doing this so we can survive.”

He moves forward, looking around frantically. “Look, there’s gotta be another way out of this mine. Hell, how did he get in here?”

Rey looks at Leia, who meets her gaze. They both know that Luke didn’t really _get in_ the mine. He simply appeared in it. The path of an apparition will not help them now.

“Sssh, ssh, _shut up,”_ Poe hisses, waving a hand furiously at C-3PO to stop the droid mid long-winded explanation. “Listen.”

They stand in silence. The hole in the door has caused a soft whistling noise to echo through the cavern, as wind from the tundra outside races into the space. Rey looks around, scanning the tired, wary faces, and then realizes what’s missing.

“The foxes,” she says, but Poe is already nodding.

In the quiet, they hear a familiar tinkle of glass.

A silver fox stands at the back of the space, in front of a dark tunnel. As they watch, it leaps lightly into the dark.

“Follow me,” Poe calls. He’s already taken a few steps before he, and Leia, realize that everyone else has turned back to look at Leia.

She gives them all her best bemused look. “What are you looking at me for? Follow _him.”_

She and Poe exchange something approving.

It has been a long, traumatic, journey for the Resistance.

And a much longer journey to get here for Poe Dameron.

He leads them into the mine.

* * *

Rey walks closely to Leia, offering her arm and support as the older woman traverses the rocky path. Chewbacca walks with them.

“Ugh, I’m getting old,” Leia grunts.

“Nonsense, General,” Rey replies, earning her a snort of laughter.

“No, no, no, _no!”_

Rey and Leia immediately look up. Rey anticipates a First Order battalion, a solid wall of quadanium steel, a mirror. Instead, she only sees a wall of gray rocks, stacked and piled, someone’s very poor attempt at closing off this passage permanently.

_Lifting rocks,_ Rey thinks.

She thinks of how she accidentally caused a fissure in the mountain on Ahch-To, caused small pebbles to cut her hands. She thinks of how she patched together her hut using the Force and the rubble left by her blaster shot. She thinks of how Ben carried R2-D2 up the mountain with seemingly no effort.

Rey walks forward.

The Resistance parts for her.

She stands in front of the wall of rock, and stretches her arms out, lifting her hands, splaying her fingers.

She breathes, closes her eyes, and reaches.

_Rise._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love thinking about what is inevitable, what has always been inevitable, and what can be changed. This series makes the argument that it was always inevitable that Bail would become Kylo Ren; and it was made inevitable by Bail's own choice.
> 
> The only thing Bail wanted from Rey is Ben. He believed, erroneously, that if Rey turned and went to him, that Ben would follow. He failed to understand what Rey has come to understand about Ben: He was never going to turn to the Dark Side. He wouldn't do it for her, or Bail; because if it was going to be anyone, it would have been Bail.
> 
> Bail and Ben are each other's mirrors, making every opposite choice. But Rey is also a kind of mirror for Bail and Luke: She represents every choice they didn't have the courage to make.
> 
> I am crowd-sourcing hero titles for Ben and Rey, a la Anakin "The Hero With No Fear" Skywalker and Obi-Wan "The Negotiator" Kenobi. If you have ideas, hit me up!
> 
> The rest of this story will deal with the fallout of the death of Snoke and Battle of Crait, and set the stage for the final story in this series.


	9. Safe Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You are the last of the Jedi, then?”

_“There!_ Do you see them? Over there--”

“Rose, he’s _piloting,_ I’m sure he sees them, they’re the only moving things here--”

“No, I mean the TIE’s coming in from the north--”

“... Oh. I didn’t actually see that. Good point--”

“Guys,” Ben says, gently, and both Finn and Rose fall silent. He thinks they’re both just terribly nervous, their anxiety manifesting in nonstop chatter. Ben is a naturally quiet person, and is pretty sure he’s never pointlessly rambled in his life. But the sight of a First Order battalion, multiple AT-AT Walkers, and an unknown but gargantuan piece of tech in the middle of their line; it’s making him wish he had some solid therapeutic techniques to quash his fear.

The _Millennium Falcon_ soars over the planet. It seems to be snow-covered, though the exterior temperature the _Falcon_ is logging is too warm for this much snow.

“Finn, Rose, I’m going to ask you to fire the gunners,” Ben says.

Finn frowns. “One of the gunners got stuck in place on Jakku--”

“Rey fixed it.”

He brightens. _“Really?_ Aw, Rey.”

 _Aw, Rey, indeed,_ Ben thinks.

“Don’t you need a co-pilot?” Rose asks, looking a little worried.

 _He has me!_ BB-8 exclaims.

Ben smiles. “Can’t forget that. I’ll be okay, Rose. I’m more interested in us taking down as many TIE fighters and other First Order transports as we can.”

“Besides,” Finn interjects. “Ben’s a great pilot. He got us out of a skirmish just past Jakku.”

Ben laughs.

“I appreciate the support, Finn,” he says, turning around to smile at the younger man. The _Falcon_ continues its rapid flight over the strange white surface. Little dots of dark color are now visible in front of the First Order fleet, little dots that are taking heavy fire from the First Order. Red sprays up from the ground, and Ben dearly hopes it is not blood. “But you know, Finn; that wasn’t really _flying_ for me. That was like piloting in a spaceport. This…” and he gestures at the battle rapidly getting closer, “This is going to be _flying.”_

“Cause it’s a battle?” Finn asks.

“Because piloting the _Millennium Falcon_ is something I grew up learning how to do,” Ben says.

In some ways, maybe it was what he was born to do.

Han certainly acted like it was.

It’s time to really make him proud.

Rose’s smile is infectious. 

“Kriff,” she breathes. “I’m gonna be firing a gunner while a Solo pilots the _Millennium Falcon._ Oh boy.”

* * *

Ben grins at the sound of Finn and Rose’s identical whoops of joy as they shoot down TIE fighters in solid lines, sending the metal ships tumbling into the white earth, white that is quickly turning red in a way that Ben thinks is not entirely unnatural.

Below, the Resistance seems to be launching a ground offensive involving some kind of skim speeder. Each tiny speeder has an odd little prong attached to it, which when dragged, sends up a spray of brilliant red. The result of this is a battlefield scarred in angry, disjointed red lines. A bit of a heavy-handed metaphor, but an apt one.

Ben flies the _Falcon_ over one of the speeders, and it’s like a spotlight has been shined in his eyes.

_Rey._

Here, on this planet. Right below him. Fighting for the Resistance.

He flies over her, the two of them passing so closely and so briefly, like people in a busy street, hands reaching down to brush their fingertips together. He feels a quick tendril of Rey reaching back, and knows she has felt him here, too. The relief is profound; she’s made it out of Snoke’s dreadnought.

She didn’t stay with Bail.

And speaking of Bail…

His brother is a livewire of cold flame. Ben feels him keenly, a shock to the system, a chemical burn on the palm of his hand. Bail is in his command shuttle, the same one he took Ben on when he kidnapped him from Takodana. Ben cannot see Bail behind the shuttle’s dark windows, but he knows as sure as he knows himself, that his twin stands there. Is probably watching the _Falcon_ soar over the battle.

And because Ben is who he is, he cannot help but reach out.

One more time.

He will always reach out one more time.

_You and me._

_Bail,_ Ben calls, and thinks of his brother as the child he was, as the children they both were. Two boys curled in one bed, knees to knees, forehead to forehead. Two boys sparring with metal rods as lightsabers. Two boys climbing trees in a mossy jungle. Two boys reading side-by-side. Two boys walking and fighting and running and sleeping and thinking and dreaming, in sync.

He recalls the palm reader’s words to him:

_“You are a sun,” she notes, running one long, alarmingly cold finger down the middle of his hand. “Twin to a moon.”_

Ben and Bail Organa-Solo: the sun and the moon. Two that coexist together.

Perhaps Bail Organa-Solo is gone. Perhaps Kylo Ren is all that remains.

But that does not mean that Kylo Ren is not Ben Organa-Solo’s brother.

_I am my brother’s keeper._

And then Ben feels the sudden, aggressive assault of red blaster fire that flies his way, and he pulls back, focusing instead on guiding the _Falcon_ out of the trajectory of this new barrage of attack.

Bail is firing on Ben, aiming to bring the _Falcon_ down. He knows Ben is on this ship, and is going for the kill anyway. He would know Ben was piloting the _Falcon_ even if he could not feel him, because only a son of Han Solo could fly the _Falcon_ as smoothly, brilliantly, and skilfully as Ben is now.

 _Come get me, Bail,_ Ben thinks. 

As children, as apprentices, as Jedi: they were each other’s best challenger. Each other’s closest match. There was no one they wished to impress more than the other. 

Ben grins. _Let’s fucking go, Bail._

He executes a complex spin, bringing the _Falcon_ in a tight, full arc, as Finn shouts behind him and Rose giggles senselessly at the moment of zero gravity.

“How many are on us?” Ben calls.

“I think we’ve got all of them,” Finn shouts back, his voice echoing through the ship itself and through the radio on the wall next to Ben. “We should be--”

Finn’s voice is drowned out by the unexpected appearance of a porg, that pops up from out of nowhere to perch in the co-pilot’s seat and _KEROO, KEROO!_

“Yeah, I see it,” Ben grunts, and shoves the throttle forward, leaping over the top of a silver mountain. The porg is flattened in its seat, other distant _keroos_ ringing around the ship.

Ben glances down, to where BB-8 is sliding around on the floor.

“You’d better go find a place to tie yourself down,” Ben says, and BB-8 wastes no time racing out of the cockpit. A moment later, Ben hears a distant _twang_ noise of steel cables snatching onto the walls.

The _Falcon_ dives into the open blue sky, two dozen TIE fighters screaming on her tail.

* * *

The mountains open up to a seemingly endless plateau of rock covered in more of that snow-like substance. Ben peers over the control panel, frowning down at the rock below. There is not a lot in terms of cover this high up in the air, but they’re going to need _something_ if they want to avoid getting shot down.

Rose and Finn are still firing furiously, outside crashes and smoke pillars alerting Ben that they are having quite a bit of success; their continued yells and cries of delight are only further confirmation.

And ahead, Ben sees it.

A gap in the mountains.

“We’re diving,” Ben calls, the only warning he gives Finn and Rose before the whole world turns blood red.

The gap is a slit, a crevasse between the rock, and the _Falcon_ barely fits, flying at an angle ninety-degrees from her usual flight position. The artificial gravity in the ship is working extra, and Ben flattens his feet on the floor, and calls on the Force itself to keep himself steady. The porg next to him has no such luck; it soars through the air just in front of his face, to get plastered on the window with a dull and somewhat hilarious _thunk._ At least its _keroos_ have ceased.

The interior of the gray rock is revealed to be some kind of red crystal, sparkling and glimmering off the lights of the _Falcon._ Agonizing scrapes can be heard outside.

 _“Ben!”_ Finn and Rose shout in unison.

“I know,” Ben shouts back. He leans forward, pulling up the deflector shield nob, briefly acknowledging the flashing warning light telling him his ship is getting scraped to hell. He pushes the throttle, and when the crevasse finally opens up, he jerks the control yoke, turning them back right-side up. The porg flops inelegantly to the floor.

At that point, it becomes a simple manner of turning the _Falcon_ up and down, to the left and the right, to avoid the spirals of red crystal spiking out of the rock. A TIE fighter behind them is not as adept, and goes hurtling over the top of the _Falcon_ to crash in a blaze of yellow and orange light. Rose and Finn are firing away, calling encouragements to each other.

Ben can hear his father’s voice in his head.

 _Don’t get cocky, kid… Keep one eye ahead, look at what you’re gonna have to handle next… The_ Falcon _is only as fast as her pilot… She won’t fail you if you don’t fail her… Don’t forget, the auxiliary power switch can get sticky, you might have to really shove it to get it to go…_

It does feel a lot, to Ben, like Han is with him. Seated beside him. Acting as co-pilot.

His father is everywhere in this ship. In the wires hanging out of the rafters; the dust collecting in cupboards in the bunk room; the crates of extra ammunition in the storage space; the walls and the floors and the ceilings and every bit of the ship itself. To fly the _Falcon_ now is to fly with Han Solo, his memory and his spirit and his courage and his daring.

 _Dad,_ Ben thinks, because he can’t help it.

Under his shirt, against his chest, he feels the gold die hanging around his throat. An ever-present comfort that is feeling close to prescient now.

But that is what piloting with the Force is like; you are only tapping in to memory itself.

In some ways, Han Solo is still flying the _Millennium Falcon,_ and Ben Organa-Solo is the ghost.

In some ways, Han Solo is the memory and Ben Organa-Solo is the pilot.

In some ways, Han Solo and Ben Organa-Solo are flying in tandem.

In other ways, they are all of those things at once.

Time is a flat circle.

They break through the tunnel and emerge into an open cavern. A dark lake is below, reflecting the crystalline stalactites and stalagmites that dominate the space. The red in this room is hazier, and Ben catches a glimpse of sunlight through a break in the rock to his left, and it is this sun that casts the room in dark shadows.

A TIE fighter smashes into a jut of rock. 

The lake below is oddly calm.

Ben pulls the control yoke to the side, and the _Falcon_ veers on a hairpin turn, and Rose shoots down the TIE fighter that was about to climb on top of them.

Ben directs the _Falcon_ up, the display monitor showing their rising elevation, as the cave becomes smaller again. Finn and Rose stop firing, likely unable to do so now due to the small space and the fact that the TIE fighters cannot fly alongside them anymore.

The porg hops up onto the control panel.

_Keroo, keroo!_

“Sorry, sorry,” Ben hisses, as he has to shove the porg aside to get to the auxiliary power switch. Just as Han warned him, it’s jammed, and Ben has to lean forward to get it to move. The _Falcon_ roars.

The green blaster fire has stopped, and Ben realizes it’s because they’ve simply moved into too small a space for a TIE fighter to fit.

He hears Finn cry out.

_“Ben! Ben, we’re real close--”_

Ben shoves the throttle forward, checks the velocity indicator, scans the elevation level, and then looks up at the thin red covering over them.

They tear through it.

Shards of red crystal split through the air, spilling into the blue sky as the _Falcon_ flies straight up. Ben laughs, parts hysterical and parts ecstatic, and he gently guides the nose of the _Falcon_ downward again, tugging slowly back at the speed brake. There are no TIE fighters in sight.

Finn and Rose come running into the cockpit, BB-8 on their heels.

“That was _amazing,”_ Rose gushes. “I kept thinking we were _toast,_ but then you--”

“--Just _yanked_ us out of there,” Finn continues. “Hell, Ben, I have no idea how--”

“You two were great,” Ben says, warmly, interrupting. “It’s really only thanks to your firing that we got those TIEs to follow us away from the Resistance. You proved we were a threat.”

Finn and Rose exchange a glance.

“No,” Finn says, quietly. “It wasn’t really _us_ that did that. That was all because of you.”

Because Kylo Ren was trying to kill his brother, the man wearing his face.

It is the kind of small, devastating fact that would once have sent Ben spiraling into a deep melancholy.

But now, he leans back leisurely, folding his hands over his stomach, cocking an eyebrow at his friends.

“Do you think he’s upset because he found out I was going around pretending to be him, on his own ship?” Ben asks, and it gets Rose to laugh, and Finn to smile.

“Think the blue lightsaber gave you away, buddy,” Finn says.

“Oh, I think it was the part where he killed those First Order executioners,” Rose says.

There is nothing that funny about this conversation, but it is the combination of their mutual exhaustion, their absurdly long day, the series of near death experiences, the catastrophe of the dreadnought’s destruction, being chased for their lives by the First Order, hurtling through a red crystal cave, and emerging on the other side relatively unscathed. And it is due to these things that cause Ben, Finn, and Rose to laugh, and laugh, and laugh, flying quietly and smoothly over miles of white mountains.

* * *

Eventually, they pull themselves together, and Ben turns them around.

Rose carefully picks the fallen porg off the floor. Ben experiences a short moment of concern before the porg is flying out of Rose’s hands, soaring in small, awkward circles over their heads.

Ben is starting to understand Rey’s consternation over the porgs.

“We’ve gotta be miles away,” Finn says, squinting at the horizon.

The sun has begun to set, sending long shadows over the rock below, and Ben has to rely on the replay of their journey in the display monitor to get them back to the main battlefield.

“That battle has to be over by now,” Rose says.

“Yeah,” Finn murmurs. “And I don’t think the Resistance won.”

“No,” Ben agrees. “Hopefully they retreated… somewhere.”

Rose perks up. “Did you see that giant steel wall? Could they be on the other side?”

“Yeah, what was that?” Finn asks, confused. “I thought it was just part of the mountain at first, but… We haven’t seen any signs of habitation here. How’d that door get here?”

Ben frowns. “Where are we, exactly?”

Rose, in the co-pilot’s chair, leans forward and fiddles over the nav computer.

“Crait,” she says, and Ben smiles.

_Smart move, Mom._

“There’s an old Alliance outpost here,” Ben explains. “It was very rarely used by the Alliance, since it’s so far out here in the Outer Rim. I’m not sure it was ever used during the war, actually.”

It was Bail Organa who established the outpost, as a matter of fact.

How fitting that his daughter and her rebellion find refuge here.

“So the Resistance is hiding in the outpost,” Finn says. “Behind that big door?”

“Must be.”

“Well, we can’t get in through that door,” Rose notes. “Or else the whole First Order would already be there. Is there a backdoor?”

“Maybe we can blast one?” Finn asks, miming blasters with his fingers, eyes gesturing around the _Falcon._

“We still have to figure out where they are, first.”

 _I can try to scan for lifeforms,_ BB-8 says. _Though we might be too far up--_

“Rose, switch with me,” Ben says, and Rose does so, sliding in front of him without question. Ben stands in the middle of the seats, holding onto the roof of the _Falcon_ as he looks out the window.

“Are you doing another Force thing?” Finn asks.

Ben grins. “Kind of. But not hiding us this time.”

“So what _are_ you doing?”

“I’m going to see if I can find the Resistance in the Force,” Ben says. “Give me a minute.”

Rose and Finn fall silent. Ben closes his eyes.

Crait is desolate. He can feel the white powder slithering over its open moors, can feel the drip of stale water in the underground lakes. But he can also feel something sleek and sharp, thrumming heartbeats of creatures running through tunnels. Ben searches, and breathes, and reaches, and--

“A mile and a half west,” he breathes. He hears the soft thrum of the engine as Rose points them in that direction.

 _“Look!”_ Finn cries, and Ben opens his eyes.

A stream of silver foxes are cascading over the rock, running out from a small, narrow valley.

Rose lands the _Falcon,_ and she, Finn, and Ben run outside. BB-8 follows, but is unable to traverse the steep slope.

The three humans slip and slide their way down the white mineral, which Ben quickly realizes is salt, lining absolutely every surface. They cling onto rocks for balance as they go, hurrying downwards, the _Falcon_ rumbling above.

Ben steps into the valley, and faces a wall of rocks. The rocks vary in size, some small, some quite large, all piled relatively neatly, someone’s attempt to block an opening in the mountain.

Rose and Finn look at each other.

 _“Blast a backdoor,”_ they say together, and both of them have turned back to the path they came down, to run to the _Falcon,_ when Ben speaks.

“Wait.”

He studies the wall ahead of him.

He thinks about carrying R2-D2 up the island with only the Force. About Rey lifting the little rocks to fix her hut. Of calling his lightsaber to his hand on Snoke’s ship. Of reaching, endlessly.

Ben stretches his arm out, and closes his eyes.

The rocks make a terrible grating sound as they move, but they move, and that is all Ben really wants.

Of course, this is until he realizes that something else is causing the rocks to move. 

Or, rather, someone else.

Soft light slips through the cracks made by the levitating rocks, and Ben steps forward, advancing on their movement, carving out a space in the mountain. Each individual rock he carries on its own, funneling them away, into the sky, a sky that is blue, and nearly cloudless, and drenched in a setting sun.

And as if he is there with him, Ben suddenly hears Luke’s voice in his head:

_And I will not be the Last Jedi. Not even close._

Ben’s eyes snap open.

Across the plain covered in white crystal salt, below a ridge of sharp rocks, in the mouth of a newly revealed cave, stand a small group of people. Most of them are wearing similarly styled tan and gray clothes, a few are holding blasters, others carrying packs. They all look utterly exhausted and dejected, but their eyes have widened at the sight of the moving rocks, eyes flickering between Ben, and--

And Rey, her own arm extended, the rocks rising around her, standing at the front of the group.

She’s dressed in the same clothes he last saw her in, the light gray and dark gray wraps, and her face has a red bruise blossoming at her temple, a series of cuts running sporadically over her cheeks. But she stands straight and true, and Ben thinks of Rey facing down Kylo Ren and the Knights of Ren on Ilum, and he thinks of her meditating with the Force on Ahch-To, and he thinks of her moving with a lightsaber, and it is all her and she is all here.

Rey of Nowhere, filled with such promise and hope, embodying those two ideals in one moment. Standing before a pack of weary freedom fighters, leading them out of the cold mountain like a living legend. As brilliant and guiding as an anchoring star; relentless, and comforting.

They stare at each other.

In unison, they lower their arms, and the rocks are thrown carelessly to the side. Rey breaks into a run, tears flying freely down her cheeks, and he sees his relief and awe and pain mirrored in her face. She runs to him, and leaps, and he catches her, holding her up, her feet not touching the ground. She clings to his shoulders, his back, and she weeps.

“Ben,” Rey blubbers. _“Ben._ Ben, I’m so sorry.”

“I know, I know,” Ben breathes, and she cries harder, and he holds her more tightly. “But you’re here. You came back.”

_You came back._

Because that was really what was at the heart of Ben’s fear when it came to Rey. His polarizing terror that he will be left alone. Cutoff from the Force, from his uncle, from his parents, from his twin brother, and now, from Rey. He has experienced it all. He has proven he can survive in solitude, if he must. 

He just doesn’t want to.

_“Clinging to a star that you fear will leave you.”_

“I’m never leaving you again,” Rey insists, and Ben smiles into her neck, his tears sliding into her skin. It is the easiest thing to turn his head and kiss her, feeling her kiss him back.

He sets her down carefully, and she manages to take a step away, though he won’t let her go far. He kisses the hand she has pressed to his face gently.

“Good,” he murmurs.

“Good,” Rey agrees.

He watches as Finn steps up behind Rey, tapping her on the shoulder. Rey spins on the spot, breaking into laughter when Finn hugs her. The two of them sway together, and Ben thinks, _Chaos twins, reunited._

He looks over their heads, and sees Leia.

She’s standing, but both her hands are clutching her cane, and it’s obvious she isn’t doing much running around. Her face is pale, skin wan, and her dark eyes are sad, so sad. Ben moves to her.

She accepts his hug, tipping her head up as Ben bends nearly in half to reach her.

“Hi, Mom,” he whispers.

“Hi, sweetheart,” Leia replies, and something in Ben’s chest is released, a pent up anxiety finally thawed. Between the excitement of Canto Bight and the dreadnought, he’d forgotten Luke’s epiphany that Leia was very sick and grievously injured. Though she physically appears to be fine, she’s trembling against him, and her signature in the Force is oddly muted.

But she is here, and she is alive, and for that, Ben can be grateful.

“It’s good to see you,” he says, pulling back to look at her.

“You, too,” Leia says. “And right on time. I’d expect nothing less from my best hope.”

_My best hope._

That’s him; Ben Organa-Solo, named after the man who was once Leia’s only hope.

“Are you okay?” Ben asks. “Luke said you were hurt--”

Leia waves a dismissive hand. “He wasn’t wrong, but I’m better now. I just need to rest.”

“You can do that on the _Falcon,”_ Ben says, glancing around to see Rose leading the group up the rocky hillside. “We should--”

He breaks off, as he’s wrapped up in a tight hug that could only come from a Wookiee. Ben’s feet leave the salty ground.

 _“Little one,”_ Chewbacca roars.

“And again,” Ben huffs, “Not so little, still breakable.”

Chewbacca sets him down, puts his paws on Ben’s face, and asks, _“What did you do to the_ Falcon?”

“What? Nothing! She’s fine--”

_“She’s all scraped up on the starboard side--”_

“Listen, we were hauling ass through a bunch of underground caves, I may have caught some--”

_“And Finn just told me she’s got birds living in her now--”_

“Okay, I’ll take some blame for the birds, but they are really hard to get rid of--”

 _“Boys,”_ Leia calls, raising her voice, and both man and Wookiee quiet. Leia looks deeply amused. “Kriff, it’s like I’ve stepped back in the past. Ben, you sound just like your father, arguing with his first mate like that.”

Ben scowls, until he catches sight of Chewie’s smirk. He rolls his eyes then, and Chewie howls.

_“Look like him, too.”_

“Yeah, yeah,” Ben mutters, while secretly pleased. “Come on, Mom, let’s go up--”

Between Ben and Chewie, they help Leia navigate the steep slope up to the _Falcon._ Finn and Rey are loitering outside, herding their fellow Rebels in, while sharing fast tidbits of information between them, like the events of the past hours are a river and Rey and Finn are the river’s shores.

“--And Canto Bight! Rey, I rode this thing called a _fathier--”_

“--Snoke was so ugly, Finn, I couldn’t even--”

“I _kicked_ Phasma’s ass, Rey, it was stellar, I was so--”

“My skim speeder was probably twice my age, it was so difficult--”

She breaks off, turning to smile at Ben, who’s just crested the hill, Leia and Chewie following. It is a smile Ben has so loved, so longed to see; a smile he was afraid he’d never see again.

And now it is here, _Rey_ is here.

Chewie marches straight into the _Falcon,_ yelling something about birds and insulation as he goes, echoed by Rose’s reply. Finn hesitates on the entry ramp, while Rey stands below, watching as Ben and Leia approach.

“Finn,” Leia calls, warmly. “I can’t wait to be appraised of the adventures my son roped you into.”

“General, to be honest, it was the other way around,” Finn says, and Leia laughs.

“I can imagine,” Leia replies, “But I--”

She breaks off.

At the exact same moment, Leia, Ben, and Rey have all frozen.

Rey looks at Leia and Ben, and Ben looks at Leia, and Leia looks at him.

Realization and sorrow is mirrored on all of their faces.

Luke Skywalker is dead.

“What is that?” Finn asks, frowning, his head tipped north, like he can see something in the distance. But there is nothing there, nothing besides the setting sun and mountains, and Ben feels Finn’s muffled Force presence, and realizes that Finn, even in his odd muted state, can feel Luke’s passing.

The Force is quivering with the loss.

“We’ll explain later,” Rey says, gently, touching Finn’s arm. She’s also understood what Finn is feeling.

“We need to go,” Leia confirms, and she takes Ben’s arm, the two of them walking up the _Falcon’s_ ramp after Finn and Rey.

The _Falcon_ is jam-packed, a dozen or so rebels filling up her space, and Ben guides Leia to the captain’s quarters for a bit of peace and quiet. She perches on the narrow bed, sighing deeply, wincing a little. Ben walks to the comm on the wall, and calls the cockpit.

“Who’s flying?” he asks.

“Hey, Ben,” Poe calls back, and Ben smiles. “I’ve got Chewie, BB-8, and Rose in here with me.”

“Works for me,” Ben says. “Get us out of here.”

“Roger that,” Poe replies. “Where are we headed, exactly?”

Ben turns around, raising an eyebrow at Leia.

_Where, indeed._

Leia sighs.

“Well, it seems like our friends are not keen in aiding us,” Leia says, and Ben frowns, wondering at that, but doesn’t interrupt. “I think it’s time we rely on the only family I’ve got left.”

“You don’t mean--”

“Dameron,” Leia calls, interrupting Ben. “Hop on the Triellus Trade Run. It’s only a few hours flight to Naboo.”

* * *

Though Ben tries to get Leia to tell him of everything that happened, including how she got hurt, she waves him off, insisting she needs to get some rest before they reach her cousins on Naboo. Ben supposes that’s fair, though he isn’t thrilled about it. Still, he closes the door, and walks back to the main part of the ship.

Rey is waiting for him, wringing her hands nervously.

“Luke’s dead,” she whispers.

Ben nods. “Yes.”

“He was on Crait.”

That gets Ben’s attention. “He _was?_ How?”

Rey glances around, looking at all the rebels in the small space, their loud conversations, the relieved laughter and strangled sobs. There is really no bit of privacy with the _Falcon_ this crowded. But Rey takes his hand, and leads him past the hologram board and technical station, past the ladder leading to the top hatch, and into the room that houses one of the two escape pods the _Falcon_ carries.

Except she only carries one, now. This room is empty, the space where the escape pod should be painfully obvious.

Ben looks at this empty space, before turning to Rey. She’s seen his movement, and is staring at him imploringly.

“Ben, I’m so sorry,” she says.

“I know,” Ben repeats, as he had earlier, when she’d apologized on Crait. “I forgive you.”

And he does. Because of course he does. Because he can’t help it. He loves her, and he forgives her: two things that are so painfully true.

But he is upset. Of course he is upset.

He can forgive her, and still be devastated over what happened, what she did.

“It was terrible of me, to lie and to.. To stun you like that--”

“It was a good stun,” Ben says, smiling wryly. “As your teacher, I’m proud of you. But as your, um…”

They’ve never actually talked about it. What they are to each other. On Ahch-To it had felt so natural to be close, to be affectionate, to want and to have. Now, among their friends, all that remains of the Resistance; Ben feels pretty awkward.

Rey’s smile is small and hesitant.

“Boyfriend,” she says, firmly. “Partner, lover. If you still want to be.”

“Of course I do.”

It’s not even a question for him.

She might have left him earlier, might have knocked him out cold with the Force, might have abandoned him to chase after his dangerous and Dark Sider brother, might have broken his heart in the process, but Ben is in love with her. He has been for a while. He suspects he always will be.

He thinks this is the way of the Solos: They fall in love fast, and they stay in love.

It was certainly what happened to Han, with Leia.

Rey’s smile is brilliant.

Ben sits on the floor, and pats the space next to him, and Rey joins him there.

“Please,” Ben says. “Tell me what happened.”

And she does.

She tells him about the first time Bail appeared to her on the island, their mutual confusion over this event, and the times it repeated. She describes Bail’s version of events the night the Temple burned, and Bail’s pain, and Bail’s belief that Ben left first. Ben closes his eyes tightly at this revelation, tears dripping down his face.

 _I did not leave you, Bail,_ he thinks, suddenly furious, angry at his brother for living under such a terrible delusion.

There is nothing to be done about it now.

Ben listens in silence as Rey recounts her encounter with Bail and Snoke. She describes what Snoke said about him, about Rey, about the bridge between Rey and Bail’s minds that Snoke created. 

“He said it couldn’t be you,” Rey says, quietly. “Because you would know, right away, that it was a trick. You would be too careful about it.”

Ben shrugs. “I would have been wary, yes. And it would have been much harder for me to believe that Bail was turning. I’ve spent my whole life experiencing my brother’s feelings through the Force. He can’t hide from me, not when our minds would be bridged like that.” Ben looks at her. “It isn’t your fault that you couldn’t do that. Like Luke said; there is no other connection quite like the one between twins.”

Rey nods.

He hopes she believes him.

Rey tells him she has not connected with Bail since Snoke’s death; the bridge died with Snoke, it seems.

She tells him about the torture Snoke put her through, and Ben squeezes her hand tightly. She tells him about her repeated, and failed, attempts to attack Snoke.

She tells him about staring at Bail and thinking he was about to kill her.

“And then we heard you,” Rey says.

Ben frowns. “What do you mean?”

“I thought… At first I thought it was just me, thinking of you, and pulling the memory that best fit the situation,” Rey says. “I heard your voice, telling me, _There is no pain, there is grace._ But then I looked at Bail, and he… It was obvious he heard it, too.”

“I did try to send that feeling to you,” Ben says, slowly. “And I… I saw you. I was standing above you, and my lightsaber was about to stab you--”

“That’s how Bail stood!” Rey exclaims. “And I… I thought I _saw_ you, in Bail’s eyes, for a moment. Snoke had me on the floor in front of him--”

Ben nods, seeing it exactly in his head. Like he was there. Looking out from Bail’s eyes.

“That twin connection,” Rey comments, and Ben nods, because he can’t think of any other explanation.

Rey tells him that it was Bail who killed Snoke.

Ben can’t help but laugh in sheer relief, tangled up with pride. Tears spill down his face.

The Voice is dead. It will no longer haunt his dreams, his nights, his sleep. It will no longer whisper cruel wishes and desires in his head. It will no longer predict awful futures for him.

It will no longer corrupt Bail.

But that means that what Bail does next is absolutely his own choice.

“He stayed,” Rey confirms. “He wouldn’t go with me. And I realized… I realized he was always going to make that choice. He was always going to remain in the Dark.”

“Yes,” Ben says.

He thinks he’s always known this. Knew it the second he watched Bail walk away from him the night the Temple burned. Knew it the moment Bail dove into his head for Luke’s location. Knew it while Bail drove his lightsaber into their father.

Knew it the very first time he ever felt his brother in the Force.

Ben has spent his whole life staring at a mirror, seeing his face backwards, and watching as his mirror-self, his twin brother, makes every opposite choice.

“We are in the universe where Bail Organa-Solo became Kylo Ren,” Ben murmurs, thoughtfully. “What a dreadful place.”

Ben understands now.

There is another universe, somewhere, and perhaps not too far, where it is Ben who becomes Kylo Ren, and Bail remains in the Light.

Another universe where neither of them turn.

Another universe where Rey turns.

Another universe where there is no Bail, only Ben.

Another universe where there is no Ben, only Bail.

Another universe, another universe, another universe. Endless possibilities.

They have this one, and they must deal with that.

“Thank you for trying, Rey,” Ben murmurs. “I believe my brother deserved one last chance, and I was not strong or compassionate enough to make that attempt. So thank you for offering that to him. I know it cost you.”

Rey picks at her nails. Her hands are still soot-stained. 

“I want to tell you about Luke, now,” she says.

She describes Luke’s appearance as an apparition, and Ben grins.

“Doppelganger,” he says. “It’s a really advanced alter ability. Luke created a short-lived duplicate of himself, nearly impossibly different from his real self. But to do that across so much space… That’s really remarkable.”

And it’s probably what killed him.

Ben does not voice this, but Rey understands it anyway.

“Luke spoke to me,” Rey says.

And she tells him what Luke said.

Ben is flabbergasted. 

“He really said that about me?” he asks, stunned. “He said I was…”

“The best of us,” Rey confirms. “A Jedi Master. And this definitely doesn’t mean as much, but it’s obvious to me that Snoke thought it, too. Snoke was… He was afraid of you, Ben. He knew you were a true threat to his power. And Luke… Luke was so _proud_ of you.”

Tears are sliding down Ben’s face.

That’s all he’s ever wanted.

Luke Skywalker, Grand Master, galactic hero, to be proud of him.

His only uncle, proud of him.

“Knights were expected to train an apprentice to knighthood before receiving the title of Master,” Ben muses. “And Luke understood you are my apprentice. He must think you’ve reached Knight status.”

Rey stares. “He didn’t say that.”

“Hm.”

Ben looks into empty space, thinking, before he is jostled by Rey reaching into her pocket.

“There’s something else…”

And she holds out the two halves of the Skywalker lightsaber.

“Oh,” Ben says, and takes them from her.

The crystal has cracked, been separated into two. The hilt is charred and disjointed, and Ben knows it will be impossible to fix the lightsaber as it was. But perhaps that is for the best.

“I’m sorry,” Rey murmurs.

Ben shrugs. “Don’t be. It is what it is. I sincerely doubt you’re the first Jedi to get their lightsaber destroyed. And honestly, one rite of an apprentice was to build your own lightsaber, so this is quite fitting.”

“But how? Ilum is gone--”

“There are other crystals, and other systems,” Ben says. “We’ll just have to do a bit of research. Get creative. I was going to have to do it soon, anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

Ben smiles. “I think you know.”

And Rey nods. “Finn.”

“If he wants it,” Ben agrees. “He’s getting stronger. Whatever was preventing him from fully feeling the Force is starting to abate. With time and training, he could be a Jedi.”

They fall silent.

The _Falcon_ rumbles on.

Eventually, Ben feels Rey’s head fall onto his shoulder. Her soft snores start up soon after.

Ben tips his head back, resting his cheek on the top of her head, and falls asleep with her.

* * *

“Ben.”

Ben’s eyes snap open. Next to him, Rey stirs.

Rose stands in the doorway. She’s washed her face at some point, her sand-colored skin clean of the blood and ash that had stained it. She’s also removed her First Order officer’s jacket, looking quite put together in just a plain white shirt.

“We’re about to make planetfall,” she says.

“Right,” Ben says. Rey has awoken at this point, and the two of them get to their feet.

“Hi,” Rose says, stepping forward, offering a handshake. Rey takes her hand. “I’m Rose.”

“Rey.”

Rose smiles. “I’ve heard lots about you from Ben and Finn.”

“I can imagine,” Rey replies, glancing at Ben nervously.

“Nothing bad!” Rose hurries to add, and Ben laughs.

The three of them leave the escape pod bay, Rose and Rey talking to each other, Ben walking ahead. The Resistance has gathered in the cargo hold, the biggest room in the _Falcon._ Everyone is there, save for Chewie and Leia.

Poe is currently speaking.

“We’re about to land on Naboo,” Poe says, and murmurs erupt. “The General has family here, and she believes they will offer us shelter for the time being. Once we land, please feel free to contact any family or friends you wish to talk to, though we recommend using a Naboo comm system, just in case.” He glances at Ben as he says this.

The First Order cannot track the _Falcon,_ but it’s still possible they can splice into her communications.

“Should the General’s family agree to take us in, everyone is welcome to stay,” Poe says. “But we fully understand if you wish to go home to your families. Consider this as a time to rest and recover. Once we’ve established our next steps, we’ll contact you. Any questions?”

Ben wanders away, leaving Rose and Rey to listen. He walks to the cockpit.

Chewie is piloting, Leia next to him in the co-pilot’s seat. Ben slides into the seat behind her.

“Did you call ahead?” Ben asks. “Or are we just dropping in to the Naberries’?”

“Too risky to call ahead,” Leia replies.

“When was the last time you spoke to Ryoo or Pooja?”

Leia glances at him. “It’s been a while.”

“And you think they’ll take us in?”

She’s quiet for a moment.

“Varykino is a place for peace and rest for House Naberrie,” Leia murmurs. “My mother often found solace there, on the lake’s shores. I have never before called on my cousins for help, but if they are anything like the rest of the family, I trust they will help me now.” Leia looks at him. “Padmé’s last two descendants deserve to be heard, at the very least.”

The exclusion of Bail hurts something in Ben.

But he doesn’t think Leia is wrong, per se.

Certainly the Naberries will want nothing to do with Kylo Ren. Leia and Ben will have to keep his true identity a secret.

“Besides,” Leia continues. “They haven’t seen you since you were a teenager. I am sure my cousins will be delighted to see you again.”

“Great,” Ben says, though he’s actually looking forward to seeing them, as well.

Family has always been a treat. Luke’s Tatooine relatives died long ago, Padmé died in childbirth, Bail and Breha and the rest of the Organas were annihilated with Alderaan, and Anakin died with the second Death Star. Leia’s cousins, the daughters of Padmé’s sister who died years earlier, are their only remaining blood or adopted relatives.

Leia is not one to flaunt her pedigree as an heir to two noble houses, but she will use it to her advantage if need be.

Ben wonders if he should start thinking about using his, too.

 _“We’re here,”_ Chewbacca says, as they fly over an astonishingly beautiful body of water.

The Lake Country of Naboo is, in Ben’s opinion, one of the most beautiful places in the galaxy. Isolated, filled with the lakes that give it its name, along with waterfalls, meadows, hills, mountains, all magnificent and untouched nature. Several massive estates sprawl in the region, owned by the wealthiest and most noble houses of the planet. The Royal Family’s castle is by far the largest, perched at the top of the tallest mountain, but all the other ancient and remarkable buildings are similarly opulent. 

Chewbacca follows Leia’s directions, flying them to a single island, upon which stands a large manor house, with tan stone walls and blue circular roofs, towers extending above the willow trees that surround it.

“It’s spring, so someone ought to be here,” Leia comments. “If they aren’t, well… Breaking into my family’s estate is not the worst thing I’ve ever done.” Ben snorts, and Chewbacca issues an amused roar.

The _Millennium Falcon_ lands on the stone landing pad at the side of the house. Leia stands, and Ben follows her out of the cockpit, to where the Resistance has gathered in the hallways.

“Please wait here a moment,” Leia says. “Ben and I will speak to the family first, to ensure we have permission to land. We should get a good meal out of this visit, even if we aren’t permitted to spend the night.”

“And if we aren’t?” Poe asks.

Leia gives him a smart look. “Then I’m open to suggestions on where we go next.”

“General Leia,” C-3PO inserts, waving his hand to get her attention. “Perhaps I should join you--”

“Absolutely not,” Leia replies.

Catching the protocol droid’s eye, Ben mouths, _Sorry._

But he knows that Leia is right.

The soldiers begin to speak to one another, exchanging ideas, as Leia hits the button to open the entrance ramp. Ben glances behind him, meeting Rey’s eyes. He gives her a kind of helpless shrug before following his mother out of the _Falcon._

Soft bird calls echo outside, wildly different from the endless _keroos_ of the porgs inside the _Falcon;_ Ben had almost forgotten what a real bird sounds like. A cool breeze blows through the air, ruffling his hair, and Ben thinks he should have taken care to freshen his appearance; he’s sure he looks like he was put through a wringer, though what really happened isn’t too far from that. 

The air is warm and fresh, and Ben walks behind Leia as she marches purposefully to the tall wooden door at the front of the house.

“What should I do?” Ben asks her, urgently.

“Stand there and look pretty,” Leia replies, and Ben scowls. Without needing to look at his face, she adds, “And don’t scowl.”

He sighs.

Leia knocks on the door.

They stand there in tense silence, the _Falcon_ still rumbling behind them, and Ben doesn’t have to turn around to know the Resistance is pressed up against every window in the ship, to try and see what’s happening outside. He realizes he’s fidgeting, and so he stands up straight, and puts his hands behind his back, trying to mimic the way Leia’s posture is suddenly immaculate, her chin lifted.

Looking like she has a right to be here.

She kind of does.

The door opens.

A young woman faces them. Her skin is smooth and tan, sun-kissed, and she’s quite short, close to Leia’s height. Her long brown hair hangs loosely, falling to her waist. She peers at Leia and Ben with brown eyes that are copied, almost exactly, into their faces.

“Amani, is that really you?” Leia asks, and Ben realizes this is Ryoo’s youngest daughter, five or so years younger than him.

“Auntie Leia,” Amani breathes, and she reaches forward, pulling Leia into a tight hug. Leia is not Amani’s aunt, is closer to being something like a first cousin once removed, or something similarly complicated, but the Naberries have long insisted on using more familiar family titles than dealing with sorting out the family tree. To Ben, Pooja and Ryoo were always more like aunts than his mother’s cousins.

“You’ve grown so much,” Leia says, smiling more than Ben has seen her smile all day. “You’re so beautiful.”

“Thank you,” Amani replies. She looks at Ben. “And Cousin… I’m sorry, I still get Bail and Ben mixed up.”

“I’m Ben,” Ben says, bending down to accept her hug. “It’s good to see you, Amani.”

“What are you doing here?” Amani asks, once they’ve broken apart. “Are you here for the Festival of Glad Arrival? Mama did not mention you were coming--”

“We hadn’t decided ourselves until very recently,” Leia admits. “But that isn’t why we’re here, I’m afraid. Is your mother home, Amani? I must speak with her.”

“She is,” Amani says. “As well as Aunt Pooja and her family. The whole family is here, actually.”

Ben looks at Leia.

“That’s for the best,” Leia says. “I should speak to all of them.”

“Has something happened?” Amani asks. Her eyes finally look past Leia and Ben, to see the _Falcon,_ and probably all the people gathered inside it. “Oh.”

Leia’s smile is wry. “Yes. Can we come in?”

* * *

The interior of the manor house is even more grand than the outside.

Beautiful marble floors stretch through the building, walls draped in rich tapestries and priceless art. Little spindly tables balance expensive porcelain vases filled with flowers of all varieties. The furniture is all made of gorgeous dark wood, hand sewn cushions and beads decorating it all in bright spring colors. Fireplaces line the rooms, though due to the warm weather, they are unlit, only imposing. Sunlight spills in through every window, plants and shrubs peeking in from the outside.

The Resistance looks extremely out of place.

Ben sees a few soldiers walking stiffly, likely trying to avoid brushing against something much cleaner than they are. He sees Poe staring around in contemplative awe, Chewbacca standing at his full, daunting height. Finn and Rey hover close together, as they tend to do when faced with an unknown, new environment, and Ben supposes the grandness of the Naberrie manor house is such a place.

“Bea,” Amani calls, and an older woman in a plain dark dress appears. “Please, if you will, prepare a late tea for our guests.”

“Yes, miss.”

Bea disappears down the hall, and Amani turns, gesturing to the left, to the impressive drawing room, filled with comfortable couches, a long thin dining table, and an antique grand piano.

“Please, make yourselves comfortable,” she says to the Resistance at large. “Food and drinks will be served shortly.” To Leia and Ben, she says, “Follow me.”

Ben glances behind him, to see Poe leading the way into the drawing room, the soldiers behind him murmuring to one another. When the last person--Rey, naturally--goes in, Bea and a few other house staff appear, carrying trays filled with teas, sandwiches, cookies, and fruits. As Leia had expected, if all else fails, at least the Resistance will get a good meal out of this stop.

“We were out in the garden when you arrived,” Amani explains, leading Ben and Leia down a seemingly endless hallway. The portraits on the wall feature attractive, yet unsmiling people, and Ben sees multiple pairs of brown eyes identical to his own. “We finished tea a while ago, but you know, the sunsets here are extraordinary to watch. My siblings and I were thinking of taking an evening swim in the lake.”

“Lovely,” Leia demurs.

Amani pushes open two twin doors, and they step out onto a huge stone patio. The patio is framed by an incredibly decorated stone railing, sculpted swirls and patterns done to perfection. Pots full of big red flowers rest on small pillars along the railing, while a few tall willows provide natural shade from the sunset. It is, as Amani said, extraordinary; the light is all pastel orange and red.

Scattered on the patio in lawn chairs are the Naberries.

“Mama, look who’s here,” Amani calls.

A woman, ten or so years Leia’s senior, gets to her feet. Her eyes are wide and shining, and she hurries to Leia’s side, the two women falling into an embrace.

“My dear cousin,” Ryoo says. “How wonderful it is to see you. We feared you were lost with the Hosnian System.”

“Ryoo, you knew I was no longer involved with the New Republic government,” Leia says, gently, but Ben sees the guilt in her face for not alerting the Naberries to her survival. “I left my position as Minister of Defense years ago.”

“Yes, but an Organa never just walks away from politics completely,” Ryoo says. “Nor a Naberrie, for that matter.”

Ryoo’s inclusion of Leia as a Naberrie bodes well for them, Ben thinks.

“And this strapping young man _cannot_ be one of your little boys,” Ryoo declares, turning to look at Ben.

“Hello, Aunt Ryoo,” Ben says, returning her warm hug.

“You’re so big!” she exclaims. “Bigger than Han, and he is no slouch.”

Ben glances at Leia, who suddenly looks stricken. What with everything else they were going to have to explain, the death of Han had somehow slipped both their minds. It feels like it happened long ago, rather than so recently.

“Baris, Iphigenia,” Amani calls, and a young man and woman step to her side. They look much like Amani, though both are a little older. “Surely you remember cousin Ben?”

“Yes, of course,” Baris says, and Ben embraces each of Amani’s siblings.

“Welcome to Varykino,” Iphigenia says.

“Thank you,” Ben replies. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been here, but just as beautiful as I remember.” The Naberries offer him identical, pleased smiles.

“Whatever happened to your hands?” Amani suddenly asks.

Ben looks down. His knuckles are scabbed and bruised, still a bit red, from his fistfight with the guards in Canto Bight.

“Oh,” he says. “Um. I got into a bit of a… skirmish. In Canto Bight.”

“What were you doing in that dreadful town?” Iphigenia asks.

“It’s filled with the worst people in the galaxy,” Baris declares.

Ben smiles.

* * *

After Ryoo’s family is Pooja and hers. Pooja is older than Ryoo, almost fifteen years older than Leia, but she moves with a fluid grace and inherent regality that makes her ageless. She takes Ben’s face in her hands, peering up at him.

“My memories of my Aunt Padmé grow dimmer every year,” she says. “My memories of her wayward Jedi husband even more so. But I recognize him in the shape of your face; yet your eyes could come from no one else but Padmé Naberrie.”

“Thank you,” Ben says, quietly.

Pooja’s husband is a tall, thin man named Algernon. They have two children, a boy and a girl, named Kailash and Aditi, both older than Ben by twelve and ten years.

Once hugs and greetings have been properly exchanged, the Naberries return to their seats. A chair is brought from the house for Leia, while Ben elects to stand behind her rather than sit.

He feels like they are about to have a negotiation.

“While it is lovely to have you here with us,” Pooja says, leading the discussion as the Head of House Naberrie, as its oldest member, “I must say, we did not expect your visit, nor with… so many of your friends. What brings you to Naboo, Leia?”

Leia goes straight to the point: “War.”

The reaction is instantaneous. The Naberries exchange wide-eyed, fearful looks; Ben notices his cousins in particular look horrified. Pooja and Ryoo look at one another.

“You bring war to the Lake Country?” Pooja asks.

“I do not think I bring war here, exactly,” Leia explains. “The Resistance has reached a point of crisis. We were nearly annihilated by the First Order, between fleeing from our base on D’Qar to making a final stand on Crait. I bring what remains of my soldiers to Naboo, to seek refuge while I plan our next move.”

“Has war started, then?” Ryoo asks.

Leia’s smile is wry. “I’m not convinced it ever truly ended.”

“A painful thought.”

“Yes,” Leia agrees. “My cause is the same as my biological mother’s, and my adopted parents’; to see peace and democracy return to the galaxy. Obviously, I could not go to Alderaan, and I refuse to darken New Alderaan’s space with the painful memory my plea would resurface. I do not ask for the assistance of House Naberrie, financial or otherwise. I ask only that my soldiers and I be granted temporary refuge in Varykino to lick our wounds and sort out our next steps. There are only a dozen of them, plus myself and my son; the last of our family.”

The revelation hits the Naberries hard.

“Bail is dead?” Amani asks.

“Yes,” Ben confirms, softly. “Killed by Kylo Ren.”

It is not much of a lie.

“Kylo Ren murdered my husband, as well,” Leia says, hand briefly tightening on her cane. “And my brother perished while giving us time to escape the First Order on Crait. Ben and I are all that remains of the Organas, and the direct descendants of Padmé.”

“Oh, Leia,” Ryoo breathes. “I… Words cannot express our sympathy for your loss. Yours as well, Ben.”

“You have always worn grief so well, Cousin,” Pooja comments, stricken, to Leia. “My hope that you will carry these new losses with as much grace.”

“There is no pain,” Ben murmurs, and everyone looks at him. “There is grace.”

“Well said,” Ryoo declares.

“You are the last of the Jedi, then?” Pooja asks. “I recall that Luke was training you and your brother. And we heard of the massacre the First Order committed against his school.”

Kylo Ren’s reputation as the _Jedi Killer_ precedes him, it seems.

“Not the last, not exactly,” Ben replies. “I have an apprentice who is here as well.”

It is a little strange to refer to Rey as his apprentice; but not inaccurate, as Luke knew so well, before Ben himself did. Of course Rey is his apprentice. He was the one who studied with her, who gave her texts to read, who walked her through meditation, who showed her fighting stances, who answered her questions and gave her direction. It’s almost comical to think now about how sure they both were that Luke was running the show.

“The Jedi have long been friends of the Naboo,” Pooja muses. “During our darkest hour, it was two Jedi Knights who fought alongside Padmé and her court, who took on the Sith monster that darkened the capital city of Theed.”

Ben knows this story.

One of the Knights was Obi-Wan Kenobi.

It seems Obi-Wan’s history as a guardian of Leia extends to the time before she was ever thought of.

Pooja and Ryoo look at each other.

“It would be a dreadful thing to do, to reject the last of the Jedi after all of that,” Pooja says.

“And even crueler to turn down the plea of our beloved cousins,” Ryoo agrees.

As one, the sisters look at Leia and Ben.

“You may stay as long as you like,” Pooja says.

* * *

When Ben, Leia, and Pooja return to the drawing room, it is to find the Resistance eagerly gobbling down food and tea. Chewbacca is gulping down an entire pitcher of water, while Rose and Kaydel chat over a half-eaten loaf of five blossom bread. Finn is tucking in to a Naboo sardine fritter, and Rey is loudly slurping from a bowl of Nyork chowder. Empty plates, cups, and bowls litter the tables, a few soldiers dozing in chairs and on the floor.

Leia clears her throat.

The soldiers look at her.

“We’ve been granted permission to stay,” she says, and the room erupts into relieved cheers.

“It is our honor to host you,” Pooja says, stepping forward, and everyone quiets. “I am Pooja Naberrie, the head of House Naberrie. We have room for you all, though you will likely have to share. The house staff will begin showing you to our guest rooms. Please feel free to visit the kitchen at any time, and plan to attend breakfast tomorrow at nine a.m. on the patio. Make yourselves comfortable, and welcome to Varykino.”

The soldiers slowly filter out, some following Bea further into the house, others going with Chewbacca to the _Falcon_ to collect their things. Poe and Rey approach Pooja, Leia, and Ben.

“Thank you, madam,” Poe says, clasping Pooja’s hand in his.

“Leia, who is this?” Pooja asks.

“My second-in-command,” Leia replies, and Poe is not the only one who is surprised by this; Ben and Rey stare, too. “Commander Poe Dameron.”

“Welcome, Commander,” Pooja says.

“T-Thank you,” Poe stutters.

“Aunt Pooja,” Ben says, extending his hand, and Rey takes it. “This is Rey, the Jedi apprentice I mentioned.”

Pooja smiles at Rey. “How do you do, Madam Jedi?”

Rey blinks at the title. “Uh. Good, thank you. You have a beautiful home.”

“And you’ve only seen a tiny glimpse of it,” Pooja replies. “I daresay Ben and his cousins will be all too keen to introduce you and your fellow rebels to all the house and the lake have to offer.”

“I’d like that very much.”

“But for now, _rest,”_ Pooja implores. “From what my cousins have told me, you’ve all had a very difficult time. We hope you find a little slice of peace and serenity in Varykino. It is the least we can do for the freedom fighters of the galaxy.”

“We will,” Leia says.

“We will,” Ben agrees.

* * *

Through unspoken understanding, Rey follows Ben through the long, immaculately decorated hallways of the house, until they reach the lower floor, and the room at the end of the hall. Ben pauses at the door, and grounds himself, determined to not dwell on the memory of staying in this very room while visiting with the Naberries in this house, waking up to Bail banging on his door, demanding an early morning swim.

Ben opens the door, takes a step inside, and stops, aware Rey has not stepped to follow him in.

He turns around to look at her.

She’s wringing her hands together, eyes flickering from his face to the interior of the room and back.

“I know you… forgive me,” Rey says, quietly. “But I’ll understand if you want your space. From me. I’m sure you’re still upset. And I understand. I can bunk with Finn.”

Ben looks at her.

Holding her gaze, he raises his arm, extending his hand, palm up. 

Rey doesn’t even hesitate.

She takes his hand, and follows him in.

The room is small, only enough space for a bed and a wardrobe, a tiny fresher to the side. A couple of windowed doors dominate the other side of the room, leading out to the lakeshore. 

Ben points out the window.

“Do you see that little island?” he asks.

Rey squints through the light of the setting sun. “Yes. What is it?”

“In the Lake Country, they call it Amidala’s Beach. When my grandmother was a child, she and a few friends would swim out there every day. Everyone in the Lake Country saw her doing that at some point, so the island became known to locals as _her_ island, though I think it’s an unclaimed bit of land, too small to build a house on. It’s still referred to as hers today, even though there are probably none around here still alive who saw her visit it.” 

“Generational memory,” Rey murmurs.

“Exactly.” Ben looks at the island, the clear lake leading to it. “Bail and I used to swim out to it, every time we were here. We initially did it to test ourselves, to try and beat the other there. But as we got older, we… It started to feel important. Like a pilgrimage. I think a tiny part of her might still echo there. If she was going to exist as a memory anywhere here, I think it’d be the island. Varykino was a place she visited and loved, but it’s a place that belongs to the entire Naberrie Family. That island was all hers.”

Rey studies his face. “You never met her, right?”

“No. She died in childbirth. I’ve only seen a few holos of her; my mother never had many. She didn’t actually find out that Padmé Amidala was her mother until well into her adulthood, after she and Luke discovered they were twins. By that time, she’d already met Pooja; they’d worked together in the Imperial Senate, not knowing they were cousins.”

“Really?”

“Really. My grandfather, Bail, was quite close with Padmé; they were both senators in the Old Republic, and had similar politics. While my mother was growing up, he told her that her birth mother had been a dear friend of his, and I think my mother assumed she was also Alderaanian, which was a fair assumption. We don’t know the full specifics, but my mother has guessed that Bail and Breha adopted her since Alderaan was matrilineal, and they had no daughter, and there would be a lot of politics involved in adopting an Alderaanian orphan; things to do with rivalries with other Houses, and such.”

“If you say so,” Rey says, bemused, and Ben smiles. “Your mother looks a lot like the Naberries.”

“She takes after her mother, yeah.”

“And you’ve got their eyes.”

“Definitely.”

“Is it strange to be here without Bail?”

The question kind of comes out of nowhere. But it isn’t an unfair one. It makes sense, with their talk about the Naberries, and Padmé, and Bail Organa, and Ben’s eyes.

There are a lot of ghosts in the Lake Country.

“No more strange than being here with the entire Resistance,” Ben says.

He turns away from the window. Rey gently pulls the curtains closed.

They undress in silence. Rey winces a little as she tugs her gray shirt from her shoulders, revealing a flurry of bruises on her right shoulder blade. Ben pulls his shirt off, glancing into the mirror to take in the mottled mark on his side from a hit he took by a guard in Canto Bight. Between the two of them, they are covered in bruises, shallow cuts, and dried blood. Rey has the deepest cut on her arm, an odd mark that’s shaped almost like an outstretched hand. She runs her fingers over the blemish, frowning at it in the mirror.

“I don’t remember getting this,” she admits.

Ben shrugs, unsurprised. “The heat of a battle is a hell of a thing.”

She pulls him into the fresher with her, and he goes willingly. He watches as she takes his hands, turning them so she can look at his bruised and scabbed knuckles.

“Canto Bight?” she guesses. “Finn told me a bit of what happened while we were having tea, and BB-8 confirmed the rest. Did you really fight four guards on your own?”

“Yeah.”

“I would have liked to have seen that,” Rey says.

“Next time.”

She raises an eyebrow, the water over them darkening her hair, putting it down flat. “There’ll be one?”

“Probably.”

Rey smiles. He watches as she takes one of his hands in hers, moving her other hand over his, palm facing down. She closes her eyes, and takes a breath, and then soft blue light emits from her palm to move over his cracked and broken skin. In moments, the light has faded, and Ben’s skin is clean and unblemished.

She does the same to his other hand.

“There is no pain,” Rey murmurs. “There is grace.”

He kisses her.

* * *

They crawl into bed, lying close together. Rey, Ben has realized, tends to make herself as small as possible in sleep, curling up into a fetal position. He isn’t sure why she does this, wonders if she herself knows. He guesses it has to do with her trying to protect herself, or from years spent sleeping in a cramped space.

Here, in Varykino, she stretches out, her legs and chest and head touching him.

“I do forgive you,” Ben says, quietly. “I meant that. But I am upset.”

She curls tighter into him. “I’m sorry.”

“I know. I’ll get over it. And I appreciate the apology. And I understand why you did what you did.” 

There are a few questions he still has, things he needs answers on, but the thought of dredging them up now, when they’re both exhausted and heavy with grief… He can’t do it.

He shrugs. “It’s just… Today wasn’t my favorite day.”

Rey nods into his chest. “Yeah. Mine neither.”

“I mean, _Luke,_ and everything, and he’s dead, I…”

Ben trails off.

He sighs.

“You know what he said to me, when we were leaving Ahch-To?” Ben asks.

Rey looks up at him. She shakes her head. Ben plays with the end of her hair, hanging loose, free of braids or knots.

“He told me to remember to forgive,” Ben says. “I thought he was just saying that because of how angry I was about finding out what happened with him and Bail, but--”

“He might’ve been saying that because he knew what I had decided to do,” Rey mumbles.

Ben shrugs. “I just… I don’t know. After my father died, Chewie told me that he thought my father would forgive Bail for what he did. And I don’t know. Those two things can be entirely separate, but…”

He thinks of Luke in the rain, refusing to come with Ben and Rey, to go to Leia.

He wonders if Luke knew, then, what was going to happen.

“The last thing he said to me,” Ben murmurs, “was, _See you around, kid.’”_

_“See you around, kid,” Luke says, and walks away, disappearing into the dark rain._

He wonders if Luke knew he was going to die.

Rey smiles into his chest.

“He hasn’t left you,” she says. “Not really.” She looks up at him with warm brown eyes, eyes Ben has searched for, eyes Ben has loved. “No one’s ever really gone.”

_There is no death, there is the Force._

“Right,” Ben says.

_“Sometimes, it’s easier to lose the people we love to death,” Luke says. “That way, we know they could come back, in some form, in another life. It’s losing people in life that is harder. To know they could come back, but won’t.”_

“Thank you,” Ben says, quietly. “Thank you for coming back.”

Rey nods, something wide and vulnerable in her face. She places her hands tenderly on each side of his face, and kisses him, and kisses him, and kisses him.

* * *

There are two people who have left Ben Organa-Solo. Two people that he loves very much, in a way that can feel desperate and hopeless and automatic. They exist, so he loves them. He is the sun, to their moon and star. And here’s the thing about suns, and moons, and stars: Suns and moons rarely linger together; their orbits demand different things from them, and they separate, for they are made of different matters. But a sun is also a kind of star, and so it can coexist peacefully alongside other stars.

It tracks, then, that only the star has come back to Ben now.

The moon, Bail, has not.

Ben does not believe he ever will.

But the star, Rey, came back.

And Ben thinks she always will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To confirm: Rey and Bail no longer have a bridge between their minds. That was 100% Snoke's doing, and now that he's dead, so is that connection.
> 
> All of the Naberries, save for Ryoo and Pooja, are OCs. Amidala's Beach is canon. The mark on Rey's arm is different than the one in TLJ; rather than two hands reaching for the other, it is only one hand.
> 
> Exactly what Luke's final words to Ben were will be explored in the last chapter of this story. The penultimate chapter will be returning to Rey's POV, and setting the stage for the war ahead.


	10. Rebirth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We can prove that the Jedi are capable of growing beyond our failures. That you and I, the last of the Jedi, are capable of it.”

The morning after they arrive, Rey wakes to the smell of cooking food. She sits straight up in bed, causing Ben to groan at the movement.

“I really don’t want to get up yet,” he mumbles, but Rey has already jumped out of bed, fumbling for her clothes. She pulls her trousers and shirt on, but doesn’t bother with her arm wraps or outer tunic. She glances into the fresher mirror, as her hands automatically go up to shape her hair into its normal three buns style. She pauses, staring at her reflection.

And then, purposefully, Rey gathers her hair back in a single bun.

Ben, blinking awake, notices the change.

“This is the second day in a row you’ve had a different hairstyle,” he comments. “Experimenting?”

“Do you not like it?”

He rolls his eyes. “Rey.”

She sighs.

“I used to wear my hair the way I did because it’s what my hair looked like the day my parents left,” she admits. “And some… I always thought that if they came back, they might have trouble recognizing me. Since I’d grown a lot. I figured, if I kept the same hairstyle, it would help them find me.”

Ben blinks at her, looking sad. “Rey…”

“It is what it is,” Rey says, shrugging.

“So why change now? Do you not think you’ll find them anymore?” Ben asks.

Rey considers his question.

She hasn’t had a lot of time to process what she experienced in the mirror cave on Ahch-To. But that feeling, her loneliness and despair solidified in that image of her own reflection; she still feels it acutely. She understands, without reservation, what it means.

The Dark Side had shown her the worst parts of her in an effort to _cure_ her of that which ails her.

Her loneliness, her sorrow, her anger, her grief. All emotions she has struggled with, all tied up in her abandonment. Like part of Ben will never leave that burning Temple, part of Rey will never leave the sands of Jakku.

They are two people who are building themselves up again after their worlds ended.

That line on their palms, redirected. The light in the mirror, refracted.

Rey fiddles, smoothing down her shirt.

“I’m not going to spend time worrying about them,” she tells Ben. “If I find them, I find them. If I don’t, I don’t. I have other things to do, to focus on. Things for _me.”_ She looks at him. “And by that, I mean I want to focus my attention on becoming a Jedi, and helping the Resistance, and fixing the _Falcon,_ and kissing you. And having sex with you, I’d like to keep doing that.”

Ben laughs.

“But first,” Rey declares. “I want breakfast.”

* * *

They go upstairs, to the terrace.

It’s just after nine in the morning, but the sun has already fully risen, its rays reflecting off the pristine surface of the lake surrounding Varykino. A long table has been set up on the smooth stone of the terrace (though Ben’s Aunt Pooja had called it a _patio,_ Rey knows just about anyone would call this large space a _terrace)_ and is heavily laden with food. Rey recognizes most of the dishes from what Maz Kanata had served up for them on Takodana, but others are totally foreign to her.

“You should try the Karlini tea,” Ben says, gesturing to a dark, emerald green tea Rose is drinking from an achingly fragile-looking cup. “It’s very pleasant.”

“You’re having caf,” Rey notes. It had been the first thing Ben had gone for.

“Listen, you’ve dealt with me in the morning without caf, would you wish that same fate on anyone?”

Rey laughs.

She eagerly takes a few slices of five blossom bread, the bread she’d tried a bit the night before. She doesn’t know which five blossoms are baked into it, only that the texture is nice, and the taste divine. There are Fambaa strips, the fried meat of a mammal common to Naboo, and stacks of Falumpaset cheese, made locally, she learns. She adds a stack of hotcakes covered with syrup and a bowl of breakfast fruit before she runs out of hands.

She finds Finn and Poe sitting at a table under a willow tree.

“Morning,” Finn says, quite cheerfully.

“Morning,” Rey replies, sitting down. “This food looks amazing.”

“Tastes even better, too,” Poe says, around a mouthful of porridge mixed with pears.

“You’re right, _Commander,”_ Rey replies, and Poe chokes a little, and Finn laughs.

Poe recovers quickly, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

“Hey, I was surprised too,” Poe says. “Neither of you were there for all of the action. It was… It wasn’t great for a while.”

Rey frowns. “What happened?”

Finn had not been much of a help in giving her the details. Between being in a coma and being on Canto Bight, Finn had missed a majority of the action on the _Raddus_ and among the Resistance fleet. He hadn’t been able to offer much insight on all that had occurred before Rey rejoined the Resistance on Crait. Finn now looks just as interested as Rey in hearing the story from Poe.

Poe sighs.

He tells them about his clash with Amilyn Holdo, his ill-fated mutiny. Rey only briefly remembers Holdo from her time on D’Qar. She mostly remembers the woman’s light purple hair, and her easy communication with Leia, the two of them talking to and leaning on one another like old friends.

“And I was wrong,” Poe says. “I was so wrong. She had it handled. I was… I was so caught up in thinking that the right decisions are so clear that if I don’t immediately understand them that they’re then wrong decisions. Does that make sense?”

“Yes,” Rey says, immediately.

It is so similar to her own thought path while thinking of her vision of Bail turning to the Light.

She half-glances across the terrace, to where Ben is sitting with his Naberrie cousins.

“It sounds like you figured it out, though,” Finn comments. “From what Kaydel told me yesterday, you were the one who knew when to retreat from that ground assault on Crait, and you knew what Luke Skywalker was trying to do, knew how to take advantage of it. That’s pretty stellar.”

“Right,” Rey agrees.

Poe shrugs. “I wish it didn’t… I wish I could’ve gotten there without everything else.”

“Sometimes,” Rey says, quietly, “There isn’t any other way.”

Sometimes, things are inevitable. And sometimes, you make them so.

Poe’s journey to becoming a Resistance leader seems to have involved all of that.

“Yeah, well,” Poe says, smirking a little at Rey, “What about _you,_ Madam Jedi?”

“I’m just an apprentice,” Rey scoffs.

“Oh, is that what they’re calling it these days?” Poe asks, with a very pointed and unsubtle look at Ben, blissfully out of earshot. Rey flushes.

“Don’t be mean,” Finn says. “I’m happy for you, Rey. It looks like you and Ben got things figured out.”

“Yeah,” Rey says.

She thinks they have.

* * *

She is on her third cup of Karlini tea, staring out at the crystal clear lake and wondering if she might be able to take a swim in it, when Rey feels a soft presence at her side. She turns, coming face-to-face with one of Ben’s many tanned, lovely cousins. This woman is a bit shorter than Rey, but close to her own age.

“Hello,” the woman says. “I’m Amani.”

“Rey,” Rey replies, shaking Amani’s hand.

“Ah, yes,” Amani says. “The Jedi.”

Rey wonders if this is her future. Where she introduces herself, and is called only _Jedi_ in response. It isn’t the worst thing, she decides. She kind of likes _Rey the Jedi_ more than _Rey of Nowhere._

Though Rey of Nowhere _is_ growing on her. Perhaps because Luke had said it so fondly.

“This is a beautiful estate,” Rey says. “And the planet… I’ve never seen anything like it.”

That isn’t exactly saying much, but Amani doesn’t know that.

Amani beams. “Naboo is the crown jewel in the tiara of the Mid Rim. We are well known for our art and our fashion, but neither of those trades can hold a candle to the natural beauty of the planet.”

“It’s so… _green,”_ Rey murmurs.

Even now, after Takodana and Ahch-To; Rey is still filled with awe at the sight of the rich color. The sign of growth and the promise of rebirth. The green here does not dominate like it did on Ahch-To and Takodana. The green here instead is a liner on everything; the leaves of the trees rustling against the tan walls of the manor house, the grass trickling into the clear lake, the forest-covered mountains rising above the islands. The green of Naboo exists to bring out all the other colors and life.

“How long have you been training?” Amani asks.

“Not long at all,” Rey admits. “Only a month.”

“And how long have you known Ben?”

Rey offers an awkward shrug. “Just over a month.”

“To be honest, I thought it’d be longer than that,” Amani muses. “Considering the way he looks at you.”

Rey flushes.

She knows Ben loves her. Aside from him literally telling her as much, she’s witnessed it, seeing Ben look at her fondly over the firepit in the village, correcting her Form stances with tender hands, patiently listening as she stumbles her way through reading new words, always checking to make sure she’s had enough to eat. Ben loves so fully, and so devotedly, it is truly dizzying to someone like Rey, who doesn’t remember ever having _any_ love.

She thinks this is why she is so shy and weird about telling him that she loves him, too.

Of course she does.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Amani says, catching Rey’s blush. “I’m just glad this New Order of Jedi has done away with the rules about attachments. It always seemed so cruel to me.”

This gets Rey’s attention.

She looks up from her teacup. “Rules about attachments?”

“Yes, the ones that forbid romantic attachment. It caused my great-aunt Padmé and her Jedi husband a great amount of grief; and was why she could never tell the family they’d married. We only found out recently, when my late grandmother found a marriage license in the Naboo government archives.” Amani stops, noticing Rey’s stilled face, her wide eyes. “Did… Did neither Uncle Luke nor Ben mention this?”

Rey is absolutely sure that neither Luke nor Ben mentioned this. Luke, because she can remember quite clearly everything he said to her about the Jedi, as it wasn’t much. And Ben, because they never actually talked about their relationship until the day before.

She’s also sure she never read about this in any of the texts, though that doesn’t mean it wasn’t in them; only that she had not gotten to that part.

“No,” she admits.

She looks down into her tea, a hollow space opening up in her chest.

Ben has seemed so sure and so committed when it comes to her… But if he is really the _best_ of the Jedi, as Luke said, as Rey believes, then what does that mean for them?

“I shouldn’t have said anything,” Amani breathes, sounding horrified.

“Don’t worry about it,” Rey interjects, quickly. Amani is not responsible for Rey’s own doubt. “Ben and I will talk about it when the time comes.”

Privately, Rey thinks that time _has_ come, but doesn’t voice it.

Instead, she changes the topic: “I tried a Fambaa strip earlier, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Fambaa before. Can you describe one for me? And are there any wild Fambaa nearby that I might be able to see in person?”

* * *

Breakfast does not fully wrap up until close to noon. At this point, Chewbacca loads up a good number of rebels into the _Falcon_ , to fly them to Theed, the capital city, for them to catch transports leaving the planet in order to return to their families. 

Among the leaving soldiers is Rose.

“I wish I could stay,” Rose says, gripping Finn in a tight hug, Rey, Poe, and Ben watching. “But I really need to get home to my parents. They don’t know about Paige yet, and I need to tell them.”

Paige, Rey has learned, is Rose’s older sister. She died during the evacuation of D’Qar, in a heroic and sacrificial move that saved the _Raddus_ and its occupants, including Rose.

Rose hugs Poe next. “Once more; who is the first person you call when you have an update on where the Resistance is going next?”

Poe laughs. “You, of course.”

“Good,” Rose says, smiling, and immediately turns to hug Rey. Rey is a little surprised by this hug; neither of them have gotten to speak much. But Rose is so delightful, funny and friendly, and Rey returns the hug as best as she can.

“We’ll talk more when I’m back,” Rose insists, and Rey nods.

“I’d like that.”

Rose turns to Ben. “Get down here.”

Ben laughs, but bends so Rose can wrap her arms around him.

“Thank you for everything, Rose,” he says, warmly. “Finn and I would have been toast without you. We would never have made it off Cantonica.”

“We truly are the dream team,” Rose says with a laugh, and Rey catches Finn’s eye over her shoulder. He gives her a confirming nod.

The four of them watch as Rose and the rest of the Resistance clamber aboard the _Falcon._ They remain standing outside the manor house as the _Falcon_ takes off, flying into the clear blue sky.

“Are you going home, too, Poe?” Ben asks.

Poe shrugs. “I really should try to see my dad, but… I can’t leave Leia. Not like this, not when there are so few of us. Especially since I am, apparently, second-in-command.” He stares into open space after he says this, as if he still cannot quite believe it. “I’ll comm him, and see if he wants to make a trip out to Naboo. He hasn’t gotten to see Leia in forever, so I think he might actually take me up on it. Besides, I gotta introduce him to Finn.”

“Me? Why?” Finn asks, but Poe only winks at him before turning, and disappearing into the manor house.

* * *

In the afternoon, Rey and Ben go swimming.

Finn also steps into the lake, under the watchful eyes of two of Ben’s cousins, Iphigenia and Baris. Like Rey, Finn is brand new to swimming, never having been exposed to open water before. When the two Naberries ask Finn about how he avoided ever getting an opportunity to swim, Finn shrugs off their curiosity with vague answers about spending time in cities rather than open country like Naboo.

It is not really a lie.

While Iphigenia coaches Finn through the dead man’s float (and Finn nearly leaps out of the water when she calls it that), Rey and Ben swim out to Amidala’s Beach.

The water of Naboo is warmer than the water of Ahch-To, sunkissed by the bright sun overhead. It is all freshwater, not saltwater like Ahch-To’s seas, and Rey is surprised by the taste when it first hits her tongue. The instinct to drink surges up in her, that long-held memory of thirst from all her years alone in the desert, when she never turned down an opportunity to drink. Here, there is no shortage of clean, fresh water. Here, there is no reason to fear dying of dehydration.

Here, Rey is a new person.

She and Ben swim side-by-side, and Rey knows that part of this is due to Ben’s worry that Rey will become tired, having not swum this far before. But she also knows that Ben stays close because he wants to be close to her, and she welcomes his presence and his attachment. It feels very companionable, this kind of calm, leisurely activity. Something any other couple in the galaxy might do for fun.

They reach the island in fifteen minutes of swimming.

Rey clambers onto the beach. The sand is soft under her feet, much more pleasant than the sand of Ahch-To, which was more rock than anything else. It’s also quite warm, heated by the rising sun, and Rey studies the way her toes sink into the sand, like a warm blanket is covering them. Ben walks up next to her, pushing his wet hair out of his eyes.

“What do you think?” he asks.

The island is quite small. A cottage might be able to fit on it, maybe the _Falcon,_ but not much else. A little hill rises in the middle of the island, tall green grass waving softly in the breeze, brambles of heather and lillies cropping up in patches.

“I love it,” Rey says.

A bit of wildness and loveliness, surrounded by blue and green.

They sit on the sand, facing Varykino. Rey squints, shielding her eyes, and peers across the lake. She can see slight movements and ripples of people in the water there, coupled with the yells and laughter that echo across the lake. Finn and the cousins, swimming and having fun.

Such a strange thing that is, for Finn and Rey: having fun.

“Rey,” Ben says.

“Hm?” She looks away from the other island, to give Ben her attention.

He’s picking at the sand in between them, drawing nonsensical patterns with one finger.

“I don’t…” He hesitates. “I don’t know how to ask this. I just know I have to. I will wonder and worry about it forever, and it’ll always be between us, and we’ll never get past it, and I can’t live like that.”

“What is it?”

Ben sighs.

He looks up at her, something sad and beseeching in his face, and Rey stills.

“Did you really only go to Bail because you thought he could be turned?” Ben asks.

It takes Rey a moment to understand his question.

Her initial reaction is the truth: _Yes, of course._ But Ben’s seriousness and imploring expression tells her that this is something bigger than that. Rey thinks about it, tries to come up with other reasons she might have gone to Bail, reasons that might have Ben feeling distressed and awkward. 

She thinks of what Ben fears.

“Oh,” she says, as it hits her.

Ben fears being alone. He fears not being enough.

“Ben,” Rey says, gently, “I only went to Bail because I believed it was the perfect time, the only time, I could turn him, based off the Force vision I had. I did not go to him for any other reason. I did not go to him because I thought he could offer me something you couldn’t.”

Ben runs a hand through his drying hair.

“I just…” He shakes his head. “Luke commented on this, more than once, but you and Bail have a lot in common. You’re both incredibly strong in the Force, dangerous warriors, headstrong, fearless, and steadfast. There’s… I get it.”

“Ben,” Rey says. “Have you ever considered that maybe the reason I like you so much is because you are _you?”_

He glances at her.

The answer is clear: _No._

“You’re a sun, Ben,” Rey says. “But the best parts of a sun. You’re _warm._ I feel… I feel good when I’m near you. I feel happy, and calm. You make me laugh, and smile, and you are so kind to me. These aren’t just things I feel when I reach out to you in the Force, they are things I feel when I’m with you, and your personality.”

Ben is a sun.

And Bail is a moon.

Rey thinks she might fall somewhere in between the two of them.

What she knows for sure is that she has her own inner darkness to contend with. Her own rage and her own doubts, her own fears. What she craves, what she wants, is someone who gives her peace. Someone who reaches out for her without question or expecting anything in return. Someone whose selflessness guides them. Someone who never strays far from her.

She takes his hand, pulling it away from his aimless sand drawings, and holds it to her face.

“Please, never doubt where you are with me,” Rey says, quietly. “I will always need you, and want you. You’re my sun. My best sun.”

_“The sun will keep you safe.”_

She blinks at the memory.

She wonders how Ben might fit into it.

“Thank you,” he murmurs. “I wasn’t… worried, really. But I needed to know.”

“I understand.”

“But I do want to make sure you know that when… if… you ever change your mind,” Ben says, speaking quickly now, “That it’s completely fair and understandable. And I will need you to tell me. And it won’t change our relationship as Jedi. We’ll still work together, still train, still teach. That's definite, no matter what else we may become to each other.”

Rey finds this wholly unnecessary for her to know, but understands it’s important to Ben that she does, so she nods without commentary. “Okay.”

“Good,” Ben says. 

“That does remind me, though.”

Ben looks at her.

“Amani told me that there was once a rule among the Jedi Order,” Rey says, “That romantic attachment was forbidden.”

_“Ah.”_

A soft flush darkens Ben’s pale neck. Rey wants to laugh at his clear embarrassment.

“She’s not wrong,” Ben says. “And I should have told you about it before now.”

“I’m not upset,” Rey says. “I just want to understand.”

Ben sighs.

“The Jedi long considered themselves to be neutral in all things except in keeping the peace,” Ben explains. “Loyal to the Republic, inclusive to all, connected only to the Force. Apprentices were expected to become close to their Masters, but were also expected to be able to lessen that bond when they reached Knighthood. Young children were taken from their families to go to the Temple on Coruscant for their training, with the understanding that they likely would never see or speak to their families again.”

Rey’s eyes widen. “That’s barbaric.”

“It is,” Ben agrees.

She thinks this might be the first time he’s agreed with an anti-Jedi stance of hers.

“Master Luke--” and Rey registers the formal title even if Ben himself doesn’t notice “--didn’t agree with it either. Although I guess he also never had to think about doing it. He took Bail and me on with our parents’ full understanding of what that entailed, and all the other apprentices went to him willingly, with their families’ permission. Many of their families were relieved; it can be hard to care for a Force sensitive child. But Luke never fully separated any of us. He scheduled regular breaks at the Temple, forcing us to go home and be with our families again. Initially, he probably did this because he knew my father would be turning up at the Temple every few months otherwise.”

Rey smiles at the imagery, and knows it is not hyperbole.

Han Solo was loyal to his boys above all things. He was always wanting to come back to them.

“Whenever Luke talked about attachment, it was always to encourage us to treat it as a gift,” Ben says. “To treat our closeness of our families and friends as something remarkable, as it allowed us to more intimately understand how we are all connected in the Force. He never told us to fear it, or shun it; he wanted us to embrace it.”

“I agree,” Rey says, quietly.

It might be the first time she’s ever agreed with Luke on his anti-Jedi takes.

Luke Skywalker and Rey of Nowhere: children of the desert, who lost their families, and found themselves alone in a big universe. Both two Jedi who, having known that loss, would do anything to keep families together.

“Me too,” Ben says. “The funny thing is… We never really got to talking about romantic attachment specifically. Which is kind of hilarious, since Luke was really dealing with a bunch of teenagers at the end there. Bail and I were the eldest, but most of the others were only two years younger than us. He really avoided that lecture. And maybe… I wonder if it’s because he wasn’t sure how to approach it. My grandfather fell in love with and married my grandmother while he was a Jedi Knight. They kept it secret their whole marriage, and afterward, too. I don’t know if any of the other Jedi suspected, or knew; if they did, they didn’t acknowledge it.”

“Luke never fell in love, or married?”

“Not to my knowledge,” Ben says, wryly. “But I can’t say for certain either way. I’m inclined to say no, however; Luke led a very unique life. That presents a lot of challenges.”

And Luke had told her as much.

_“And I was a galactic hero. Everywhere I went, I would be asked to… to bless people, to offer them comfort, to heal their ills. And I was all alone in this.” Luke looks at Rey. “To continue to live after the climax of your myth is a very difficult thing.”_

_How lonely you lived,_ Rey thinks. _How lonely you made yourself be._

“Sounds to me like you’ll have to establish a position on romantic attachment with the Jedi,” Rey notes.

“Yeah,” Ben agrees. “We should--”

“No. No _we._ This is a _you_ thing.”

Ben stares. “You’re very much involved--”

“I’m not a Jedi Master,” Rey interrupts. “I’m not the Head of the New Jedi Order. That’s you, Ben. When it comes to setting standards and creating new rules, that’s up to you. I’m willing to listen, and offer advice, but it needs to be something you come up with. Luke knew this, and I do, too.”

_“I was waiting for him to reach that conclusion on his own,” Luke says. “Forgetting, it seems, how so much of Ben’s personality is tied back in his own anxiety and hesitation. And that’s where you come in, Rey. He needs someone who will always challenge him, who will push him, who will force him to make changes and consider a new perspective. He needs someone who is not afraid to follow her gut. He needs someone who is not afraid.”_

“I want to help you, Ben,” Rey says. “But I don’t want to make choices for you.”

Ben has always wanted to make his own choices, and to forgive himself for them.

Rey refuses to get in the way of that.

Ben nods, staring out over the lake.

“You’re right,” he says. “I should figure it out.”

“For what it’s worth, I really hope you don’t choose to leave me,” Rey says.

Ben looks at her. “I won’t.”

He says it plainly, with no inflection. Only open honesty. As if it costs him nothing to say it, nothing that frightens him, nothing that pains him. It is what it is. They are what they are.

“Luke was right about a few things,” Ben says. “Including that the Jedi weren’t perfect. I can’t make them be totally perfect; but maybe I can make them--and us--be a little better. More cognizant of our mistakes and how to rectify them.”

“The importance of trying again,” Rey murmurs.

“Something you showed me,” Ben says, smiling at her. “Yes. Exactly. We can prove that the Jedi are capable of growing beyond our failures. That you and I, the last of the Jedi, are capable of it.”

Rey nods.

It’s a nice, gallant, goal. It’s one she thinks Ben and she have a good shot at meeting.

Rey leans her head on his bare shoulder, and Ben wraps her hand up in his.

The lake is still and calm, Varykino a blur of distant tan and green. But as Rey sits there, feeling Ben breathe next to her, she feels something else. A soft kind of presence, reminiscent of Leia, but different, with a hint of something delicate at the edges that Leia does not have. And the presence is warm, warm and gentle, reminding Rey more of Ben than Leia. Rey blinks, forcing herself to keep still as the presence moves closer. As the phantom feel of a palm on her shoulder follows.

_Ben looks at the island, the clear lake leading to it. “Bail and I used to swim out to it, every time we were here. We initially did it to test ourselves, to try and beat the other there. But as we got older, we… It started to feel important. Like a pilgrimage. I think a tiny part of her might still echo there. If she was going to exist as a memory anywhere here, I think it’d be the island. Varykino was a place she visited and loved, but it’s a place that belongs to the entire Naberrie Family. That island was all hers.”_

Rey turns her head a little, but as she expected, no one is there.

Visibly, at least.

Rey knows in her bones, in her lungs, in her heart and her head: Padmé Naberrie Amidala has visited them, and offered them her blessing. Her approval in their resolution to reshape the Jedi Order; her approval in what Ben and Rey have decided they are to each other, to not hide it, but to embrace it.

Rey smiles into Ben’s shoulder.

They sit in warm, companionable silence, looking out over the lake.

* * *

“Rey?”

Rey looks up. She’s been out on the terrace for over an hour, practicing her Form III stances with her staff. Ben had offered up his lightsaber for her to use, but she’d turned him down. It had been so long since she’d held her staff, and she’d missed it, the familiar length and weight of it, this item that had been her only weapon for much of her life.

Rey follows Leia’s voice, walking into the sunroom at the back of the house.

Leia is resting comfortably on a long chair, a glass of green liquid that Rey immediately recognizes as the emerald wine commonly served on Naboo on the table next to her. Leia is dressed less formally today, in clothes borrowed from her cousins; tan trousers and a white blouse, her feet bare. Leia’s toenails are painted dark blue, and Rey can’t stop staring at them.

The imagery of General Leia Organa giving herself a pedicure delights Rey.

“Join me?” Leia asks, and Rey nods, sitting in the chair next to Leia. The cushions are gold-colored, patterned with silver stars.

“How are you?” Leia asks, and Rey stares at her.

“Me? I’m fine.”

“I’m sorry we haven’t had much of a chance to talk,” Leia says. “Since everything that happened. Ben has filled me in on a bit of it, but I’d like to hear from you, if you will.”

Rey frowns. “On…?”

“Whatever you’d like to share. Unburden yourself.”

Rey had already told Leia about her time with Bail and Snoke on the dreadnought, so she’s sure this isn’t what Leia is really after. She opens her mouth--

“I broke Luke’s lightsaber.”

Leia blinks.

Rey looks at her.

“I see,” Leia says. “Well, that’s too bad.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“Because it was something that belonged to _Luke,”_ Rey says. “To your family, and I broke it. Ben’s looked at it, he doesn’t think it can be fixed.”

Leia shrugs. “Then it can’t be fixed. That isn’t the worst thing. No one is upset about the lightsaber, Rey; except maybe you.”

Rey thinks this is probably true. 

“I’m sorry about Luke, General. The loss of your brother.”

Leia offers her a somber smile. “Thank you, Rey. I am too. But I appreciate his sacrifice, and I am grateful he came back to me, before the end. Luke carried a lot of guilt for what happened with Bail; I like to think he can count his final act as a proper bit of penance. I hold no anger towards Luke over that. Not anymore.”

Rey thinks of what Ben told her, of dead Jedi walking among the living. “Do you think he’ll come back? As a Force… spirit?”

“Maybe,” Leia says. “But even if he doesn’t, I know I’ll always have him near. No one’s ever really gone.”

Rey nods. “I heard him say that to you. He said it to me, too. His third lesson. A reminder that death is not the end, and goodbyes in life are not always final. I think he was trying to comfort me for trying to turn Bail, as you did.”

“And I think for me, it was a reminder as well.” Leia smiles. “Luke placed something in my hand, just before he walked away.”

Rey remembers this, how the movement had seemed to shake something in Leia.

“It was a perfect copy of Han’s dice,” Leia says. “Those two gold dice. I was so confused at first, since I knew Ben still wore his, and how in the galaxy had Luke gotten it away from him? But then I put it together next to what Luke had just said to me. And I realized it was a reminder that not only is Han not fully gone, but Bail isn’t, either.”

Rey looks at her.

“Bail Organa-Solo is my son,” Leia murmurs. “And that means that Kylo Ren is my son. He may not want to be--and I’m sure he doesn’t--but the truth is undeniable. Whoever he is, whoever he becomes, he is my son. If he asked; I would take him home in a heartbeat.”

It is a tragic, selfless thing to say. A pure example of unconditional love. How even now, she wants him, badly.

“Me too,” Bail’s voice whispers.

Rey looks up.

Ben stands in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. Rey had not felt him come in, but from the sorrowful look in his eyes, he’s heard Leia’s last words. His right hand is fidgeting with the gold die hanging from the cord around his neck.

“I realized that, when Bail started firing on me and the _Falcon,”_ Ben says. “That even if he is not _Bail_ anymore; he’s still my brother. Bail became Kylo Ren. He changed; he did not die.”

“Is that a comfort, or a curse?” Rey wonders.

Ben and Leia look at one another.

“In some ways, it is harder,” Leia murmurs. “To know how so much of this is Bail’s choice.”

“I used to think Bail was gone completely,” Ben admits. “After Ilum, I thought he was. But now… I’m not as sure.”

“Think he could come back?” Leia asks.

“I don’t know,” Ben says. “But I’m certain that I will have that answer, in one way or another, before this is all over. And I think I… I _know_ Bail, or Kylo, isn’t finished with me yet. And I’m not done with him, either.”

 _You are your brother’s keeper,_ Rey thinks.

As Bail is Ben’s.

Two boys who have only ever longed for the other to stay, and found themselves alone.

Rey knows Ben is right.

Before this is over, the war, the First Order, the Resistance: the Organa-Solo twins will have to confront each other one last time.

* * *

Rey and Ben rise at dawn the following morning.

They go upstairs, to the dining room, that has rapidly been repurposed as a command center. Starcharts and datapads litter the space, a hologram projecting the Outer Rim onto the expensive drapes that block the rays from the morning sun from permeating the room. Several communication stations have been set up around the room, spaced rather sporadically, taking calls and messages from around the galaxy.

“Hey,” Finn says, marching straight to Rey and Ben. “So, we heard from Rose.”

“She made it home already?” Ben asks, surprised.

Finn looks pained, and Rey’s heart drops. “Ah… Not quite. Chewie took everyone to a public communications office in Theed, so they could get in touch with their families, and Rose couldn’t get ahold of hers. So she and Chewie spent the night in Theed to try again in the morning. The thing is…” Finn sighs. “They ended up going out to a bar in Theed that Chewie knew to be Resistance-friendly, and they heard the news there. The First Order took over Hays Minor years ago, for the mines, to build war machines, right? That’s how Rose and Paige first got involved with the Resistance. And… the First Order decided Hays Minor would also make an ideal testing ground once the mines were used up. They shelled the planet. A full genocide.”

Rey presses her hand to her mouth, horror surging in her.

Poor, poor Rose. First her sister, and now her parents, her friends, her _homeworld?_

 _“Kriff,”_ Ben breathes. “Oh, no. Sithspit.”

“Yeah,” Finn agrees. “She and Chewie are on their way back here. Rose is devastated, of course; and she’s determined to use her sorrow for the better, by working with the Resistance, as she and Paige did back when they first joined.”

“But it’s clear,” and this is Poe, coming up from behind Finn. He’s got a cup of caf in one hand and a small plate of Galma fruit in the other, which he hands to Finn. “That the First Order isn’t wasting any time after the Battle of Crait. They’re…” He hesitates, looking at Ben. “There’s something you need to see.”

They follow Poe to the dining room table. Poe pushes aside various maps and lists of names, pulling a datapad out of the clutter, passing it to Ben.

“This came out on the holonet late last night,” Poe says, and presses a button.

Bail’s face fills the screen.

Rey grips Ben’s arm, feeling his entire body tighten.

“Supreme Leader Snoke has been murdered,” Bail says, staring directly into the camera. He’s standing on the bridge of some unidentifiable ship, a background of black space right behind him. “By enemies of the First Order. As such, the chain of command is clear, and I, Kylo Ren, am now Supreme Leader.”

“It was broadcast everywhere,” Poe murmurs. “My dad saw it out on Yavin IV. And Rose and Chewie saw it at the bar in Theed.”

“He goes on to list a massive new invasion by the First Order into the Outer Rim,” Finn says. “They’re setting up new bases on Utapau, Geonosis, Raxus--”

“Separatist worlds,” Ben murmurs. “They’re following the playbook of the Confederacy of Independent Systems.”

Poe nods, gravely. “The first steps that led to the creation of the Empire.”

“It’s a smart move,” Ben says. “It worked out well for the Empire, after all. But they won’t get a proper hold on the Outer Rim until they enlist the Hutts or the Bothans; is there any intel on where the First Order is with those groups?”

“Not yet.”

The four young people look around. Leia has entered the room, C-3PO on her heels.

“The First Order is capitalizing on the death of Snoke to marshal their sympathizers,” Leia says. She marches purposefully forward, and Rey straightens, reminded of Leia on D’Qar, when she called a full room to order with only the timbre of her voice. “We would be remiss to not do the same with the death of Luke Skywalker.”

“How so, General?” Finn asks.

“A whisper campaign,” Ben says, and Leia nods.

“A what?” Rey asks.

“Rey, Finn,” Ben says, “How did you first hear about Luke Skywalker?”

Rey thinks about it. “At Niima Outpost. Tales from spacers dropping by to barter or sell goods, or for a drink. I’d overhear them when I was selling my scraps to Plutt.”

“And I heard about Luke from other troopers,” Finn says. “Usually said over meals, or in the bunks. Where we didn’t think we’d be overhead.” Finn pauses, understanding. “Usually whispered.”

Leia nods. “Rebellions have long thrived and been kept alive based on rumors, extravagant tales of heroism and sacrifice that give people hope. We must start a whisper campaign of our own now, based on what Luke did for us on Crait. A single man facing down the might of the First Order, the new Supreme Leader included. A single man who wasn’t even really there; the apparition of him was enough to hold off the First Order for the Resistance to escape and live to fight another day.”

She turns to the table, pushing a button on a projector. A massive map of the galaxy flares up, appearing on the wall.

“We’ll start with worlds we already know we have sympathizers on,” Leia says. She uses a laser pointer to highlight galactic north. “Poe, I’d like to send you, Finn, and Rose to Fest to start with. Fest was one of the first worlds to turn on the Empire; the Atrivis Sector Force is legendary in Alliance history. I still have a few friends there who will hear you out, and possibly get the Sector to relaunch in the name of destabilizing the First Order. They love a good rebellion out there. After Fest, head to Mygeeto. It’s not too far from Fest, and it was once an excellent recruitment world for the Alliance; we found some of our best soldiers there. After Mygeeto, go to Dantooine. We once had a permanent base there, before we found an Imperial listening device and had to abandon it. But Dantooine was quite sympathetic to us. And Poe?”

Poe had been taking notes, typing them all furiously on his datapad. He looks up when Leia says his name.

“You will be going as second-in-command of the Resistance,” Leia says. “Use that to your full advantage. You have a right to be making these requests, to be drawing this support.”

There is fire in Poe’s eyes.

_“No,” Poe says, firm. “We are… We are the spark, that will light the fire, that will burn the First Order down. Skywalker’s doing this so we can survive.”_

“Yes, General,” Poe says, and Leia gives him a firm nod.

“Finn,” Leia continues, and Finn straightens. “Pay attention to what Poe does. It won’t be long before I will be asking you to head your own recruitment missions.”

“Yes, General,” Finn says, eyes very wide.

“Chewie, Threepio, and I will make the usual stops,” Leia says. “Christophsis, Takodana, Eriadu, Bespin.”

Ben smirks. “Going to see Lando?” 

“He’d better have a good reason for not contacting me on Crait,” Leia grumbles. “But even so; I do need to tell him about Han.”

The humor leaves Ben’s face in a heartbeat. He sighs.

“Before we do anything else, Rey and I need to go to Ahch-To,” Ben says. “All of our things are still there, and we need to recover all of the Jedi texts, and see what… See what else Luke might have left there.”

A short, somber silence falls, and then Ben adds:

“And we need to get Artoo.”

“Artoo!” C-3PO exclaims. “Is he back?”

“Yes,” Ben says, smiling. “Luke got him back online. I’m sure he’s eager to see you, and he’ll be very upset he’s been left alone there.”

“Can’t have that,” Leia agrees, dryly, but there is something soft in her face, and a hint of clear relief.

“But we won’t need to be on Ahch-To for long,” Ben continues. “Where would you like us to go next?”

Leia’s lips purse. 

“Being with the Naberries on Naboo got me thinking,” she says. “About how we can’t afford to ignore the remaining family we have left. We must use any connections we have to our advantage.”

Ben frowns. “Are you talking about New Alderaan?”

“Close,” Leia says. “I’d like you to go to Velmor, and meet with King Denid.”

Ben stares. _“Really?”_

“Really. He’s a kind man. Luke and I helped him recover his throne after his father was killed by Imperial sympathizers and Denid was forced into exile. Under Denid, Velmor formally aligned with the Alliance.” Leia pauses, and adds, “It helps too that after Alderaan was destroyed, quite a few Alderaanians went to Velmor to make a new home. Its customs and society are quite similar. The population density of Alderaanians will mean that you will get an audience with the King of Velmor, as the heir to the Royal House of Alderaan.”

Rey, Finn, and Poe stare at Ben.

Rey wonders how it somehow escaped her understanding that Ben is, to at least part of the galaxy, a Prince.

As far as she is aware, Leia was never formally crowned Queen, and Alderaan is not much aside from a recently settled planet in the Outer Rim, the New Alderaan that Ben had assumed Leia would be sending them to. But New Alderaan definitely wouldn’t have as much to offer the Resistance as a long-established world and society would.

“Denid married an Alderaanian bride,” Leia continues. “I have not met her, but it’s safe to say she will be _thrilled_ to host a member of House Organa.”

Ben rubs a hand over his cheek. “Great.”

Leia touches his arm. “I would go instead, but it’s important that I get to other strategic contacts first.”

“I know, Mom, I--”

“And besides, this may be the last time I ask you to do something as my son. In the future, I will ask you as I would make a request of the Head of the New Jedi Order.”

Ben looks at her.

Leia smiles, and it is all affection, all pride, and Rey feels the way Ben’s shoulders relax.

“I will ask, at some point, that the Jedi formally align with the Resistance,” Leia says. “And it will be your choice to accept my request, and to come up with stipulations or arrangements for your support, and what you want in return. It will be a formal negotiation, sitting down at a table. But as the Resistance does not currently have a table of its own, that day is not today.” Leia raises an eyebrow. “But keep an eye out for my meeting request.”

Ben stares.

Leia pats him on the arm, and turns to the others.

“Any questions?”

* * *

Chewbacca and Rose land an hour later, to find the remaining members of the Resistance--Leia, Ben, Rey, Poe, Finn, C-3PO, and BB-8--waiting in front of the manor house. Rose is the first off the _Millennium Falcon,_ and upon seeing the faces of her friends, perhaps the last friends she has in the galaxy; she bursts into tears.

Finn and Poe hurry to her, and she throws herself into their arms, weeping.

“I thought of keeping Rose with me,” Leia muses, “To give Poe and Finn time on their own. But Rose needs her friends more than Poe needs an extra push to make a kriffing move already.”

Ben laughs, and Rey smiles.

Leia looks at them.

“Don’t you dare elope on Velmor,” she says, sternly, and Ben’s face floods with red, and Rey bites her palm to keep from snorting.

“Kriff, Mom--”

“Just making my feelings clear,” Leia says, smoothly.

Rose reaches Ben, and he hugs her tightly. Rose stretches one hand out to Rey, and Rey takes it, holding Rose’s hand tightly in both of hers.

“I’m so sorry,” Rey whispers.

“Me, too,” Rose says, managing a somber smile below cheeks coated with tears. “Me, too.”

She steps back, surveying Ben, Rey, Finn, Poe, Leia, and Chewbacca.

“I miss them so much,” Rose whispers. “But it’s got me thinking, about how we will win this war. We’ll win not by killing what we hate; but by saving what we love.”

Rey thinks of her rage and her unbearable loneliness, courted by the Dark in an effort to turn her heart cold.

And Rose, she knows, is right.

It was her love for Ben, for her friends, for Luke, for the Jedi, for _herself,_ that has kept Rey’s path true and Light.

* * *

The Naberries donate a couple of their ships to the cause. Leia ends up with a sleek H-type Nubian yacht, rocket-shaped, plated in chromium. It is jaw-droppingly gorgeous, making the _Falcon_ look like a toy ship put together by a somewhat creative child. The J-type star skiff that Leia immediately bestows upon Poe is less stunning than the yacht, but still remarkable, and Poe looks like he’s been handed the keys to his own planet.

“You sure you still want the _Falcon,_ Ben?” Poe asks, as Rose ducks under the hull of the star skiff, looking around in awe.

Ben smiles. “I’m sure.”

They say their goodbyes, with hugs and wishes for clear skies and safe travels. Rey hugs all the Naberries, who urge her to come back soon and visit, and she finds herself comfortably making that promise. She does want to come back to Naboo, to see more of its lovely green, and the kind family that lives here. 

“See you soon,” Finn mumbles, hugging Rey tightly, a hug she returns with just as much force.

“Before you can miss me,” Rey confirms.

She goes to Leia last.

Leia takes her hands in hers, peering up at Rey. “Thank you for doing this.”

“Of course,” Rey says, warmly.

“May the Force be with you.”

Rey grins. “May the Force be with you, General.”

Leia and Ben hug last, Ben curving his spine around Leia, the top of her head barely skimming his shoulder. They make a peaceful, loving sight, mother and son, and it seems to cost both of them something when they part.

Rey follows him into the _Falcon,_ the two of them automatically falling into their typical positions, Rey as co-pilot and Ben as pilot. Ben half-glances at her as they sit, and Rey’s stomach clenches in guilt; he’s likely recalling the last time they were alone in this ship, when she stunned him.

“I won’t do it again,” Rey says, quietly.

Ben nods. “I know. And I believe you. I’ll get over it, I promise.”

“You don’t--”

He interrupts her: “I _will.”_

“Okay,” Rey agrees.

They take-off after the other two ships, flying over the Lake Country, miles of green and blue below. They breach the atmosphere, and watch as the star skiff takes off in one direction, the yacht in the other, and then Rey sets their course and Ben engages the hyperdrive, and they disappear into the stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't realize that Rose's parents had died before the events of TLJ in canon while I was writing this; hence, the hasty return of Rose to the rest of the gang. But I think it still works.
> 
> Rose, Finn, and Ben: The Dream Team.
> 
> Everything about Fest and the Atrivis Sector Force, Mygeeto, Dantooine, Velmor, King Denid and his Alderaanian wife: all Old EU canon.
> 
> There is a missing scene where Ben and Leia talk about Rey. I just could not find a place to put it in the Ben POV chapter. Rest assured, they had a long talk.
> 
> That's it for Rey's POV. The last chapter of this story will focus on Ahch-To and Velmor, and executing the set-ups previously made in this story as pay-offs.


	11. Take Up Your Sword

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I love you."

Ahch-To looks exactly the same.

Ben had somehow thought it might look different, like the loss of its Jedi Master might have dimmed the planet. But it looks just as it did when they left. The oceans are still a magnificent dark blue, the hills a rolling, wild green, and the island crops up on the horizon exactly as it did the first time he and Rey made planetfall.

They land the  _ Falcon _ back on its spot at the base of the island, and clamber out.

A small murder of porgs fly out with them, their relived and excited  _ keroos _ echoing over the sea.

The twin suns of Ahch-To are both visible overhead, and Ben turns his gaze up, blinking at them. They are similarly hazy, similarly oddly dim, but there nonetheless. They aren’t following the same orbit, a distance between them, and Ben wonders if this means one of them moves faster than the other, if this is what causes the odd time pattern.

He supposes it doesn’t matter. Not really.

He follows Rey up the stone stairs, the wind softly blowing around them. It’s still and quiet, yet Ben can’t ignore the feeling that they are being watched.

The second they step foot in the village, they hear the rumble of a droid’s speedy wheels.

_ Where have you been?!  _ R2-D2 exclaims.

Rey smiles. “Sorry, Artoo. But we’re here now. We came back for you.”

_ About time! I’ve been all by myself, since-- _

He trails off. His head swivels around to look at Ben, and Ben gives him a somber nod.

“Luke is dead,” he confirms, quietly. “I’m sorry.”

R2-D2 emits a soft little whine. Rey lays her hand on his head in comfort.

“We’ll take you to Leia,” she says. “And Threepio. They both can’t wait to see you.”

_ Good, _ R2-D2 says, a hint of his familiar self-importance returning to the rapid fire of his beeps.

Rey’s demolished hut is unmissable in the village, though it has been touched since Ben and Rey left. Several of the stones have been moved, organized into piles based on size, and Ben wonders how long the island caretakers waited for Rey to do the work herself before they realized she’d left. Rey walks forward, standing in the middle of what remains of her hut, looking at it with a sad expression.

“I wish,” she starts, and stops.

Ben wishes for a lot of things. He thinks Rey does, too. He thinks many of their wishes are the same.

“Me too,” he says.

He helps her dig through the debris, brushing the rubble aside to unearth Rey’s things, her clothes and her boots, the food leftovers she’d stored on a few interior shelves, her hoarding instincts from her scavenger days kicking in. Ben tugs a few of the Jedi texts out from under rock, as R2-D2 approaches with the texts he’d found in Ben’s hut. Ben counts them.

“We’re missing one,” he says, frowning.

Rey pauses in the act of shoving a spare tunic into her rucksack. “Which one?”

“I think…” 

Ben sighs.

Rey frowns.

“The one on advanced Alter abilities,” he says, realization washing through him. He looks at Rey. “The text that would have instructed Luke on how to achieve Doppelganger.”

_ “Oh,” _ Rey mouths.

“Artoo,” Ben says, turning to the droid. “Where was Luke, the last time you saw him?”

R2-D2 looks up at the mountain.  _ He went up there. He told me he needed to do something. But he never came back. _

“The Temple?” Rey guesses, and Ben nods. 

“Looks like.”

* * *

They make their way further up the mountain.

R2-D2 waits below, his grumbles audible to Ben and Rey even from so far high up. He’d made them swear that they would not disappear like Luke, that when they returned they’d load him up with them to leave Ahch-To. Ben wonders how traumatized R2-D2 must be from Luke’s sudden disappearance and unexplained death.

They reach the slit in the cavern opening to the Temple, and walk inside.

It looks just the same, empty and undisturbed. Rey lingers near the mosaic of the Prime Jedi, gazing down at its image under the calm water. Ben walks further into the Temple, his eye catching on the sitting rock on the ledge. He walks closer, spotting the ancient text resting on top of the rock. An odd noise, the sound of ruffling, comes from a lower point.

Stuck on a bit of rock, fluttering in the wind, is Luke’s cloak.

He carefully pulls it free. Rey gasps behind him at the sight of it.

“Where’s… Where’s the body?” she asks. Ben imagines it is easier to say  _ the body _ than  _ Luke’s body. _

“There is no death,” Ben whispers, “There is the Force.” He straightens, walking back to Rey in the cavern, Luke’s cloak in his hand. “Sometimes, when a Jedi dies, if they are feeling peaceful and ready, their bodies can physically disappear. They become one with the Force. Quite literally. Luke saw it happen with Master Yoda.”

“Luke died feeling peaceful,” Rey murmurs. “Purposeful.”

Ben nods. “He did what he meant to do; he saved his sister, and her cause.” Ben looks at her. “For my mother, the Jedi are synonymous with  _ hope. _ She sought out Obi-Wan Kenobi in her darkest hour, and he allowed himself to be killed by Darth Vader so she, Luke, and my father could escape. It’s poetic in a way that Luke leaves her life having done the same thing. Hope, fulfilled; hope, restored.”

“Well said.”

Ben and Rey spin around at the new voice.

A man stands in the cavern, hands on his hips. He’s dressed in the kind of tunic and long robes emblematic of Jedi of the Old Republic, browns and tans and whites. He’s shorter than Ben, but taller than Rey, with neatly manicured chestnut brown hair and an elegant beard and moustache. He smiles at Ben, the sun twinkling in his light eyes. The haze of blue light that surrounds his form gives him away as a spirit; a visitor, in this First Temple of the Jedi.

“Hello, Ben,” the man says, in a Coruscanti accent.

Ben blinks. He’s never met this man before, never seen a picture of him anywhere, but there is something undeniably familiar about him.

The man picks up on Ben’s plight.

“It’s an honor,” he says, a hint of amusement in his voice, “to meet the child who was named after me, who has grown into being so much more of a Jedi than I ever was.”

Ben stares.

“Obi-Wan,” he breathes.

Here, and now; the Jedi who Ben has longed to meet, to speak with, to understand. Here, in the Temple on Ahch-To. Here, when Ben needs him most.

Obi-Wan nods, and walks closer, to stand before Ben. He peers up into Ben’s face.

“Yes, you do look a bit like my apprentice,” he comments. “The shape of your face, for one. And that  _ hair; _ I implored Anakin to cut it, to make an effort, but Anakin was always very choosy with which advice of mine he was willing to accept, and personal appearance was about the  _ last _ thing on that list for him.” Obi-Wan’s amusement fades a little, turning fonder. “But those eyes; those kind eyes could only come from Padmé Amidala.”

“You knew her.”

“Quite well,” Obi-Wan confirms. “And not well enough. I understood far too late what she and Anakin were to each other. It brings me quite a bit of comfort to know that I helped keep her children out of Vader’s grasp.” He pauses, and adds, “With her dying breaths, Padmé told me that she believed there was still good in Anakin. At the time, I found it… I thought it was a denial of a good woman who’d lost absolutely everything. It was only after Anakin killed the Emperor for Luke that I realized she was right. Of course she was; she was rarely wrong about anything.”

Obi-Wan runs a hand over his manicured beard.

“You lost your hope in Anakin,” Ben says, and it is not a question.

_ I am afraid I’ve lost my hope in Bail. _

“Oh, yes,” Obi-Wan agrees. “I was nearly killed when the order to execute the Jedi went out. Only Master Yoda and I survived the slaughter, returning to the Temple on Coruscant, unearthing the footage that revealed Anakin led the siege there, murdered younglings, burned it all to the ground. I begged Master Yoda to let me confront Palpatine; I could not bear the thought of trying to kill my apprentice. Anakin… was a brother to me.”

Ben swallows, hard.

He sees his future unraveling at Obi-Wan’s feet.

And Obi-Wan sees this too.

“It is a cruel fate,” Obi-Wan murmurs, “To confront your brother. I would not wish it on anyone. I am terribly sorry that this future awaits you, Ben.”

“How did you do it?”

Ben’s voice is small; almost childlike.

The horror, the fear; he feels like he is standing on a beach, facing the tsunami approaching him, the endless wave of grief that is his future.

“At great personal cost,” Obi-Wan says. “By understanding that it needed to be done, that Anakin would unhinge the galaxy in his quest for power. I knew that I was possibly the only person left who could defeat him. I placed my love for the galaxy over my love for Anakin. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.” Obi-Wan’s smile is wry. “All my years of meditation, of following the Jedi Code, and still; I failed to keep my attachment to my apprentice at bay. It nearly ruined me.”

“Is that a warning?” Ben wonders.

Obi-Wan shakes his head. “No, no. You’re different from me, Ben. You have spent your whole life loving others; your parents, your uncle, your friends, your brother, and this apprentice next to you now.” Ben feels Rey move next to him, but doesn’t look at her. Obi-Wan’s words do not need to be confirmed; they all know he is right.

“You have used your attachments, your passion,” Obi-Wan continues, “To make yourself a better Jedi. And you have proven you can survive losing your attachments, as you did six years ago. I cannot imagine that kind of loss, all you suffered, all you felt in that lonesome time; but you did it. You survived it. You carried that grief. You returned to fight again, to make yourself vulnerable again, with such bravado and fearlessness. As Luke noted: You are incorruptible. Even with all your love, all your passion, all your loss; you cannot be broken by it. It can only imbibe you with strength.”

Ben feels a tear slide down his face. He rubs it away impatiently.

“I failed to realize Anakin’s passion could be a strength, if nurtured correctly,” Obi-Wan admits. “The Jedi Order was too rigid then. We were not equipped to understand attachments or love, the value in it, the great joy. I’m hopeful your New Jedi Order will be better, will make us proud to see you carry on in our name.”

“We’ll try,” Ben says, looking at Rey. She nods, eyes flickering back to Obi-Wan.

“Of course,” Obi-Wan says, and turns to Rey. “Rey of Jakku. Rey of Nowhere. Rey the Jedi.”

“Master Kenobi,” Rey whispers, inclining her head. “I’ve heard your voice before. When I touched Luke’s old lightsaber, on Takodana…”

Ben has not heard this before. He stares, rapt.

“I’m not surprised,” Obi-Wan says. “That lightsaber was in my care far longer than it was in Anakin’s. What did I say?”

“You told me…  _ These are your first steps,” _ Rey says.

Obi-Wan nods. “Of course. The lightsaber calling to you was your first introduction to the Jedi.”

“I didn’t listen to you. I… I ran away.”

“A perfectly reasonable response,” Obi-Wan replies. “Besides; you ultimately made the choice to join the Jedi, did you not?”

“I did,” Rey says, with a small, satisfied smile.

Obi-Wan smiles back at her. “Then do not fret over your past choices. Embrace them, Rey. You are where you were not only  _ meant _ to be, but where you want to be. What a lucky, beautiful thing that is.”

Rey’s smile turns radiant. A burden seems to have lifted from her shoulders. She gives Obi-Wan a grateful nod.

“Thank you, Master.”

“Thank  _ you,” _ Obi-Wan says.

“Thank you for visiting with us,” Ben says, when Obi-Wan looks at him. “I always hoped you would, someday, when I was ready. And I guess I am?”

“Definitely,” Obi-Wan confirms. “Believe it or not, but I did not come here only to offer reassurances of your paths. I came here because someone needed to, and I felt I was the most fitting one, as Luke is not yet ready to return to the waking world.”

“Is he hurt?”

Obi-Wan shakes his head. “No, no. The journey through the Netherworld of the Force takes time.”

It’s clear Obi-Wan won’t say anything more on this topic, so Ben asks, “What else are you here for?”

Obi-Wan  _ grins. _

“Ben Organa-Solo,” he says, “Kneel, please.”

A bit confused, Ben does so, dropping to one knee in front of Obi-Wan. Rey backs up a bit, giving them space.

“As there are no senior Jedi alive to formally grant you this rank, I thought I should, as Master Yoda once did for Luke,” Obi-Wan says. He reaches forward, and places both his hands on the top of Ben’s head. Obi-Wan’s touch is warm, and kind; like the feeling of an afternoon sunbeam falling on his skin. “By the right of the Eternal Council, by the will of the Force, I dub thee, Ben Organa-Solo, Master of the New Jedi Order.”

_ Oh, _ Ben breathes.

Rey had told him that Luke had said he was a Jedi Master. But to hear it in the voice of Obi-Wan Kenobi, a legendary Master of the Old Jedi Order; it makes it  _ real. _ It feels like something Ben has achieved, not a title he receives simply by being the most senior of the two remaining Jedi.

Obi-Wan’s hands drop, and Ben stares up at him, wide eyed.

Obi-Wan grins.

“Rise, Master Jedi,” he says, and Ben does so, until it is Obi-Wan who is looking up at him.

“Thank you,” Ben whispers.

Obi-Wan shakes his head. “Thank  _ you, _ Ben. You’ve upheld the vows you took as a Knight, and then some. We are honored to count you among our ranks. There is no one else we could trust to lead and shape the Jedi. A thousand generations live in you now.” And Obi-Wan pauses, and nods at Rey. “And in you, as well. You’re never alone.”

“No one’s ever really gone,” Ben says.

“No one’s ever really gone,” Obi-Wan confirms. “You know where to find us.  _ All _ of us. Everyone who has passed on.”

“Including my father.”

Obi-Wan’s smile is somber. “He is one with the Force. And in the Force, you will always find him.”

“My brother…”

Ben trails off.

He isn’t sure what he is trying to say. What he wants to ask.

Obi-Wan takes pity on him.

“Ben,” he says, gently. “Consider that time and memory are the same thing. Consider that if for one moment, your brother is reaching for you, then that moment can exist immortally.”

Endless universes. Endless possibilities. Endless choices.

And on a smaller scale: at one point, Bail reached for Ben. And maybe he never stopped.

“I miss him so much,” Ben whispers.

“And you always will,” Obi-Wan replies, gently. “But you have so much to help you navigate your grief. And when you have no one, or nothing, you will always have yourself. Let that finally be enough for you, Ben.”

Ben has never felt like enough.

Never felt good enough.

He thinks it, now:  _ I am good enough. _

“And enough for you, Rey,” Obi-Wan adds, turning to Rey. “Be enough for yourself.”

“My own best thing,” Rey says, an echo of the palm reader’s words, one that rings in Rey’s voice, one that makes her smile, gives her contentment.

“It matters not where you come from,” Obi-Wan confirms. “It matters not who your family was, or is. All that matters is what you do in the present and the future. What choices you make. They belong to no one other than you.”

Obi-Wan looks between the two of them. “Master Yoda, Luke, myself, and all the Jedi who have come before you: You’ve grown beyond us. Guide yourselves. Trust your instincts. Do what you know to be right. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Lean on each other. Have faith.”

* * *

_ “Come with us,” Ben pleads, rain falling hard around them. He brushes his hair out of his face impatiently. “Luke, if my mother is that sick, she needs you--” _

_ “No,” Luke says, firmly. “I need to stay here.” _

_ “Kriff--” Ben bites his tongue before he can say something truly vulgar. “Is she not important enough?” _

_ Luke’s eyes flash just as lightning does overhead. “She’s everything, Ben. And that is why I must remain here.” _

_ Ben shakes his head. He’s done fighting with Luke. Done talking with Luke; after everything, after the lies, after the truth about what happened with Bail that night-- _

_ He turns, stalking off, hurrying to the  _ Falcon, _ already powered on and rumbling by Rey-- _

_ “Ben.” _

_ Ben groans, but turns around. _

_ “Ben,” Luke says, studying him, frowning in the dark light, the pouring rain. “Remember how to forgive. You must remember this.” _

_ Ben blinks. _

_ “Your ability to forgive is one of your best qualities,” Luke continues. “Remember that.” _

_ “Sure,” Ben says, irritated, thinking that this is a very strange, roundabout way for Luke to seek his forgiveness for what happened with Bail. The betrayal has cut Ben deeply; he wonders when he will stop being betrayed by those he loves. _

_ Luke nods. _

_ “See you around, kid,” Luke says, and walks away, disappearing into the dark rain. _

* * *

“Yes, Master,” Rey says, and Ben returns to himself, to this moment. The Temple, with Obi-Wan and Rey. Sunlight filtering in through the crack in the cavern. The mosaic of the Prime Jedi next to them.

Obi-Wan studies Ben, and Ben wonders if Obi-Wan is aware of the memory that just overwhelmed him.

“Thank you, Master,” Ben says, instead.

“Good luck, Master,” Obi-Wan says, eyes twinkling. To both Rey and Ben, he adds, “May the Force be with you.”

And he fades away.

Ben and Rey are left to stand in the cavern in silence.

Luke’s cloak is still clutched in Ben’s hand.

Ben looks at Rey, who is grinning, her hands clasped in front of her, her entire body practically vibrating with excitement.

“Did that really just happen?” Ben asks.

“I think so!” Rey exclaims, and she’s laughing, and he’s laughing, too, and he drops Luke’s cloak carelessly to grab Rey, to pick her up in his arms. She clutches his shoulders, wrapping her arms around him, laughing hysterically, with joy and wonder. 

They stand on the spot, swaying, laughing, exhilarated, alive.

The future of the Jedi, standing in the Temple of the past.

* * *

Ben carried R2-D2 up the island when they first arrived on Ahch-To, back when he was only a sorrowful Knight who didn’t understand what had happened to his Master or his brother, and Rey was a would-be apprentice searching for knowledge and inner peace.

Now, they are so much more.

Now, Ben is a Jedi Master, the head of the New Jedi Order.

Now, Rey is his apprentice, well on her way to Knighthood.

They are infinitely surer than they’d been when they first stepped foot on Ahch-To. They have both learned so much, and lost so much, and gained more.

Now, it is Rey who carries R2-D2 down the mountain.

She doesn’t drop him once.

* * *

The flight to Velmor takes several days.

Rey and R2-D2 go around the  _ Falcon, _ fixing up everything they can. Rey opens a hatch next to the dejarik board and discovers newborn porgs, and the ship is flooded with their high-pitched  _ keroos! _ for hours, even after the mother porg returns to the nest, chattering away at Rey for bothering her chicks.

“I thought we left them all on Ahch-To,” Rey says, two hours into the porg calls.

Ben shrugs. “The  _ Falcon’s  _ got insulation falling out of every crevice. I imagine it makes for good nesting fabric. We’ll just have to be careful not to let them out on Velmor, if we can avoid it.”

Ben sends a few messages, checking in with the others. Iphigenia, Ben learned, was studying engineering at the University of Theed, and had installed a patch on the  _ Falcon _ that would hopefully prevent the First Order from splicing into her communications. Ben feels like a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders; not being able to communicate with his mother, and his friends, had been something he was dreading.

_ Made it to Fest, _ Finn writes in a message they’d received the night before, while Ben and Rey had been asleep.  _ Poe and Rose can’t stand the cold. Wusses. BB-8 and I finally have something in common, here, laughing at them. Leia was right, she does have lots of friends here, and even more who know of her. Her name carries weight. We had a meeting with a former Alliance Intelligence Officer who’s going to organize a possible squad for us in the Sector. We’re headed to Mygeeto in the morning, which is apparently just as cold as Fest. Poe and Rose aren’t thrilled. Ha. Hope all is well, see you both soon. _

From Chewbacca:  _ Leia decided to go to Bespin first. I think she felt badly for waiting so long to tell Lando about Han, even though it’s not her fault it’s taken this long. Lando says hello, and sends his sympathy for your loss; for the loss of Luke, too. He laughed long and hard when Leia told him you are now the Head of the Jedi Order. He said Han once said Luke had “delusions of grandeur” for thinking himself a Knight, and that it was about time the galaxy came back to bite Han in the ass. Even your mother laughed at that one. Lando is going to set up a few meetings on Bespin and in the neighboring sectors. He was on holiday to Empress Teta while we were on Crait and feels terrible that he missed Leia’s call. He told Leia he is “all in” with the Resistance. Expect to see him soon. We’re going to Eriadu next. We miss you, Ben  _ Kkata  _ and Rey  _ Jow.

Ben sends a message to them all, on behalf of himself, Rey, and R2-D2:

_ Artoo was very pleased to see us. I think he might be somewhat traumatized by Luke’s abrupt disappearance. He’s looking forward to seeing Threepio and Mom, and wants to meet BB-8. Rey and I recovered the Jedi texts from Ahch-To, along with the rest of our things, and Luke’s as well. Luke’s body was not here; he became one with the Force, as anticipated. Rey and I were visited by a Force spirit: Obi-Wan Kenobi. For those who don’t know who he was, I’ll explain later. Mom: He was wonderful. He offered us the blessing of the Old Jedi Order. He formally made me a Master. _

Ben pauses; he doesn’t know how to express his joy, his wonder, his enormous relief. He decides to push on without explaining it.

_ We’ll make planetfall on Velmor in a couple days, and report back then. Much love, Ben & Rey (and Artoo, even if he won’t say it). _

He transmits the message to the two Naboo ships.

* * *

Rey begins to study on how to build a lightsaber.

“I think an emitter matrix will be the hardest component to find,” she muses. “A handgrip and power cell shouldn’t be too hard. The  _ Falcon’s _ got a couple spare power cells that should do the trick.”

“Feel free to poke around and take what you need,” Ben says.

She does so, diving into the bowels of the ship, collecting bits of metal into a small pile that she sets out on the dejarik table. Ben and R2-D2 help as well, following Rey’s descriptions of the components she’s looking for. Ben offers advice every now and then, but is content to sit back and let Rey lead this mission. It’s her lightsaber; her rite as an apprentice.

“Have you thought about the design at all?” he asks.

Rey pauses. “Do I not have to make one like Luke’s?”

“Not if you don’t want to,” Ben replies. “There are lots of different varieties. Design the one that feels right to you.”

He shows her what he’s talking about, opening a few texts to the correct pages. Rey pores over these, taking notes on a spare bit of paper. Her handwriting is improving the more she practices.

“I don’t like the curved-hilt lightsaber,” Rey decides, after reading about the once-popular design.

“And why is that?”

“It would keep me in Form II, and I want more flexibility,” Rey says, and Ben nods, smiling.

He and Bail had briefly considered the curved-hilt before coming to the same conclusion as Rey.

“I don’t see anything about your lightsaber design,” Rey says, frowning a little.

Ben shrugs. “It was in one of the oldest texts Luke had; it might not have survived the burning of the Temple.” Ben feels an uneasy pang at the loss of history. “The crossguard was a very ancient design, most popular with duelists, which Bail and I found was most desirable to us, and our goals as Jedi. The two short blades on the side allow one to block and catch an opponent’s blade, which we found intriguing, particularly as we sparred and fought most often with the other, and it wouldn’t do to create an advantage for just one of us.”

It is so easy, Ben knows, for him to slip back into that casual royal  _ We. _

He can’t help it.

_ You and me. _

Rey decides the crossguard design is not for her. (“It doesn’t feel right,” she admits, which Ben is quick to assure her is fine and expected.) She also declines the dual-phase lightsaber and the lightclub. She hesitates over the lightsaber pike, intrigued by its similarity to her staff.

“I don’t like the shorter blade, though,” she decides.

She picks apart the Skywalker lightsaber, salvaging bits and pieces. 

“I can probably rebuild the emitter matrix, actually,” she muses.

She holds the two halves of the broken crystal in her hands, eyes closed, seemingly weighing them.

But Ben knows she’s meditating.

He watches, leaning against the doorway, not daring to interrupt her.

The vision quest, the meditation involved in building and perfecting your blade, is for the creator alone. He has no doubts that Rey will get there on her own.

* * *

There is time, now, for them.

For them to be Ben and Rey.

They still switch off on cooking meals, though this frequently ends up with the both of them in the ship’s tiny galley, with Rey watching everything Ben does, asking him questions about various ingredients and spices. When Rey cooks, Ben finds himself leaning over her, wanting to stay close, luxuriating in Rey’s clear happiness about being near so much food. She will never get over her years of starvation, Ben knows. She will never not be filled with wonder at knowing she has enough to eat. He wants to make sure she never goes hungry again.

They play dejarik, a new edge to it now that they know they are poised to enter an actual war. While they often take it seriously, every now and then they get silly and ambitious, usually later in the evening. Rey names every single monster, teaching the names to Ben, refusing to listen to him refer to them by their species and not the names. And Ben indulges her, because he loves to see her smile.

He is twenty-five years old, and he’s in love.

_ I love you, _ he thinks, all the time.  _ I love your smile. I love your light. I love the way you look at me. I love the way you laugh. I love how you curl up next to me when you sleep. I love how you don’t hesitate to ask me anything. I love how you take care of the  _ Falcon.  _ I love how you scowl at the porgs. I love how you pull my hair during sex. I love how you strategize in dejarik. I love how hard you study. I love how you know exactly how to co-pilot when I fly, without needing to ask, without me needing to ask. I love how you hold me when I cry, and I love how you encourage me to, and I love how unashamed you are to cry. _

_ I love, I love, I love. _

_ I am so in love. _

He watches her, one morning, as she studies the nav computer, their path to Velmor.

She looks at him.

Stars are reflected in her big eyes.

Maybe she reads his thoughts, or maybe she understands the enraptured look on his face, or maybe she’s decided she’s ready.

It doesn’t matter.

She says, “I love you.”

As if it doesn’t cost her anything to say it.

* * *

Velmor beckons, a terrestrial planet in the Mid Rim, emerging from deep space as a green thing.

“More green,” Rey whispers, reverent, when Velmor appears in front of them.

“Forests and grasslands,” Ben confirms. “Plus oceans and a couple arctic polar regions. And the mountains, the Tor Velmoc mountains. I think it was the mountains and the polar regions that really brought the Alderaanians here.”

“Alderaan had mountains?”

Ben nods. “Yes.”

When he was a child, Leia often told him and Bail about Alderaan, about its nature, its shape, the things she loved about it. She spoke with an ever-present melancholy, but spoke nonetheless, determined to teach her sons about her homeworld, the planet that should have been their homeworld as well, had annihilation not occurred. The planet that Bail Organa-Solo, older than Ben by just minutes, would have one day ruled, succeeding his mother’s reign.

Ben has spent the last few hours of their flight dredging up all his memories of Leia’s lessons on Alderaan, on culture and society, on expectations and norms, knowing he is about to face the biggest population of Alderaanians outside New Alderaan.

He’s nervous.

At least he’ll look the part of an Alderaanian prince.

The Naberries had been all too eager to foist upon Ben and Rey clothes worthy of an audience with a King. The morning of their arrival, Ben dresses in steel gray trousers and a white shirt, a gray jacket and black boots, clothes Leia had deemed to be close to something an Alderaanian royal would wear. He feels mostly comfortable, though he’s extremely aware of how much these new clothes cost, and how they are nothing he’d normally wear. He is too much of his father’s son, a wayward spacer.

Rey is even more outside her comfort zone.

She’s wearing something that Amani had described as a “battle dress,” though it technically isn’t a dress. Rey is still wearing trousers (he suspects she’d insisted on it) but has a long, deep red robe partially covering them, belted at the waist, lines of gold thread accenting the shape and color. She does her hair up in a single plain bun, as she has as of late. On her belt, she hangs the NN-14 blaster he’d gifted to her on Takodana, something that feels like it happened a lifetime ago.

“I miss having a lightsaber,” Rey admits, hands fluttering at her sides. “Would it be bad if I took my staff?”

“I think the Velmorians would be a bit uneasy,” Ben says, apologetically. He’s carrying his lightsaber, because he can’t imagine not doing so, and a lightsaber is much more subtle.

Rey sighs, but nods, acquiescing to his opinion.

She’s getting good at that, Ben thinks. About knowing when to fight him and when to leave things alone.

“I’m nervous,” Rey admits. “Meeting with royals… I never imagined doing this.”

And Ben knows how true this is. He’s at least spent his life knowing what royalty is like, understanding how monarchies work. But Rey, Rey of Nowhere, Rey the feral desert child, Rey who grew up starving in a desert wasteland ruled by the people who controlled the water; this is probably more alien to her than just about anything else.

“You don’t have to come with me for this meeting,” he offers. “I can do it alone, if you don’t want to. You can wait--”

“No.”

She raises her chin, meeting his gaze steadily.

“I want to go with you,” she says, firmly. “I want to support you. We’re in this together.”

Her loyalty, her devotion to him, even as she faces a brand new world, a whole new society, unknown and foreign and alien: it is so much. Ben swallows, hard.

“You’ll be great,” Ben says, warmly. “Stay close to me. If you act like you should be there, then everyone else will believe you should be. Really, it’s all just a charade.”

Rey looks doubtful, but takes a deep breath, rolling her shoulders in apparent preparation.

They land in Den Velmor, the capital city.

“Wow,” Rey breathes.

The city is beautiful, contained and not sprawling. Buildings of dark stone stand tall on all sides, the roads neatly paved in cobblestone. Velmor’s main export is its fine arts, and the capital is lushly decorated, gorgeous and complicated mosaic art covering every surface. Velmstone is the other popular export, and the buildings have been outfitted with it, so each building shines in the bright sunlight, silver rays refracting in all directions. The sky is a rich dark blue, and Ben can see the three moons of Velmor above them.

They land the  _ Millennium Falcon _ in the city’s main spaceport, and disembark.

A small gathering of spaceport attendees are there to greet them.

“Greetings,” a man at the head of the group says. “Our scanners indicate that this is the  _ Millennium Falcon.” _

Ben nods. “This ship has been here before.”

“Yes,” the man confirms. “Who are you?”

Ben straightens, mirroring Leia’s stance when she approached the manor house on Varykino, copying the way she would walk into meeting rooms as Minister of Defense for the New Republic. Standing as he would if he’d spent his whole life acting as a prince of Alderaan.

“My name is Ben Organa-Solo,” he says, now. “I’m the grandson of Breha Organa, the last Queen of Alderaan, and the son of her daughter, Princess Leia Organa, guardian of Alderaanian society and culture. I seek an audience with King Denid on her behalf.”

To his amazement, and quiet relief, all of the attendees in the room grasp what this means.

They  _ bow _ to him.

“Welcome to Velmor, Your Highness,” the man at the front of the group says.

* * *

Ben and Rey are immediately granted a visit with King Denid and his wife, consort Lady Loren, formerly of Alderaan.

“His Majesty and Lady are most pleased to meet you,” the head of the royal household servants tells Ben, a woman named Shaneen, as she leads him and Rey through the halls of the palace. It is studded in Velmstone like the rest of the city, glowing and opaque. The walls are lined with ornate and expensive art, paintings done in oils and pastels. Music is coming from some unknown corner, a soft soundtrack to their steps echoing on the marble floor.

“I’m eager to meet them,” Ben says, as he is, mostly, underneath his anxiety.

Almost unconsciously, he stretches his left hand out, and without needing him to say anything, Rey takes it. She squeezes his hand, offering her unspoken support.

A couple guards are posted at the large doors ahead of them, and without being prompted, they pull the doors open, revealing a massive throne room. It is just as opulent as the palace they’ve walked through, a sheet of sunlight falling onto the two majestic chairs at the back of the room, chairs that are currently empty. Their occupants are standing instead, watching as Shaneen, Ben, and Rey approach.

“Your Majesties,” Shaneen says. “Please welcome the Crown Prince of Alderaan, Ben Organa-Solo, and his partner, Rey.”

_ Partner _ had seemed like the most official title he could offer Rey, and the one she’d be most likely to accept.

In front of the royals of Velmor now, Ben bows, Rey copying his movements.

“Welcome to Velmor,” King Denid declares. He’s close to Leia’s age, Ben guesses, gray sprinkled in his dark hair and beard, a gold crown on his head, wearing heavy emerald robes that brush the ground as he moves. He walks to Ben, and takes his hand.

“You take after your lovely mother,” Denid says, and Ben smiles at the clear compliment.

“Thank you,” Ben replies. “And thank you for agreeing to meet with us so spontaneously.”

“My pleasure,” Denid says, brightly. “When we received the news here on Velmor that Princess Leia had given birth to twin sons, my Alderaanian subjects celebrated in the streets. What a marvel it is to host you now.”

Ben is truly at a loss for words, the thought of anyone besides his immediate family  _ celebrating _ his birth quite surprising him.

He is rescued by Loren, who neatly pushes her husband aside, to take Ben’s hand. She’s gorgeous, with warm brown skin and dark hair, a streak of brilliant white curled into it.

“It is an honor,” she says, and she speaks in that odd accent Ben has only ever heard from Leia, and he realizes he is hearing Alderaan, the echoes of its people, in her voice. “Queen Breha was so beloved to her people, and the few survivors that were not home when Alderaan was lost have mourned her death for decades, ever since. Princess Leia’s survival and continued devotion to our home has sustained our hope that Alderaan may have a future, as long as the House of Organa pledges to keep its memory known. Welcome, welcome, Your Highness.”

Leia, Ben thinks,  _ really _ owes him after this one.

“I’m glad to be here, and apologize it’s taken me so long,” Ben says. “My mother has described Velmor to me, but she didn’t prepare me for how beautiful and welcoming it is. She sends her deepest regrets that she was unable to join me today; I hope to share with you exactly why I am here, and why she was unable to come.”

“Please do,” Denid says, warmly.

“First,” Ben says, and he turns, nodding at Rey, who steps up next to him. Minute trembles are shaking through her frame, and Ben puts a hand on her back, hoping his warmth might offer her some comfort now. “This is my partner, Rey.”

“Hello,” Rey says, inclining her head, as Denid takes her hand. “Thank you for agreeing to meet with us.”

“A Core Worlds accent,” Denid marvels. “From where do you come to us?”

Rey blinks.

Ben wonders how, in all the time he’s spent listening to and speaking with Rey, he’s never put together she has a Core Worlds accent.

An accent she could not have cultivated on Jakku.

An accent she might have copied from the people she was with as a child, the family she cannot remember.

“I… I’m not sure,” Rey says, stumbling a bit. “I’m an orphan. I wasn’t raised in the Core Worlds.”

“Intriguing,” Loren says. “What a fantastic and unique history you must have. We would love to hear it.”

Rey nods, eyes wide.

“Please,” Denid says, gesturing to the magnificent banquet hall to his left. “Join us for lunch.”

* * *

It is surprisingly, or not so surprisingly, easy to convince Denid and Velmor to align with the Resistance.

“I owe my crown to Leia Organa,” Denid says, smoothly, over a delicious meal of roasted duck coated in a zesty sauce. “She helped me recover my throne. Anything I can do to help her, I will of course do without hesitation.”

“Imperial tyranny destroyed Alderaan,” Loren adds. It’s obvious to Ben that the news of the Hosnian System’s annihilation has shaken her; he can’t imagine the kind of trauma it has resurfaced. “Anything we can do to spare another world from that fate must be done. Of course.”

Denid and Loren are eager to hear everything Ben has to tell them about Leia. This is a bit difficult for Ben, as he spent six years without any contact with her, and the time since their reunion has largely been spent apart as well. But his affection is real when he talks about her, and he thinks that is enough.

He tells them that Bail is dead.

Loren, naturally, takes the news hard. 

“My heart weeps for your loss,” she tells Ben, her brown eyes wide in grief. “I shall tell the people. Please know that we mourn alongside you and your mother.”

Ben does not have to fake his own sorrow.

To see Loren’s obvious grief over Bail’s supposed death causes a swelling pain in him; it is a ferocious reminder of how much Bail is loved, not just by his family, but by the remaining Alderaanian people who adored the grandfather he was named after, who would have welcomed Bail as their ruler.

_ How could you choose the Dark? _ Ben wonders.  _ When there has always been so much in the Light for you? _

Ben will never understand it.

But he knows now that even if it wasn’t good enough for Bail--if  _ Ben _ wasn’t enough for Bail--that it isn’t Ben’s fault.

It is The Voice, and the Dark, and the history of Vader.

But most of all: It is Bail’s choice.

The twins have parted irrevocably.

Somewhere in the galaxy, Bail is being briefed by advisors, and preparing his next move to hunt down the Resistance, to expand his Empire.

Here, in the galaxy, Ben is doing everything he can to prevent that from happening. Doing everything he can to save the people he loves.

And that includes the Alderaanian people who have kept his family’s memory alive.

* * *

Denid and Loren insist that Ben and Rey stay the night, a request they are quick to accept. Velmor is stunning, and they are both eager to explore it a bit. They head out into the capital city for an evening walk.

With the sun setting, Velmor glows in silver light. Ben and Rey stroll, hand in hand, taking it all in.

“Why didn’t Leia immigrate here?” Rey wonders. “If so many Alderaanians did?”

“Because the New Republic wasn’t here,” Ben replies. “When the Empire fell and the New Republic rose, she was one of its early architects. They based much of it off of the design of the Old Republic, though the capital was established on Hosnian Prime rather than Coruscant.”

Rey frowns. “Why is that?”

Ben’s smile is wry. “A new beginning.”

They reach the outskirts of the city. Den Velmor is surrounded on all sides by mountains, forming a natural barrier that protects the city from any foreign attack. Ben and Rey pause, just past the city gates, peering up at the mountains that stretch high above them.

“We should head back,” Ben says. “It’ll get dark soon, and we don’t want to…”

He trails off, as Rey has taken a few steps forward, walking towards the mountains.

“Rey?” Ben calls.

She turns around, and there is something pensive in her face, something confusing, something uncertain.

“Can you feel that?” she asks.

Ben shakes his head.

Rey continues to walk forward, stepping onto the narrow path between two mountains, a small crevasse so narrow only one person can walk at a time. Ben follows her in, a few steps behind her, absolutely bewildered as to what Rey is sensing, what she is looking for in all the rock.

After about ten minutes, the crevasse widens, revealing a dark cave. Rey pauses in front of it, staring into the darkness.

“In there,” she breathes.

“Is what, exactly?” Ben asks.

“Something… calling me.”

A chill runs through Ben. “Something Dark?”

She shakes her head. “No. Just… something that’s mine.”

Still utterly bewildered but refusing to prevent Rey from reaching whatever she thinks is beckoning her, Ben powers on his lightsaber to give them light. The dark blue beam illuminates the cave, revealing only more darkness. Rey walks forward anyway, Ben at her side, following her into the dark.

Water drips shallowly around them, but as far as Ben can tell, there is nothing remarkable, nothing interesting about the black stone of the mountain. Rey’s eyes sweep side to side, studying the solid walls, the dirt under their feet, her face cast blue in the light of his sword.

They walk further into the dark. They duck under low ceilings, slip into nearly invisible cracks, clamber down tight passageways. Rey is silent the whole time, her eyes narrowed, her hands brushing every surface.

Just when Ben is getting truly antsy, when he is ready to stop Rey and insist they turn back, Rey freezes on the spot.

He can barely see her in the gloom, the setting sunlight they’d entered the cave in no longer visible behind them.

“Rey?” Ben prompts.

Rey is staring at the plain cave wall. As he watches, she reaches forward, planting her palms on the stone. Her eyes are wide. She nods at something, and Ben knows it is not to him.

“Can I borrow your sword for a minute?” she asks.

Nonplussed, Ben passes it to her.

Rey lifts his lightsaber, and thrusts forward, stabbing it into the rock.

_ “Rey!” _ Ben exclaims, but Rey yanks his sword back out, before diving back in with the same gusto. He stares, jaw dropped, as she continues to carve out the rock wall with his blade, cutting in a circle around what seems to Ben to be an unremarkable space set in the rock. Her face is tight with concentration, and Ben realizes that she seems to be cutting  _ around _ something. Trying to unearth some object from the wall itself.

She keeps at it for a minute, tendrils of sweat blossoming on her pale skin, before the rock eventually crumbles, the circle of stone falling out of the wall to land at Rey’s feet with a dull thunk.

And something in the dark stone is glowing.

Rey hands Ben his lightsaber, and he takes it in numb fingers.

She picks up the broken rock, brushing grains of stone and dirt aside, wiggling her fingers, and tugging something free.

A yellow crystal rests in her dirty palm.

They stare at it.

“This is mine,” Rey says, something awed in her voice. “I felt it, the second we left the city. It called me.”

The crystal is only about the length of Rey’s palm, thin in width, but a beautiful, light yellow color. Ben brushes his fingers over it.

“It must be Velmorite,” he says.

Rey frowns. “Different from Velmstone?”

“Velmstone is a gem,” Ben says. “Velmorite is a crystal. It’s quite rare, difficult to mine.” He looks up at Rey. “It’s capable of powering a lightsaber.”

“Oh,” Rey breathes.

Ben grins. “I think it’s time you built your lightsaber.”

How fitting it is, Ben thinks, that the scavenger from Jakku finds her focusing crystal by searching in something left abandoned as being home to nothing. How fitting, that the components of her lightsaber have been scavenged from around the  _ Millennium Falcon _ and the remnants of the Skywalker lightsaber she learned to fight with.

The crystal in Rey’s palm glows.

Her eyes turn liquid gold in its light.

* * *

They return to the  _ Falcon, _ so Rey can gather together all the items she’s been collecting to build her lightsaber with. She moves quickly, with clear purpose, and Ben does as he is asked, putting the items in a knapsack.

_ What do you mean, we aren’t leaving yet? _ R2-D2 demands.  _ You said we’d go to Leia after this. _

“I know,” Ben agrees. Rey is a blur of movement in front of them, muttering to herself, handing Ben items, bits of metal and wire, without comment. “Something’s come up.”

_ Some Jedi thing, I assume. _

Ben laughs. “Yes, Artoo. Some Jedi thing.”

_ You are all so inconvenient, _ R2-D2 complains.

“Thank you for your patience,” Ben says, and R2-D2 issues a noise in binary Ben would translate as  _ Pshaw! _

Rey finally stops her frantic movements around the  _ Falcon. _

“I still don’t have a hilt,” she says, frowning deeply. “I think I’ve got everything else, but I don’t have a hilt.”

“Tomorrow morning, we can go to the market,” Ben says, “And see if we can find something there. Give yourself some  _ time, _ Rey. You’ll have your lightsaber built soon. For now, let’s go back to the palace and get some sleep.”

Rey groans, scowling, running a hand through her hair.

“I can  _ see _ it, Ben,” she says, frustrated. “I can  _ feel _ it, the shape of it in my hand, like it’s always been there, like I’ve--”

She breaks off.

Ben and R2-D2 stare at her.

Slowly, she walks forward, to where her staff is leaning against the wall of the  _ Falcon. _

Rey picks it up.

She twirls it in her hand, testing the weight, the familiar movement of it. Ben is reminded of the first time he and Rey sparred, on Takodana, under the starlight, when he looked at her brilliant light, her wide smile, her determination, and felt something like hope again, after being utterly deprived of it for so long.

He feels the same thing now.

He starts to smile.

“Actually,” Rey says, and looks up at him.

Her smile is wider than it even was then.

“I think I have everything I need,” she whispers.

* * *

They don’t end up returning to the palace for the night.

Instead, Ben flies them out of the city, above the mountains, to the Great Forest of Lorac. The trees are massive, stretching up to the midnight black sky. He lands them in an empty field, and follows Rey out of the ship. She’s carrying her staff in one hand, the bag of components and parts in her other hand. 

She walks into the field before pausing, realizing Ben is not following.

“Force-aligning your crystal is a solitary process,” he explains, standing on the entry ramp of the  _ Falcon, _ looking down at Rey on the grass, in the field lit only by the large moon overhead. They are both still in their Naboo clothes, a sense of formality and ceremony heightened by this attire. “It requires absolute concentration; I was alone in a cave on Ilum when I made mine. You’ll embark on your own vision quest; you may see glimpses of your future as you do so.”

Foreboding darkens Rey’s face. “A Force vision?”

“Essentially,” Ben says. “Except from what I’ve read, the glimpses of your future you see during this ritual typically come true. You leave yourself so exposed to the Force, and for so long, during this ritual that you’re completely open to clarity.”

Rey’s eyes widen.

“What did you see?” she asks.

Ben shakes his head. “Something that has already come to pass, and something that was ultimately not too consequential.”

He saw his brother carrying a red lightsaber.

At the time, Ben was still caught up in his terror that he was witnessing his future, seeing himself as Kylo Ren.

He knows, now, that while some of those visions were  _ him, _ in others, it was Bail.

Now, it will always be Bail. 

“But whatever the Force shows you is for you, and you alone,” Ben continues. “Don’t feel like you have to tell me.”

He sees her hesitation, sees her weighing on whether she should fight him on this, before deciding to leave it be. Ben is glad for it.

“Do you have the mantra memorized?” Ben asks.

Rey nods, seemingly mute.

“Okay,” Ben says. “I’ll wait inside. Remember: take your time. Creating a lightsaber is one of the most personal things you will ever do as a Jedi. Trust the Force, but yourself as well. Your lightsaber represents a unification of the Force and you. Embrace it.”

Rey swallows, hard, but nods.

“May the Force be with you, Rey,” Ben says, and offers her a warm smile.

“Thanks,” she says.

She turns to go, and he calls, “Rey?”

She pauses, looking at him.

His smile widens. “Don’t be afraid.”

Rey nods, her smile rising to meet his. 

“Don’t be afraid,” she echoes.

He watches as she turns, marching into the field, her back straight.

He watches her until he can no longer see her, and only then does he walk back inside the  _ Falcon. _

R2-D2 stares up at him, when Ben sits down on the bench in the main hold.

_ Well? _ The droid asks.  _ Now what? _

“Now,” Ben replies, tipping his head back, and closing his eyes. “We wait.”

* * *

_ The crystal is the heart of the blade. _

_ The heart is the crystal of the Jedi. _

_ The Jedi is the crystal of the Force. _

_ The Force is the blade of the heart. _

_ All are intertwined: the crystal, the blade, the Jedi. _

_ We are one. _

* * *

He opens his eyes.

Early dawn light sneaks in through the windows of the  _ Falcon. _ Ben rubs his eyes, sitting up, wincing a little at the crick in his neck as he does so. R2-D2 is powered off in the corner, and at first, Ben has no idea what has woken him.

And then he remembers where he is, and why.

He gets to his feet, hurrying out of the  _ Falcon. _

He’d taken his jacket off at some point in the night, and he shivers a little as he walks across the field, morning dew brushing his boots. The rising sun is beautiful, casting the world in brilliant orange light. Ben walks through the trampled grass, following Rey’s steps.

“Rey?” he calls.

He feels her light before he sees her, that starlight that is as anchoring and guiding to him as a charted star is to a pilot lost in deep space. She’s sitting in a small meadow, surrounded by wildflowers on all sides, her hair lanky, having fallen out of the neat bun she’d put it in, her nice clothes wrinkled.

But her smile is radiant.

She gets to her feet, and stretches both her hands out to him, a cylindrical, straight hilt in her palms.

He easily recognizes the hilt as pieces of her staff, sees how she’s created a rotating gear-like activation matrix rather than the standard switch. He takes the hilt from her, turning it around in his hands, tracing the shape of her staff with his fingers. And then he turns the switch.

A blade of thin, light green erupts from the hilt.

He looks at her.

She jerks her chin at the hilt, towards the other end of it. “Now do the other one.”

A second rotating gear on the other end of the hilt reveals a second, identical beam of thin green light.

“A dual-bladed lightsaber,” Ben says, grinning.

“I know it was more commonly seen as a Sith weapon,” Rey says, “But it’s not inherently evil or anything. And the design is so similar to my staff; it felt only right that, since I was taking my staff apart, this weapon and item I’ve relied on for so much of my life, that’s saved me more times than I can count, that I recreate my lightsaber in its image.”

Ben nods. “Yes, I see. But why is it green? The crystal was yellow.”

“The Velmorite crystal is in the center,” Rey says, stepping forward, and tapping the bulbous center of the dual-bladed hilt. “It’s stabilizing the other two crystals that power it.” At Ben’s look, she confirms, “The Skywalker lightsaber called to me, and flew to my hand when I asked it to. It was my introduction to the Jedi, to this life I’ve chosen. I took the broken halves of Luke’s lightsaber and turned them into something new again. Something I can carry.”

“Blue and yellow to make green,” Ben breathes in understanding.

“Green,” Rey confirms. “My favorite color.”

Green, like Takodana, Ahch-To, and Naboo. Green, like everything that is lush and fresh in the galaxy. Green, like everything that the wasteland of Jakku is not. Green, like life and wonder and goodness that Rey has longed for.

Green, to surround and protect Rey through the battles ahead.

“It’s perfect,” Ben says, and Rey nods, tired but clearly pleased.

Her expression changes then, eyes flickering down, and back up to him.

“Ben,” she murmurs. “Ben, I really want to talk about what I saw during my vision quest. I need… I need guidance on it.”

He studies her face. Her eyes are wide, desperate, beseeching. She is so clearly afraid. She has seen something that, even in this joyous moment, has shaken her. He can only think of one thing that would cause this reaction in Rey.

_ Oh, Rey. _

“There is no death,” Ben whispers. “There is the Force.”

_ I am so sorry you watched me die, _ he thinks. _ I am so sorry that you will have to watch it happen again, one day. _

Rey swallows. “Can’t I… Can’t I  _ tell--” _

“Meditate on it,” Ben says, gently. “Seek revelation and knowledge in the Force. But don’t dwell on it. What will happen, will happen, and we will meet it when it does.”

He knows him telling her not to worry about it won’t make her do so. But Rey has learned so much about the Force, about the Jedi, about witnessing the future and reacting to it, about making choices to create or prevent that future, that she does not argue with him on it now.

This cements the decision he made days ago.

Ben looks at her. “Well, it was about time you made your lightsaber.”

Rey frowns. “What do you mean? You told me to take my time with this--”

“Yes, and I meant it. I’m glad you took your time making your lightsaber. I mean that I’ve been waiting for a while now to make you a Knight.”

Rey stares at him.

Ben smiles. “And you needed to make your own lightsaber before I could do that.”

“But…” She starts, and stops. “But my Trials, I haven’t taken the Trials!”

“Rey,” Ben says, gently. “You already have.”

She only stares at him more.

“I already told you that you passed your Trial of Skill,” Ben says, “When you defeated my brother on Ilum. You clearly demonstrated your competence with a lightsaber then. And you passed your Trial of Courage when you faced Snoke alone, even after realizing that my brother was not going to stand beside you, at least not at first. You did it anyway. You forced Snoke to realize that you have… What was it he said? A ‘spirit of a Jedi’?”

Rey nods, mute.

The second she had described that moment to Ben, he knew what it meant.

“You passed your Trial of Flesh when you decided to leave me in the  _ Falcon,” _ Ben says, and he sees the sorrow darken Rey’s face, so he hurries to add, “The Trial of Flesh recognizes a Jedi’s ability to overcome great pain. And Rey; you’ve always been left behind, and I know how desperate you are to keep your family close, and I… I understand what I am to you, not just as your teacher, but as your partner, your lover, one of your first ever friends. I know what it cost you. And it goes to show how you allowed yourself to give me up, to lose me, in the name of doing what you thought was right. Putting the way of the Jedi before even me, before your attachments.”

Tears are sliding down Rey’s face.

“You passed your Trial of Spirit when you faced your inner darkness and walked away from it,” Ben says. “When Bail offered you his hand on Snoke’s dreadnought, and you knew immediately you couldn’t take it. You chose to stay in the Light. You chose to embrace yourself as your own best thing. The Trial of Spirit is also known as ‘Facing the Mirror’, and you did that, quite literally, in the cave under the island. The Dark offered you the ability to transcend your loneliness and your suffering, and you declined it, and chose to live and survive with it instead. A formidable choice that demands respect.”

Ben grins.

“And you passed the Trial of Insight only yesterday, without knowing what it was,” Ben says. “When you walked into the mountain to find your crystal. I didn’t sense it. I didn’t sense anything. I saw only the plain mountain and the cave, and didn’t realize there was anything of value in there. The Trial of Insight weighs a Jedi’s ability to see through distractions and find the truth. Locating a crystal that called to you in an unremarkable mountain is an excellent example of the Trial, one I would never have thought to set, but one you successfully took on anyway.”

Rey has a hand pressed to her face, her other arm wrapped tightly around herself.

“Rey,” Ben says, and he’s still grinning, and Rey is no longer the only one with tears on their face. “Kneel, please.”

She does so, shakily dropping to one knee in the dew-studded grass.

Holding Rey’s lightsaber in his left hand, Ben turns his own lightsaber on, the blue blade hovering over Rey’s shoulder.

Ben thinks of his own Knighting Ceremony, some seven years earlier.

When it was Bail at his side, and Luke before him.

When it was Luke’s green lightsaber brought to both his shoulders.

When it was the best day of Ben’s life.

When it was Bail’s matching smile, his exhilarated grin.

When it was the open future unrolling at their feet.

When it was two identical boys looking forward to two opposite futures.

When Ben thought he knew who he was, and what he was meant to be.

When Ben didn’t realize what was coming, what he would become.

This is Rey’s Knighting Ceremony, and it is completely different, and all for her. He’s just her Master who has seen her on to Knighthood, who is so proud of her, who knows she has earned this, who knows she will continue to grow and evolve and leave her own mark on the New Jedi Order. 

And more than that, he’s just a man who loves her, and is grateful to have her at his side for the war ahead.

Ben closes his eyes, pulling himself into the Force, gathering all the light and essence that is Rey, to give her the message from the Force itself that will guide her as a Jedi Knight.

“Every single time you are faced with certain despair, you choose to look at it straight on with hope,” Ben says. “I’m not sure you realize how unique that makes you. You are constantly, and painfully, seeking the good in others. You work to cultivate it. Even when it doesn’t pan out, you are not swayed; you’ll always try again. All of this, from someone who grew up in loneliness and sorrow, from someone whose light has never dimmed. Your light will illuminate your path forward, because it’s  _ you. _ Everything you are. Everything you have. You’re a guiding star, and you will be a beacon for others who are lost as you were once lost, who seek understanding, serenity, and hope. And you will never lead anyone astray, yourself included. You are your own best thing.”

Rey blinks up at him, tears falling down her face.

“As Head of the New Jedi Order,” Ben says, now. “By the will of the Force…”

_ There is no pain, there is grace. _

_ There is so much grace here, _ Ben knows.

In him. In Rey. In them.

In the future, unknown and terrifying and endlessly possible.

“I dub thee, Rey, Knight of the New Jedi Order,” he finishes.

Rey looks up at him, brown eyes wide but triumphant, her starlight rivaling the light of the rising sun behind them.

A new dawn. A new day. 

A new Jedi.

Ben grins at her.

“Rise, Jedi Knight,” he says. “And take up your sword.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 100,000+ words written entirely within the month of February. yikes.
> 
> I always wanted Rey to have a green dual-bladed lightsaber. Dual-bladed like her beloved staff; and green because "I didn't know there was this much green in the whole galaxy". and also green as an homage to Luke, though I couldn't work that in.
> 
> Velmor, velmorite, velmstone, all Old EU canon. I think the Crystal Code is now Old EU too. I know Obi-Wan is canonically from "Stewjon" but consider: That's ridiculous. Rey's "battle dress" is 100% the same design as Padmé's battle dress from THE PHANTOM MENACE.
> 
> There was a definite decrease in interest in this story as I reached the final stretch, and I'm kind of reevaluating my own interest as I work on the third/final story. The third story has been much harder to write, as I am not taking much (so far: nothing) from TROS as I did not like that movie and didn't find it satisfying. 
> 
> So, you know, if you liked this story and would read a third, please let me know.
> 
> ETA 3/14/2020: Thank you all for the comments and enthusiasm! I am going to power through a third story, but as mentioned, it's been hard so it'll take a little longer before I can start posting. But let's do it!


	12. to meet beyond shadows

The sequel to this story is now posting!

[to meet beyond shadows](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23268175/chapters/55721836)

Summary:

Five years after the Battle of Crait, the Resistance wages a fierce war against the First Order. Jedi Master Ben Organa-Solo guides the New Jedi Order in the war, and their fight against Supreme Leader Kylo Ren and his Knights.

But there are evils waiting to be awakened. Words that must be said. Myths that must be realized. Brothers that must be confronted.

The end is near.

[A THE RISE OF SKYWALKER fix-it fic, I guess, except it borrows little plot. Mostly characters. And acts as the finale of this AU trilogy.]


End file.
